JPOV~*

Run faster, Jacob. Bella…. No no no. Come on Jacob, wolfy thoughts. Alright.

Trees, meat, speed, fur. Bella….

DAMMIT.

I left Forks one whole week ago and every thought, every touch; everything that I had hoped to fade away in this form was still probing into my mind as strong as ever.

So what was I supposed to do? I wasn't entirely sure.

Ignoring these feelings, these burning mental images, was almost as impossible as forgetting her scent. Her warm, delicious, Bellaish scent. NO. Stop.

God. How could one girl affect me so much?

I hated her. But I loved her.

I ran, the wind and rain zinging through my fur as the forest whizzed past me at full speed. I had barely eaten or slept. I didn't want to give the memories a fresh chance to fester, to totally infect my brain. When I ran, it was almost not as bad. Almost.

Jake. Hey Jake I know you can hear me.

Seth. Great. What could he want? Oh yeah I know, to tell me more about the Edward-Bella love fest going on back home.

Actually, yes. I'm sorry Jacob. But I thought it was best that you knew.

Ohhhh why did people feel the need to fill me in? Wait let me guess: They're pregnant!

I felt Seth mentally wince. It wasn't fair to take this out on him.

It's alright Jacob, I understand.

The problem was: he didn't.

Everyone kept saying that. "Oh Jakey, it will all be okay."…"Don't worry, we understand."

NO YOU DON'T. No one understands. So STOP SAYING IT.

…Maybe this isn't the best time. It's just that Edward wanted me to convey a message to you.

Of course he did, I thought back.

Yeah soo. Uhm. Here it goes…

Seth let his mind go, preserving Edward's words in perfect clarity.

I wish I could be telling this to your face, Jacob, but it seems like Seth is the best I can do right now. Bella and I would like to announce that we are going to be wed on August 13th of this year. Soon, yes I know, but we feel that having it soon will be best. You have been a humungous part of Bella's life, and she would very much like you to join us at our wedding, as would I. I do not, however, want you to feel obligated to come; it is your decision to make. But it would mean the world to her.

My throat swelled and I could feel the fire building up in me. I didn't know what to say.

The last thing I wanted right now was for Seth to be in my head.

I phased, my body exploding with a fiery force. It felt weird to be in my skin, and not my fur. I stood, naked, somewhere in the middle of the Canadian woods. I don't know why, but I started to run as fast as my feet would carry me. My body itched for my other form, but I just couldn't handle someone knowing all my thoughts right now.

How much more could I go through until I couldn't take it anymore? Physically, I was perfect. But in my mind, deep down in its spongy tissue, I was being pushed closer and closer to the edge of that cliff.

And I was bound to fall soon.

As I ran, I screamed, letting all of my thoughts drain out of me. I didn't want to think anymore, I didn't want to feel. My body tightened and I shook back into my furrier form, only too thankful that my mind was silent.

I wasn't going back for the wedding. I let Bella and Edward and Forks and life fall to the ground behind me. I was too young to hold all of this on my shoulders. What had I ever done to deserve any of this? I was innocent. I had only loved a girl, one stupid, selfish girl, and now I was living with it. I didn't ask for any of this. No girl is worth this pain. She's like that stupid little bunny with the drum. She just keeps hurting me, and hurting me, and hurting me. And it just keeps on going.

I can't do it forever.

And as I speed through the trees, I realized that for once since the whole time I've known Bella I am actually glad that she is not mine.

BPOV~*

The wedding was only a few weeks away. When I tried to visualize myself in a white dress walking down the aisle I practically started to hyperventilate. I was too young.

"Oh Bella, but we're in love. That's all that matters." Edward had said when I had conveyed my nervous thoughts to Alice.

Love. A feeling I didn't think I would be feeling at the naive age of eighteen. But Edward was right, we were in love, and I knew that that could be enough.

Unfortunately, not everyone felt the way we did.

"WHAT? YOU'RE 18 ISABELLA."

Charlie's eyes burned into Edward's. He flailed his arms in the air dramatically and his face turned purple.

"Dad, I'm…we're ready."

Charlie laughed sarcastically and his eyes widened.

"Bella, you wan't an example of young love? Look at me and your mom for God sakes!"

I hate when he compared me and Edward to him and Renee.

"I'M NOT YOU." I stood up, and in the corner of my eye I started to see Edward stand up too.

"Bella, please, take a seat."

Charlie looked at Edward with his I'm-going-to-kill-you face.

", if I could only say one thing,"

Edward smiled warmly and Charlie's eyes bugged out of his head.

"I love your daughter more than anything in the whole entire world. Without her, I would be nothing. Bella is young, but the way I was raised has taught me to hold on to a good thing when it comes along,"

Edward smiled at him and even Charlie couldn't resist Edward's charm, he sat defeatedly into an armchair.

"She's one in a million, and I truly do love her. I want to make it official. So, Mr. Swan, do you give me your permission to marry your daughter?"

Charlie huffed and stood up. He rubbed his forehead with his hand.

"Okay! You guys win. Marry her, Edward. But Bella,"

I looked up.

"You have to tell Renee. I want nothing to do with that."

I squeeled and stood up, jumping into Charlie's arms.

"Thanks so much dad!"

"Mhm."

I let the warm water rain over me as I vacantly stared at the tiled wall of the shower. I hated having alone time. Alone time meant that I had time to think.

The memory, still so strong in my brain, pricked against my skin. Big hands pulling at my thick hair and warm quick breath tickling my neck. Jacob I moaned, biting my lip. Bella he breathed back. His lips pushed against mine, sweat rolled down the tip of my nose and onto his. The muscles in my stomach clenched, and I called out his name once more. His eyes rolled back and his mouth parted slightly. I love you we both whispered into each other's mouths.

Knock, knock, knock

I jumped, and I felt like a kid that had just been caught doing something bad.

"Bella?" Edward called from the other side of the bathroom door.

I shut off the water and grabbed a towel from around the shower curtain.

"Come in."

Edward entered the bathroom and smiled tenderly at me.

The guilt set in.

"Sorry to have interrupted you Bella," He looked at me and raised his eyebrow. "Well, not too sorry actually. Do you realize how beautiful you are?"

I laughed.

"Yeah okay Edward."

He smiled again and sat himself up on the bathroom counter.

"Alice wanted me to tell you that all the invitations have been received and that everyone is coming."

I nodded.

"You came in here to tell me that?"

Edward shrugged.

"I really just wanted to see you."

I smiled.

"Oh Edward, such a charmer."

He got off the countertop and ghosted up to me.

"So you're going to be fresh now, hmm? We might have to do something about that."

I giggled as he pulled me into his arms.

"You wish Edward Cullen."

He looked down at the towel covering me and sighed.

"Soon you'll be my wife."

I bit my lip. His words made my stomach flutter, but in a good way. I rested my wet head against his chest.

"Yes, and soon you'll be my husband."

He squinted his eyes and looked down.

"Edward, what is it?"

He looked back at me.

"I told Jacob about the wedding."

Ugh, Jacob.

"And?"

Edward shook his head.

"I don't know what the result is. Seth told him, but Jacob didn't say anything back. Seth said he wasn't in a great mind frame when he told him."

"So, he's not coming?"

He took a breath in.

"I'm so sorry Bella, but my guess would be no."

I didn't know how that made me feel. I thought I was over it, but deep down, I still cared.

"Well that's fine," I said exasperated. "He's a big boy; he can do as he chooses."

I knew I was acting like a stubborn little child, but I didn't care. Edward could see that the conversation was over.

"Oh I forgot to tell you,"

I started to make my way for the bathroom door. When I opened it there was a short little figure in front of me.

"They're home."

Alice stuck her tongue out at Edward and then hugged me.

"Bella! WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO TALK ABOUT!"

"Yeah."

Alice gave Edward a disapproving look. I was happy to see here, but I wasn't in the mood anymore.

Alice sighed, "Oh Bella."

"I'm going to go get dressed."

Both of them nodded and I went out into the hallway. I was halfway to Edward's room when I heard Emmett.

"Bella!" He boomed.

Great. I'm practically naked. I turned around and waved awkwardly. Emmett laughed and Rosalie came up behind him.

"Hello Bella." She smiled.

"Uhh Hi, Rosalie."

I hurried into his room and shut the door. I swung open the doors to the over stocked closet and found my section of it. I noticed that Alice had put some new outfits in it for me. A long white garment bag hung in the back. I went over and unzipped it. Inside was the prettiest dress I had ever seen. It was a long, silky satin wedding dress. I wanted to pull it out further, but I was afraid I would ruin it.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

Alice appeared behind me and took the bag from me.

"Yes, Alice. It's dazzling."

Alice smiled and then pulled the dress delicately from the bag. The satin and sheer bottom flowed to the ground elegantly.

"Are those….diamonds?"

I reached out and touched the little jewels that adorned the seam right where the top met the lacy, billowy bottom.

"Of course they are, Bella. Do you honestly think I would put you in some cheap knock off?"

I placed my right hand on my chest dramatically and Alice shook her head.

"Thank you so much, Alice. It's absolutely perfect."

I reached out and hugged her.

"Who's the best almost-sister-in-law in the world?"

"You, of course!"

We both stared at the fancy creation for a moment. I imagined how I would look in it.

Alice read my mind. "Would you like to try it on?"

I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see myself in a wedding dress. But my curiosity bubbled over, and I nodded.

I let my towel breeze to the wood floor and I carefully stepped into my dress. Alice zipped it up and I felt the lace conform to my body perfectly.

"So…how do I look?"

Alice put one hand over my eyes and pushed me to the full length mirror that was hanging on the back of the closet door.

"You tell me," she said, uncovering my eyes.

Before me stood someone I didn't know. Her dark eyes held the emotions of surprise and disbelief. But above all, she was stunning.

I was frozen in the mirror. I didn't look like me. I wanted to reach out and touch my image, just to make sure it was real.

"Your verdict?" Alice said standing behind me in my reflection.

My bottom lip quivered and I felt the tears spill down my cheeks.

I turned around and looked into her eyes.

"I've no words for this. Alice," I cried, "thank you."

She patted me on the back. "Oh Bella, you silly emotional girl, you're very welcome."

I straightened myself and we both looked back into the mirror.

"I'm ready, Alice. I truly know I am."

She nodded. "I always knew you were."

"I'm going to be a Cullen in only two weeks."

Alice laughed. "You know, once you're a Cullen, you're a Cullen for life…sort of."

We both burst into laughter.

"I think you'll make a great vampire, Bella."

I blinked at my image. "I hope so, Alice."

So, yeah, you can kill me now. I know, this took a while. BUT REVIEW:DD

But it's summer! YAY! So, I can actually write whenever I feel like it:D

Missed you guys!

As always, REVIEW!

Update soon.

Xxxx Lea