Disclaimer: I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean.

A/N: Thank you for all the perfectly amazing reviews! 200 plus reviews! I'm amazed!

Spoiler:I'm 100 Sparrabeth, but you'll just have to endure this chapter, kay? If you really knew me, you'd know that it will all get better...sooner or later. Besides, there has be a plot line, right? I want to make this story as long as possible!!

And as for Jack... -Evil laughter-

Chapter 14:

Elizabeth walked briskly down the cool hallway, still not used to how long and twisting her home was. There was probably still rooms she had never been in, as well as secret corridors and passage ways Teague hadn't mentioned while giving her the tour of her new palace. Well, maybe it wasn't a palace exactly, but it sure felt like one to her. The place was huge, winding, and filled with staircases and hallways like the one she was currently rushing down. It was still amazing to her, or would have been...

Every morning was a nightmare, every night her own personal hell. She no longer found joy in anything, nothing made her happy.

She entered the main hall and looked around, spotting Teague sitting in the back with his guitar in hand. She nodded, and he nodded back, strumming the strings softly, the chords of music filling the air and comforting her. She walked over and sat down in an empty chair, then stared at him quietly until he finished the song, the music fading off into the distance. He placed the instrument to the side, then leaned back, folding his hands in his lap; ancient, warm eyes trained on her.

"Why have you summoned me?", she asked quietly after a moment. His lips twitched in a small smile, but her face stayed calm and devoid of all emotion.

"I did not summon ye, yer friend did.", he said after a moment, his gaze suddenly solemn. She turned in her chair and watched as Justin walked towards her, hands thrust into the pockets of his breeches. She jumped to her feet, then tilted her head to the side, the compass swinging from her belt. She hadn't let it out of her sight, not since... She took in a deep breath and shut her eyes. Not since Jack had died...

"Snap out of it, Elizabeth.", Justin said bitterly, walking forward and gripping her shoulders, shaking her slightly. Her eyes snapped open and she studied him, her expression grim. "You've been nothing but a living shell since we arrived here. It's not like you!"

"Let me go.", she whispered, but his grip only tightened until she was sure that she'd get bruises.

"Damn it! It's been two months, and you've still not let him go!", he cried, shaking her again, but harder. Tears filled her eyes, and he stared at her for a moment, breathing heavily, his eyes narrowed. "You cannot cling to the past forever, Elizabeth. You must let him go."

"Why should I let Jack go?", she asked, her voice tight with pain. "Why should I let his memory go when there is nothing the future can offer me? Is it so terrible for me to mourn him, to miss him?" She reached for the compass, finding comfort in touching it.

"No, but your dragging it out! Elizabeth, you barely eat, you rarely sleep, and now your locking yourself away in your room and letting no one in! Your look like your a walking corpse!" She flinched away from him, then sunk back down in her chair, glancing over at Teague and pressing her lips together to keep from sobbing openly. He stared back at her, shaking his head.

"Jackie would not want ye t' be this way. He'd want ye t' be happy, lass, not t' beat yerself up bout' his death. Twasn't yer fault, and ye know that." She said nothing, only clutched the item in both hands, her knuckles turning white with the effort. "The Brethren have noticed yer behavior, and they're starting to get a bit restless bout' this all. They respect that yer hurting right now, but..." He sighed. "They've called a meeting fer tomorrow night, t' discuss it." If he had hoped that she'd show some emotion about the news, he was wrong. She stared at him, brown eyes dulled, face worn with grief.

"I loved Jack.", she whispered, staring at his father. "I loved Jack more than I've ever loved anyone else." She hung her head, shutting her eyes tightly. "I miss him, so much." Her voice was strained, and then her shoulders starting shaking in silent sobs, tears rolling down her face and dripping onto her hands.

"So do I.", Teague said, then looked over at Justin, who's hands were clenched into fists. Her words hurt him. She still had no idea that he loved her, that he adored her everything. Yet, she had made it quite clear over the past few weeks that all she wanted was to be friends with him; that she had never loved him, and that she couldn't see them together in the future. He could tell by the way she avoided him, and her words about Jack.

Maybe she didn't know how he felt about her. Maybe he needed to tell her, to comfort her and help her through the terrible pain she felt about Jack's sudden death. He sighed, then walked over and grasped her arm gently, pulling her to her feet. Taking one look at Teague, he nodded, then led the sobbing woman out of the room and down the hall. She dragged her feet, and he stopped with a sigh before wrapping his arm around her waist and helping her along, pleased when she didn't resist him.

Once they reached her room, she pulled away from him, then placed her curled hand on the door, slowly allowing her fingers to relax until her palm rested against the surface of the wood. She let go of the compass with her other hand, then glanced at the indents in her skin and sighed.

"I'm sorry for getting so frustrated.", Justin whispered after a moment, watching her while she seemed to be lost in dreary, morbid thoughts. "I'm just worried about you." Elizabeth nodded, then finally lifted her head to look at him. He smiled, then reached over and pushed the hair from her face, watching intently as her eyes fluttered shut, hearing her sigh softly. Taking this as an invitation, he trailed the back of his hand across her cheek and down to her neck, waiting to she if she would react angrily.

She never did. He blinked, then slowly cupped her jaw and leaned in, his breath hot on her face. Her eyes flickered open, but then his lips were pressed against hers, making her gasp. She started to pull away, but he curled his arm around her waist, pulling her further against him. She gave a small sob, trying to get out of his embrace, but after a moment gave in and melted against him, shutting her eyes and relishing the feeling of his lips against her own.

Almost shocked to the point of disbelief, he deepened the kiss slowly, feeling her hands run up his chest and wrap around his neck. Something inside him knew that this was wrong, that he was using her while she was hurting, and that when she felt better she'd kick his ass. Yet, it felt so damn good, and he found that he'd risk the ass kicking just to kiss her for a bit longer. Her lips were so soft, so inviting, and waves of warmth rushed through his body, shaking him to the core.

He groaned softly, and then she gasped and pulled back, staring at him with wide, horrified eyes. He stared back, and then saw her lift her hand and place it over her mouth, eyes filling with tears. He let her go and stepped away, knowing full well that it was over, watching as she fumbled with the doorknob, threw open the door, then slammed it behind her.

Elizabeth locked the door, then collapsed on the bed and buried her face against the pillow, sobs ripping from her throat and echoing loudly around the room. She was shaking, terrified but what she had done, by what they had done. Justin had kissed her! Justin, not Jack! Never Jack...he'd never kiss her again. She'd never find out if he loved her, she'd never feel him hold her, never feel his hands on his face or his lips on her skin... More tears gushed down her face when she realized that, then she sat up and clutched the pillow to her chest. She felt so empty, so cold, and it was as if the walls were falling down around her; suffocating her, choking her to death. The pain in her heart intensified, and she put the pillow over her head, trying to make the piercing screams that rang in her ears go away.

At the sound of a knock on her door she pulled the pillow away, then quickly pushed it back against her ears, falling down on the bed, the screams getting louder and louder... She moaned and whimpered and curled up into a ball, but then someone was shaking her, pulling the pillow out of her grasp and laying down next to her, cradling her against their chest. Shushing her, she realized it was her who was doing the screaming, but the pain hurt so much...

"Make it stop!", she sobbed, turning around and coming face to face with Justin, who was looking worried. "Make it stop, make it stop.", she begged. He looked into her glossy, tearful eyes, then ran his fingers soothingly through her hair, causing her to cry even more. "I can't get out, it hurts too much, please.", she whispered, her face contorting in pain. "Please, I can't do this anymore, I can't." She gripped his shirt in her hands, blinded by the tears, but then she felt his lips brush lightly against hers. She paused, frozen, then felt him press his mouth to her lips again, this time more firmly. She clung to him tightly, pulling him closer, realizing that the pain faded away the more he kissed her. It was as if the emptiness she felt, the loneliness she had to battle with every day had suddenly been filled, if only for a moment. It wasn't Jack, Justin would never amount to him, but she wasn't hurting as bad anymore.

She pulled back and shut her eyes, then ducked her head, resting her forehead against his shoulder. He sighed, a pleasant smile spreading across his lips, then fingered her hair and brought it to his mouth to kiss the lock in his hand.

"I love you, Elizabeth.", he whispered, and felt her stiffen. "I've loved you ever since I was twelve years old." She let out a shaky sigh, and then lifted her head to look at him, her eyes filled with shock.

"Justin..." Her voice was sad. "We can't-" Justin blinked, then cut her off with a kiss. She didn't respond, only lay limp in his embrace, half-heartedly pushing against his shoulder with her free hand, then other trapped under her body.

"Can't you think about it? Liza', I've not seen you smile or heard you laugh in a long time. Your pushing everyone out, it's not healthy." Elizabeth frowned, then pulled back slightly. He stared at her, then stifled a groan of frustration when she sat up and stared out the window, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I love Jack.", she said firmly, cringing. "I admit I'm hurting, but kissing you was wrong." She shook her head, seeing him prop himself up on his elbows out of the corner of her eye. "Even if it...did make the pain go away. Justin, I'm lonely, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to move on and love someone else. In fact, I might not be ready for a very long time." She sighed, dropping her head to her knees, starting to shake. "I wish...", she whispered, taking in a sharp breath, "I wish I could have seen him one last time, been able to say goodbye. There were so many things which should have been spoken, which should have stayed unspoken, that should have been amended." She pursed her lips, holding back the tears. "He didn't deserve to die, not again."

"Wait.", he said, sitting up fully. "What do you mean, again?" She lifted her head and looked over at him, her eyes cold and hard.

"I killed him.", she whispered, staring at him. He blinked, and she noticed with satisfaction that he moved away from her a fraction. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out, and he shut it again, looking around uneasily. "I chained him to the mast and left him to die as the Pearl went down, to give the rest of the crew a chance to live." She sighed. "And I regret it, so much. I just...I never got to say that I was sorry, so very very sorry." Tears filled her eyes again, but this time she blinked them away angrily, sick of being weak and hurting all the time.

She was the Pirate King, and she knew full well that Jack would not want her like this. No, she was afraid to think what he'd do if he saw her at that exact moment. She reflected grimly that he'd probably laugh, pull her up on her feet, and kiss her until she had regained faith in herself. Faith was something she had lost a long time ago, the moment she had found out he was dead and that her life was no longer worth living.

"But...he should have been dead then.", Justin whispered finally, grasping for words. Was this what Jack had meant when he said that she wasn't innocent? That she had the murder of someone hanging over her head?

"I went to the ends of the earth and beyond to fetch him back.", she replied after a moment in a whisper, staring at nothing in particular, lost once again in her thoughts. "I faced things worse than hell to retrieve him."

"You felt guilty." She sighed, starting to get annoyed.

"Yes, I felt guilty that I killed him. Yet, it was more than that. The world was less bright, and my whole body ached at his absence." She paused as her own words processed in her mind, and then her face darkened. "Like it aches now.", she added bitterly, shivering. Then he blinked and turned to him. "I locked the bloody door, how did you get in here?" He smirked and rummaged in his pocket, then held up a small metal key.

"Teague slipped it to me before we left. He's worried about you, and he had every reason to be. You were screaming, I though you were killing yourself." Elizabeth chuckled coldly, a morbid smile crossing her lips.

"Doesn't sound so bad, at the moment.", she murmured, then yelped and found herself pinned against the bed, Justin hovering over her with an enraged look on his face; eyes filled with desperation.

"Don't you ever think about killing yourself!", he growled, pressing her wrists down into the mattress above her head. She stared up at him tearfully, her eyes terrified eyes trained on him. He blinked, then his eyebrows knitted together. "You do not deserve to die; hope is not lost. Your young, you have your whole life ahead of you!"

"Hope is already lost, it was the moment you told me he was dead.", she spat, anger quickly taking over her shock. "There is nothing left to live for, nothing. I see nothing in my future." She sighed. "Justin, my heart is already taken by another. I care for you, but as a friend only." His grip loosened, and he shut his eyes for a moment, drawing in a deep breath. "I suppose it is my fault for leading you on for so long, but I've been hurting. Why couldn't you help me get through it as a friend, instead of trying to win over my affections?", she asked, slipping her wrists out of his grasp and pushing him away. She sat up, adverting her eyes, then rested her forehead against her palms of her hands.

"I love you.", he whispered, as if that excused what he had done. "I hate seeing you so distraught." He sighed. "I want to see you smile again, to see your eyes glitter with life and not...death."

"Please.", she replied, shaking her head. "You've helped me survive these past couple of months, but do not press your luck." She lifted her head weakly. "I'll have to ask you to leave. I'm tired; I need to rest." Justin stood up from the bed and nodded, but didn't move any further.

"I'll only leave if you promise me that you'll not kill yourself." She stared at him dully, then inclined her head in acceptance.

"I promise I'll not kill myself.", she agreed, then fell back against the mattress when she heard the door shut.

I promise I'll not kill myself tonight. That doesn't mean I'll not do so tomorrow, she thought, then rolled over and pressed her face against the pillow again, feeling the waves of numbness roll over her. She welcomed it; it was a change from the feeling of the huge hole in her chest, the hole where her heart should be. Jack had taken it to his grave, as well as her soul. She was lifeless, so was no longer alive, and neither was he. He's lucky. He got to pass on, and I did not. Tears burned angrily against the back of her eyelids, but she did not cry, she would not cry.

She pulled away when she saw stars at the back of her eyelids, then curled up into a ball, locking her arms around her legs and resting her forehead against her knees. She was exhausted, but she willed herself not to fall asleep. There was no peace at night, not even when she was unconscious. She had dreams; terrible, horrible dreams. Nightmares, more like it. Every time she'd wake up screaming. People had stopped coming to check on her; people were used to her blood-curdling screams that would sound in the middle of the night. People had learned to block out the noise, to go on with their lives as if no one was hurting, slowly dying inside, slowly drowning in their own dark, morbid, death-filled thoughts.

No matter how much she wished it away, no matter how much she braced herself, it was there. The pain, the horrible blinding pain that crashed over her, dragging her under, choking her mercilessly. She started to shake, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth, every muscle in her body tensing as if she was getting ready to run away. Elizabeth wished she could. She wished she could run away from the pain and despair that seemed to be cold, metallic shackles around her wrists and ankles, those that she couldn't break free from. She was trapped, and there was no key to let her loose.

This time, there was no one around to save her.

Blackness crept forward in her mind, blurring the edges of her conscious. Tears burned her eyes, and she opened them slowly, grimacing when the rolled down her face like beads of hot fire. Her fingers itched to wipe them away, but she was afraid that if she relaxed she would loose the only thing that held her in the world of the living, and that she would slip away and follow Jack into the next world. The thought comforted her, but she had made a promise, a promise that she fully intended to keep.

She fought the urge to loose consciousness for as long as she could, but after a while she felt too overwhelmed to care anymore. She sighed and shut her eyes, blocking off the torrent of tears that had continually run down her cheeks, then quickly slipped into the desolate darkness she was so accustom to.

Elizabeth was running. She was tearing her way through the blackness, the crashing sound of water always roaring behind her, threatening to overcome her. She shut her eyes, leaning forward and pushing herself harder, her breath coming in short bursts, lungs burning with the strain. Suddenly, she slowed down, opening her eyes and reaching her hand out. She felt nothing for a long moment, and then her hand was pressed against something cold and smooth, smooth like glass. Turning around quickly, she realized she was at a dead end. She focused on the large, dark wave of water as it climbed higher and higher, towering above her.

Then, as quickly as it had climbed, it dropped. She screamed as it fell, and then suddenly an arm was curled around her waist and pulled her back through the wall, that was now like water. She gasped and staggered back, resting her weight again a strong chest as she watched the wave crash down, splashing up against the wall and rolling away. She moaned, feeling sick, then bit her lower lip and shivered at a low, husky voice whispering in her ear.

"Yer not much fer thrills, are ye?", came the voice. She spun around, her wide, pain filled eyes coming to rest on Jack's dark chocolate ones. "Next time a storm hits us I'll be sure t' lock ye away in me cabin until it's over." He kept his arm around her waist, the other running up her back, skilled, tanned fingers running soothingly through her hair. She pressed herself closer to him and rested her forehead against his own, letting out a soft, strangled cry.

"I miss you.", she whispered through her tears, like drops of ice water pouring down her pale skin. "Oh God, Jack, I miss you so much." She was sobbing now, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands, shaking him slightly. "Please, the pain is too much to bear. I won't last very much longer. I need you with me, I need you to survive!" Jack shushed her gently, moving his hand from her hair to her cheek, tilting his head back and squinting his eyes.

"You've missed me.", he said blinking, as if he hadn't heard anything she said. Then he smiled. "You will stay alive, Lizzie, ye won't pass away."

"I want to die, Jack!", she yelled, her face crumbling with pain. "I don't want to live in a world where you are not. You've passed where I cannot follow, and I swore to myself I'd follow you to the ends of the earth and beyond. Please!", she pleaded with him, the tears blurring her vision so that she could no longer see him again. She felt it a waste, she wanted to take this time to memorize his face, the color of his eyes, the gentle, reverent touch of his fingers against her skin...

"Do not think of killing yerself, love. Promise me, promise me ye'll not commit suicide." She stared at him blankly, shaken by the anger in his tone. After a moment, shrinking under the intensity of his gaze, she nodded. "Out loud, iffin ye please.", he grunted after a moment, and she sighed.

"I promise, Captain Sparrow, that I will not kill myself.", she whispered, then blinked at his piercing gaze.

"Ever." She gaped at him, words failing her for a moment. She took a moment to collect herself, then regarded him solemnly.

"Beg pardon?", she asked softly, and he rolled his eyes, propping her chin with his hand.

"Promise me that ye'll not ever kill yerself.", he repeated, and she took in a shaky breath.

"Why will you not let me follow you? Why can I not end my life? There is nothing left to live for!"

"Promise me." He ignored her last questions, his voice growing irritated.

"I promise that I'll not ever kill myself.", she said, defeated, then shut her eyes miserably when he smiled.

"See? That wasn't so hard.", he said, smirking, then leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to hers. She scrambled to kiss him harder, then gasped when he pulled back, his eyes suddenly cautious. "No." She bit her lower lip, confused, and then slowly he lowered his hand from her face. She stared at him, her body going limp in his embrace, hurt. Yet, she felt whole again, and somewhere inside she was delighted that he was there, with her, if only it was a figment of her imagination.

At the sound of a pistol being cocked her eyes snapped open. Jack's eyes had widened too, and then he stiffened in pain, gasping as he slid from her arms and sank to the ground. The cracking sound of the pistol going off was belayed, and reached her ears only after he had fallen. She sank to her knees, her body trembling as she reached for his hand, tears blurring her vision again. She whispered his name, and his eyes fluttered open to focus on her.

"Lizzie...remember yer promise.", he forced out, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. She clamped a hand over her own, choking on her tears, sobbing and suffocating all at once, the pain coming back with full force. He gasped, and she flicked her eyes down to his chest, watching the dark maroon patch of blood soak through his shirt, growing ever darker and ever wider. She hunched over, pulling her hand away from her face to wrap her arm around her waist, feeling as if she might throw up. She looked back up and met his lifeless, dead eyes staring right back at her.

'Remember yer promise...remember yer promise...yer promise...promise...promise...prom-'

She screamed, letting go of his cold hand to cover her ears, shaking her head, unable to stop the screams, not wanting to stop them. Never.

Jack was dead. He was dead...dead...dead. Forever.

And ever.

For all eternity.

Elizabeth sat up, shaking. Her shirt was soaked in a cold sweat, icy beads running down her forehead and dripping into her eyes. She fought to catch her breath, pausing half way at the horrible, never-ending pain that seized her the moment she gained consciousness. Biting her tongue to force back another agonized scream, she wiped her forehead with her sleeve, then slowly got to her feet, wanting to cry at the horrible loneliness that she suddenly felt, boxing her in and squeezing her tighter and tighter...

She shook her head to try and get rid of her thoughts, of the temptation to reach for her pistol and end her life. It would be so easy, but Jack had made her promise! Even if he was dead; even if it was just a dream and nothing more, it still meant something... right?

She sighed, trembling from head to toe, then walked over to her dresser and yanked the top drawer open. Not wanting to check if she had a fever (knowing it was most likely that she did), she tugged out a warm, fluffy green robe before shoving the drawer shut. She threaded her arms through the sleeves, then pulled it around her tightly, trying to rid herself of the icy feeling that seemed to freeze in her veins.

Slowly, she trudged back to the bed and collapsed, then once again sank into darkness. This time, thankfully, she had no more dreams, her mind to weary to produce anymore dark, depressing images for her to suffer through.

Morning came early. She woke to the sun shining brightly in her eyes, the seeking rays of light warming her face. She sighed and curled her arms tighter around her waist, trying to cling to sleep, to the feeling of numbness, the feeling of no pain, no agony. Yet, once she was awake, she couldn't go back to sleep. Her eyes fluttered open, and then she slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position, breathing lightly. If she didn't think about him, then she wouldn't feel the unbearable pain that came with those thoughts. So, pushing him out of her mind, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, groaning at how her body protested against movement. She felt stiff, tired, old. It was no secret to her what the past two months had done to her figure.

Standing in front of her dresser, looking into the mirror, she shook her head slowly. She was skinnier, never hungry, almost starving herself. There were dark circles under her eyes, living proof of the nightmares that she had. Her skin was ashen, as if all the blood had just left her face and decided to stay that way. Her hair - devilish, tangled, and uncombed - was fastened into a quick braid. She had no will to care for herself anymore. She had no will to live. It wasn't a matter of making it through a week at a time, it was now a matter of getting through every day, forcing herself to put one foot in front of the other, always fighting off the urge to look back and remember. To remember was to give in, and to give in was to surrender herself to the cold, clawing hands of death.

No, she had to put the past behind her. She could not remember. She could not look back.

She had made a promise, and this one she would fight to keep no matter the cost.