Chapter 14

Roxas was lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was twelve thirty in the morning and he was in bed alone. His stomach did flips inside of him and regret washed over him. He missed Axel sleeping in the bed with him. The bed was too big for him. Too wide for the small guy.

"Axel, I miss you," he whispered into the darkness. Roxas rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep or dream or anything.

Swirls of colors and shapes floated around him. His eyes focused on each thing that moved, causing him to strain. Roxas quickly opened his eyelids and heaved a sigh. He clicked on the bedside table lamp and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"I cause so much drama. If I never met Axel, then Marluxia would've never done any of that. No one would be missing. Axel and Demyx wouldn't be breaking their backs trying to keep my safe. Maybe I should just go and never come back. If Marluxia finds me, then so be it," he said.

Roxas swung his legs off the bed and walked over to where Axel had thrown the notepad when he finished with whatever he had written. He torn the page out and stormed out of the room, leaving Roxas alone only a few hours ago. Roxas didn't feel like leaving the bedroom. Not even for dinner. Roxas felt his stomach growl. He picked up the disheveled book and the pen next to it. Roxas plopped down onto the floor and tapped the pen against his chin, thinking of something to write.

"Well, if I'm going to runaway, I might as well leave Axel a note telling him how I felt and all that cheesy crap you would see in movies," Roxas said. He began to start to jot down all of his thoughts and feelings about Axel. He wrote quickly, just pouring out his heart. I leave while Dem's still asleep and Ax is at work. That way I won't have to see both before I go and make this easier. Oh, I wish I could see Kairi though. She would try to reason with me before I left and I might gain some common sense, he thought as he worked on the last paragraph, telling them he was leaving.

"Dear My One True Love Axel,

Did you know you mean the whole world to me? The day I met you I knew I liked you. You were the only person other than my sister who would be willing to help me. I can't exactly fall in love with my sister, so I'm glad it was you my heart picked. There are so many things I wish I could tell you to your face. I love how your face lights up when you hear something you like. I'll keep that image forever.

Loving you is the reason I must leave. Ever since I met you I've caused pain and drama. None of us wouldn't be in this Marluxia crap if it wasn't for me. I caused everyone's suffering. No longer can I bear to see the anger and ache in your face. It hurts me too, you know? I'm leaving. Don't try to be a hero like you were when I was trying to run away from my problems the first time. I'll be long gone before you even read this. Try to forget about me, but I'll never forget you. Think of this as a break up. Just don't take it too hard. I love you Axel," Roxas read out loud. He nodded to himself and grabbed the letter and tucked it in his pants pocket. He scrambled back to the bed and pulled the blankets up to his chin. He turned off the light and closed his eyes, hoping to sleep.

O~o~O~o~O~o~O~o~O

Axel's phone beeped around six, telling him it was time to get up. Groggily, he sat up and held his back. It was so sore and stiff from sleeping on the uncomfortable sofa. Now he knew he Dem felt when he slept over. Axel yawned and rubbed his eyes. Birds were chirping outside on that somewhat chilly summer morning. He ran his hand through his crazy bed styled hair. The whole house was completely silent.

He walked out of the living room and down the hall to where Roxas slept. Axel pushed the door open with the tips of his fingers, trying not to make noise. Roxas was snoring rather loudly and his mouth was open, a bit of drool dripping down from his chin and onto the pillow. Axel chuckled at the adorable sight and moved to the dresser. He yanked open the drawers and sifted through all of the clothes until he found a pair of boxers and his work uniform.

Clothes in hand, he trudged out of the room, looking at Roxas sleeping as he left. He remembered the note he had written yesterday while Roxas was angry at him for a reason he regretted. Axel knew one day that joke was going to bite him in the ass and here it was, nipping away painfully.

He had left the note on the coffee table in the living room. Axel thought it would be a sweet idea to leave the note on the nightstand for Roxas before he left for a long, dull day of work. Sighing, he had to remind himself that Roxas wouldn't be waiting outside for him like he did when he was fourteen. Seeing Roxas happy made Axel happy.

In the bathroom, he quickly started up the shower and set his clothes on the sink's counter. The bathroom was fairly large and more modern than his one back home. Axel felt uncomfortable and shy inside the strange bathroom. Goes to show how much time Demyx spends at Axel's house rather going to Dem's.

When the steam filled the room, Axel undressed quickly and jumped into the rushing water. It warmed him up and Axel's muscles loosened up. Lately, he had been so cold. It was summer for Christ's sake. Why would he feel so icy?

I'm probably just getting sick. No more kissing for Roxas then, ha, he thought, laughing at his sad joke. Even if he was sick, he'd find a way to kiss Roxas. Axel was just that kind of guy.

Fifteen minutes later of washing and rinsing, he was out of the shower and slipping on his boxers. He hated being up so early and having to go work at a place he wasn't wanted. Axel desperately wanted to quit, but Roxas had already quit his job so no money would be coming in. Hopefully, when all the mess had been cleared up, he could get Roxas a job at the supermarket and make work actually enjoyable.

Axel finished putting on all of his clothes and used the towel to dry more of his hair out. He hoped that they had remembered to pack his hair dryer and gel. The spikes in his hair weren't all natural after all. He still had some of his spikes there, but the gel helped make them more… well spiky.

He tossed the towel into a bin on the floor along with his clothes and walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room. The note was folded neatly on the table, so he went and snatched it up. Axel held it in his hand tightly and took a deep breath. Hopefully, the letter came out exactly how he had thought it up and nothing was missing.

Back in his room, Roxas was still snoring and drooling. Axel shook his head and set the note on the nightstand in a way that Roxas would see it when he woke up. In the corner of the room, sat one of the smaller suitcases, yet to be unpacked. Axel walked over and unzipped it. Thankfully, it held all of their bathroom stuff. Sighing with relief, Axel pulled out his travel hair dryer and his little container of gel. Quietly he tip toed out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to do his hair.

Demyx was wide awake and was listening to the sound of Axel's hair dryer. He didn't sleep at all that night, but was up thinking. Zexion was stuck on his mind all night. He missed the way his hair swayed side to side with the slightest movement of his head. Demyx thought of how he used to sing this one song for Zexion and strummed it on his guitar as Zexi read a book.

"So come on get higher, loosen my lips. Faith and desire, in the swing of your hips. Pull me down hard and drown me in love," Demyx sang sadly to himself. Before he could stop himself, he was crying. Zexion had made it their song when one night they both started to dance to it. Demyx dropped the guitar and they sang together, knowing all the words and notes. They danced the night away, even after the song ended, feeling the beat they created with just the scuffling noise of their feet. Laughter echoed throughout the room and that was music to Dem's ears.

"Zexion, I miss you so much. And I can't wait to find you and love you all over again," he sighed, turning onto his side and closing his eyes. Demyx wasn't trying to sleep, rather he wanted to picture Zexion.

Axel was in his room again, sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his hand on Roxas' waist lightly. Ready for work, he still didn't want to leave Roxas. If he didn't leave soon, he was going to be late. Sighing, he leaned over to Roxas and kissed the sleeping boy's forehead.

"I love you and I'll explain everything when I get home," he whispered in Roxas' ear. Roxas grumbled in his sleep and Axel turned for the door. He looked at Roxas one more time, wishing he wasn't going to be mad later. The couch just wasn't meant for him. Axel closed the bedroom and took a deep breath and left for work.

O~o~O~o~O~o~O

Noon and Roxas was just waking up. His eyes were still half closed when he sat up. A quick rub of his eyes and he looked at around the room. Roxas' phone was beeping yet again, so he turned and looked at it. Beside his phone looked like one of papers from the notepad. He grabbed that and the phone. Sadly, Roxas didn't have any messages, rather the phone was dying. Grumbling, he tossed it to the floor, not caring if it broke or not. He opened the note and began reading…

Roxas, how could you ever think I didn't like you for even the slightest moment? Marluxia just likes to toy with you. You didn't believe me when I said it, so I figured writing it would work. Yet, the whole explanation would just take too long. So I dropped that idea quickly. We're going to talk when I get home. Rox, if you are ever in doubt about how much I love you, let me say it for you. Read this whenever you want. Roxas, I love you. Roxas, I love you. Roxas, I love you. I, Axel, love thee, Roxas. You are my life and I hope we never come apart. Soul mates? We've got to be something more. Think about all we've been through. How could we not love each other? God, I sound like a broken record, but I mean it. I. Love. You. Love yours truly, Axel, read Roxas in his mind. He bit his lip and brought the handwritten note and hugged it to his chest. Maybe he was dumb for thinking what Marly showed him was real. Axel was the only one who truly loved him other than his sister. Axel meant the world to him. And he was Axel's. But Roxas was going to break his heart. It was what he believed the only way to keep Axel out of danger. Axel always protected him, why couldn't Roxas be the hero for once? Even if this hero was just a coward.

"I must keep this with me. That way I can always remind myself Axel loves me no matter what," Roxas said, looking over the message again. He felt a twinge of regret sweep over him. Roxas hadn't even left yet and he was already regretting his decision. He let out a deep breath and walked over to the dresser. Opening the drawers, he tossed out random articles of clothing he knew was his. They landed on the bed in an unorganized pile. Before Roxas closed up, he grabbed one of Axel's favorite shirts. Bringing it to his nose, he inhaled the intoxicating aroma of Axel's natural smell. It was kind of an outside smell, sort of like the woods. Roxas could picture himself sitting on Axel's lap, resting his head in the spot between Ax's neck and shoulder, where he could feel at ease and the smell of Ax filling his nose.

"Surely he wouldn't mind if I take it. I could use it as an oversized pajama top," said Roxas, throwing it with the other clothes. In Roxas' undergarment drawer, he lifted all of the clothes up, hoping to see what he was looking for. He had kept a small envelope filled with money he had saved up over a few years in case of an emergency. Roxas figured he had at least three hundred dollars in there, enough for a night in a motel and bus fare to where he thought would be far enough.

Roxas took the envelope and walked over to the corner of the room. He grabbed one of the empty suitcases and began to pack up all of his things, folding them neatly so they all fit. When it was all packed, Roxas went to grab something to change out of his pajamas. He tossed his worn clothes for a pair of shorts and blue polo. Roxas slid the polo over his head, shaking his head when it went through. The envelope he figured he could just leave in his pocket. He tucked it away and pulled his shirt down over his pocket.

He remembered that he had left a note for Axel. Roxas looked through his worn clothes on the floor until he saw the corner of the paper sticking through. He set the letter for Axel on his bed, hoping Axel would see it when he got home. Sighing, Roxas took the handle of his suitcase and rolled it out of the room, as quiet as he could make it. If he woke up Demyx, then there was no chance of leaving. Roxas stopped by his door, just to see if he could hear the sounds of Demyx sleeping. When the snores and the occasional toot that escaped Dem, Rox knew it was safe to leave.

Roxas stepped outside, the sunlight blinding him. He shielded his eyes and closed the door swiftly. Stepping onto the well kept and vibrant green grass, Roxas took one last look at Demyx's house, but all he could see was Axel's apartment building. His real home. The image of the building changed into the worried and very upset faces of Demyx and Axel. Roxas could see tears in Dem's eyes and he tried not to see the other face, knowing he would just break down. Something inside of Roxas was telling him that leaving Axel would keep the both of them out of harm's way.

"Goodbye my love and my friend," he whispered, and he began rolling down the sidewalk for what seemed like an endless walk to the massive city. Roxas couldn't even look back anymore. He had made his choice. Whether it was good or bad, who knows?

O~o~O~o~O~o~O

A shiver ran down Axel's spine as he sat down to take a quick break. It wasn't cold in the employee's room, actually it was pretty warm in there. Axel glanced over his shoulder, checking to see if someone was behind him. Empty. He let out an exaggerated sigh and rubbed his temples. Work was hell and today was more unbearable. He didn't know if Rox was still angry with him. Thankfully, the other manager was showing up early so Ax could leave at two rather at three like he was supposed to. A bit of luck for him.

Axel checked the clock on the wall. It was one in the afternoon. He figured Dem and Rox were up already, trying to figure out ways to entertain themselves. Axel chuckled at the mental thought that crossed him. For some reason, he pictured Demyx and Roxas having a tea party. Demyx was dressed in a lilac tux, which did not flatter Dem at all, and Roxas was in one of the pinkest, frilly dresses he ever saw. Ruffles and lace was just everywhere. A big, hot pink bow topped Roxas' outfit. Why his brain decided he should've seen the funny image bewildered him. At least it kept him smiling.

There was a vibrate coming from Axel's pocket. He pulled out his phone to see a call coming from Demyx. Still laughing, Axel answered the call.

"What's up Dem? You caught me on break," Axel chortled.

"Roxas is gone."

Three words. Three words and Axel felt himself being ripped apart slowly.

Author's Note

That little part where Demyx was singing, I DO NOT OWN. The song is called Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson. AND HE OWNS IT. Sorry, had to add a disclaimer.

While I'm at it : I DON'T OWN ANY OF THIS

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