For The Girl

She was breaking my bones when

I was busting their noses

- The Fratellis

She's under a spell and she's getting married.

She's going to be Mrs. Ash "Trailer park chillin" Gotta-zap-em-all-hurpdurp-gorilla.

Marshall Lee actually finds that somewhat funny – unless of course they're too late, and Marceline is already making celebratory honeymoon sandwiches on her knees going Ash-baby you want fries with that?

Now he frowns.

"No stress dude!" Finn yells over the wind. "Ash got nothing on you."

"Yeah man, you're like Marcy's #1 bro," Jake adds.

"Twin-bro, yo!"

"Brotha-from-anotha-motha!"

"Holla!"

"Thanks guys just what I needed," Marshall Lee says dryly since brother isn't really something he wants to hear right now.

Marceline's trail leads to the middle of a desert city, the kind with numerous hotel-casinos and fountains that squirt fancy waterworks at night. Figures that Ash would come here – where else could you go for drive-thru weddings? They arrive in front of Best Little Chapel and for Marceline's sake he's glad that this joint, at least, looks respectable enough to be in a medium-budget movie. Jake shrinks down to normal size and everyone hops off in a really cool way except for Lumpy Space Princess because she still has some sort of PTSD from earlier. It's time for epic wedding crashing. But first, some words of legitimate wisdom.

"Remember Marshall Lee," Jake advises. "True love's kiss will break the spell."

"Is true love open mouth or..?"

"Start slow then go with the flow."

"Gotcha."

Then Finn and Jake push the chapel doors wide open.

"OBJECTION."

The scene before them doesn't look that out of ordinary. It's just a guy and a girl halfway through a quickie wedding with a wolf cleric standing between them. They look up, alarmed, at the intruders.

Ash says "You dweebs?!"

LSP says "Tony?!

The cleric/Tony howls "A-woo-woo-ooo?!"

But the only one of significance is the girl at the altar in blue jeans and flip-flops. Moment ago Marceline was smiling and radiant and truly madly deeply lovestruck but now, she's astonished. Her hands slip from Ash's. "What're you guys-"

"Ash did a magic thing, Marceline!" Finn points.

"Yeah Marceline, you're getting wangled into wifehood!" Jake adds.

Ash retorts "You're not invited get outta here shoo."

Finn gasps. Jake narrows white eyes. And the argument takes an ethical, explosive turn (Jake's ancestors didn't struggle so that pale-face Ash gets to use the s-word, that's their word, ignorance is no excuse). But over loud voices, Marshall Lee can still hear Marceline ask "What's going on?"

She looks right at him. He's three steps away. She looks the same as always but something isn't quite right. Marshall Lee says "Marcy don't marry this guy."

"But I want to."

"He's making you want to."

"My mind is made up," she pouts and her eyes speak volumes. He realizes that this Marceline will make a dank sandwich out of love and devotion and you wouldn't even have to wrestle her into the kitchen, she'll sashay over there like a princess. "Marshall Lee I thought you'd be happy for me."

Oh so that's what's wrong. She's wife material now.

Marshall Lee makes a face. "What sorcery is this!"

"Stop being mean!"

"Don't marry Ash!"

"And why not!"

"Because I..!"

The whole room falls quiet and all eyes are on Marshall Lee because surely, what he'll say is the stuff great romances are made of.

"Because you what?" Ash's voice jeers but irrelevant background noise is irrelevant. Marshall Lee steps forward.

"Because..."

Well, she always approved of winging it. He takes her hand and Marceline doesn't look away, even though she blushes when his thumb runs over her knuckles in a gesture more intimate than intended. His other hand withdraws a simple gold band from his pants pocket.

"... I have a real ring."

"Ohh snap," Finn and Jake gasp because, as everyone can see, Ash got his last-minute wedding rings from Family Dollar. Ash scoffs loudly; wizard-ex-boyfriend powers beat not-really-boyfriend powers – right? Marceline stares at the very simple yet very legit ring, held up just for her.

"But that's..."

"My pimp ring? Yeah."

"Are you asking..."

"You to be my hoe? Well no. Not yet, anyway. You don't have to be anything, just..." Marshall Lee mulls over the line between overkill and understatement and settles for "Don't wear his. Wear mine."

Marceline's expression is strange.

"Break it to him babe," Ash taunts, confident, not even worried about the hand-holding.

"I..." Marceline frowns. Marshall Lee can't imagine the kind of conflict going on in her head, but it shows in the furrows of her brow. This struggle is real. Sooner or later, though, he knows she'll come around.

"Also, if you get hitched I'd have to move in with Jenny," he adds just to speed things up and just as quickly, her brow twitches.

"Get molested, see if I'll help you," Marceline hisses – all traces of domestication gone in an instant- and that settles that. Not-really-boyfriend powers win.

"A-ooo," Tony howls and everyone jolts. Oh, right, the cleric is a wolf and Grod works in mysterious ways. "Ooo-o-oo."

"I got this you guys." Perchance, LSP is fluent in the language of the forest creatures since thirty minutes ago. She comes forth and translates. "What Tony means is- I mean Pastor Tony- how did that happen Tony you're not even bald- well anyway, Marshall Lee you totally moved him. Now he's totally on your side."

Marshall Lee blinks and Ash says "Are you serious?"

"A-wooo..."

"'Marceline, you clearly have the hots for Marshall Lee'."

"..oo-ooo..."

"'And Ash your game lumpin' sucks'."

"..ooo."

"'Worst couple ever. So not worthy in the eyes of Grod. Wedding's off, Tony out.'"

"What!" Ash exclaims furiously and stomps after the cleric. "Hey come back here, stay!"

"You can't use that word!" Jake growls and stomps after Ash and Marshall Lee tunes out everything else after that. Marceline steps down from the podium, rubbing her temple and complaining about a killer headache. The plastic ring on her left hand is promptly discarded.

"How you feelin'?"

"Peachy." Marceline looks around as if just now realizing the situation. "Um, wow. I'm not lucid right? This just happened forreal?"

Did she get fooled by and almost marry her psycho ex?

One day she'll look back on this and smile like he does, probably.

"Plastic rings, Marcy."

Marceline grits her teeth. "I'll kick his ass."

"He went that way."

But there's already a line for the Ash-kicking event. The wizard is surrounded by two barking, ethically-offended canines, Finn, and LSP. It's not quite the man-to-man showdown that Marshall Lee somewhat expected but this is cool too. Marceline can line up before him; it's her virtue at that was at stake anyway.

"I don't gotta put up with this! I do magic!" Ash bellows. Then he pulls out a wand and a thick, ancient tome. "KNEEL."

Finn exclaims "Look, Jake!"

"Everybody get back!" the dog shouts in alarm.

"That's right! I have the long-lost super-mythical ultra-sacred Enchiridion II: Magic Edition!" Ash declares. If he was overbearing before, he's far worse now. His wand glows. The air around him suddenly crackles with ancient, unsurpassed magic. Everyone takes a tense step backwards because ultimate power in the hands of a dumbass is still formidable.

"There's nothing I can't do now Mar-mar," Ash promises, staring straight at Marceline. Unnatural winds make her hair sway.

Marceline frowns. "You did all this for me, Ash?"

"You're my best girl."

It's not like she's also rich and has a nice butt or anything, but of course Marshall Lee doesn't need to remind her about that. Marceline rolls her eyes. "We're. Over. You psycho."

"Fine go date Marshall freakin' Lee," Ash snaps. "We'll see who's laughing when I take over the world!" And the power levels in the room rise to over 9,000 as the wizard opens up the Enchiridion II. He starts to chant. "'How to rule the world: Infinite Tsoo...koo...yoh...mee. The hell, this isn't even English-"

Thump.

Marshall Lee's fist finds its way to Ash's stomach. He crumples. Lights fade. The book and the wand drop. And the formidable magic that was going to threaten the earth is unceremoniously nipped in the bud.

Ash coughs on the floor. "You... you interrupted me, bro! Who does that!"

"Dumbass," Marshall Lee snaps. He throws in a kick to the ass. "You don't seriously think I'll stand here and watch you read that shit?"

"Yeah, dumbass!" Finn jumps on Ash's back and the rest join in though Jake mutters something about watch that mouth mister. The air fills with beautiful sounds of major Ash-kicking.

"So that's it?" Finn asks when the dust settles. "Marcy, you're freed from the spell?"

Marceline shrugs. "Guess so."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"It's the Power of Liking Someone A Lot," Jake says and Finn leaves the matter at that.

Ash grumbles insensibly, looking swollen. He'll probably lie prostrate on the floor like that for a few hours. His wand is broken from the fray.

"Justice prevails," Jake spits and takes the Enchiridion II for heroic safe-keeping.

"C'mon you guys," LSP says benevolently and puts an arm around each hero. "Let's go home. You too, Tony."

They leave Ash and the wedding incident behind them. The chapel doors are swung open and they go out into the night...

\/\/\/\/

Princess Bubblegum is so relieved no one got axed in half that she throws a party that very night. Girlfriend knows how to celebrate, albeit not like LSP; her courtyard overflows with food fireworks and friendly citizens.

Marceline tends to ditch him whenever a girl or several come over to chat. Marshall Lee never really bothered to call her out on that habit before, but tonight he excuses himself from the Bikini Babes and goes off to do just that.

Bubblegum intercepts him by the punch bowl.

"Marshall Lee, a quick word?"

You don't say no to someone who hands you a big red lollipop. So they take a stroll through the hedges and, true to her word, Bubblegum gets right to the point.

"Do you like-like Marceline?"

Straight-faced, Marshall Lee says "I do."

"Do you want to date her?"

"I do."

"I figured as much." Bubblegum comes to a halt and she looks up at him frankly. "Now don't take this the wrong way, Marshall Lee, you're one cool homie and all, but frankly... you're a bum." Well, can't argue about that. Bubblegum continues. "You have amnesia, you're unemployed, you have no past references..."

Marshall Lee rubs his hair. "I'm also attractive?"

"Yes, very," Bubblegum agrees. "In fact you and Marceline could be identical twins."

Ow. Right in the feels. How does someone so petite hit so hard in the feels that he sucks on a lollipop for comfort?

"What I'm saying is, homegirl needs to upgrade. She's way too math for another bum boyfriend."

"Yeah. I know." Marshall Lee can appreciate the legitimacy of this chat, unexpected though it may be. "Don't worry about it princess, I'm still getting my stuff together."

"I figured that, too."

And Bubblegum takes out a single pill from her pocket, round and pink and contained in square plastic.

"This," she explains proudly, "Is the new Memory Pill 300. Instantly cures amnesia."

Marshall Lee stares. He floats forward and squints.

"Are you serious?"

"Go and get your stuff together." Bubblegum hands over the pill in all scientific seriousness and this is no joke. Marshall Lee is suddenly mesmerized and yet ridiculously hyped up about one small pill.

It's been four weeks of retrograde amnesia.

This is it.

"I..." Marshall Lee finds himself wondering "What if the real me is hella different?"

Bubblegum actually smirks. "Doubt it."

And he was going to keep calm and maturely rejoice except oh shit, oh shit, this is it he'll remember, this is some dank shit. Marshall Lee manages to pat Bubblegum's shoulder and say thanks princess you're the shit before flying off.

"Take it easy you're gonna have a butt-ton memories!" she calls out but already her voice is far away.

Eventually he finds Marceline talking to some princesses, probably about boots, but he hands her the lollipop and takes her away anyway, easily.

"Guess what. Guess what."

"What, Marshall Lee?"

They're outside at the castle walls, away from the lights the noise and the festivities but she can't possibly miss how wide he's grinning. Then before he can actually say anything else, Marceline quickly says "Wait me first."

Marshall Lee is pretty sure this isn't what kissing a sister is like. The tilt of her head and the movements of her mouth make the world a better place.

Soft lips curve up against his. "Thanks, by the way."

"No problem," he whispers back.

"And... sorry I bailed..."

"Shh."

They could do just this for hours. Actually, they have done just this for hours. Her fingers weave together at the back of his neck and he pulls her hips close but too soon, Marceline leans away no wait come back.

"You were gonna tell me..?"

That I like y

No, that's not it, and she knows that already anyway. Her hip is kinda bony but Marshall Lee is still loathe to let go and dig into his pants pocket.

"Guess what?

"What?"

He holds up the Memory Pill 300.

\/\/\/\/

"Oh shit. Oh shit."

"I know."

"Oh shit."

Marshall Lee rolls his eyes. "Freaking chill."

"Suspense is killer okay," Marceline snaps. They're back in her kitchen as per usual after any night of hanging around. But does she have to fold her arms like that and watch like a hawk as he opens up the pill?

"Hey," he muses, pill in one hand and juice box in the other. "What if I really am a pimp?"

She stifles a sarcastic mhmm. "Oh that reminds me, take your ring back."

"Nope. Hands are full."

"Fine."

"Fine."

The pill is promptly swallowed along with the contents of the juice box. Marshall Lee doesn't tell Marceline that he's glad he broke into her house and got amnesia and got to know her; he'll rephrase that sappy shit later, much later in the future when they're one of those insufferable couples joined at the hip. He'll tell her later about what being with her is like which is existential heaven.

Nothing really happens at first. He must have a long gullet.

Then instantly. The memory pill works instantly.

One instant, one thousand years of memories. They come rushing, they're a flood, they're indescribable overkill on the ego and the senses but

this

is how

it should be.

He reels.

\/\/\/\/

He was just minding his own business when those heroines came crashing through his door.

"Adventure will fix you!"

"Come with us."

"Iiiit's adventure time!"

Idiots. But he tagged along on their idiot quest anyway.

"We did it! It's the Enchiridion II!"

"Whaddya mean this was pointless, look at it!"

All that sweat blood and tears for a dumb book. He held it distastefully, unimpressed. Then a light – it takes him away.

"Damn you."

"DISAPPEAR."

He heard it first – his own axe bass cutting him through. Then he felt it repeatedly. He saw red; he snarled.

"Look at me take your shit."

The bass, the book, they're gone. He staggered blindly down the ravine and into his cave, bleeding the whole way. How did he end up so close to home, again?

Fucking front door won't open. He kicked it off its hinges.

Something became different about his house since he last left it but who cared about that when everything hurt, like damn. His shirt was ruined and he tore that away; he fell into the tub and warm shower water dripped over him and that was almost a relief. He closed his eyes and let the gashes heal. There's an axe bass-shaped hole in his very being that stung even worse, though...

Lights turned on.

The fuck? Some fool with a death wish was in his house and

"What the freak?"

No way. That voice was something heard only in dreams. But he'd know it anywhere, even real life.

"Marshall Lee?"

He opened bleary eyes. He grabbed that hand – it's real, alright. Why? How?

"I know you."

Every facet of her face, her voice, and her expressions was just as he knew it from those lucid dreams.

"You're Marceline."

She left. He stood up. He was going to follow her because things can disappear when they're out of sight but for the first time in, well, forever, his balance failed.

He fell headfirst.

\/\/\/\/

"Marshall Lee?"

He leans over the sink, gripping. His head spins, blood trickles down his nose, his knuckles are turning white. Then, a calm feeling as everything sinks into place. So that's what he forgot. It all makes sense now. He's Marshall Lee the Vampire King and he's been around Aaa for a whole millenium.

A hand goes on his arm. It's Marceline.

"Did it work?"

So this is who he is and where he's from and the past four weeks are not lucid dreams but reality.

"Hey." Her voice compels no less than it did before. "Say something."

He should grin and tell her yeah it worked, guess what, you'll never believe this it's cra-azy. Instead, he mutters "You're not my sister."

"What?" Marceline was ready to jam a towel up his nose but she pauses. Her face is flawless symmetry, the best kind of mirror. Did he really not see this coming?

Marshall Lee looks at her just a little longer and of all the profound new things to think about, he wonders if this revelation changes anything at all.

"You're me..."

"What..?"

It's a truth that hasn't been told in either dimension for a long time. In the small space of her kitchen, Marshall Lee tells Marceline about himself and the place where he's from.

\/\/\/\/

A/N: True love pwns magic and Marshall Lee remembers everything. Now he's gonna act mature and whatnot. In summary:

Ice King's fanfics were on point all along. Aaa, the genderswapped AU of Ooo, is real.

Starting from the epilogue of my last story, Fionna Cake and Marshall Lee found the Enchiridion II in Aaa. Then Marshall Lee mysteriously got sent to Ooo and the rest is history.

Marshall Lee and Marceline are each other's genderbent equivalent.

I guess if you wanted to you could argue MarceLee is kind of incestuous? Selfcestuous? idc true love prevails these guys ar righteous

Double chapter swagger this week =D b/c I'm late D= But I hope it's still good.

* I made The Hangover jokes and a Naruto joke and they were a-ight

Thanks for the constant reviews they were all cool and they motivate me!

Dani4Short: Nah they're not brother-sister. I will always reply. Like Siri or something.

lilysash97: Aha. Jerome lost his sister and yeah he's planning some stuff back in Aaa.

monkey: I knoow broo

bangitrealgood: 'Come' again? Lul

SimplyPassingBy: Super humbled by that review. I'm glad someone finds Jerome interesting, he was a challenge to write. Good luck with military, keep up that fic!

Marceleeregina: Lol that's okay!

Doctor: You write? Cool shite =]

me: I'm told I have fabulously questionable taste in music. So yeah, you must be pretty cool haha

Guest: Ty, ty

observantrobin: Lol it's just selfcest nbd.

Lili The Amazing Clutz: Here you go yo