Title: The Continuing Day by Day

Author: Spike Speigel

Rating: PG-13

Classification: Castle/Beckett

Disclaimer: My first Castle fanfic. As usual, these characters don't belong to me. I'm just taking them for a joyride. Many thanks to foreverhopefuloflove for the second set of eyes, and recommending a more believable timeline.

Spoilers: Everything's fair game up to and including Knockout.

Summary: How far will Castle go to protect Beckett?

Author's Note: Part 14 of 14. Fun fact. I originally ended this fic with just the one segment. But, then it hit me why I started writing it in the first place. Can you figure it out? Hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. And thanks to all of you that responded with your kind reviews. It means a lot knowing that you guys liked the fic. Sequel?

Day 29, Hour 18, Minute 19:

"Kate…"

He thinks that she smiles at him before she crosses the distance between the hallway and the door and wraps her arms around him. Her voice is hushed, Castle almost hearing the sorrow in her voice as she speaks. "Rick. Where have you been? And what happened to your hand?"

He feels her arms tighten around his waist, so he reciprocates in kind, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "It's a long story."

"It's okay. I've got all the time in the world."

He smiles against her neck before pulling away from her, breaking his embrace. "Come on in." She nods before walking past him into the living room. She sits on the couch closest to her as Castle hesitates for a moment, deciding what exactly he's going to tell her. However, when she turns back to look at him, the sincerity in her gaze, he knows what he has to do. To be honest, there was only ever the one choice.

Beckett watches intently as Castle disappears into his study for the briefest of moments before emerging with a manila folder. She can see that he's gripping it tightly, as though it's the most important object in the world. "What…?"

Castle interrupts her by sitting opposite her on the other side of the coffee table, placing the folder in front of her. "I promised myself that I wouldn't make the same mistake Captain Montgomery made." He can see the confusion in Beckett's demeanor, so he continues. "Take your time. When you're done, we'll talk."

She's still confused, but nods slightly as Castle gets back up from the couch, returning to his study to give her some privacy. He sits behind his desk, about to check his e-mail, but the reflection in the screen gives him pause. He raises his right hand to his cheek, gently rubbing it, the thick hair covering his face surprising him. "I really need to shave." His gaze falls on his hand, Castle noting the splint for his pinky and ring finger. He knows his hand should hurt tremendously, but at this current moment, he feels numb.

Disconnected.

Maybe the scotch was finally working.

The sound at the connecting entrance between the living room and study stirs him from his thoughts as he quickly pulls his hand to his side, watching Beckett intently as she struggles with her words.

"Where…where did you get this?"

Castle rises from his chair, walking around to the front of his desk as he speaks. "Montgomery. I got them from Evelyn."

"Them? There's more than the one folder?" Castle nods. "Can I see them?"

He can hear the desperation in her voice, and he knows that she's about to lose herself once more. He promised himself that he'd never see her like that again. No matter the cost. "Yeah. But before you do, I have to tell you the repercussions if you decide to do what I think you're about to do."

"Castle…"

He interrupts her, knowing that if he listens to her, he'll most likely relent. And he can't. Not now. "I made a deal with the man responsible for your mother's death." He can see the surprise on Beckett's face. Nevertheless, he continues. "Well, not directly. I was able to gain an audience with one of his associates. And after some…" He chooses his words carefully. "Negotiations, we came to an agreement."

He can hear the anger in Beckett's voice as she speaks. "Which is what? As long as I don't actively try to find the man responsible for my mother's death, they'll leave me alone?" Castle nods, knowing that words will just anger her more. "And if I do continue, they'll kill me, right?" At this point, Beckett's certain that Castle will nod his head once more. So it's a genuine surprise when he instead shakes his head slowly, his voice now solemn.

"No." He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Me."

She doesn't understand his response. No, that's not true. She doesn't want to understand his response. The urgency in her voice is clearly evident. "What?"

He doesn't look at her as he speaks. "They'll kill me."

Beckett feels as though someone's shot her again, the air leaving chest in a sharp exhale. Suddenly, the man's question in the coffee shop suddenly makes sense. "What…what did you do?"

"What I had to do."

The anger and hopelessness are evident in her voice as she spits her words at him. "What did you do?"

Castle sighs, the exhaustion beginning to overcome him. Not having a good night's sleep since the woman in front of him was shot is to blame for that. He leans back against his desk, his palms bracing him as he looks up at Beckett. "I gave you your opening." Once again, the confusion is evident on Beckett's demeanor, as if Castle is speaking in tongues. "It may be tomorrow. It may be years from now. But once we finally discover the identity of the man that killed your mother, you get one clean shot at him while…"

Beckett finishes his thought, realizing the magnitude of what the man in front of her has done. "While they kill you."

"Kate…"

"How could you even think I'd be okay with this?"

He answers truthfully. "Because it's your mother."

Their eyes lock across the room, and Beckett can see the sincerity in his eyes. And something else that she can't quite make out. "Your life for hers?"

"No." Castle doesn't break his connection with Beckett as he answers her. "My life for yours." And in that moment, Beckett realizes what else she sees in his eyes. She sees love. It's been so long since she's seen it that upon seeing it, coupled with Castle's honesty, she finds herself taken aback. "You get to wake up in the morning without having to worry about looking over your shoulder."

"And what about Martha and Alexis? What do they think about this plan of yours?" She doesn't realize that her voice is breaking at this point.

"They'll be taken care of if things come to pass. I made sure of that. Part of my deal." He chuckles softly at the absurdity of the conversation he's currently having. It's almost as if he's running through lines for a Derrick Storm novel.

"How can you laugh at a time like this?"

A frown quickly replaces the meager smile that once occupied his face. "Because I just realized that me from three years ago would never even be here." He pushes off from the desk, beginning to walk toward Beckett. He stops mere inches from her, looking down at her as he continues. "But then again, the me from back then had no idea about the kind of person you really were."

"Rick…" She now knows that her voice is breaking. Because of the tears that are threatening to flow freely. She begins to turn away from him, but his hand cups her chin, gently turning her gaze back to his.

"You had to turn me into a better man, didn't you?" And here comes the tears. With that one question, Beckett can feel her walls crumbling apart. She can feel his arms encircling her, but she makes no motion to break free. Instead, she falls into his embrace, her face now buried into his chest as the sobs resonate. "I made a promise. That we'd see this all the way to the end." He drops a small kiss on the top of her head, her arms now reciprocating in kind as they wrap around his waist.

"I never asked you to do this." The sadness in her voice is unmistakable.

Castle pulls her closer, his voice hushed. "You didn't have to." He can feel her fingers clenching his shirt, as though she's trying to maintain her balance. "You once told me that there were three people that you believed were incapable of murder. I've got something similar to that." He pauses, wanting to make sure that he chooses the right words. "There are three people whose life I put ahead of my own. My mother. Alexis." He pulls away from her, his hands finding both sides of her face, cupping it gently in his embrace, as he looks intently into her eyes. Eyes that are brimming with tears. "And you."

Beckett's response shakes Castle to the core. "I don't want to lose you." She sobs, tears running freely down her cheeks. "I can't lose you." Her head finds respite against his shoulder, Beckett once again trying her best to hold on to Castle and not let him go. "Not when I finally got you back."

Castle can feel her trembling against his body, even though he has a fire going. Was Beckett actually afraid? He wraps his arms around her waist, trying to steady her, as he speaks. "I'm here, Kate. I'll be here for as long as you'll let me." His mother's advice comes flying back to him, on that night when Beckett had told him that they were over. "I don't want to waste another minute."

Beckett looks up at Castle, his eyes matching hers now as the tears begin to well. Her hand cups the side of his cheek, her thumb gently caressing the stubble now covering it. "Then let's not."

She leans forward slowly, her lips gently pressing against his. His mouth opens at her touch, sighing as his injured hand moves to the small of her back, his other hand now cradling the nape of her neck. Beckett follows in kind, her arms encircling Castle's neck, pulling him closer to her, their lips entangled in a battle they faintly remember all those nights ago.

But unlike that night, when the truth was buried under trepidation and cowardice, there's no mistaking the meaning behind this kiss. Their mouths hungrily find each other's again and again when they break momentarily to catch their breath. Their hands attempt to pull the other closer, even though their bodies are pressed against the other. They moan and sigh, whispering the other's name in reverie, neither trying to hide the pent up passion each has held in reserve until now.

They don't want this moment to stop.

They can't stop.

They want this moment to go on forever. Because neither of them wants to face tomorrow. Because both know that there'll be a time when this moment might not be possible, given Castle's deal with the devil. So, instead, they live for the moment. They live for today.

Because both realize that living for tomorrow is no longer an option.

Day 29, Hour 20, Minute 27:

His hand gently caresses her hair, her breath on his naked chest sending shivers down his spine. He can feel her arms adjusting about his waist as she shifts against the side of his body, her right leg entwining with his own. He can only see the top of her head from his current position, so he has no idea if she's awake or asleep. He could ask her, but the silence comforts him right now.

He runs his fingers through her hair, still marveling at the fact that he's actually running his fingers through her warm, damp hair. And, somehow, it still smells like cherries. He'd have to ask her about her cherry fetish one of these days. But right now, the smell puts him at ease. It had only been a couple of hours, but in that time, Castle explored her entire body, memorizing every curve, every freckle on her supple skin. He tells himself that it's the writer in him that's taking notes, but Castle knows better.

There's a chance that Beckett might change her mind.

Castle shakes his head slightly, trying to push the thought away, as his hand moves to her back, gently tracing circles with his middle and index finger. He looks back down to Beckett, her head nestled against his chest, and just watches her as he rubs her back. After a few moments, he sees that her breathing is steady, rhythmic.

She's asleep, he thinks to himself.

Castle stifles a small yawn, realizing that the weeks of troublesome sleep have taken their toll on him. Well, that, and the past two hours with the woman pressed against his side. However, with Beckett next to him, Castle feels as though sleep might not be a problem this night. He can feel his eyelids beginning to take on extra weight, as he feels Beckett's naked breast brush against his chest as she tightens her embrace.

Naked Beckett.

Castle smiles at the thought as he drops a small kiss on top of her head. He loves her. Heart and soul, he loves her. He'd do anything for her. Even die for her, if it came to that. But he doesn't dare tell her that. It took her getting shot for him to verbalize his feelings for her. And, as much as he's loath to admit it, his mother was right. He sure did have a hell of time finding the right words when it counted.

Sleep begins to envelop him, and he finds that he can no longer fight it. He's only been fighting it this long because he's afraid that when he wakes up, she'll be gone. But, he can't hold out any longer. So, as he begins to close his eyes, he whispers to her, even though he knows she's asleep. He whispers what Beckett truly means to him.

"I don't know how to be me without you anymore."

And then darkness.

But, if Castle had been able to maintain consciousness for a little while longer, he would have realized that he'd made a mistake.

Beckett drops a small kiss against Castle's chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly, as though she's afraid that he's going to disappear if she doesn't hold him as close to her as humanly possible. And, as she lays there in the darkness, next to her partner, his heartbeat reminding her that he's still next to her, she whispers her response.

"I love you, too."

Fin