A/N: I own nothing related to IPS.
He had insisted she sit down. He'd wanted her to go back out and ask for a glass of water. She did sit down. She'd had to decline several times to get him to shut up about the water. He acted like some old school gentleman, eyes twinkling as he gazed lovingly into the face of his oldest daughter, like he was just some normal dad.
Then he just talked. He told her stories about all the places he'd gone.
While he wasn't with her.
Sights he had seen.
He could've been seeing her too.
It was surprisingly easy to just listen to him ramble, to pretend he'd really been on some grand vacation instead of holding up banks all across the country. He was lucky the only sight he hadn't seen until now was the inside of a jail cell.
Her nerves were gone. She felt strangely calm and relaxed. She'd have to remember to tell Marshall.
"Mary…" James said slowly in his low voice, still smiling. "You have gotten so beautiful. You're just gorgeous."
She hated herself for doing it, but she grinned softly, her heart beating rapidly like it was caging butterflies.
"I don't feel beautiful," she said, still with that silly grin.
"Oh," James waved his hand in a no-nonsense way. "I have no doubt your little one will be just as stunning."
"Well…dad…"
That felt so weird. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually called him "dad" to his face.
"You know, I'm not sure I'm keeping the baby."
"Why not?" James furrowed his brow. He sounded so unaccusatory. As well he should.
"Well, I have a real dangerous job and…to be honest I don't really see myself as a mother. This wasn't something I did on purpose," she stated calmly.
"I didn't know your work was so demanding."
Why would he?
"I'm very busy," she explained.
And then she figured she might as well tell him. There was little harm he could do from behind bars.
"I'm a United States Marshal. I have been for over ten years."
He looked so proud. Mary wouldn't have been surprised if he'd started bawling with gratitude. But his unexpected kindness wasn't feeling so comforting anymore. It was starting to make her sick.
"I always knew you were strong," he proclaimed.
As if he had something to do with it.
"Daddy, how did you know I was having a baby? How did you find out?" she had to know. He had to have been awfully close to have glimpsed her without her getting a good look at him first.
"Mary honey, I never let you go. I thought about you all the time – talked about you to whoever would listen. I've always made sure you were okay."
So he wasn't going to tell her. Fine.
"But…is that why you came?" she prompted, not settling completely for his evasive answer. "Marshall-," she stopped herself and rephrased, "Inspector Mann – he spoke to you after you were brought in – said the reason you showed up in Albuquerque was to visit someone. Were you coming to see me?"
James looked at his hands, twiddling his thumbs and clearly considering his answer.
"I was thinking about it," he admitted. "I wanted to see how you and your sister were holding up."
"But you didn't," Mary reminded him at once.
"I waited too long and got caught," James shrugged. "It was a stupid mistake."
Stupid to get caught just for them. Just for them.
"How is Brandi?" James asked, his tone turning abruptly somber. "I worry so much about her. She never had your bravery, Mary."
Was this supposed to be flattery?
"Well, I should probably let Brandi give her own statement," Mary said, as though referring to a witness. "But she's fine."
And Brandi's face burst suddenly into her mind. And she remembered her dedication to Peter. Her concern over Mary. Her desperation to help her and be by her side. The way she sold more cars than any of Peter's other employees. Her smile and her girlish giggle – her sweet sense of humor.
And here James thought she was some weak little flower? Who gave him the right?
Who gave Mary the right? Guilt washed over her in a wave.
"She's more than fine, actually. I'll let her give you the full report, but she's engaged to a wonderful guy and she has a job she's really good at. I am so proud of her."
Mary never knew optimistic honesty could feel as good as pessimistic honesty. If possible, even better.
"You've taught her well," James nodded, as though this explained it all.
He didn't get it.
"Brandi's done well for herself. Mom too."
He didn't ask about Jinx. He just moved right on to something else.
"I can't tell you how happy I am to see you sweetheart," he leaned forward, extending one hand as though to take one of Mary's, but hers were in her lap. "No matter where I was or what I was doing, I never forgot you."
It was going to spill from her like poison. She couldn't stop. And she didn't want to either.
"No matter where you were? Like on the road, holding up banks? Building a new life with another family? Never bothering to see what happened to the rest of us – like when Jinx was evicted from our duplex when I was ten? You didn't come back to see if she'd fallen drunk on her ass leaving two helpless little girls behind."
"You were never helpless Mary…"
"I was seven!" she burst, standing up with her hands on the table in front of them. "I was seven years old and raising my own mother! You killed her when you ran out on us – she never got over it! And Brandi-!"
Mary raised a hand wildly, as though there were no words to describe just how badly he'd messed her up too.
"Brandi never even had a chance! You left her to a second-grader and an alcoholic mother! Oh, but I guess it's no wonder you worried how she turned out!"
Once she'd started, she couldn't stop. This felt good too. Almost better than the weepy embrace. And better in a much different way.
"Dad, you had another family! You lived your life as though we never even existed!"
"I didn't know you knew about that," he said solemnly.
"Oh yeah!" Mary raved, her eyes growing crazier by the minute. "Lauren showed up on our doorstep after your little accident with more of your half-assed letters! And Scott drained Brandi dry to feed a 'minor' gambling problem!" she revealed, her fingers forming air quotes. "But as long as you had fun on your little adventures, to hell with the rest of us!"
James shook his head. The gesture made Mary furious. What did it mean? His transgressions were beyond words? Beyond an apology or even some explanation she wouldn't accept?
"Tell me this," Mary leaned in, fighting the urge to smack him across the face. "Why now? Clearly, you couldn't be bothered to actually check up on me and Brandi, but you so selflessly drove all this way to at least watch from afar. So why? Your so-called grandkid? Is that it?"
Her burning desire to know was clouding her prying skills. She'd never wanted to beat the information out of somebody this badly, not even her most difficult witnesses.
"Honestly…" James began.
"Well!" Mary scoffed loudly. "That's a word I'm not sure is in your vocabulary."
"Don't get upset…" he continued.
"Upset?" she barked, throwing her hands up once more. "No – why would I be upset? Are you insane? You've only been gone thirty years, evading the law in the process, and – silly me! – I'm just supposed to forgive it all in two seconds because you decide you want to be a grandfather!"
There was pain firing through her abdomen but she scarcely noticed. It was nothing compared to the ache in her heart at getting this all out in the open. It needed to be done, but it still hurt in more ways than one.
"I thought I could make a fresh start, Mary," he mumbled.
"Well, you can't," she snapped sharply.
It was the first time she'd ever told anyone who admitted to wanting a fresh start that it was impossible. But if there was anyone incapable, he was sitting right in front of her.
"Mary, I wanted to know him. Or her…"
"In case your hearing vanished along with your mind – I don't know, maybe you missed this - but I am a federal marshal," Mary said slowly, as though he were five. "I would've turned in your ass before you could begin to get your hands on the kid. And like hell you are. He is going where you will never reach him."
Mary kicked her chair out of the way and strode around the table to the door.
"Mary…!"
James stood also and for the first time, Mary saw something in his eyes. It was only there for a fraction of a second, the smallest most miniscule flash. But it was guilt. For a mere moment, he was sorry he'd missed their years together. Sorry he wouldn't be a grandfather. Sorry his daughters had suffered for his mistakes. Mary had seen the same look in criminal witnesses. She knew how to spot it. But it usually happened the same way – there, and then gone.
"I love you," he whispered, his voice shaking.
Mary knocked on the door, signaling for the guard to come and let her out. She'd done it. And now it was over. A new wetness plagued her cheeks. She was trembling, but deep down she felt that fire she'd waited nine months to resonate again.
"I loved you too, daddy."
A/N: I hope this chapter lived up to its promise! Thanks for reviewing!