Summary: Hiko knows Hiten Mitsurugi's rules forward and back, and nowhere does it say his apprentice has to be human.

AN: I have no excuse. I'm sorry. In other news, I removed the previous chapter (the Sano infodump one) because it served no useful purpose and was enormously clunky.

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"Get up, Ugly, Sword Heart's gone!"

"Buh?" Kaoru flailed halfheartedly at her student and tried to burrow back under the covers. Then the words registered and she sat up so quickly Yahiko fell over. "What?"

"He was gone when I got up," said Yahiko. "Zanza challenged him to a fight at that abandoned shrine in the forest."

"And Sword Heart accepted?" She shook her head. "We're leaving as soon as I get dressed."

"Hurry up, Ugly," said Yahiko, and he slid the door closed before she could retaliate.

Two minutes later they were hurrying down the street. The sky was still mostly dark, and they were the only ones on this stretch of road. Kaoru was having a hard time imagining Zanza getting up this early for anything. Speaking of which...

"Why were you up this early?" she asked.

"...Toilet," said Yahiko, not looking at her.

"Well, it's really lucky you noticed," said Kaoru. "How did you notice anyway? Did he leave a note?"

"Yeah, it was under the dining table."

"Under the- What were you doing in the dining room?"

"Uh... I got lost in the dark and tripped over it by accident and saw the note."

Well, that was kind of weird, but she supposed even Yahiko had his moments.

"Did it say a time?"

"No," said Yahiko. "Just that Zanza challenged him today."

There was a little bit of light in the sky by the time they reached the bamboo forest. The shrine was on the other side of the river, and it took them a bit of time to follow the river down to the bridge and then come back over to the shrine.

It was a small, rundown thing that had stopped being used years ago. Sword Heart was sitting near it. His ear twitched as they approached, and when Kaoru and Yahiko entered the clearing he looked over.

Kaoru didn't waste time on formalities. "What do you mean, Zanza challenged you?"

Sword Heart looked slightly taken aback by her forcefulness. "Ah... Kaoru-dono, that is-"

"I want a straight answer!"

"Oh..." His ears drooped. "Well... that is, Zanza challenged this one to a fight last evening, that he did."

"Yes, I get that," said Kaoru impatiently, "but why?"

"Calm down, Ugly," said Yahiko. "What're you so worked up about anyways?"

"I-" She stopped. What was she so worked up about? It wasn't like Zanza had challenged Sword Heart to mortal combat. And Sword Heart-

Oh. Oh. That was the problem. She knew intellectually that Sword Heart was the best swordsman in at least Tokyo if not all of Japan, but she didn't actually believe that. Most of the time when she saw him he was cooking or doing the laundry or playing with Gensai-sensei's granddaughters. He looked, felt, sounded, and acted like a plush toy, and on the very few occasions where he spoke about his Bakumatsu years he always referred to the Battousai in the third person. Of the four times she had seen him fight, the first time she'd only seen the flying bodies, the second time she'd been too busy holding off a hoard of yakuza, the third time she'd only seen the aftermath, and the fourth time had hardly qualified as much of a fight.

Was it really any wonder that she thought he needed protecting?

She tried again. "Do you know why he challenged you?"

He hesitated for a moment before answering. "Do you know of the Sekihoutai?"

"What's that?" asked Yahiko.

"They were a militia on the Ishin Shishi's side during the Bakumatsu," Kaoru explained, "but they started spreading false rumors and were executed as traitors."

"No," said Sword Heart.

"What?"

"They were told to spread the rumors by the Ishin Shishi, that they were, in order to encourage more people to join their... our cause. When the Shishi leaders realized they could not deliver on the promises, they had the Sekihou denounced as a false army."

"Wait, the Ishin Shishi were the guys who won, right?" asked Yahiko, frowning.

"...Yes, Yahiko," said Kaoru. Sometimes it just wasn't worth it anymore. "Yes. They were."

"Zanza is a survivor of the Sekihoutai," Sword Heart went on.

Kaoru blinked. "Really? But he'd have to have been about... ten, right? Somewhere around that?"

"He was under the care of one of the captains. This one does not think he ever fought. Regardless, he holds no love for the current regime. And the Battousai is regarded as one of the men without whom it would never have been brought about."

"Were you really that scary?" said Yahiko.

Kaoru breathed in sharply. "Yahiko!"

"There are three ways to tell if Battousai has been present: first, is to look at how much blood there is on the opposite side of the street; second, is to look at how far the torso is from the remainder of the body; third, is to look at whether the sword has been drawn," Sword Heart recited. His voice, which had hardened as the conversation continued, softened to nearly its normal tone as he added, "Battousai alone was responsible for far more than a thousand deaths, that he was. It would not be the best idea to speak so casually of him in Kyoto, Yahiko, that it would not."

Yahiko mumbled an apology.

"So when is Zanza coming?"

"He said he would arrive at high noon, that he did. He was very formal about it."

"What are you doing here now if he's coming at noon? It's barely even dawn!"

"Oro... This is very important to him, that it is. This one did not want to be late, that he did not-"

"You're not going to be late," said Kaoru, exasperated. "Were you actually planning to stay here until noon? Have you even had breakfast yet?"

Sword Heart blinked. It was ridiculously adorable.

"Right. We can come back at noon-"

"Actually," Sword Heart cut in, "this one would prefer it if Kaoru-dono and Yahiko were not present, that he would."

Kaoru paused. "But-"

"You'll tell us what happens when you get back, right?" At Kaoru's look, the boy said, "Look, Ugly, he's being serious. He's probably got a good reason for it."

Yahiko had a point, reluctant as she was to admit it. "Fine," said Kaoru to Sword Heart. "But you're still coming back to the dojo until then."

Kenshin gave her a small, relieved smile. "Hai."