As Barbara sat there, head in hands; she knew one thing. She couldn't go through this again. Watching him fall apart and hoping that over time he wouldn't self destruct.

She pushed her chair back from the table. Judith watched her stand up. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to talk to him."

"Barbara, don't. You know what he's like."

"Yeah, well I'm going to stop him before he starts this time. Or give it a damn good try. I don't want you to lose him too."

Judith gave her a knowing look. So, Barbara conceded. "You're right. I don't want to lose him either."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When she returned to the ward Barbara found Tommy asleep in his chair. His head was tilted awkwardly to one side. He had to be exhausted to be sleeping like that, so she decided not to wake him. She found another chair in the ward, set it next to him and settled in to wait.

Tommy awoke several hours later when a nurse rolled a cart in to tend to Peter. When he moved to get up he felt a weight on his arm. He looked down and saw a hand, Barbara's hand. He sat back into his chair and stared at her sleeping face.

He was still staring thirty minutes later when the nurse rolled the cart back out. It roused Barbara this time and her eyes fluttered open.

She woke to find him staring at her. The look in his eyes made her heart ache. She couldn't help it, she took the hand she had rested on his arm and put it to his face.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered.

He closed his eyes. "Don't."

He pulled her hand away and stood up.

She thought that some sleep may have changed him. It hadn't.

"Don't." She repeated back to him. "Don't what? Care? How can I not? You think I don't have feelings?"

He moved to the end of Peter's bed. "Course not." He replied brusquely.

"Then let me help?"

"No, I've got this."

"Yeah, right…dealing alone worked so well for you before."

He gripped the end of Peter's bed tightly with his hands, but wouldn't face her again. "Get out."

"Fine. I'll go, but not before I've had my say."

Irritated, he rubbed at his brow and grumbled through a clenched jaw. "Then say it!"

She let him get under her skin. "God, you're a piece of work! Everything isn't about you! Everything does or does not happen because of you! This is not your fault!"

She watched him shake his head.

'You know what I just realized…You're not even sorry that Helen and your mother are dead. You're just sorry that you're not."

He turned on her and roughly grabbed her arm as anger reddened his eyes.

"How dare you!"

"How dare I? Because it's true...because you're afraid to live!" She blurted this out without thinking. She yanked her arm free. "God! Why hadn't I seen it before? You're afraid!"

He backed away from her accusation.

"You've always been afraid…of Helen, your mother…your responsibilities to your family."

A realization suddenly came to her. "You're even afraid of me!"

Tommy backed into the end of the bed and his knees buckled. He tried to support himself on the footboard but he slid to the floor.

Barbara walked over and kneeled down next to him, her voice breaking as she spoke her truths. "I don't care if you hate me after this…but you need to grow up and stop being so afraid. Your brother and your sister need you now. Not a week from now…not a month from now, or whenever when you decide to get over this self pity of yours. They love you and they need you now!" She reached out and brushed a lock of disheveled hair from his downcast eyes. "And so do I."

With that last admission, Barbara ran from the room, almost knocking over Judith on her way out.

When Tommy looked up in time to see her disappear around the corner; there were tears in his eyes.