Warning: This story does include violence, allusions to sexual assault, abuse, miscarriage, and some major character deaths.
I own none of it. I just like to play with the characters.
Chapter 14 – Moving On
May 1st, 2010
"Sirius, don't you have plans for tonight?" Hermione asked as she watched Sirius waved his wand at a bowl of popcorn kernels, heating them gently so they puffed up. They had been living together for over two years now.
Sirius looked up confused. "Course I do. It's movie night, kitten, remember?" He turned to sprinkle melted butter and salt onto the movie snack. Two years before, Sirius had finally managed to convince Hermione to allow Rose to have a sleepover at the Burrow with Molly and Arthur. It had slowly turned into a monthly event, the elder Weasleys taking little Rose every first Saturday of the month so that Hermione could have a night off. This eventually turned into movie marathon night for Sirius and Hermione. "And this time, it's my choice."
Hermione frowned. Her mind kept rewinding to a conversation she had the week before with Ginny. They had been eating lunch together while the children played.
"You haven't noticed it?" Ginny had asked, red eyebrows high on her face. "The man hasn't been out with a woman in months. Actually, I don't think he's been on a date since you moved back to the cottage."
"Well, maybe he hasn't met the right woman."
"And you haven't even considered a date since Ron."
Hermione groaned. Not this again. "It's nothing to do with us. We are only close friends, Gin. Nothing else could happen."
"Of course nothing will happen. Neither of you are willing to take a risk. You'll continue living together as roommates and let your lives pass you by." Ginny had taken her hand. "You need to take a risk or you need to step away."
Hermione shook her head, jolting her to the present. How had she been so stupid to allow herself to fall in love with Sirius? He had been with her through everything, helped her get through the bad days and celebrated with her for the good. He brought back the Hermione that everyone had missed so fiercely. And she was being so selfish. She didn't want him to date. Didn't want him to find someone else. Didn't want him to move out. But Ginny was right. They had fallen into a trap and depended on each other for more than they should. He deserved to fall in love, get married, have children of his own. Not be burdened down by a widowed, single mum who's idea of a good time was a glass of red wine, a good book, and a warm fire while her daughter slept safely upstairs. He deserved so much better than her.
"What I meant is, shouldn't you have a date?"
Sirius paused in the doorway, one hand holding the bowl of popcorn the other balancing two wine glasses, his body stiff. "Why would I have a date?"
"Why else? Sirius, when was the last time you went out with a woman?"
He turned and walked slowly back into the kitchen setting the items onto the counter before meeting her gaze. "I honestly can't remember. Why are you asking me?"
"Don't you miss it?"
"Some aspects I guess." Sirius moved to take her hand but she stepped back. "Kitten, what's going on?"
"I think you should start dating. I think we both should. I think it's time to move on."
Sirius looked startled. She thought he looked hopeful for a second before he scowled. "You want me to go out and date? Like I was before?"
"I think that you should let the twins set you up again. Or go out to the bar and meet someone." Hermione tried to ignore the bitter taste in her month as the words came out.
"A bar? You mean I should start shagging random women again?"
"I never said that, Sirius, don't put words in my mouth." Hermione huffed. This wasn't going how she thought it would. "I just think that you need to meet someone. You know take a risk."
"A risk? And what about you and Rose? I know you don't like the idea of me bringing date," Sirius sneered the word. "Home where Rose could see them. Where Rose could hear us together."
"Of course not." Hermione snapped. "Which is why I think you should start looking for a place to live."
Sirius froze, hurt flicking across his gorgeous face. "You want me to move out? You really want me to leave?"
"I-" Hermione turned away to hide her pain. "I think it would be the best way for us to move on. You know, start a new."
"Why?" Hermione cringed at the agony in his voice.
"Sirius, don't you want to fall in love? Don't you want to get married and possibly have children of your own?" Hermione put her head into her hands. Why couldn't she just tell him that she loved him? "You shouldn't live alone."
"I'm not alone!" Sirius bellowed making her jump. "I have you and Rose."
"Living here with Rose and I, is holding you back, Sirius. We are safe for you. You deserve so much more than settling for a half-life with a broken woman and her child."
"And what about you? Are you going to take any of these fucking risks?"
Hermione nodded. "Ginny is setting me up for next Saturday."
"Right. Well, then I'll just make this fucking easy for you and let you alone, like you wish." Sirius slammed his hand against the door frame as he stormed to the front door.
"Sirius, where are you going?"
"The bar. I guess I have a fucking woman to pick up as I'm just wasting my life here." Sirius ignored her cry of indignation and rushed out to the ward boundary forcing himself to not look back.
oOoOoOoOo
He hadn't gone to the bar. Sirius was happy to find Harry, Remus, Charlie, and the twins in the kitchen of Potter Manor playing cards. The group looked surprised to see him and even more stunned when he went straight to the liquor cabinet and nearly chugged half a bottle of vodka.
"Uh, you alright there, Sirius?" Charlie asked, eyes wide.
"Peachy fucking keen," Sirius grumbled, tilting the bottle back again.
"Slow down, Pads." Remus quickly stood to take the bottle from him. "At your age, you're going to kill yourself drinking it like that. Go sit down."
Sirius muttered unhappily at the werewolf before stumbling to an empty chair, ripping it out and slumping into it. He reached across the table and stole Harry's glass of whiskey, drinking it in one glup. "She wants me to leave."
"What?"
"Why?"
"She'd never want that."
"She does, Harry. Apparently, she and Rosie are holding me back." Sirius looked around the table before finding the bottle in front of the shocked dragon tamer. "She's got it in her head that I need to fucking date and find a fucking witch and that we weren't taking risks. Letting our lives just fucking pass by or some stupid shit like that." Sirius put his head into his hands, his body not appreciating the sudden onslaught of strong spirits. "I've apparently changed."
"Well, yeah, but it's not a bad thing." Fred shook his head.
"According to her it is. Why can't she see?" Sirius whined, the alcohol loosing his tongue. "I don't want to date. I don't want random shags or to go out to bars. I like being home. I like being with her and Rose. I don't want to have fucking blind dates with trashy bimbos that only want access to my vaults. What I want is have my movie night with my best friend. What I want is to wake up on a worn in sofa to crazy hair that is trying to choke me. What I fucking want is her." He ignored the gasps and chuckles from the table. "But I can't have her can I?" He took another swallow, darkness tinging his eyes. He was really going to regret blacking out in the morning.
"Why can't you?"
"Well, mini-prongs, it's quite obvious. I, while being an unbearably handsome, sex god, am not worthy of someone like her. She's bloody fucking amazing, isn't she? Look at all she's been 'hrough. A fucking war, my insane fucking family, 'bliviating her 'rents." Sirius' words started to slur together. "He made her 'appy. I wouldn't make 'er 'appy like that. Deserves everything, she does." Sirius banged his forehead against the wood. Before anyone could comment, loud snores rose from the now passed out wizard.
"So, how long has Sirius been in love with Hermione?" Charlie finally asked after the group stared in silence at the drooling animagus.
"A long, long time," Remus admitted, watching his oldest friend with tired eyes.
"She feels the same." The men jumped at Ginny's quiet voice. Ginny giggled a bit before continuing. "She's scared to admit it but she loves him as well."
The twins shared an unnerving look before turning to the others. "So let's get the idiots together."
oOoOoOoOo
"Why did you bastards let me drink so much?"
"Sirius Black, you watch your mouth."
"Sorry, Molly. Why did you wonderful and talented wizards allow me to consume so much?" Molly rolled her eyes before walking back into the house to get more trays of food. They were settled in the backyard of the Burrow to celebrate Victorie Weasley's eleventh birthday.
"You didn't give us much choice." George laughed, passing him a vial. "Figured you'd need this."
"Oh thank Merlin. Little Red over there takes after her mother and thinks that you should learn from your hangovers. I have learned that I should never get drunk at the Potter's house." Sirius tossed the now empty vial back to George. He had opened his mouth to speak again when he heard her voice calling for Rose to please be careful.
"Wow, that's one disgusting look of longing."
"I agree, dear Forge. Almost enough to make a bloke lose their lunch."
"Shut up you tossers." Sirius flicked them off. "George, do you still have the name of the realtor you used?"
George frowned. "I do."
"Can you give it to me? I need to find a place soon."
"Nope." George said, popping the 'p'. He gave a toothy grin. "Not unless you ask out 'Mione first."
Sirius growled. "Fucking prick."
"Sirius Orion Black, what have I said?" Sirius cringed as Molly raised her wand at him. Thoughts of her washing his filthy mouth out ran through his mind. "Now, unless you want me to hex you into next week you are going to listen to me and listen to me good. You got me?" Sirius nodded, trying not to snap at the others laughing at him being chastised by their mother. Molly pointed a long, bony finger towards Hermione. "That woman is one of the most amazing witches I have ever had the pleasure to meet. She is as good as a daughter to me." Sirius closed his eyes. This was where Molly told him to stay away from her and that he'd never be acceptable as a partner for Hermione. "And if you let her slip away, you will regret it for the rest of your life."
Sirius' head whipped up, his mouth dropping open. "W-what?"
"You may not have been my first choice, I'll admit it, but I've seen how she is with you. Her entire face lights up when you walk into the room. You are the one that made her come back to us. You were the one that was able to break through the barriers she put up. And the way you are with Rose. Sirius, you are a good man and a very good fit for my daughter." Molly sighed. "And if you don't get off your lazy arse and go ask that beautiful woman on a proper date, I'm going to make it difficult for you to sit for the next month." Sirius blinked stupidly at her. She waved her wand at him. "Go. Now."
oOoOoOoOo
Sirius turned, groaning as Molly lifted her hands to her hips, staring at him as if asking what he was waiting for. The twins, Remus and Tonks were watching with large grins. Grumbling, he began to walk to Hermione where she was standing with Ginny watching as Bill, Harry and Charlie taught the little ones to fly on training brooms. Rose was laughing loudly from in front of her Uncle Charlie as he did little dips and spins. "Hermione?" Why did was his voice so high?
Hermione turned, briefly stunning Sirius with her beauty. He had always loved the fact that Hermione never wore make-up unless going to a ball or fancy work party. He loved the way her hair defied gravity and never did as Hermione wanted it to. He loved her simple clothing and the fact that she wasn't high matienece like most of the witches that threw themselves at him. He loved her.
"Hey, Sirius." Hermoine wrung her hands together. "Listen, about last night, I'm sorry that -"
"No, no. You have nothing to be sorry about." Sirius bit his lip, wondering if she would be offended if he just pressed his mouth to hers. Would she know what he was trying to say? Would she want the same things? "I overreacted. I shouldn't have stormed out or yelled at you. You were right."
"I was?"
"Yeah. It is time for us to move on. To get out. To date again. To take risks."
"Oh." Hermione said sadly, her eyes dropping as she tried to smile. "Well, I'm glad you're going to try. I know that there's a perfect witch out there for you."
Sirius used a finger to gently lift her head. "There is. I've met her already."
He watched as she swallowed loudly, her eyes misting. "That's great Sirius. That's really great. You'll have to bring her around sometime. I'm sure she's wonderful."
"She is. Bloody brilliant, loyal, passionate, and the most beautiful woman I've ever known." He met her eyes. "I'm in love with her."
Hermione wrenched herself from his hands, turning her back to him. "Good for you, Sirius. Excuse me, please, I need to go use the loo."
Sirius reached out to grab her arm. "You don't understand, kitten. I got so mad last night because I was scared."
"Scared? Scared of what? Your perfect witch?" Hermione sneered.
"Well, kitten, you can be quite intimidating."
He chuckled as her perfect mouth dropped open with a small gasp. "W-what?"
His heart began to race, his hands cold, and he realized what he was about to say but had no chance of stopping his mouth from damning him. "I love you, Hermione. I have been arse over kettle, no going back, worlds shattering in love with you for years. I know I don't deserve someone like you and I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear but I really needed you to know. And if you don't feel the same, it'll be ok, I'll get over it. I'll move out and we can still be friends and – omfp!" Sirius' rambling was suddenly stopped by what he believed were the most perfect set of lips he had ever had pressed against his own.
"Thank Merlin," Hermione breathed as they separated. "I love you, too, Sirius." His face broke into a large grin as he pulled her back to him, reconnecting their lips, both lost in the sensation as cheers and shouts rose around them.