"You're Dr. Crusher," the Doctor says. Tom tries to stand in front of him - technically he isn't even supposed to be here but back as part of Voyager's systems, but the Doctor shoves Tom aside.
"Yes," Dr. Crusher says. "You're the Mark One?"
"I'm Voyager's Emergency Medical Hologram," he says, only a little stiffly.
"Doctor," Janeway says warningly.
"It's all right," Dr. Crusher says. "I don't work for the review board. Do you have a moment, Captain?"
"Sure," she says.
"Doc, why don't you go too. You're the most familiar with the Captain's medical records," Tom says. The Doctor nods and Tom deactivates him and hands the emitter to Janeway before she and Dr. Crusher step out into the hall. Everyone looks at Tom for explanation but it isn't his to give. "I'll ask Admiral Paris about the Xavier."
When he is finally alone, he sits on the edge of the narrow bed with his head in his hands. Getting home is not glamorous, he realizes, but a series of small tests. Eventually they will come to the point where this is better than the alternative, but right now it just seems like everything happening is designed to try his patience. Eventually, when Kathryn doesn't come back, he goes to sleep.
oooo
"Tom?"
"In here," he calls, hefting his bag back over his shoulder. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
She's waiting for him. They're a couple minutes behind schedule, but that matters more now than on Voyager where the schedule was just a way to try to make their lives seem normal. In the Alpha Quadrant, the schedule means the ship will leave without them if they don't pick it up. They hurry down the hallway, following the signs that lead to the correct loading bay. When they get there, Neelix and Seven are already waiting and Chakotay comes in a few seconds after they do.
"Remind me to thank your father for the passage," Neelix says. He's just as excited about Earth as anyone. To him, it's a new planet to see.
"Perhaps a nice greeting card," Tom suggests, wryly. An Ensign waves them through the portal.
Tom, Janeway, and Chakotay are all wearing new uniforms this morning and while perfectly functional, it feels strange. For the last seven years, Tom felt defined by red and black, but now they are in a sea of gray shoulders. The new jacket makes Janeway's shoulders look more broad and her waist even tinier. She doesn't say anything about the change, doesn't say anything about sleeping in separate quarters the night before. Only when they are in the Xavier's social lounge, settling in for the long ride, does he start asking questions.
"Are you going to tell me what Dr. Crusher had to say?" he asks.
"Do I need to?" she asks, sipping a mug of coffee. "You seem to have all the answers already, Lieutenant."
"Oh good," Tom says, leaning back. "I so wanted to begin this day with a fight."
"I'm not fighting," she says. "Just stating facts."
"Kathryn, you are many things but passive aggressive is not one of them and I like that about you, so will you please drop this and tell me what happened?"
"Lieutenant," she says. "We are in a public place on an unknown ship. Not only do I not want to share with you what my medical condition is, I'd appreciate it if you would refer to me by my proper rank."
"Yes, Ma'am," he says, through clenched teeth. She's smirks, totally enjoying herself. Chakotay and Seven come in and seat themselves at the table.
"Where's Mr. Neelix?" Janeway asks.
"Making friends with the natives," Chakotay says. "He got a few lower-ranked crewmen to give him a tour."
"Of course he did," Janeway says. She offers Chakotay her cup of coffee and he takes a sip. It took Tom a while to get used to her level of intimacy with her first officer. Chakotay is her best friend and while sometimes Tom wished it wasn't so, he realized early on that it was silly to fight it.
"Have you spoken to your mother yet?" Chakotay asks, handing the mug back.
"Not yet," Janeway says, glancing at Tom who furrows his brow.
"We have an hour before we have to do anything," Tom says. "Don't you think you ought to call?"
"Yes," she says, uneasily.
"Do you not get along with your mother?" Seven inquires.
"I get along with her just fine," Janeway says.
"Don't you think it's agonizing for her to know you're home but hear nothing from you?" Chakotay says.
"Fine, fine!" Janeway says. "I'm going."
But seated in front of a viewscreen on a borrowed desk in a borrowed room, Janeway hesitates. So much has happened. Where on Earth could she possibly start?
Gathering what depleted bits of courage she has left, she keys in the code that will ring her mother. Part of her hopes that Gretchen Janeway is not at home, that she will be forced to leave a message and that seeing her daughter's face will be enough for the moment, but Gretchen has been waiting for this call for sometime and answers rather quickly.
"Kathryn," Gretchen says, her eyes already filling with tears. "Is that you?"
"Hi Mom," she says, and is surprised to find her own tears rushing out as well. "It's me."
Gretchen looks older, but that goes both ways, Janeway knows. Her mother doesn't look bad, but she's completely gray now and carries more lines in her face. She looks tired.
"I knew you'd be calling," Gretchen says. "And I know better than to ask what has been happening but oh, my love, it is good to see your face."
"You too," Janeway says. "I want to come see you. We're going to reach Earth tomorrow and, if they'll let me, I'd like to come see you."
"I can come to San Francisco," Gretchen says. "The families, they'll be meeting your crew at... well, the first transport isn't supposed to arrive until the weekend, but of course you'd come first."
"San Francisco, then," Janeway agrees. "I'm going to send you the details."
"All right."
"Mom, there's... so much to say, but I don't want to do it like this."
"I know," she says. Gretchen reaches out to the screen with her fingers and touches where her daughter's face must be. "I thought I was never going to see you again."
"That's not my style," Janeway says. "Until tomorrow?"
"Until tomorrow."
oooo
When they step onto the planet, Janeway has to fight the urge to drop to her knees and kiss the soil. Chakotay, though human, isn't exactly from Earth and both Seven and Neelix has never seen it before. And while Earth is Tom's home, he had been happier on Voyager than on this planet, so Janeway feels somewhat isolated in her dizzying relief. Tom opens his hand on the small of her back just briefly. It brings her back to the moment. They are standing outside of the transport station in the heart of Starfleet headquarters and people are snapping their picture. This is news, this moment. Janeway plasters a smile on her face and the subtle hand disappears.
Just because they have been gone for some time, just because they were declared lost, doesn't change what happens now.
"What happens now?" Neelix asks, as if reading her mind.
"Bureaucracy," Tom says before she has a chance to offer.
"We have to change our status back," Chakotay says. "Register with headquarters that we are back on Earth and awaiting new orders."
"For now, they'll put us on leave," Janeway says. "And then eventually, we'll all be issued orders that will be, I imagine, to appear before a review board."
"When?" Seven asks.
"I'm not sure, exactly," Janeway says, squinting into the setting sun. Seven has a jacket with a hood to help hide her facial implants. She wears her hair down. Instead of her normal attire, she has replicated slacks and a blouse at the Captain's urging. Janeway doesn't know, exactly, what Starfleet will have to say about Seven but until that day comes, Janeway wants her to stay off the grid. "At any rate," she continues. "I'll be first."
"I have a house," Chakotay says. "I think Seven and Neelix should go there and wait it out. Until HQ officially demands their presence somewhere, no reason to stay here."
"Good idea, Commander," Janeway says. "Seven, take the Doctor with you." She takes the mobile emitter out of her pocket and Seven tucks it away. "This is Earth, and I do trust Starfleet but this isn't the same place we left seven years ago."
"The Dominion War?" Seven asks.
"That's certainly part of it," Chakotay agrees.
"We're a crew," Janeway says. "I think we should stick together no matter what until all of this gets sorted."
"Of course, Captain," Neelix says. She turns to him, puts her hands on his shoulders and gives him a smile.
"Neelix," she says. "Technically, Starfleet has no jurisdiction over you. You're not a member of the federation and the moment I relinquished command of Voyager, any role I'd bestowed upon you was considered terminated. If you want, you can walk away free and clear. Starfleet will probably want to speak with you. They'll probably summon you but you don't have to attend anything. If you want to disappear for a while, if you want to make your own way starting right now, I wouldn't hold it against you."
He brings his hands up to her wrists and pulls a very serious expression.
"I want to be where you are," he says. "I want to stay until I know my family is going to be all right." And then, he leans in and kisses her cheek.
"Thank you," she whispers.
"Okay, okay," Tom says. "Don't think I don't know exactly what you're doing here, Neelix. Break it up."
Everyone chuckles, and Neelix steps back with his hands up as if to say, 'you've caught me.'
"Go on ahead," Chakotay says. "I'll make sure they get where they need to be and meet you there."
As Tom and Janeway walk away, Janeway leans in and asks him something that has been plaguing her for weeks.
"Do you think Seven and Chakotay are sleeping together?"
"Yep," Tom says. "Where were you when we all figured that out?"
"I have no idea," she says.
oooo
Janeway receives her orders not via transmission but from a real human being. A young cadet with black hair and green eyes hands her a PADD and asks for her thumbprint in return. It is, after all, a military operation and ritual must be observed.
"What's it say?" Tom asks. They are in Starfleet temporary housing, which is somewhere between a very inexpensive hotel and a prison cell. Janeway is impressed they came so swiftly. She is dressing to go meet her mother - they have been planet side for only hours. Just long enough to eat, sleep, and shower.
Janeway has not invited Tom along, but when it is time to go, he offers to walk with her and she gratefully accepts.
"Two weeks, plus a week for medical leave," Janeway says. "It isn't long." Dr. Crusher had found a virus that the Doctor had missed. For now it was dormant but to remove it require a delicate set of treatments.
"You're lucky we found this," Dr. Crusher had said.
"How long before senior staff gets summoned?" he asks now.
"A month," she predicts. "Everyone? Three months."
"And then what happens?" he wonders.
She just shrugs. He is tempted to take her hand but he thinks she'd avoid it here in public.
"Babe," he says. "If you want me to disappear when your mom arrives, just say so."
"I want you to stay," she says.
"You want me to stay because you love me or you want me to stay because you're scared of her?"
"Both." No point in lying after all. Tom has learned to stretch and twist the truth less - Janeway champions honesty.
"Okay."
At the station, Tom still waits outside while Janeway goes in to meet Gretchen. Tom thinks they should have a moment , maybe two, alone. Tom stands by a retaining wall, leans against the cement and looks at the blue, clear sky. Birds sing, trees sway - it's spring in San Francisco. Janeway's birthday is next week.
Finally, the women emerge arm in arm; both look as if they've been weeping. Tom straightens up, tugging down the tunic of the unfamiliar uniform. Janeway flashes him a smile, a small token of reassurance.
"Mom," she says. "You remember Tom Paris?"
"Owen's boy," she says. "Why, I haven't seen you since you were... I don't know, six years old."
"Yes, Ma'am," he says. "How are you?"
"How am I?" she laughs. "How are you? You and Kathryn were on that ship for... Goodness, aren't you glad to be home?"
"Yes Ma'am," he says, smiling. "Captain Janeway fought hard to get us here."
"Mom," Janeway says. "Tom and I are..." She struggles for a moment and glances at him.
"Engaged," Tom says, softly. Janeway's eyes widen for a moment, but she doesn't argue.
"Engaged?" Gretchen says, looking at her daughter for confirmation. "You and Owen Paris's boy are engaged?"
"Yes," Janeway says.
"To be married?"
"Mother."
"Yes Ma'am," Tom says, grinning.
"You're going to marry Owen Paris's boy?" Gretchen says and bursts out laughing.
"What?" Janeway asks.
"Your father is positively spinning in his grave right now," Gretchen says, wiping her eyes. "I've never seen a grudge like Eddie had for your father, Tom."
"I see," Tom says, uneasily.
"But I have no grudge," Gretchen says, taking Tom's hand.
"Thank you," Tom says.
"Now," Gretchen says, facing her daughter. "Let's go get something to eat and you can show me the ring."
"Ahh," says Janeway. "No ring yet."
"No ring?" Gretchen asks.
"We had rations!" Tom says. "I... and Kathryn is so hard to... you know, rations."
"I see," Gretchen says.
"Mom, let's go to lunch. We can talk about it more. I mean, there's so much to talk about so let's go. That deli you like is still just a few blocks away," Janeway says.
When they are seated, Gretchen takes the ring off her finger and holds it out to Tom who is sitting next to Janeway across from her.
"Take it," she urges. Tom does as he is told. "Eddie gave this to me when I was 22. It belonged to his great-grandmother. It wasn't replicated, it was made by human hands. I think Kathryn should wear it."
"Mom, that's your wedding ring," Janeway says.
"Now it's yours," Gretchen says smiling.
oooo
"I love your Mom," Tom says, happily. They are in bed in their small, crappy rental.
"Me too," Janeway says, drowsily. It's late and she's half asleep. Still, he can see the ring on her finger in the low light and the sight fills him with something warm. "But you know, just because you panicked and jumped the gun-"
"Jumped the gun!?"
"Doesn't mean we're getting married tomorrow," she finishes.
"I didn't jump the gun and I didn't panic! You panicked, Kathryn," Tom says. She sits up, never a good sign.
"You were the one who didn't want to get married right away in the first place," she points out.
"I didn't want to marry you because it would appease Starfleet, I didn't want to marry you because my dad told me to," he says. "I didn't want to marry you because some asshole with my face said it was supposed to happen."
"Well," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I do, however, want to marry you because I love you."
"Well." She says it again, but her tone has changed from defensiveness to sounding almost pleased.
"Good," he says, pulling her back down against him.
"My mother is going to try to get me in a white dress," she whispers. "But I won't have it."
He chuckles.
"Why not?"
"I'm too old for that now," she says. "I just want to wear a dress uniform."
"What do the new dress uniforms even look like?" Tom wonders. She laughs into his skin.
"I have no idea," she says. "But it's gotta be better than a while dress."
oooo
"Lieutenant Paris?"
Tom looks up to see a pretty dark-haired woman lingering in the doorway. He stands to greet her - even if she didn't outrank him, he would have stood.
"Yes," he says.
"My name is Deanna Troi," she says. "I'm the ships counselor."
"Yes, Ma'am," he says.
He has been aboard the Enterprise for just under twelve hours. He and Janeway have traveled to the flagship to begin her treatment. Technically they are still on leave and until that leave has ended, the federation will, for the most part, leave them be. Janeway believes they are using this time to sift through Voyager's data and prepare an attack. That's how she sees it, anyway. She thinks she has bent the rules too many times and now she is about to face the music. Tom doesn't believe this is the case. He agrees - Starfleet is probably going over every detail with a fine-tooth comb but not to condemn anyone, but to understand.
It is odd how Tom has, lately, become the optimist.
"Dr. Crusher asked me to wait with you," Counselor Troi says. "I believe the procedure is going to take some time."
"She told me it wasn't very dangerous," Tom says.
"I don't think it is," Counselor Troi agrees. "Just time consuming to locate... well, to tell you the truth she explained it to me, but I don't really know what she's doing."
"Me either," Tom says, smiling.
"Have you been aboard the Enterprise before?" Counselor Troi asks.
"No," he says.
"Let me give you a tour," Troi says. "It really is a spectacular ship. It'd be a shame to spend all your time in this waiting room."
"I just... I want to be there when she's..."
"I know," Troi says. "You will be."
He follows her because she seems kind and in charge and he is so, so worried.
"She really is going to be all right." Troi sounds certain. "Dr. Crusher is a wonderful doctor, you know."
"So I've been told," he says. They move easily through the ship. The ship itself is enormous, but she doesn't even glance at the walls when they pass display panels. "Where are we going?"
"Ten forward," she says. "You look like you could use a drink."
"I'm okay," he says.
"Really, you don't have to worry," she says.
"Why do you think I'm so worried?" he probes as they step onto the turbolift.
"I can tell," she says, as if sharing a secret. "I'm an empath."
"Ah," he says.
"But even if I couldn't, I am a counselor and I would still know," she says. They step off the turbolift and she takes off down the hall so he follows. "This is ten forward."
"It's..." he says as they go through the doors. "Your mess hall?"
"You could say that," she laughs. "What can I get you to drink?"
"Coffee," he says. "Black."
"Sure," she says. He looks around at all the unfamiliar faces around him, a variety of species but all native to the Alpha Quadrant. He didn't think he was going to see such a sight again, at least not as a young man.
Troi sets a mug of coffee in front of him. She has what appears to be hot chocolate.
"Thank you," he says. "So, Counselor Troi. Tell me what else I'm feeling."
Her laughter is tinkling, like small bells and her eyes crinkle delightfully when she smiles.
"That's cheating," she chides. "Besides, this isn't an official session. I'm just keeping you company."
"Company," he repeats.
"Oh, all right," she says. "Perhaps I ought to confess. I feel as if I know many of the Voyager crew already. Or rather, know someone who feels like they know you."
"Now you've lost me," he says.
"Reg Barclay? The one who started the data streams," she says. "He used to be stationed on the Enterprise."
"Right, right," Tom says. "He used holo-recreations of the crew to... I read that anyway. There's all these news articles about Voyager now. Most of them are not accurate but there's a lot of the story we didn't know. The parts that were happening over here. Kathryn... Captain Janeway, I mean, doesn't read them. She's probably better for it."
"Reg is a good man. He simply has unorthodox methods," she says. "And anyway, the media has to write about our side of the story, as the details of yours haven't really been released yet."
"Captain Janeway..."
"Kathryn," Troi supplies with a smile.
"She goes into her first debriefing in a little over a week," Tom says. "I'm sure the truth will start to rear it's head before too long."
"I'm sure," she says.
"It was nice of Captain Picard to put off your next mission for us," Tom says.
"Dr. Crusher has his ear," Troi says. "And I believe Captain Janeway and Commander Riker are old friends."
"Really?" Tom asks.
"From the academy," she says. "As Will tells it, she stood him up once."
"They dated?" Tom asks.
"Not successfully," Troi points out. "And anyway, the rumor is that Captain Janeway has recently become off the market."
"It's a small quadrant," Tom says. "News travels fast."
"That's what has her worried," Troi says. "Going before the review board with a ring from a subordinate on her finger?"
"Feel free to cut right to the chase," Tom says.
"Sorry."
"No, it's okay," Tom says. "I think that's one of the things she's worried about, but I assume it's the tip of a dauntingly large iceberg."
"Captains are delicate creatures," Troi says. "They tend to shoulder inhuman loads."
"It took years for her to open up to me and even now, I only get bits and pieces," he says. "Anyway."
"You want the rest of the tour?" she asks.
"Sure."
oooo
Janeway wakes up slowly, feeling sluggish and groggy.
"Hey."
She can hear Tom but doesn't feel like opening her eyes just yet. She just wants to go back to sleep.
"Kathryn, wake up," Tom says again. "It's okay."
She's just so tired. She feels a cool hand on her forehead.
"Will Riker is here to see you."
She opens her eyes, and looks around quickly.
"Ha! I knew that'd get you," Tom says. Behind him, Dr. Crusher snickers. "Yeah, I learned all about that."
"It meant... nothing," she manages to whisper. She clears her throat.
"How do you feel, Captain?" Dr. Crusher inquires.
"I'm fine," she says, struggling to sit up. Tom helps her. She pushes her hair back from her head. "Am I going to make it?"
"You were never not going to make it," Tom says.
"The virus is gone," Dr. Crusher says. "When you're well enough, the Captain would like to see you."
"For what reason?" she asks.
"Well, he didn't say," Dr. Crusher says. "But I can only imagine he'd like to talk about the Borg."
"The Borg," Janeway says. "Jean-Luc Picard wants to talk to me about the Borg."
"When you're well enough," Tom says.
"I'm well enough now," she says.
"Wait a second," Tom says, blocking her escape with his body. "You need to rest."
"I need to get dressed," she says.
"You're not going anywhere quite yet, Ma'am," Dr. Crusher says in a voice that is all business. "If you'd like, I'll alert the Captain that you're awake and you can have your meeting here."
"Fine," she says. Dr. Crusher moves away and Tom leans in.
"Seven?" he asks.
"Captain Picard is one of the only other people who has been assimilated and lived to tell the tale," Janeway says. "I have no idea what is going to happen with Seven but he may be able to help."
"You forget yourself," Tom says. "Tuvok. B'Elanna."
"Not the same," she says. "Yes, I had all the machinery, but I was only under the influence of the collective for a few minutes."
"Still," Tom says. "Kathryn, I'm serious. You need to take it easy. You're going to have plenty of time to talk about the past in the next couple weeks. Please use this time to rest."
"I have my whole life to rest," she says. "I won't be able to rest until I know the fate of my crew."
He holds up his hands. This fight can quickly become long, ugly, and unsolvable.
When Captain Picard comes in, Tom is still by her bedside but he straightens up to attention at the sight of the legendary Captain.
"Kathryn," Picard says, smiling. "It's good to see you again."
"You too," Janeway says, sitting up. "Thank you for letting me use your facilities."
"Any time," he says.
"This is Lieutenant Tom Paris," she says. "My helmsman."
Picard looks at Tom, his brow furrowed. Captains don't generally take their Conn officers around on personal missions but either Picard can read between the lines or doesn't care because he doesn't ask any questions.
"I'm sure your father is happy to have you home, Lieutenant," he says instead.
"Yes, Sir," says Tom.
"Beverly says we can have a talk here," Picard says. "I'll keep it brief, for now, but I was hoping we could talk about your experiences with the Borg."
"Would you like me to..." Tom points at the door but Janeway touches his wrist lightly. It tells him he can stay.
"Captain," Picard says. "While your means of returning to the alpha quadrant is not yet widely known, it appears you have dealt a crippling blow to the Borg."
"Borg activity has gone down?" she asks.
"We cannot even locate any Borg activity at all. Even our ships that are out on the deepest space missions have not reported a single sighting. It appears, Captain, that you've cut off their means of getting into the alpha quadrant at all."
"For now," Janeway says.
"Yes," Picard agrees.
"Captain," Janeway says. "There is another matter I'd like to talk to you about. One more delicate, one I think you will understand uniquely."
"Oh?" he asks.
"There is a member of my crew who has a somewhat uncertain fate at the moment. While Starfleet must know about her, they haven't yet asked me anything or demanded that I produce her," Janeway says.
"I don't understand," Picard says, simply.
"Her name," Tom jumps in, "Is Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One."
"A drone?" Picard breathes.
"A human," Janeway corrects. "A human girl."
"I'd very much like to meet this girl," Picard says. "Where is she now?"
"Arizona," Janeway says. "For now."
"On Earth," Picard says, rubbing his chin. "Well, that would delay us even further and take us exceptionally off course."
"You want to go to Earth just to meet Seven?" Tom asks. "But how will you convince Starfleet?"
"You know, at this point they pretty much just let me do whatever I want," Picard says. He laughs like he's kidding, but everyone knows he isn't. "I'll head us in the right direction. Captain Janeway, when you're well, you'll come find me?"
"Of course," Janeway says. When he's gone, Tom turns to her.
"How long until you get to do whatever you want?" he asks.
"A long, long time," she says, letting her head fall back against the biobed. "A long time."