"Hows it going kiddo?" Addison smiled in her daughters direction. She softly bent down to her knees and held her arms out in mid-air, waiting, wanting, needing to feel her daughters small frame wrapped in the protective shield of her own.
"Mummy!" Lou yelled, realizing her eyes were not lying to her, it was her mother. She ran, feeling as light as the air she was breathing in swiftly, until she hit the arms of the woman she had secretly wanted to hug for her whole life.
"Haha," Addison laughed at her little girl's excitement and joy. "Seriously, what's up?" Addison asked.
"I don't know," Lou replied, not letting her head leave the shoulder that it was resting on. Her arms wrapped round the woman's neck, squeezing tightly.
"What's wrong?" She asked, smiling at the happy child.
"Why did you leave?" Lou asked innocently. Her whole life up until now had been plagued with abandonment issues purely because of her mother and now she wanted the answers that haunted her dreams. Lou felt the urge to cry, the feelings of doubt and pain slowly draining out of her body as slowly a single tear dampened her eyelashes and spilled over her cheek.
"Shhh," Addison comforted. Lou couldn't stop her crying from taking over control of her body. Her jerky body movements slowed to a stop as her mother's arms ran up and down her back in a bid to cease the crying.
"We all miss you," Lou said quietly and simply. Addison smiled and finally let go of Lou, knowing she wasn't going anywhere.
"I miss you too," Addison told her.
Lou could barely look her mother in the eyes in fear of loosing her again.
"Where am I?" She asked.
"Well, I can't really tell you that, only you have the final say in that matter," Addison told her. She sat on the open patch of concrete and Lou sat gently in her lap, enjoying the company of her mother, not wanting to let go. "All those years ago, I went out to get something for you kids for breakfast. When I was walking home a man took me, like the man who took you this evening."
Lou looked down at the painful memory.
"But you never came back," Lou bitterly said, her tears were still spilling over her Derek-like eyes. Addison couldn't stand the look of pain and anguish.
"I tried baby, but he took me somewhere that no-one knew about and then one day he left me there and I ended up here," Addison attempted to explain to her young child. She looked confused to say the least.
"I don't want you to be here though, I want you to be with us," Lou said, naïve to the true circumstances she was in.
"Well, maybe so but I certainly don't want you to be here," Addison told her, pushing her off her lap so she was looking at a standing Lou.
"Why not? You don't love me?" Lou's look of desolate distress made Addison well up and all she could think of were her five children and Derek, how much she just wanted to hug and kiss each of them, to have Derek hold her one more night in their bed as through the night, each child would cautiously join them after having a bad dream.
"You have to go back to where you were, it may hurt but it will get better," Addison told her daughter.
"I don't want to go back, I want to stay here with you," Lou sobbed, dropping her head back down to her mother's shoulder, feeling her red waves in the low sunlight.
"You can't stay here with me," Addison told her. "You'd never see your brothers or sisters or Daddy again. With me, I'll just be in your head ok? Whenever you need me just think about me."
"I need you all the time," Lou said, through gritted teeth and much in the same way Derek would have if he was angry.
"You can't have me all the time," Addison told her. "Go back."
"NO," Lou screamed, wanting to be with her mother, not wanting to admit that she was going to leave her.
"Lou," Addison held her tiny wrists in her hands before she could escape and run through the open factory yard.
"I HATE YOU," Lou screamed, resisting the urge to lash out at her mother. She mustered up all her strength in resisting her mother's grip on her wrists, wriggling them around, stamping her feet, her face contorting into different expressions in her bid to become free. The hope of becoming able to run away diminished and instead Lou collapsed into her mother's arms. She was scared and in disbelief that her mother didn't want to keep her safe and with her forever.
Addison started letting her daughter's frame loose in her grip.
Lou tried to look up to see her mother's face but she had disappeared and without her mother's body supporting her, Lou fell to the ground on her back, her eyes gazing up to the suddenly dark sky.
"Mummy," Lou yelled in hope.
"Lou," she heard Meredith's voice in her head. Lou could only move her eyes and nothing more. She looked around and saw distant flashing lights cirlcing around on the concrete she felt beneath her.
"The ambulance is here but can't get through the press," an officer gave the victim's carers an update.
"Emily, honey," Derek said, "Keep talking, you're doing great. Is she back with us Mer?"
Meredith nodded in response to Derek's question about Lou. Her attention wasn't on Lou though. None of this mattered if the ambulance couldn't get through. Meredith hated the press with a passion. She never spoke to them unless she had to and this was a time for speaking. Cautiously, with Derek's eyes on her, she slowly rose with the megaphone in her shakey and bloody hands.
He watched as the megaphone drew closer to her lips and a click indicated to the world's press that she would be speaking. Lou and Emily below her were whispering gibberish to Derek to keep themselves alive and time was running out.
"Hi," Meredith said, not in a joking manner but more ironic about the situation. "So, I know I don't talk to you guys very often and you probably think that this is just a desperate attempt to grab some publicity but it really isn't."
Although her voice had started out soft and sweet, the emotions of anger towards the people causing such devastation on her soulmates family had caught up with the vocal chords.
"If you really want to know what is going on down here then I'll explain. There are two little girls who are bleeding to death and need to get to a hospital a.s.a.p. Their father is a doctor but can't do anything until we get to a hospital. The only means of getting to the hospital safetly is with an ambulance… of which is blocked by all you guys and your stupid cars. I'm going to ask you once nicely to all move your cars and get out the way before I make you."
The threatening manner in her voice made Derek see that although she wanted people to perceive her as tough, she was as good as she was awarded at acting. The world didn't see what he saw. The world saw the exterior of Meredith Grey and as his blue met her green, he could see the fragile and vulnerable Meredith that clearly wanted to break down in his arms and cry to her heart content.
"Thank you," He murmurred, knowing how much guts it must have taken for her to address an angry mob of papparazzi.
"Are they both still with us?" She asked about the girls.
"In and out but they just need to get to the hospital and get some blood pumped into them, especially Lou," Derek answered, still murmurring as more tears threatened to spill from her act of love.
"Everything is going to be fine," Meredith told him, placing a reassuring hand on his bare shoulder.
The next day, Meredith went to the hospital after spending just 2 hours away from it. How could she leave them after what they had been through together? Visiting hours were well and truly over but as Derek worked at the hospital, he was allowed special access and therefore that allowed her special access.
"So, what are all these kids names?" Christina asked Meredith, who was beginning to think Christina was not the best person to bring for emotional support.
"You've spent time with all of them, you should know," Meredith whispered in an exasperated manner.
"Yeah, you're going to have to do better than that cos I barely remember McDreamy's real name," Christina said.
"The two little girls who are hurt are called Emily and Lou. Lou is the cute, little one and Emily is the eldest. Alex is the older boy and Jacob is the younger boy. Maya is the one who will be running round the room flipping out from excitement," Meredith explained the family.
"Riiight," Christina said, pretending she cared.
"The papers know more than you do about this family," meredith quipped, knowing Christina didn't give a rats ass.
"Hi," Christina said to Derek, walking in and shaking his hand.
"Hi Christina, nice to see you again," Derek said, catching eyes with Meredith and letting her and only her see the sparkling glint of joy in his eye show.
"What's new?" Meredith asked as she leant over and he pecked her on his cheek.
"Nothing much," He said as he gratefully received the kiss and grabbed hold of her hand, making her sit down on his lap as he lowered himself into the chair.
"Where are the kids?" Meredith asked, very aware of the hushed noise. Lou and Emily were fast asleep, one recovering from an orthopedic and spinal surgery and one recovering from a spleen removal surgery after having internal bleeding.
"Dr Burke took them out for lunch," Derek smiled as Meredith's small body pressed against his, her back to his chest, his arm snaking round her waist and her head resting in the crook of his neck. He could smell lavender on her and grinned at the memory of the hottub.
"Fancy," Meredith said.
"Not really," Derek said. "He took them to the canteen."
"Oh, how adorable, I'll go say hi to the little angels," Christina yelled out to the couple's surprise. She rolled her eyes and went in search for the Dr Preston Burke of which as an intern, she had only heard good things about.
"Was that sarcasm?" Derek asked, chuckling to Meredith.
"Wow, your quick," Meredith smiled.
"And again, with the sarcasm. You two make quite the sarcastic couple," Derek teased about her best friend.
"Whatever," Meredith couldn't think of a decent comeback.
"They're both recovering fine, probably be tired and asleep for the next couple of days but should be up and about and completely back to normal in a few weeks. Emily will have to wear crutches," Derek anticipated all of Meredith's questions before she had a chance to even ask them.
"Good," Meredith said. She sat perfectly content enveloped in his frame.
"You know, the first time she ever walked was on the beach," Derek reflected quietly to Meredith, staring at Emily's resting form on the bed. "She was 16 months old and had just started talking. Addison was lathering herself in suncream as per usual and had just finished doing it to Em. She looked like a little white ghost in a nappy and a pink sun hat covering her eyes and I looked at her and said 'who's my little angel?' and that's when it happened. She lifted her arm out towards me and found it not to be close enough so simply moved her feet in my direction."
Meredith smiled at the perfect memory that seemed to be imprinted on his mind. He started to laugh.
"She was always a mummy's girl. Whenever she was ill, tired, angry, upset, happy, she went to Addison. Everything was about her mother but that one moment… that was all I needed for her to let me know that she loved me just as much… of course, she fell over after two steps and started laughing," Derek ended on a light-hearted memory.
Meredith's eyes were welling up from Derek's recall of such an early memory and she couldn't find any words fitting to break the silence so she didn't. She simply turned around in his arms, her hands snaking their way to the back of his neck playing on the soft curls there and smiled whilst getting lost in his deep pools of ocean blue.
So, little bits of fluff... okay well the whole thing was one huge fluff ball really but i felt the story needed some relief from all the angst and what not. OK, i was going to kill Lou off but since you guys seem to love the lil girl, and i have to say- it's fun writing her- i decided not to be harsh.
I'm glad you all seem to like my ridiculously long authors notes... i enjoy writing them purely cos my special talent other than sarcasm is the ability to RAMBLE! but seriously- im ecstatic about the amount of people still reading... so dont loose hope yet. i just want to point out that chapters 11-13 was not the climax of this story.
Special thanks toooooooo:
TCF, desecretperson, sam, shell36799, merlovesder and skye3 for reading and reviewing the chapter 13 i posted like a month ago and removed cos it was too confusing. hope you guys liked the new one better!
and toooooo...
ABSENT HEART (happy?! i onlyt write my thanks in order of which i recieve reviews! Don't throw a tantrum CD, mamma cant handle it right now!)alexandizzie4eva, Lou, hugeGAfan, Dilly0702, azgwest, greys has become my life, JainaZekk621, jellybelly12, Kilikina1, 2SeXy4MYsCRUbS (i knew someone loved my long notes and your worth the mention!) Endzi, Leash, GreysAddict21, karensmith, ga-4-ever, kml57, WATTERS
xxxExxx
please read, enjoy and review. i need some cheering up due to recent events! reviews (although are not the solution to the problems) can completely help!