Hello again. Just have to say that I adored this week's episode "Where the Boys Are". I actually loved it, and it is one of my favorite episodes. Well, this is chapter 14. Thank you everyone who reviewed, and everyone else that read the story. I don't know what you all will think about this chapter, but I will just let you read and review as always. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter XIV – Back

A new day in Seattle. But it wasn't as happy and sunny as most people would want it to be. Izzie and George didn't like to sleep in the house while they didn't know if Meredith was alive or not. And they didn't like to be at the hospital and not knowing there either, which was a problem, because nobody knew what was going on at the Pink Motel. Alex sat down on the bench in the locker room and Izzie sat down next to him. He leered at her and cleared his throat.

"Heard anything?"

"No." Their sighs filled the silent room with a feeling of hopelessness. But when the door opened, the all had to sharpen up and see who was in the doorway.

"Rounds, people." Bailey met their eyes and took a deep breath. She left, and the interns followed. They first went to a patient with a brain tumour. The patient was a woman in her thirties, who had her husband by her side at all times. They both looked hopeless, though the husband tried to cheer his wife up by smiling at the doctors who entered the room and at her. A strange looking doctor told them that she was going to operate this morning, and when Alex was the one to answer the most of her questions, he got the case. The neurosurgeon handed him the chart and smiled.

"Welcome to the case, Dr. Karev." She left the room, and Bailey followed. Alex smiled at the patient and watched as the other interns followed Bailey. The next patient was the famous plastic surgeon. George presented the case, and the strange looking neurosurgeon was standing next to him. They all felt strange because of the new surgeon, and didn't really know why she was everywhere. Mark looked exhausted, which he was.

"Dr. Sloan is recovering from gun shot in shoulder and leg, and is supposed to be monitored while on morphine." George ended his presentation. Mark looked around.

"For the pain, not the pleasure." He attempted a cocky smile.

"Dr. Sloan, I am Dr. Garrison, and I am covering for Dr. Shepherd."

"It's nice to see you again Kate." Mark smiled at her and she smiled back.

"It's been a while, Mark."

"Does Addie know you're here?"

"No, I will go find her now. I'll check on you later." She patted his arm gently and smiled widely. Then she smiled at everyone else in the room before she looked over at George. "This case is yours, Dr. O'Malley." George smiled a small smiled and then followed all the doctors out of the room. Dr. Garrison walked away, and Izzie and George watched her go further down the corridor.

"This Dr. Garrison is everywhere." Izzie looked at George when he said this.

"Well, Dr. Shepherd was everywhere. Maybe it's something with neurosurgeons." They shrugged and followed Bailey to the nurses' station.

"Okay, O'Malley you heard Dr. Garrison, you're monitoring Dr. Sloan. Though I don't think he would have any problems, you will keep an eye on him today. Stevens you're with Dr. Burke. Get to work."

"Uhm, Dr. Bailey?"

"Yes…" She didn't sound happy about George asking her something when he was supposed to be off already.

"Have you heard anything?" She sighed and looked at both of them.

"No, and nobody has. I'm sure you'll know when we hear something and until then I want you to do you're jobs. We're short as it is. A new neurosurgeon and short with two interns. Why does everyone have to make my job so hard?" She mumbled the last sentence while she left them standing in silence. They looked at each other and then got to work.

"Any news, Patricia?"

"No, sir. Only Ellis Grey's doctor called again, and said that she's stable so they confirmed the transport." Richard sighed and closed his eyes.

"Thank you, Patricia."

"No problem, sir. I'll let you know when they get here." She smiled and left his office. He sat down in his chair and heard someone else enter the room. Bailey cleared her throat.

"Chief?" He turned to her.

"Oh, Miranda." He cleared his throat. "How can I help you?"

"Well… Any news sir? I have three very anxious interns and a new neurosurgeon down there, so I was just wondering…"

"No, nothing." Bailey nodded and the silence between them was disturbed by Richard's cell phone. He picked it up and saw Derek's number. He looked at Bailey and she nodded and left the room. He answered and heard a tired voice on the other end.

"Shepherd? What's going on?"

Derek sighed and left the motel room.

"We watched her all night, and the fever is fading away. I think we can drive her to the hospital now."

"Well, you should've gone there in the first place." Derek sighed and nodded.

"I know that. I know, chief. Trust me, I know." Richard heard his exhaustion and felt bad for pushing it.

"Well, okay. Take her here. Ellis is stable, so the hospital is going to transport her."

"Okay. We'll see you soon."

"Good. And Derek?"

"Yes?"

"Good work." Richard tried to make him feel better, but it didn't help. Derek knew he'd screwed up when he hadn't brought Meredith to the hospital directly. He had risked her life.

"Yeah… Ok. I'll call later." They hung up and Derek went in to the room again.

Cristina was trying to keep herself awake, and had been through the night. Meredith was fast asleep and had actually stabilized, though it had been critical at some times.

"Can we finally get out of here?" Cristina stood up and went in to the bathroom to wash her face. Derek nodded.

"Yeah." He walked up to Meredith and sat down next to her. He caressed her hair and that made her open her eyes slowly. The headache was gone thanks to the medicine she had gotten. She looked at him and smiled a weak smile.

"Hey…"

"Hi." Derek smiled, and Meredith yawned a little. "Meredith…" He whispered slightly and Meredith listened to his soft voice while she closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for this. It's all my fault, and if I hadn't been so selfish, you wouldn't have been in so much pain." Meredith opened her eyes and looked at him. He met her eyes and saw the confusion in them. He knew he should explain more, but right know he just had to apologize so that he could go on with the day. Meredith looked in to his eyes.

"But I'm okay now, right?" Derek heard the confusion in her voice and nodded and smiled. Cristina was watching and listening from the bathroom.

"Yeah, you're okay." He got to his feet. "I'm just going to take some air." He turned around, and met Cristina's eyes before he walked out of the door. Cristina walked up to Meredith.

"Hey." Meredith looked at her, while she tried to sit up. Cristina helped her by putting a pillow behind her head.

"Hey…" Meredith answered and looked at the door and then at Cristina, who had put a chair next to the bed and sat down with her feet on the bed. "Where are we anyway?" She wasn't at all cured or anything, and she knew that herself, because she felt the weakness in her movement and in her talking, but if she was going to compare it to the night before, she would say that she felt much better. Cristina laughed a little.

"We're at the Pink Motel. It's a very nice motel, chosen by our one and only Dr. Shepherd." She opened a candy-bar and started to chew it while looking around in the room. "It's not bad actually." Meredith looked at her.

"But I don't understand. Why are we here?" Cristina avoided her eyes. She didn't want to answer that. She didn't know what his reason was exactly, but she was guessing that he had been so scared that he had to be right next to her and heal her because of all his mistakes before. But, it was just a guess. "I… need some air. You know, we've been sitting in here all night without any action, so…" Cristina got to her feet, and Meredith watched as she went to the door. "You should drink something." She said with her mouth full of candy. Meredith nodded, and Cristina left the room. Outside she saw Derek leaned to the wall. He noticed her when she was two steps away, and looked at her with surprise. She watched him closely. "Nice motel you picked." Derek sighed. "I just want to know why. I have my suspicions but…"

"Dr. Yang, we should get moving." He started to walk towards the room. Cristina glared at him. The man from yesterday came walking towards them.

"Hey." Cristina looked at him and then at Derek who had turned around to met the young man once again.

"Oh great…" Cristina sighed and walked up to Derek with an angry look on her face. "He's all impressed with you. Tell him what a great surgeon you are who takes his sick girlfriend to a motel instead of a hospital." She walked past him and in to the motel room. The young man smiled and saw how Derek just stared on to the ground.

"Hi, I'm Neil. I just wanted to know how that girl is doing. I helped carrying her to the room, and that other woman told me not to call an ambulance, because you were coming. So I just wanted to know if she was alright now." Derek looked at him and smiled one of the fake smiles he had learned to give when he really wasn't in the mood.

"She's okay now. Thank you for your help." He nodded and turned around. Meredith saw how he entered the room with a sad look on his face. Cristina was packing the medicine bag and didn't notice him. He smiled at Meredith.

"So, we should get going. I'll drive you to the hospital." Cristina sighed and looked at him.

"No, really, Dr. Shepherd, I think I should do it." Derek looked at her.

"What is your problem?" Derek looked at her, and was trying to figure out why she was this mad at him.

"What is my problem? You jeopardized my friend's life just so that you could satisfy your fear of loosing her again." Meredith was shocked by those words and all the yelling between them. She looked at Cristina with surprise. She had never seen her this upset by such a thing before. "Did you even think about the possibility of death before you chose a motel over a hospital?" Cristina glared at Derek, and had all these things she wanted to say right to his face. Why not hit him a little too. "Or did you just want to heal her yourself? You know, to make up for all the other mistakes you've put her through?" She didn't want to feel like this. All emotional and stuff like that. But she couldn't hide it any longer. She had been scared to death, and then Derek tells her to take Meredith to a motel instead of a hospital, which didn't help. The night was rough, and she had thought that they were going to loose Meredith several times. She could've died, but that wouldn't have happened if she had taken Meredith to a hospital. Now the anger and the fear did all the talking.

Derek looked at her with sad eyes. Everything she said was right. Though he didn't want it to be true, he knew it was. And when he finally heard it from someone else, not just his own thoughts, he realized exactly why he had brought Meredith to this place instead of a hospital. He realized that every word that Cristina stung him with, was absolutely true. Meredith watched him closely, and saw that he opened his mouth to say something. But he changed his mind, grabbed his car keys and met her eyes.

"Your mother is getting a transport to Seattle Grace, so you can see her when you get there." He swallowed, and leered at Cristina. "Call me if you need anything." He smiled fast at Meredith and then turned to face Cristina, who kept on staring at him. She had pushed him down with her words, and though she saw that he was devastated, she didn't regret it.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse, or an elephant. Something big…" George sat down with his tray in front of him. Izzie sat down next to him, and Alex too. They all ate their lunch in silence. George ate all the food he could get in to his mouth, while Izzie and Alex just like poked in theirs. Burke walked towards them, and that was the only time someone looked up from their trays.

"Stevens, Mr. Orson has agreed on surgery. I want you to prep him for surgery in an hour." Izzie nodded and smiled.

"Yeah. Sure, Dr. Burke."

"Good." He hesitated before he left them to silence again. Alex shook his head slowly.

"You get to scrub in, and I get to help the strange new surgeon. She's crazy." George and Izzie stared at him. "What?" They shook their heads slowly and Izzie kept on eating her lunch. George had already eaten up so he began to drink his juice. "I bet Sloan slept with her too." George stared at Alex when he heard those words.

"Just because he knows her, doesn't mean…"

"I think it does." Alex nodded and smiled slightly. Izzie sighed.

"Is that all that fits into your brain, Alex? Sex, and only sex. I think you and Sloan has something in common." Alex laughed a little but stopped and stared over George's shoulder. George got nervous and thought that he had done something wrong.

"What? I haven't done anything…" Izzie followed Alex eyes and saw Derek inside the hospital. Alex got to his feet, threw his tray in the trash and walked in. George watched him leave, and then noticed Derek too. They looked at each other and followed Alex example.

Derek walked towards the elevator, but turned around when he heard someone call his name.

"Dr. Shepherd." Alex ran up to him. "Where is she? Is she okay?" Derek was a little surprised that Alex was the first to ask, but then he saw George and Izzie come up right next to him.

"She…" He hesitated. The interns could all see the sad expression on his face, and held their breaths. "She survived the night." He nodded and gave them a confirming smile before he walked away again. Alex watched him leave and George and Izzie looked at each other.

"She's okay. Meredith is okay." Izzie smiled and nodded. Alex leered at them and then left.

After changing in to a new pair of scrubs, Derek made his way to the chief. Richard let him in to his office and Derek told him that Cristina and Meredith were on their way there. Richard told him which room Ellis had been taken to, and when they had talked enough, Derek left the room. The sad expression hadn't faded away when he met Addison in the corridor.

"Derek, are you okay?" Derek smiled a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded to convince himself, and Addison saw that something was wrong. She put a hand on his arm and met his eyes.

"I heard about Meredith. Is she going to be okay?" Derek looked away but nodded.

"She is." He smiled at her and then walked away. Addison watched him leave, and wondered why he was so sad, when Meredith was going to be okay. But her thoughts about Derek faded when she heard a familiar voice call her name.

"Addison Montgomery Shepherd." She turned around and saw a small dark haired woman in a lab coat coming her way.

"Kate?" Dr. Garrison smiled a wide smile and they hugged when she reached her. When they pulled apart they both were smiling. "I can't believe this? Why aren't you in Chicago?"

"I was just visiting, and then I heard about Mark. And then I was called in to cover for Derek. Where is he anyway?"

"Oh, he's just… We aren't… He had an errand to run." She smiled slightly, and her friend looked at her suspiciously.

"What's going on Addie?"

"Well, it's no Shepherd in my name anymore. And my affair with Mark isn't the only one to blame." Kate was shocked. She had thought Derek and Addison's marriage was the ideal of a perfect marriage. But so much had happened since she left for Chicago.

"I'm so sorry, Addie." She heard her pager go off, and looked at it, before she sighed and smiled at Addison again. "You have to tell me everything. Like old times." She smiled at her. Addison smiled too, and remembered when Mark, Derek, Kate and herself used to be best friends.

"Yeah… I'm just going to check on a patient, and then I'll meet you for lunch, okay?"

"Yes, that would be great, Addie. I'll see you." She smiled and walked away. Addison took a deep breath and started to walk towards Mark's room.

"Get a gurney!" Bailey told one of the nurses. She walked up to Meredith and Cristina. Meredith took support from Cristina to stand up and tried to look as she was healthy enough to walk in herself. But she felt the weakness in her knees and Cristina grabbed her before she fell to the ground. "Stupid." Cristina just nodded at Bailey and saw how the nurse came running with a gurney. They helped Meredith to get on it, and then walked with her in to the hospital. Meredith was exhausted after the ride here, and of course because of everything that had happened. She fell asleep once again, and was asleep when they put her in her room. Cristina and Bailey left and Bailey stared at her. "Go get cleaned up, we need you to cover the pit." Cristina nodded and ran away to the locker room. On the way there she met Derek in the corridor. He stopped walking and she just looked at him. His expression asked if everything was okay, and Cristina nodded to assure him that Meredith was fine. Her anger against him wasn't gone, but she tried to hide when she saw the relief in his eyes. She looked away and opened the door to the locker room.

Derek didn't know if he was up for a visit at the moment. He couldn't stop hating himself, and knew that that feeling wouldn't get any better if he saw an exhausted Meredith. He started to walk, but didn't get very far. He bumped in to someone around a corner and when he saw who it was he was shocked.

"Derek Shepherd. I heard you had an errand to run."

"Kate? Kate Hughey?"

"Actually it's Garrison now. Got married last year." Derek smiled at her and gave her a warm hug. Kate smiled at him and backed a step to see all of him. She put each hand on his arms and smiled. "You haven't changed much. Except for that sad face. I heard about you and Addie." Derek nodded and looked at the floor.

"It was time. We went through a lot, and it was just time." Kate nodded.

"It's sad though. I thought you two were meant for each other. Even when we were together, I thought that you and Addie were the better match." Derek was surprised and raised an eyebrow at her. She just smiled.

"I didn't know that."

"Well, I didn't tell you. But when I did break it off, you found your happiness with Addie, so I was right." She smiled widely, because she saw how his expression changed when she said that. He nodded and took a deep breath. "But anyway. I saw Mark." She tilted her head. He just nodded it off. Kate took a deep breath, this wasn't going to well. Catching up with him wasn't one of the easiest things. "And I covered for you today, so I think you owe me lunch."

"Really? Well, I actually need to…" He hesitated a little and she looked at him questionably and waited. Derek had to see her. "… see someone first."

"I can wait while you see this someone." She smiled and was about to leave. But she gave him one last glance. "Oh, and Addie will be joining us too. I'll see you later." She leaned up and kissed him on his cheek. Kate was short and had always been the shortest of them. Derek watched her leave, and realized that he really had to see Meredith.

The door to her room opened and a man walked in. She couldn't see his face but understood who it was by his body. Alex walked up to her bed and saw that she was awake. Meredith sat up and Alex sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Hey, Alex."

"Hey." He sounded relieved by her voice, and so he was. He had been wondering if she would be talking at all when he got in here, and when she did, he understood that she was fine. "I was just going to see how you were doing. And when you're coming back. Bailey is putting us up with your work." Meredith smiled.

"Well, I can't stay here. These rooms are just too depressing." Meredith looked around in the dark room and Alex eyes were still on her. Meredith met his eyes and saw something in them that hadn't been there before.

"I…" Alex was interrupted by a knock on the door. Meredith hesitated a little when she saw that Alex was disturbed by the interruption, but Alex knew it was for the best.

"Come in." Meredith said, and Alex got to his feet. Izzie and George walked in and smiled when they saw that Meredith was awake.

"Hey, you." Izzie walked up to her and gave her a hug. Meredith made a weak attempt to hug back, but Izzie pulled away. "Oh, sorry, did I hurt you?" Meredith smiled slightly.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine." She leered at Alex, but he avoided her look.

"Good." George smiled at her and sat down in the chair. Alex took a deep breath before stepping forward.

"I have to go. Dr. Garrison goes crazy if you don't obey her." He nodded at them and walked out of the room. Izzie and George watched him leave, and then shrugged.

"Alex has been acting very strange when you were away. I mean, he's only made one stupid sex comment the whole time."

"Really." Meredith looked at them and thought about Alex look when he had been trying to tell her something. She didn't know what it was, but it felt like it was serious. George pager started beeping, so he got to his feet.

"I have to go too. I'll come back later." He ran out of the room and bumped in to Derek on the way. "Sorry, Dr. Shepherd." He smiled slightly and kept on running. Derek kept on walking towards her room and knocked a few times on the door. Izzie looked at the door.

"You get a lot of visitors, huh." Meredith sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I do. Come in." The door opened slowly and Meredith looked straight in to the visitor's eyes. Derek met hers, and Izzie saw the doctor in the doorway. She got to her feet and smiled at Meredith.

"I will just… you know. I'll see you later." She smiled at Derek, before pushing past him and leaving the room. Derek looked down on the floor and closed the door behind him. Meredith watched as he walked up to her bed with her chart in his hands. He was here as a doctor. Great, she thought and cleared her throat a little while he moved closer. He opened the chart and started to read. He had no idea what he was going to say to her, and Meredith got annoyed by his behaviour. She grabbed his wrist and that made him look at her.

"What are you doing?" Meredith didn't sound angry, it was just a question. Her weak and tired voice made Derek sharpen up. He put down the chart, and Meredith pulled back her hand. He looked at her and she met his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Meredith. You can't imagine how much I hate myself for what I did. What I have done. And what I know now is that I don't deserve you. And I never have. You should be with someone who won't hurt you, and who will take care of you no matter what. I want to be that guy, but I realize that I am not. So, I was just going to check on you, because I am your doctor. And that's what I am doing. Being your doctor." He swallowed nervously but didn't stop looking in to her eyes. He attempted a small smile, but Meredith shook her head slowly and took a shaky breath. Derek saw how she began to avoid his eyes, so he took the chart and walked towards the door, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing.

"Why?" Her voice was pleading for an answer and he couldn't do anything but stop and turn around. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to say that everything was going to be okay. But he had just said all the things that kept them away from each other, so he couldn't take it back. Meredith tried to read him. She knew he didn't want to do what he had done. But she had nearly died, was he about to leave her to recover by herself. She did have her friends, but he was different. She felt safe in his arms, and that's all she wanted and needed for the time being. "Why are you doing this?" Derek swallowed slightly and walked up to the bed again. He sat down next to her and Meredith looked at him. She tried to hold back the tears, but failed. She was weak and tired, which didn't make it easier to try not to cry. Derek saw the tears, and had done the last thing he wanted. To make her cry. He hesitated, and opened his mouth many times to say something. But he didn't know what to say. His expression was as sad as before, and maybe even sadder. Meredith stared at him, while a tear or two slid down her cheek. "Derek…"

"You have to understand…" Derek tried, but saw how Meredith closed her eyes.

"But I don't. Before, we said we would try…"

"I know, but… I…"

"What? Because you drove me to a motel instead of a hospital?" Derek closed his eyes and shook his head slowly.

"That's not the point. I risked your life to save mine. I jeopardized your life, to make up for everything I have done to you. I wanted to save you, but by making that choice, I took the chance of you dying. And when you add that with everything else I've done… I just don't deserve you, and I can't live with hurting you ever again. I think you should go on with your life. Make a clean start." He attempted a smile once again, but saw how she desperately shook her head.

"I don't want that. I want you. I can't do this without you…" She sat up and grabbed his lab coat with her tiny fists. "I can't…" The sobs and the tears made her body shake. She took a harder grip of his coat, and closed her eyes. "Please." She opened her eyes, just to see his sad and caring ones look straight at her. Derek couldn't stand seeing her small body shake of sobs. He put his arms around her and held her tight. She relaxed a little, and moved her hands to grab his coat while he held her. Meredith didn't want to let go, not ever again. Derek knew he had done the right thing by telling her to start over. But this wasn't the right time to do the right thing. He felt whole when he had her near, and nothing could ever change the fact that he needed her to stay alive.

Okay, so. What did you think? As always, I try not to doubt the things I write, but I end up doing just that. But it goes away after a while, especially when I get reviews. I will just keep on writing and just go with it you know. And I'll try to do that as fast as I can, and then update so that you can read and review more. I really hope you like this story overall. Thank you once again for everything. So please write a review and tell me what you think. Until next time, bye.