"Hey, guys?" Fear S said. "Have you noticed that our future vision has been… off recently?"
"What do you mean?" Anger R asked.
"Well, like… we weren't able to predict that that Aquamarine and that Topaz would come and kidnap humans."
"Well, we can only predict events based on our current knowledge base," Fear R said, "and we've been removed from Homeworld for so long that we have no idea what they might be up to."
"Yes, but what about Steven surrendering himself, then finding a way to return?"
"We had no idea that Lion was even capable of that sort of thing," Disgust S said.
"And he wouldn't be, had Lars not died," Sadness S said. "Which isn't too sad, I guess, seeing how Steven was able to revive him, and how it helped him get back home… but still, he died…"
"And that means Lion died at some point too…" Sadness R added.
"The point is," Disgust S continued, ignoring her weepy compatriots, "Steven's return was predicated on unpredictable factors and unknown facts."
"Yeah, but what about him surrendering in the first place?" Fear S said. "There was no scenario we saw where that happened."
"It did seem contrary to how we expect Steven to act," Anger S said.
"Hey, so a few events caught us off guard," Joy R said. "So what? It'd get boring if we were able to predict everything that will happen all the time. This way, sometimes we get a little surprise."
"I'm not sure I like surprises," Fear S said.
"Please, surprises can be wonderful if they're pleasant, or even if they're merely no unpleasant. In fact, how about we actually create these scenarios that we can't predict? Have Garnet do things she wouldn't normally do and see what possibilities arise that we can't foresee!"
And that's how Garnet ended up working at the Big Donut.
"I never thought I'd see you working here," said Steven when he entered. "Have we fallen on hard times?"
"Yeah…" Disgust R said. "The Gems don't need to eat, and Greg's a millionaire. This definitely isn't about making ends meet."
"Right!" said Joy R. "It's about being random!"
"I don't understand," said Steven.
Garnet gave an explanation of what she was doing, using a cup of coffee she poured on the counter as illustration.
"Not that he'd understand it," Disgust R said.
"Oh, so you want to do stuff you usually don't just to see what happens?" Steven said.
"Huh. I guess he would."
"Steven's more insightful than anyone gives him credit for sometimes," Joy S noted.
"So," Steven, "are we gonna clean up that coffee?"
"That's what we'd normally do," said Garnet. "Let's see what happens to the world when we don't."
She and Steven watched as the coffee spread, eventually dripping off the counter.
"Now the floor's dirty," Sadness R lamented.
"I think we could have predicted that even without future vision," Disgust S said.
"We don't know for certain," Fear S said. "After all, in most timelines, Garnet would have cleaned it up before this point."
"Except in most other timelines, Garnet wouldn't have spilt the coffee," Fear R said, "because in most timelines, she wouldn't need to illustrate herself, and she wouldn't be working at the Big Donut… each unpredictable scenario leads to another, even more unlikely scenario, and those choices keep piling and piling on, becoming more and more unforeseeable…"
"I'm scared," Steven said.
"Rightfully so," Fear R noted.
"But intrigued," Steven continued.
"That's the spirit!" Joy R said, taking charge of the console. "Let's keep this intrigue train rolling!"
Garnet leapt over and burst out of her Big Donut shirt. "I quit!"
"Yeah!" Anger R yelled. "Take that, menial, soul-crushing job!"
"The uniform clashed with our style anyway," said Disgust S.
"So, now what?" Steven asked as they left the store.
"Well, we spent the morning selling food," Sadness S said. "So let's order some instead."
"Great idea!" Joy R said. "Let's get pizza!"
Steven called up Fish Stew Pizza and ordered twenty pizzas, asking to be surprised by the toppings.
"He's really getting the hang of this," Joy S said.
"And living boldly," Disgust R said. "I mean, some of those toppings are strange even by Amethyst's standards."
"I guess deliver it to the Temple," Steven continued on the phone. "No-that's just what they'll be expecting."
"Go weirder!" Garnet urged.
"Deliver it to the ocean. No, no, no! To Kansas! No, to the moon!"
"Yeah, that's a bit too weird," Disgust S commented.
"Remember. Improbable, not impossible," said Garnet.
So Steven had them deliver it to Fish Stew Pizza.
Sadness S shrugged. "Well, he's trying."
"Now think, Steven," Garnet said as they left Fish Stew Pizza with their order, "about what you typically do when you obtain pizza."
"Eat it?" Steven responded.
"In this timeline, we do the opposite of that." She tossed the pizza to a random passerby.
"Saves her from risking having to try those toppings," Disgust R commented.
"Though Garnet should probably treat Steven to pizza again sometime," Sadness S said. "He enjoys pizza. Actually eating it, I mean. It's a shame he isn't going to get any."
"Maybe," said Joy R. "But right now, let's just enjoy being improbable!"
Steven and Garnet went around the town, handing out pizzas to people like Peedee, Mr. Smiley, and even some seagulls. Soon there was only one left.
"Vidalia's house is around here," Steven said. "Let's bring her the last pie."
"That'd be nice," Sadness R said. "She must be upset that her son was taken into space."
"Um, are you confusing Lars with Sour Cream?" Disgust S asked.
"What? No, I'm talking about Onion," Sadness R said, pulling up a memory of the Homeworld ship departing with him still onboard.
"That didn't happen," Anger R said. "He's still on Earth; see?" He pointed at the viewscreen, where Steven was pointing out Onion.
"I think this is a memory of a possibility, not of what actually happened," Sadness S said.
"That's been a real problem lately!" Anger S said. "There's been so many possibilities that we can't tell them apart from the actual timeline!"
"And our confusion is making Steven confused," Disgust R noted, looking at the screen. "And not just because we've decided to be random."
"But our future vision troubles are the very reason we decided to be random," Joy R said. "And now we're being random with Steven! So let's not focus too much on that and try to help Garnet enjoy herself. To Mama Onion's!"
Garnet and Steven, pizza in hand, burst into the garage.
"Get excited for pizza!" Garnet yelled.
"We got pepper flakes and we're not afraid to use 'em!" Steven added.
Vidalia screamed and hid behind the painting she was holding.
"Oh no," Sadness S said. "We didn't mean to scare her."
"If Garnet and Steven arriving with pizza scares her, she's just weak," Anger R groused.
"Hey, they just startled her!" Fear R said. "If something burst in on Garnet- well, if her future vision is as unreliable as it is now…."
"Eh, whatever," Disgust S said. "The pizza can act as an apology."
"Sorry," Steven said. "We were just trying to bring you a pizza in the most unlikely way possible. Want a slice?"
"Sure," Vidalia said. "I could use a break. I've been working on this still life of a stepstool, but I just don't feel inspired."
"Wait a minute," Joy S said. "I think I feel inspired!"
Garnet went to the stool and struck a pose. She was soon joined by Steven.
"All right!" Joy S yelled. "Modelling!"
"Ugh," Anger R said. "Posing for a portrait is not as fun as it seemed initially."
"Standing still and not doing anything does kind of get in the way of the whole unpredictability thing," Disgust S said.
"Well," Fear S said, "the series of choices that lead Garnet to this point were so improbable that we couldn't have possibly foreseen it taking this long; nor do we know how much longer-"
"Hey, everyone!" Joy R shouted, pointing at the screen. "Look!"
Outside Vidalia's garage, a one-eyed kitten was digging through the trash.
"Is it possible that we chase that sweet cat?" Steven asked.
"It's up to you, Steven."
"Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes," Fear R said.
"He'd better say yes," Disgust S said.
Steven did.
As soon as the word escaped his lips, Garnet grabbed him and rushed after the kitten, leaving Steven to shout apologies at Vidalia as they left.
The two followed the cat across the town and into the woods, where at last, it leapt into a bush. Looking inside, they found four more kittens.
"Oh!" Sadness S said. "Poor things."
Steven concurred with Garnet's emotions. "They have no food," he said, "and they have no one to take care of them." He started handing them, one by one, to Garnet. "All right. I think we got to stop being random and figure out what we can do for these kittens. Garnet, can you use your future vision? What should we do next? Garnet?"
Garnet's emotions were too busy looking at the screen, which displayed various scenarios that the future vision had concocted. Most of them didn't end too well for the kittens.
"Oh dear," said Sadness S.
"Ugh," Disgust R said. "It's worse than when we fought all those watermelons."
"Gah!" Fear S exclaimed. "So many possibilities… so many…"
"What should we do?" Fear R asked in a panic. "What should Garnet do?"
"How should we know?" said Disgust S. "We know as much as you do, and that's nothing."
A clap of thunder sounded. It began to rain.
"And now it's raining!" Anger R yelled. "Why didn't we predict that? The weather shouldn't have been altered by our actions!"
"Well, why weren't we able to predict anything lately?" Fear S said. "Even before we decided to go pool-hopping!"
"It's all your fault," Anger S said, turning to Joy R. "Oh, let's make Garnet do things she wouldn't normally do, see what situations she gets into. Well, it got her into this situation!"
"Well, how was I supposed to know we'd encounter a bunch of helpless kittens?"
"Exactly!"
"Guys! Please!" wailed Sadness R. "We're under a lot of stress, yes. But so is Garnet! So the best way to help her is to release some of what we've been building up inside."
"Right," Sadness S said. "Ready?"
Sadness R nodded. Together, they sent out a therapeutic wave of sorry to Garnet, causing her to share her worries with Steven.
"I can't tell what's probable anymore!" Garnet said. "Anything could happen to these cats!"
"That's true," Steven said, "but maybe instead of thinking of all the things that could happen, let's just pick the thing we want to happen and do that. So, what do you want to happen next?"
"See?" said Sadness R. "Steven knew how to help. So, what do we want to-"
"Well, that's obvious," Anger R interrupted. "Get these cats of the rain!
Steven used his shield as an umbrella. "And then what?"
Joy S smiled. "I think I have an idea."
They transported the kittens to Vidalia's garage, and the emotions watched as Steven made a call to the local shelter.
"Hey, does Steven seem… different to you?" Disgust S asked.
"Like how? Anger R said.
"Like how he's been acting. More mature; more responsible."
Fear S. "You're right! That must be why out future vision's been off! We were still expecting him to act like a child."
"There's nothing wrong with this timeline or my future vision," Garnet said to Steven. "I just need to factor in that you've grown up."
"I guess I have, but it's only because I'm trying to be more like you. You always know what to do."
"Not always," Disgust R said.
"Hey, we'd better catch that kitten before it jumps off the ledge," Fear S said.
"On it," Joy S said.
"Okay," said Disgust R, "most of the time."