Chapter 14

"Robbie, look honey I need you to slow down I can't make out a word of what you are trying to tell me."

He rubbed his eyes wearily as he paced around his study as he sought for the right words to perfectly summarise this situation he suddenly found himself.

"You know Cat Valentine?"

"Your old friend Cat Valentine?" she asked perplexed, "The one that could have been the stab victim. What about her Robbie?"

"Yes her." Robbie sighed, "Well she's in town and she hasn't got anywhere to stay so- em she is going to be staying with us for a while."

"Wait what? She just showed up out of the blue like that?" she asked perplexedly, "How long would she be staying for?"

"Not that long." He promised, "Sofia I couldn't say no to her… she's my— erm she is my oldest friend and I want to help."

"Look I'm not mad Robbie." She said calmly, "It just took me by surprise that's all. I mean we have the room and if it's only for a while it's not a problem."

"Did I mention that Cece and I can't wait to see you?"

"No you didn't but it always helps." She murmured, "Anyway Rob I have to go I'm heading out to dinner tonight with the clients so I have to mentally prepare myself to pretend I care."

"Alright well we will talk soon."

"I love you."

He jumped when he glanced up and saw her curled up like her namesake on the chair on the other side of his desk. She was staring vacantly out of the glass window, her hair acting as a curtain, shielding her from anyone being able to read her face.

"Rob?" Sofia asked, "Have I lost you?"

"No yeah sorry!" he apologised quickly, his throat suddenly hoarse, "Yeah love you too."

He softly dropped his phone on the desk and exhaled heavily as he collapsed onto his deckchair. She gave him a small smile as she played with the cuff of his old Hollywood Arts hoodie that he had let her borrow. He hated how… tense everything seemed with her now. How he, couldn't even tell his wife that he loved her without worrying about sparing her feelings.

"You shouldn't sneak up on me like that." He told her, "I told you to wait in the lounge."

"I don't like being on my own." She muttered through her hand which was currently clamed to her mouth as she chewed furiously on her nail, "This place is too big and quiet… it makes me jumpy."

"Everything makes you jumpy." He noted grimly, "Cat I need you to-"

"Do you remember our first date?"

That question took him by surprise. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and rocked back on the chair, trying to appear coy as he responded.

"Yes how could I forget you puking into a bin because you just had to ride the rollercoaster after that meal." He smiled slightly, "Great date right?"

"You spent the entire time laughing at me cause I insisted on walking around with my hand covering my horrible mouth until you bought me some mints." She recounted, "But even then you still kissed me goodnight. It was perfect."

"Cat." He closed his eyes as he tried to keep control of his emotions, "What is this about? I feel like we are just stuck in a loop."

"It was just the best day of my life." She mumbled, "That's all."

He rubbed his temple and looked away, not knowing how to respond to that. He didn't really know how to talk to her anymore. She used to be the one who would speak without a second thought, she would rant and rave until finally someone, usually Jade; would snap at her to shut up.

Now she only seemed to speak in riddles.

"I need you to tell me what happened fifteen years ago Cat." Robbie demanded, "Now."

She took a shaky breath, "It's so shameful."

"I have to know Cat." He said soothingly, "It's me. There isn't anything you could tell me now that would ever make me hate you."

"Do you promise?" she asked him, "Do you swear that if I tell you this you won't hate me? I couldn't take it if you hated me Robbie. It would be easier to leave again than have you despise me."

"I promise." He reassured her as he braced himself for the worst.

"It started when I was fourteen." She began, "My dad he was a lawyer so we used to have all these dinners at our house with his associates and clients. One night he brought home one of his clients and—well I became enamoured with him."

It hit him hard, like a blow to the stomach. He had always thought, spent eighteen years fooling himself into believe that what he and Cat had was a real, true first love… but that wasn't the case for her at all. He pressed his lips together as she stared at him for an indication to continue. He gave her a small nod, because even if was going to hurt. He had to hear it.

"It was exciting at first. He would send me gifts with times he would collect me. I would leave school early and we would go to his apartment. He was ten years older and ridiculously wealthy and I was naïve. It was such a rush sneaking around from my family and friends." She sighed, "But then I started to get tired of how we could never go outside and be seen in public. How I was just one of his many other girls… and you asked me out to an actual place and I realised that I was living this stupid fantasy with him and we weren't anything real… So I ended it with him."

"You ended it with him?" he said slowly, "Was this before or after our date?"

She fiddled with her fingers awkwardly as she stared at her lap, "after."

"Did you sleep with him?" he questioned, his pulse quickening, "Did you lie to me about being a virgin?"

She sniffed noisily, her eyes welling up, "With you everything felt so uncomplicated and real. I just- I regretted the whole thing and you never openly asked me, you just assumed and I didn't want you to think of me in a bad way so I just let you believe what you wanted."

He was on his feet before he had fully registered, pacing the room and he let her words actually sink in. Robbie had always known that Cat Valentine was a fantastic actress, but he never thought when he ever had sex for the first time, she was just putting on a show of being this nervous wreck who was experiencing the same thing as him.

"You are a fantastic liar." He muttered bitterly, "Honestly I don't know why I'm surprised."

"You promised me you wouldn't hate me!" she retaliated, her voice thick from the tears that where leaking from her eyes, "Robbie I never meant to hurt you. I just- I lied. It's the only thing I am good at! No one was allowed to know that I was having an affair with one of my dad's clients, especially not you. I didn't love him."

He scoffed loudly, "You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true!" she exclaimed, "At the time I thought I did. But it wasn't until you took me out on that date that I realised I didn't love him. I felt different with you, like I wasn't having to hide who I really was and you didn't judge me and you weren't condescending. You felt safe and I—I haven't lost that feeling. That's how I know it was real."

"So this man why is he so important."

"Well when I broke it off." She continued, "Well I'm not very good at the difficult conversations so I chickened out and I just sort of- ended it by leaving him a voicemail."

"Very classy." He interrupted, "Although it's more than I got."

"He didn't like that I broke up with him. He sent me all these... horrible messages about how I would amount to nothing and I was just a silly little girl who was only good for one thing. I thought no more of it, then we became a thing and everything was perfect. It was just too perfect to be true."

"So he harassed you?" Robbie asked, "Why didn't you just say?!"

"I tried to!" she responded, "He was always around then, always over for dinner… he cornered me one night and said he wanted me back. That he didn't mean all those things that he said and that he wanted me to go away with him. That we could leave and be happy."

"Is that what you did?" Robbie demanded, unable to control his anger, "He knocked you up and you left with him!"

"No!" she shouted back, "Is that what you think of me?! I told him no. Told him I never wanted to see him again and that I loved you and wanted to be with you, to live the normal life of a teenager with him."

"I'm guessing he didn't take no as an answer."

"He harassed me. Plagued me with texts and he used to wait outside Hollywood Arts for me to leave. He was… obsessed with me. He wouldn't give up on this notion that we were meant to be together. He started sending me these messages, even when I changed my number he would find a way to get it a way to get the message to me. He threatened to leave my dad's business and we needed him. He was the only person saving the business. He would make comments about how nice I looked in whatever I was wearing and when I looked up I couldn't see him. I felt so violated… but I couldn't say anything."

"Why not?" Robbie said, "Why not come to me, or Jade or your mum. Or even the police! Cat you were a minor and you were being harassed."

"Because he knew about you!" she told him, "He always had eyes on me and one time I was outside the police station about to go in and this message arrived on my phone. He was outside your house, I could see you in your room… studying. I felt sick to my stomach, he wrote to me that if I stepped foot into that police station he would go up to your door and put a bullet through your skull."

He grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace as she shook and sobbed into his shirt.

He placed a kiss on her forehead, "You should have still went to the police."

"I couldn't risk it." She sobbed, "You weren't allowed to die because of my mistake."

"So you ran." He concluded, "Did you think he would chase you?"

"It's not just that Robbie." She muffled, "I ran because... because I went to meet with him and I was going to lie and tell him I wanted to be with him. I foolishly thought that maybe he would stop tracking me and then I could go to the police and save you. But then I couldn't have sex with him, I didn't want to at all, he was a poison and I didn't even want to touch him. But he- he forced me."

"He-." His throat was so dry and he was certain she could feel his heart beating against her chest, "He raped you."

"I couldn't bear to look at myself." She wept, "So I left and then I found out about Mai—about the baby and it just made everything worse and he couldn't know about her—she had to be safe. She was the priority. You and her: always. I had to hurt you. You couldn't come after me. He would have just followed you."

"Oh Cat." He said as he tried to stop the tears as he pulled her closer, "My poor Cat."

"We're not safe." She told him, "You can't be around me Robbie."

"You aren't alone." He told her, "You have me."

"Always."

"That's a stupid question." He told her, "You've always had me."

Answers: You are all welcome.

Thanks for reading xo