Synopsis:
After a forced marriage filled with violence, Bella escapes from Edward with their unborn child. Almost four years later, Edward has found her and their daughter and he refuses to let them go.
"I can live alone, if self-respect, and circumstances require me so to do.
I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me,
which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld
or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give."
― Charlotte Brontë
Chapter 13
Broken Strings
The sky over Sea-Tac airport was a dull grey, and as Bella sat watching it through the enormous glass that covered the far wall, she thought of how fitting it was. Overhead, the monotone voice on the public address system announced the arrival of another flight. Bella had to strain to hear it over the noise in the food court. Each time an announcement was made, her heart sped up.
It wasn't Renee's flight.
Bella breathed a sigh of relief. She still had time. Taking a deep breath, she tried again to calm herself, but it was a task proving to be impossible. Every passing moment brought her closer to finally seeing her mother. With it also came the fear.
How do you just pick up the pieces after four years apart?
During the times they'd spoken on the phone, Renee had been patient thus far, but how long would that last? How long would she go along with Bella's "ask no questions, tell no lies" request? When the time came to come clean, how would Bella handle it? How would Renee? Bella hoped it would never come to that, because she knew, without a doubt, that if Renee knew what happened, it would crush her.
Glancing at the clock on the far wall, Bella saw that it was just after one in the afternoon. Alexis was in school today, and she'd arranged for after care service just in case she didn't make it back in time. Edward had offered to keep Alexis, but Bella just wasn't ready to trust him like that. He'd even offered to let her borrow his car so she wouldn't have to drive her truck all the way to Seattle, but she'd refused.
Overhead, the public address system rang out again over the noise. It was a flight from New York. Still not Renee. Bella let out a breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding. She still had time.
It still felt surreal to Bella, knowing she was just moments away from seeing her mother again. Renee hadn't gone into much detail on the effect Bella's absence had had on her, but Bella knew it was there. She could hear it in Renee's voice every time they spoke. It was embedded deep within her words and in her tone of voice. Renee always seemed to weigh her words before she spoke them, as if she was afraid the wrong thing might make Bella run again.
The voice on the public address system came through one more time. "Now arriving— flight 1702 from Phoenix, Arizona." Bella's heart sped up to double time. This was it. Renee had arrived. Bella's hand shook as she picked up the cup she'd been drinking from and tossed it into the garbage. The space surrounding the arrivals' waiting area was busy as usual, but Bella managed to wedge herself between two couples for a proper view of those arriving. Around her, people held signs and flowers, welcoming their loved ones to Seattle. She wondered if she should have done the same thing.
Bella scanned the faces of each passenger coming though, her anxiousness gripping her. Now that she was so close to her mother, Bella didn't care anymore about her worries. She wanted to see Renee. She wanted to see her mother. She would deal with all the other stuff later, but for now, she needed to see her mother with her own two eyes. For a moment, Bella's heart seemed to freeze as she wondered if she would recognize Renee or if Renee would recognize her. How much had they both changed in the past four years?
Time seemed to drag as Bella waited. Then she saw her. Renee seemed just as nervous as Bella as she walked down the path to the waiting throng of people. Her eyes seemed to be searching the faces, but Bella was so lost in the crowd she couldn't see her. Bella felt as though her heart would explode as she moved from between the couples and walked around the crowd to where Renee stood, uncertainty in her eyes. Around them, other families greeted their loved ones, but all of that was lost to Bella. All she could see was her mother. When Bella stepped into her line of vision, Renee's hand flew to her mouth, and tears welled up in her eyes. Renee didn't even wait for the initial shock to wear off before she reached forward and wrapped Bella in her arms. Bella held onto her mother tightly as they both cried into each other's shoulders. The emotions were too overwhelming to form coherent words.
"I missed you," Renee said through her sobs. Bella held her mother just a little bit tighter.
"I missed you, too, Mom. I'm sorry." Bella felt she owed it to her mother to keep saying that over and over. She was sorry. Sorry that Renee had been hurt as well, in all that had happened.
"It doesn't even matter. I'm just glad I have you back."
Having her mother's arms wrapped around her was something Bella had been aching for ages. Now that she had it, it was like coming up for air after a long time underwater.
When Renee pulled away so she could hold Bella's face in between her hands, it was then that Bella noticed the changes in her mother. There were dark circles under Renee's eyes and her skin looked paler. Her eyes seemed to hold an ocean of grief.
If it had been any other place, the sight of the two of them hugging and crying might have alarmed passersby, but airports were known for tearful reunions so no one paid them much attention.
"I still can't believe I've found you," Renee said. "I'm afraid that if I look away, you might disappear from me again."
"I'm not going anywhere," Bella said.
Renee just wrapped her arms around Bella again and held her.
After collecting Renee's luggage from the carousel, they were on their way back to Forks. Bella had to be back in Forks before five to pick Alexis up from after-school care, and she told Renee this.
Renee's eyes welled again at the mention of Alexis.
"I can't believe I'm a grandmother," she said, pride and joy strong in her voice. "I can't wait to meet her. Tell me about her."
Bella smiled briefly to herself. "How do I go about describing my strong-willed but very sweet child?"
Renee laughed. "If she's anything like you, I can only imagine."
"She can't wait to meet you," Bella said.
"You told her I was coming?"
"Of course. I had to explain why I was picking her up late. Don't tell her I told you this, but she said she was making a surprise for you."
Renee wiped a tear from her eye. "Gosh, I can't wait to meet her."
They were silent for a moment, and Renee seemed to be, again, weighing her words before she spoke them. "Where is Edward?" she asked.
"He's busy," was all Bella said.
Her mother seemed to home in on Bella's reluctance to expand on that, because after a few beats, she began asking easier questions.
The rest of the drive passed with ease as Renee and Bella caught up. Renee asked Bella about school and work, while Bella asked her about Arizona. Neither brought up the past or all that had happened. It was fifteen minutes to five when they passed the old wooden sign welcoming them to Forks.
"It's very different here," Renee murmured as they drove through town. Bella couldn't deny that. Forks was definitely not Florida. A few cars were parked outside of Alexis's school. When Bella pulled up, she saw Alexis, her face pressed against the front window, staring out to the road. At the sight of Bella's truck, Alexis ran from the window. By the time Bella was climbing out of the truck, Alexis was already out the door, backpack and a piece of paper in hand as she bounded over to Bella.
"Mommy!" she shouted. Bella held her arms out for her and picked her up when she was within reach. Behind her, Mrs. Evans was holding Alexis's lunch kit, which she handed to Bella.
"I'll see you Monday," she said.
"Thank you," Bella replied.
"I missed you so much," Alexis said dramatically.
"I missed you, too," Bella said. "I have someone for you to meet."
Renee was a tearful mess when Bella opened the back door to place Alexis in her car seat.
"Alexis, I would like you to meet my mother," Bella said as a way of introduction. "Mom, why are you crying?"
Renee seemed at a loss for words as she looked at Alexis. Alexis held the paper out to Renee.
"I made this for you," she said.
That just seemed to make Renee cry harder. "Thank you," she said through her tears as she took the paper. From where she stood, Bella could see that it was a drawing of a person with the words, "To: Grandma From: Alexis" written at the bottom.
"My teacher helped me write the words," Alexis said pointing to it.
"It's very beautiful. Thank you." She held her arms out for Alexis who jumped over the center console to settle in her lap as Renee hugged her. "You have your grandfather's curls," she whispered into Alexis's hair.
After a few moments, Renee finally released Alexis so Bella could strap her into her car seat. Alexis talked the entire drive to La Push, catching both Bella and Renee up on all the latest pre-school gossip, which included a new boy in her class. She even spoke of Edward, of how he'd gotten her a bike and was teaching her how to ride it. Bella was thankful that Alexis didn't mention that she'd only first met Edward several weeks ago. Renee seemed to be enthralled by everything Alexis said and would egg her on with questions. It seemed that, just like with Bella, Renee was determined to know everything about her granddaughter. Alexis was just as taken with her grandmother. Their exchange did not end in the car. By the time they'd arrived at the restaurant, Alexis had Renee wrapped around her fingers.
"But I don't want to eat carrots," Alexis complained to Bella. They had been at the restaurant for over two hours and needed to head home soon. They were just waiting for Alexis to finish eating.
"But they are good for you," Bella said, trying to reason with her.
"But they taste yucky." She gave Bella her sad face. Bella, who after years of seeing it was immune to it, didn't budge. Renee, however, folded.
"Aww, you don't have to eat those carrots," Renee said. She shot Bella an apologetic shrug and mouthed, "I can't help it."
Alexis flashed Bella a smug smile. Bella just rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but laugh. It was late when they finally left the restaurant. Alexis had fallen asleep as soon as the car started moving.
"She has his eyes," Renee said softly as she looked into the backseat. "Bella, she is absolutely beautiful. You've done an amazing job raising her."
"Thank you," Bella said, and for once she was able to push down her self-doubt and accept Renee's compliment.
She looked back at Bella again, and when she spoke, Bella could hear the sincerity in her voice. "I know there are things in your past that you don't want me to know, and I promise not to ask you because, well, I trust you, and I trust your decisions, but I want you to know that if you ever want to talk, I'm here. I will listen."
Bella had just pulled into the driveway when Renee said those words. She had to fight hard to keep herself from crying. After shutting off the engine, she reached out and took Renee's hand.
"Thank you for being here," she said. Even as the words left her mouth, Bella felt they weren't enough to convey the depth of her relief at having Renee here with her. It was as if another burden had been lifted off her shoulders. It was as if the pieces were finally beginning to fit together. "Thank you for never giving up hope in me."
Renee reached out and, wrapping her arms around Bella, she whispered into her hair, "I can never give up hope in you."
The sound of the door slamming as Edward left vibrated off the walls. It wasn't until she heard the sound of an engine starting and tyres on gravel that Bella allowed herself to breathe a small sigh of relief. Despite their head butting, she had avoided another physical confrontation with Edward— for now at least.
"Is there anything else you would like?" Mrs. Miller's small voice asked from the doorway. Bella could see sadness and sympathy etched on the woman's face.
"No, I'm fine," Bella said as she stood up to leave. She carried her stillfull plate to the counter and handed it to the woman. She felt bad for the wastage, but try as she might, she could not bring herself to consume anything.
"Is there anything special you would like for lunch?" Mrs. Miller asked as she took the plate from her. Bella shuddered slightly. She highly doubted she would have an appetite by lunchtime, but not wanting to be rude, she said, "Anything is fine."
The house was abuzz with workers as Bella made her way through it. Each of them gave her small smiles and worried looks as she passed. She guessed that what had transpired between her and Edward the night before had not gone unnoticed. Not with the bruises and marks on her skin to prove it.
The house was still unfamiliar to Bella, so each room she walked into was a new surprise. It was larger than she initially thought. Outside, the grounds were a lot less occupied; this made her glad. The house, as Bella saw, was surrounded by trees. She walked until she reached the very edge. It was dense enough that she couldn't see the other side. She briefly wondered if she walked far enough in, if she would find a way off the grounds. The sound of someone behind her made her jump in fright.
One of the security guards who had gone with her to the horror of a shopping trip the day before stood slightly behind her. Bella was about to ask him what he wanted when she remembered Edward's threat. She realised that he was there to keep an eye on her. Anger flooded her, but she knew arguing would be pointless. They were all like automated robots designed to do Edward's bidding. At least the maids showed some kind of compassion.
In anger, Bella returned to the house, slamming the door as she went. A few of the maids looked up as she did, but none of them said anything. Walking into the living room, Bella spotted Edward's piano in front of a large window. One of the maids was wiping it down, but she stepped away when she saw Bella approach.
Sitting down on the bench, Bella passed her fingers gently over the keys. In Florida, she'd had a few lessons, but she had lacked the discipline. She preferred to learn by mimicking the songs of her favourite artists. Very slowly, Bella began to play one to herself. The song was a haunting one that spoke of deep loss and sadness. It described her current emotions perfectly. Only when she was fully lost in the music did Bella allow herself to think about all that had happened.
She'd screwed up. She knew it, and the marks on her skin proved it. She'd let her anger overrule her reaction, and now she was trapped in an abusive marriage. But that wasn't her only fault. Her first mistake had occurred long before when she'd let her emotions overrule her judgement. She'd fallen again for Edward, and as a result had been hurt by it. Bella wondered if there would ever be a time when she'd stop using love as an excuse.
"Amy Lee?" a voice asked from behind her. She'd been so caught up in the music she did not hear the person come up from behind. The woman behind her was dressed in the usual maid attire, but whereas the other maids were older, she looked around the same age as Bella.
It took a moment for Bella to realise what she was referring to, and when she did, Bella smiled slightly. "You know Evanescence?"
"'Fallen' is a work of art."
Bella nodded in agreement.
"Well, I'll leave you to it," the woman said. Panic seized Bella.
"Wait, you don't have to go." This was the first person in the house who was even close to her age. She hadn't realised before how incredibly lonely she was. She hadn't had any type of real company, other than Edward, since Florida.
"I have work to do," the woman said, holding up the pile of sheets she held in her hand.
"Oh." Bella began playing again.
"I'll be off in an hour, and if you want we can hang out then," the woman offered.
Bella's hope fell just as soon as it swelled. "I can't leave the property."
"We can stay around here. You can come down to the maid quarters with me."
"Okay," Bella said, glad to finally have some kind of company.
"Well, give me an hour, then meet me down in residential."
"Where's that?"
The woman pointed through the window just behind Bella. Outside, all Bella could see was dense woods.
"Head down towards there, and you'll see a path. Take the path, and you'll reach residential. It's still on the grounds, so you won't have to worry." Then, walking closer to Bella, she held out her hand. "I'm Eyrn, by the way."
Bella took her hand. "Bella."
With one last nod, Eyrn left the room.
Bella spent the next hour in the master bedroom, unable to stand the pitying looks from the other workers. It wasn't until she was alone that she realised Eyrn hadn't given her that look. Maybe that was why she'd gravitated toward her.
When the hour had passed, Bella made her way to the area Eyrn had pointed out. Just like before, it wasn't until she was just on the edge that she felt someone behind her, but this time, she didn't pause to get angry. She found the path just between the trees. The distance from the edge of the trees to the residential house was not more than a three-minute walk, but Bella hadn't been able to spot it from the house. It wasn't until she came upon it that she understood why. Unlike the multi-leveled mansion where she and Edward lived, this one was flat leveled, and whereas the mansion screamed of wealth, this one sent out a more homely vibe. It looked very out of place in the woods. After knocking on the door, Bella was slightly surprised when Mrs. Miller answered.
"Bella, come in. Is everything all right? Is there something you need?" she asked. She was dressed in a soft, light blue dress, which Bella guessed was her casual clothes. Her hair was no longer in the tight bun Bella had seen her in before, and she held a book in her hand.
"Everything is all right," Bella said, but they both knew she was lying. Everything was not all right. "Is Eyrn here?"
No sooner had the question left her lips, than a voice behind Mrs. Miller called out, "Bella."
They both turned to see a casually dressed Eyrn standing just behind Mrs. Miller.
"She's here to see me," she explained. Mrs. Miller looked genuinely pleased.
"I was about to have lunch. Care to join me?" Eyrn asked. "After, I can show you the new Evanescence CD. It came out yesterday."
"Sure."
"I'll fix you both something," Mrs. Miller said. She bustled off through a doorway just to the side of the front door.
"Come on," Eryn said with a smile, motioning for Bella to follow her through the same doorway.
The house was as simple on the inside as it was on the outside, but whereas it appeared small on the outside, it was quite large on the inside. It held a more comforting feeling of home.
Walking through the doorway, they found Mrs. Miller already moving about the large kitchen.
"Why don't you girls take a seat," she said pleasantly. "I'll just be a moment. Is there anything in particular you want?"
Bella looked at Eryn, who shrugged in response.
"Anything is fine by me," Bella said. Eyrn nodded.
It was only then that Bella realised how hungry she was, having skipped lunch.
Eyrn led her to the dining room table. It wasn't until they'd sat down that Bella felt herself relax. Even though she barely knew them, the comfort she felt around Eyrn and Mrs. Miller was something she didn't think was possible here. She briefly wished she could stay here instead of back at the main house. Bella noticed that, other than the sounds of Mrs. Miller in the kitchen, the house was quiet. She expected that with the size, several people lived here.
"Eyrn, how many people live here?"
"Only five of us. Manyof them leave for the day after they've finished working. They have the option of taking up board here, but most choose to return to their regular lives at the end of the day."
"Why do you stay?"
"I'm from Oklahoma, and I moved here a few months ago to attend college. I wanted to pay my own tuition so I found work working for the Cullens. I worked up at Carlisle and Esme's for a while, then came here when Edward needed workers," she said.
At the mention of Edward's name, Bella's eyes hardened. Eyrn, sensing Bella's feelings, hurried on. "I'm hoping that once I finish my degree, I can return home for a bit before I head off again."
"What are you studying?"
"Computer science."
Hearing Eyrn speak of college reminded Bella that she would never go.
Mrs. Miller came over then and placed a bowl of lemon pasta salad in front of them.
"Thank you," Bella and Eryn said.
"Is there anything else you would like?" Mrs. Miller asked.
"No, we're fine," Eyrn said.
"Okay, well if you do, just call. I'll be out in the backyard."
Before leaving she gave them both a gentle smile that made her eyes twinkle.
"She cares about you," Eyrn said after Mrs. Miller had gone. "They all do."
Bella looked at her, confused.
"I meant the workers. If there was a way to help you, they would and so would I. I didn't understand why the contract they had me sign emphasized privacy so much, until I saw you and found out what happened." There was no denying the sincerity in Eryn's voice when she spoke. "If there was any way I could help you, I would. We all would. But the contract we all signed spoke of the consequences of speaking out. Crossing the Cullens doesn't just end badly for us but for our families as well."
"I wouldn't want you to do that," Bella assured her. "Besides, even if you were to go to someone, what would they do? The Cullens have too much influence."
Eyrn nodded, because it was true. "It's like my dad used to say, 'When money talks, bullshit walks.'
"I don't want to talk about it," Bella said.
With an understanding nod, Eryn steered the conversation on to easier topics.
By the end of the day, Bella was having a good time. Eryn was a great person to talk to, and they shared such similar taste in music and movies that they never ran out of things to talk about. As a rule, they stayed clear of the harder topics.
Throughout the day, Bella saw the other occupants of the house, and after the initial shock of seeing Bella there, they each went out of their way to make sure she was comfortable. Bella knew it was their way of apologizing for not being able to do more to help her, and she appreciated the gesture. All in all, Bella was having a good time, and she hated that it had to end.
It was after five in the evening when there was a knock at the door. Bella and Eryn were busy playing a third hand of cards in the living room when the same man that had followed Bella earlier walked in.
"Mrs. Cullen, Mr. Cullen has arrived back at the main house," he said.
"So?" Bella snapped. If Edward was expecting her to be waiting at the door like June Cleaver, he had another thing coming to him.
"He says that you are to join him for dinner."
Bella rolled her eyes. She was about to have a message passed onto Edward telling him where he could stick that dinner, but she thought better of it. Edward had already proven that he was not afraid to force her hand if necessary.
"Fine," she muttered. Then she turned to Eryn. "Guess I'd better go."
Eryn gave her a small, sad smile. "It was nice meeting you," she said. Bella could see the fear and sadness in her eyes. Mrs. Miller, who had been watching them play from her spot on the couch, had the same look.
"Can I come back tomorrow?" Bella asked.
"Of course," Eryn said. "Even if I'm not here, you can hang out here if you want."
"Thanks." With one last wave, she left, already dreading the clash with Edward she knew was coming.
Bella held the confusing letter tightly in her hand as she made her way to her last class of the day. The letter, which she'd found on her desk during work that morning, was a company letter sent out to all employees informing them of changes in the business. It seemed Mr. McAllister had sold the business, and they were all under new management. That wasn't the baffling part; everyone knew Mr. McAllister had wanted to retire. What was strange was the changes that were being implemented. Starting the following week, each employee was getting a raise, as well as compensations that were not normal for such a small business.
The letter did not name the new owner. It only listed the new changes and a hope that the employees would find them satisfactory. The handful of editors who worked on the paper were glad for the new management, and whilst Bella was as well, it struck her as too good to be true.
Shoving the letter into her bag, she pushed all suspicion of that away. It could wait for a little while. It was the first week of the beginning of the semester, so the hallway was filled with students trying to locate their respective classrooms.
Stumbling into her first human biology class for the semester, Bella was relieved that the professor had not arrived yet. The class was almost full so Bella took the only available seat at the center of the cramped room. She didn't recognise the guy sitting next to her, which was surprising considering the small size of the school. In Forks, everyone knew everyone.
No sooner had Bella gotten comfortable did the professor walk in. Science was not her favourite subject, so with great unwillingness, she prepared herself for what was bound to be a difficult class. A half hour before the end of the class, the professor, Dr. Devine, made an announcement.
"I'm not sure how many of you have read the course outline, but you all have a semester-long project which is due the last week of the semester." Bella wasn't even aware there was a course outline. There was an immediate groan from the class. Dr. Devine smiled slightly at the response. Even though she was older than most of the students in the class, she had a witty sense of humour that made her easily likable. Walking around the room, she began handing out a piece of paper with the instructions. "The project will account for 30 percent of your grade. A minimum of two people to a group. It's your decision who you partner with." With that said, she left them to their own devices.
"Would you like to be my partner?" a voice next to Bella asked. Looking up, Bella was met with a pair of cool blue eyes, alive with humour.
"Sure..."
"Sebastian," he said, holding his hand out to her.
"Bella," she said, taking his hand in hers. His grip was firm, and when he smiled, his eyes seemed to sparkle. Bella couldn't put her finger on it, but something about Sebastian immediately put her slightly at ease. After she'd pulled her hand away, Bella shook her head slightly, trying to clear her thoughts. The instructions on the paper were pretty straightforward. They had to choose a mental illness and do a report on it.
"Any ideas on what mental illness we can do?" Sebastian asked.
"No. There is so much to choose from, it's hard to narrow it down," Bella said. When she looked up, she saw that the class was slowly emptying.
"Well, we can each think of what illness we want to do and decide the next time we see each other." He, too, had noticed the emptying class.
"Sounds good."
Walking to her truck, Bella was glad to be outside of the confines of the classroom. Forks was experiencing one of its few sunny days, and she welcomed the change with open arms. Alexis's school had closed early for the summer, so now she was attending camp at her preschool. It was still early when she pulled up outside of Alexis's school. Cutting off the engine, she waited. But the confines of the truck were almost as bad as the classroom. The bench outside of Alexis's classroom where parents sometimes waited was empty, so stepping out of the truck, she began making her way towards it.
It wasn't until she'd turned around that she found Sebastian standing behind her.
"Are you stalking me?" Bella asked.
He laughed at her question. "I was about to ask you the same thing, but no. I'm actually here to pick up my son," he said, indicating to the school. "I saw you pull up, so I thought I'd come over."
They both began walking towards the direction of the bench.
"Has your son always gone here?" Bella asked as they sat down.
"No. This is his second week."
"Oh, you must be Drayven's father," Bella said, finally connecting the pieces. "My daughter, Alexis, is in the same class, and she mentioned there was a new boy." It was true. Alexis had been going nonstop about her new friend at camp.
"Yes, Alexis. Drayven told me he was her friend." Then turning to Bella, he said with a smile, "This really is a small town."
"You have no idea," Bella said. From where they sat, they could hear the voices of the children inside the classroom.
"If you don't mind me asking," Bella said after a moment, "how long have you been in Forks? I don't think I've seen you around."
"Is it that obvious?"
"As you've noticed, it's a pretty small town."
"Well, there is no denying it," Sebastian said. "Drayven and I moved here about a month ago. I have family up in Port Angeles, so I moved here to be closer to them."
"That's nice," Bella said.
"What about you?" Sebastian asked. "How long have you been here?"
"A few years. I moved here just before Alexis was born."
Sebastian's next question caught Bella off guard. "Is her father here as well?"
Bella's eyebrows raised in confusion.
Seeing the quizzical look on her face, Sebastian was quick to explain. "I noticed you said you moved here. Not that you and her father moved here. If I'm being rude, please forgive me."
"Oh," Bella said. His question made sense.
"Well, her father recently moved here."
"So you're not together?"
"No." Sebastian's line of questioning was starting to make her feel uncomfortable. As a rule, Bella hated delving into her past— even if she was skimming the details.
"Oh," was all Sebastian said in response.
"What about you?" Bella asked, wanting to take the focus away from herself. "Does Drayven's mother live in Forks?"
"Actually, no. His mother left right after he was born. She couldn't take the pressure of being a parent, so it's been Drayven and I ever since."
"Must be hard," Bella commented. "Raising him on your own."
Sebastian shrugged. "It is, but I don't have to tell you that. If I had to choose, I wouldn't want it any other way. I rather Drayven be with me than being raised by his unstable mother. I mean, wouldn't you rather Alexis be with you than with her father?"
"Definitely," Bella answered immediately. Just the thought of Alexis being anywhere near Esme made her blood run cold.
"I think they should be finished now," Sebastian said, glancing at his watch. As they made their way to the classroom, Bella could feel Sebastian's gaze on her.
They found Alexis and Drayven sitting side by side in the classroom. Both children jumped up at the sight of their parents and ran to them.
"I guess they are as excited for the end of the school day as we are," Sebastian said.
"I can't blame them."
Walking back to the car park, Bella and Sebastian were a few steps behind Alexis and Drayven.
"Guess I'll see you around," Sebastian said when it was time to part ways.
"Bye," Bella said.
Edward's car wasn't outside the house when Bella and Alexis reached home, but Bella didn't worry about that. Edward had called that morning and said he'd be a bit late today.
"Is Daddy coming over today?" Alexis asked, as she handed Bella her backpack and lunch kit. Bella, already carrying her own bag, struggled slightly to hold it all. "Yes but later. Don't you think you should hold some of these things?" Bella asked.
"I am holding something," Alexis said, holding up the paper with her latest artwork.
"That's not what I meant," Bella said, but Alexis had already run ahead.
When they walked into the house, they found Renee in the kitchen with a mixing bowl in her hand and an open cookbook in front of her. At the sight of Alexis, Renee put the bowl down and swept her granddaughter up into a hug.
Looking into the bowl, Bella couldn't help but ask, "Umm, Mom, what are you doing?"
Even though she deluded herself into thinking she was, Renee was not a cook. Even Alexis's eyes widened slightly in alarm.
"I thought I'd try a new recipe," Renee said excitedly, indicating to the page with instructions on making snickerdoodles. Bella tried and failed to mirror her excitement. The last time Renee, "tried a new recipe" the smoke alarm had gone off.
"How was work?" Renee asked.
"It was all right, but it seems there are going to be a few changes there. The business is under some new management now."
"Is that good or bad?"
Bella thought for a minute. It was good of course, but something about it struck her as odd. "I'm not sure."
"Have you heard from Edward?" Renee asked.
Even though she tried to make the question nonchalant, Bella could see something in her mother's eyes. During the time she'd been in Forks, Renee had been a silent observer to how Bella and Edward interacted. Bella couldn't deny that her mother was perceptive, and that perception led her to believe that a lot had happened between Bella and Edward, but true to her word, she never questioned them on it.
"He said he'll be by later to see her," Bella said.
Renee nodded but didn't comment on it.
"Before I forget, Bella, this came for you today." Renee held out an envelope which Bella took. With one glance to the front of the envelope, Bella knew what it was right away.
"Can you watch Alexis for me for a moment?" Bella asked Renee.
"Sure. She can be my taste tester."
Alexis grimaced slightly at that, and Bella shot her a sympathetic look before leaving.
Walking to her room, Bella closed the door quietly behind her. With Renee's help, she had been able to replace the furniture James had destroyed. After putting her bag down, she began opening the envelope with shaky fingers, pulling out each piece of paper. At the top written in bold captions were the words, "Superior Court of Washington, County of" and below that, "Petition for Dissolution of Marriage."
Just like with deciding to contact Renee, this was something that had been brewing in Bella's mind for a while now. She'd wanted to sign this ever since she had left Chicago four years ago, but she knew it was not possible. Not while she was hiding from Edward. Now that he'd found them and things were going okay, she was ready to fully dissolve any connection, other than Alexis, that she had to Edward. She was ready to let that part of her life go.
But she was afraid. She was afraid this could be the trigger that sent Edward back into his old ways. That was why she'd had the papers sent to the house. She was afraid that if somehow he saw her at the courthouse, he'd figure it out.
That wasn't the only reason why she was afraid. Passing her finger gently over the part of the document that asked about children, Bella's heart rate sped up when she thought about Alexis becoming even more involved in this. She knew, without a doubt, this would end up in court. If it did and Edward decided to challenge her for custody, she knew she wouldn't stand a chance. Money could make anything happen, and Edward had an abundance of money and influence.
This was one of those moments when the guilt would press its hand down on her. Time and time again, Bella blamed herself. Every time she thought of how badly all of this could end for Alexis, how Alexis could end up being hurt by all of it, it tore Bella apart. She often felt that if she hadn't been stupid enough to fall for Edward in the past, none of this would have happened. If she hadn't been so naive, Alexis would not have an unsure future ahead of her.
Returning the paper to the envelope, Bella tucked the envelope deep within the confines of the closet, but before she closed the door, her hand brushed against a flat, smooth surface. The texture of the object was different from the rough interior of the inside of the closet. Reaching in, she pulled out a small wooden box. The box itself was undistinguished. What was inside the box was what made her pause. Opening the lid, Bella quickly sifted through its contents to the bottom. There she found the ring Edward had given to her on their wedding day. Bella hadn't looked at it for quite some time. Whenever she felt the urge to take it out, her mind was quickly bombarded with memories of what it symbolized. Despite what the priest had said, to her, it symbolized obsession, possession and violence. Her finger passed gently over the inscription; the same inscription was engraved on Edward's.
Bella could never fully justify her reasons for keeping it. She knew, ever since she'd ran, that it was worth a lot, and a quick visit to the local pawn shops would have rid her of it and eased her financial burden, but she could never bring herself to do it. Partly because after she'd left, she didn't want any part of Edward paving the road for her and Alexis's future. She hadn't wanted anything to do with his money then, and she still didn't want anything to do with it now. Her other reason for holding onto it, for some reason unbeknownst to her, she couldn't part with it. She didn't know why, and she counted it as weakness on her part. She hated it. She hated that she couldn't part with the ring. She hated that she couldn't close the door firmly on her horrid past.
With a small sigh, Bella placed the ring gently back into the box and returned it to its place in the closet. When Bella walked back to the kitchen, she found Renee, Alexis and Edward. She hadn't heard him arrive. She stood for a moment in the doorway, undetected, watching him.
Despite it having been a while since he'd last put his hands on her, and he seemed to be doing a lot better, Bella still couldn't shake the unease she felt around him. Edward was fragile. She'd known that ever since they'd been in Florida. It wasn't until they were in Chicago that she realised the reason why. Despite the wealth, Edward had grown up in a horrible home, and he was the product of his environment. It was why she'd insisted he go to therapy. But that wasn't enough for her. She could never justify his actions enough to make her overlook what he'd done. Everyday was a constant reminder. Edward had hurt her, and he could do it again.
"Bella, you're just in time to try my first batch," Renee said when she'd spotted Bella lurking in the doorway. Even though her voice was nonchalant, Bella could see something brewing in Renee's eyes. It seemed while Bella had been watching Edward, Renee had been watching Bella.
Alexis was perched on Edward's lap, and as Bella made her way over, he gave her a small smile which she returned. Taking a chair from the dining room, Bella sat next to them by the kitchen table.
"Okay, take a taste," Renee said, sliding the plate of deformed cookies to her.
Bella grimaced as she looked at them. She was pretty sure that snickerdoodles were not supposed to look burnt.
"No, I'm good. Why don't they take the first taste?" Bella slid the plate in front of Edward and Alexis.
"No, we've already had our taste," Edward said.
"Hey, they aren't that bad," Renee tried to argue, but Bella could hear the slight laughter in her voice.
Even though Renee had stayed true to her word and not asked about what happened between Bella and Edward, Bella knew that her mother suspected something bad had happened. But Renee never let that influence how she got along with Edward. Whether it was because of Alexis or because she wasn't positive in her assumptions, Bella wasn't sure.
"They're hard," Alexis said, picking up one of the cookies from the plate and hitting it against the table. The snickerdoodle remained intact as it made impact on the counter.
"Okay, so maybe they are a little overdone," Renee amended.
"Overdone?" Bella and Edward asked in chorus.
"Okay, I burned them," Renee finally admitted. "Don't worry. The next batch will be better. Who wants to taste that one first?"
With one quick glance at each other, Edward and Bella headed for the door, leaving Alexis to play taste tester.
"Do you?" Bella heard Renee ask Alexis.
Her only response was Alexis running ahead of Bella and Edward out the front door.
"Everyone's a comedian," Bella heard Renee mutter under her breath.
Outside, while Alexis drew on the driveway with chalk that Renee had gotten her, Bella and Edward sat on the front step watching her.
"She's a very eccentric cook, your mother," Edward said.
"If by eccentric you mean horrible, then yes." They both laughed.
"What are you doing on Saturday?" Edward asked, suddenly.
Bella shrugged, unsure what his question pertained to. "Why?"
"Well, I know Alexis has been wanting to see that new animal movie, and I wanted to take her to see it. Both of you," Edward said. He sounded so hopeful. Bella was reminded again of his fragility. But fragile or not, now was not the time to be getting close to Edward, especially with the divorce papers burning a hole in her cupboard. But he looked at her with such endearment and intensity that Bella was again reminded of the Edward she'd known when they'd first began dating.
With a small sigh, Bella knew she needed to keep Edward at arm's length, not only for the sake of her sanity, but also for her heart. She knew she could not survive another heartbreak from Edward.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Bella told him. Trying to ignore the sadness in his eyes, she continued. "If you want, I can ask Renee to go with you and Alexis, but not with me."
"It's not a date or anything, I just wanted to take you both out for a change," Edward said, but Bella was already shaking her head. She knew and he knew that it was more than that. It was a way for him to try to make something between them, but the problem was, there would never be anything between them. Not so long as Bella held firm to her beliefs.
"She's your daughter," Bella said. "Build a relationship with her, not me."
Unable to stand the hurt in Edward's eyes, Bella went back into the house. Renee was still in the kitchen.
"Mom, can you keep an eye on Alexis for me?" Bella asked. Renee's eyes widened slightly at the look on Bella's face, and Bella could see the question forming on her lips, but before she could ask, she seemed to remember their agreement so she bit it down.
"Okay," Renee said with a sympathetic smile.
With what she hoped was a reassuring smile, Bella went into her room and shut the door. She wished that with the same firmness that she'd closed her door, she could close the door to Edward as well.
Reading over the reviews from the last chapter, I saw that there were some really good guesses regarding Esme. Some even got it right. I won't say who, but thank you to everyone for giving your input. Another thing I noticed was that no one has been able to guess which direction this story is headed. One of my main goals for this story is to make it as unpredictable as possible and it seems so far so good. My best advice is that while you're reading it, expect the unexpected, and try to give Edward the benefit of the doubt. He is trying.
You can find me on Twitter XxMementoMorix
Special thanks to BelleDuJour, Ajr818 and A is for Angel