A/N: Is it okay to be kind of sad that this is over? No? All right-y then! /sadness off

This is 2000 words shorter (and probably a lot more boring) than the original one. And this is still a long one! Phew.

"Lemme tell you something about Sirius Black; He's got a screw loose, but don't hold that against him" – The Remus Lupins, Have You Seen This Wizard? (Spells from a Broken Wand, 2006)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter & the Marauders are not mine.

Beta: lowi (THANK YOU SO MUCH HON, I will love you forever!)

"I don't even understand why you're cross!"

Sirius stayed rather quiet while he was strutting briskly along the corridor that led away from the library in which they had been a few minutes ago, and merely tightened his grip around the mumbling Evans. With one hand, he held her waist steady on his shoulder, and tried to keep her legs from kicking him with the other – for that was exactly what she was trying to do. It's no use thinking how on Earth he'd managed to hoist her up there in the first place, for she was already there and not moving. Her head was popping behind Sirius, and her behind lolled next to his head; oddly enough, he had no difficulties keeping his eyes on the road, so to speak.

Being as toned and overall nice as it seemed, Evans' arse did not interest him.

And yes, Sirius wasn't exactly an athlete, but not being able to hoist a scrawny female geek on his shoulder would've only meant he'd be no worthy of calling himself Remus' boyfriend, and that was just not acceptable.

Not that he'd ever even thought of carrying Lupin around.

The girl wheezed dolefully as her gut pressed against Black's bony shoulder. She kept trying to wiggle herself out of the profane position, but since the capacity of her muscles was even more piteous than Sirius', she ultimately had to give up. Smacking Black's back, she mumbled to Sirius, "Let me go, you batty creature!"

But as Sirius showed no visible reaction, she turned to James, who was idly sauntering behind the two-headed Gryffindor. Lily moaned, "James, he's barmy! Lunatic!"

Potter said nothing as if he was trying to express his wish to stay out of the conversation at hand – not his usually tactic, per se, but Sirius had given him the Black family Stink Eye and James knew this was not the time to try and persuade the guy to do any way otherwise. James had done that once before in 1975 and he'd spent the following week speaking Spanish, backwards. So clearly, he had weighed his options this time, and as the situation told everyone interested, at the time Sirius had abducted Evans, James had merely followed them, eating an apple.

He was still at it.

Opting to say something, he finally aided Lily with all his might. "I know."

"I'm perfectly sane," Sirius alleged convivially – considering the situation that is – and tried to ignore her hitting his back, but it naturally only resulted him to be barely able not to smack her arse in return. He questioned, "Do you even know where the word lunatic comes from?"

"Of course you might think I care, but I don't," Evans wailed. She noticed how Potter was absolutely engaged with the apple and knew he was a lost cause. She lifted her head just so she could talk to Sirius better. "Let's talk like normal human beings, all right? I'm sure we could try that. I mean I could..."

"No," Black retorted simply and adjusted her better on his shoulder. "You'll just run away."

Lily rubbed her face until it was almost as red as her hair. "This can't be happening. People don't do this! We'll miss class. And I can't even run."

"Free period, Lily," James smiled at her between his appley bites. He tried his best to seem apologetic, but naturally failed. "Even you."

Evans pouted at him.

Sirius stopped, eyed the corridors from the intersection they were in and then continued walking towards one that curved to the left. He cleared his throat in a gentleman-like manner, and continued with the girl. "The word lunatic supposedly comes from lunaticus, which is Latin..." He suddenly halted again; this time he grinned lewdly at a painting of a busty woman on the wall. "Hey."

"Concentrate," Potter mumbled with a full mouth. Evans only shook her head in a rather deep disbelief that could only have meant she was trying to tell herself that she wasn't indeed sucked into the idiocy of these two morons.

There was a little voice inside her head that was telling her exactly the opposite.

Figures.

"Er, yeah. My Remus taught me that," Black muttered to Lily's arse while tearing his eyes off the promiscuous painting. He tried to keep the girl from falling off him as he resumed entering the corridor – he wrapped his arms more securely around her waist and legs whilst going, "In a nutshell it means that certain people are believed to go crazy over full moon. They're moonstruck, in a way. Lunatic. Do you know anyone who's like that, Evans?"

"Padfoot," James warned with a low tone. Instead of Lily's baffled face, he was staring at the black tuft of hair that kept swaying behind hers. Potter mumbled, "Keep your mouth shut, okay?"

"I'm not a total idiot, Prongs," Sirius said to him and shook Lily a bit on his shoulder. The girl moaned as her stomach was aching against Black's bones. "Hey, I'm waiting!" Sirius sang. "Don't believe you've ever seen me during full moon. Have you?"

The girl grimaced a bit. No, not a bit – she pulled a face until she looked amazingly like Snape when he was greatly delighted, which on Lily's face looked like she had eaten Potter's sock and washed it down with a nice gulp of flaming Firewhiskey. She muttered, "No, but it doesn't mean you're not bonkers. You're special in a way you require a helmet."

"I'm special too, you know," said James immediately to the girl while he tossed the core of the eaten apple into a bottomless bin they passed in the corridor. Once his fingers were free yet again, he wiped them into his robes while staring at her. "I'm exceptionally special!"

"I bet you are," Evans sighed into her hands. "Does that explain why you took my wand? Or why you're letting him do this?"

Potter again smiled apologetically and scratched his ear. Shrugging at her, he said, "I've known him since we were little kids, and... it's just easier to comply to his, er..."

"Idiocy?" Lily helpfully assisted, her hair bouncing around her face as Sirius kept strutting forwards. "Senselessness? Nonsensicality?" As Potter only kept smiling at her, she turned to Black. "Sirius, please, just let me go, and we'll talk like civilised people –"

"No, I really want to howl at you," Black said while adjusting her better on his shoulder, "I think, and the bathroom's the safest choice for that." He suspiciously eyed the corridor behind them. "Don't really want to attract any unwanted attention from Filch. He's, uh... pipped at me for some reason."

Without even noticing her they walked past professor Sinistra, who was admiring the lovely walls of the very same corridor. Of course none of them said anything to her while passing, because you know, she was Sinistra.

Not even Lily.

"Copulating chizpurfles!" the professor exclaimed, once the boys marched past her without acknowledging her. "Mister Black! Mister Potter! Where are your manners?"

"In the dormitory," Sirius twittered at her over Lily who just hung there on him. He smiled at the professor. "Sorry!"

The teacher was staring at them, her wrinkly hands placed to rest on her hips. She most likely tried to sound reprimanding as she spoke, but that was what her voice always sounded to James and Sirius so they couldn't have been exactly certain. Her voice echoed off lazily in the corridor walls. "Also frolicking in the hallway is strictly forbidden!"

"Yeah, Madame, we know!" Potter lackadaisically yelled back at her. "But we're not licking anyone this time! Also the last time was cleanly an accident! Slughorn knows that!"

Of course they tried to get away from the Astronomy professor as soon as possible; and as they were far away enough of the teacher, Sirius muttered under his breath, "Sinistra... What a nutter."

"Says the yob who's bothering the Head Girl," Lily whispered in a rather peeved fashion.

Patting her shin, Sirius whinnied at her. "Yeah, well, if it makes you feel any better, the Head Boy's behind us, so."

Evans sighed, "You think I don't know he's the Head Boy? I pay attention to people, not like you two pillocks."

Potter sulked. He looked like that one particular owl in the Owlery of Hogwarts who got his tail feathers plugged out every Thursday. "Do you? You never call me the Head Boy. No one ever does... except my mum. Sirius here calls me a bastard all the time – I should almost ask Dumbledore if they hand badges for that."

"Why should I, James?" Lily snorted as if the boy was asking the most obvious question possible. "The one time I called you the Head Boy, you accused me of calling you a fathead."

"He does have a colossal melon there," Sirius muffled to no one. The walls might have heard him, but they said nothing in return. "His mum's pretty sweet about it, though. She's nice and apparently also a super human, if she in fact managed to squeeze Potter out of her."

James the Fathead watched as Lily yet again tried to wiggle out of Sirius' hold – failing at it of course. He cocked his head at her trying.

"I'm sorry you have to undergo this. He's a born ruffian. I'm a gentleman."

Barking like a hound dog, Black giggled, "You keep telling her that, Prongs. I say this, Evans, you haven't seen him right after shower! Unsightly."

Lily was about to say something, but her legs thumped against a door. Sirius skilfully opened it, and before the girl could kvetch once again about it, Black placed her on the tile floor. She flattened down her skirt, and swept her hair from her face. "Thank you!"

"Phew, you are heavy!" Sirius puffed. "Should've just levitated you here."

"What's that pong?" Potter sniffed as he walked in the bathroom after them. The dimly lit room echoed his voice, and oddly enough they didn't saw Moaning Myrtle anywhere – usually she greeted people with a wail that made a grown man cry.

That grown man had been Filch on several occasions.

After a quick fag or two the students customarily left the washroom alone for the ghost had always been rather annoying. No people in their right mind could stand her.

"Lily?"

Only just then they noticed Snape hovering over a small cauldron in front of the toilet stalls. His school bag was next to him on the floor, and his robes licked the tiles beneath him as he sat on them.

"Severus!" Lily squealed at the Slytherin who had already scampered on his feet. The girl took a hasty glimpse of her fellow Gryffindors while asking Severus, "What are you doing here? In a girls' restroom?"

The two boys were already looming behind her – one tried to look intimidating in the eyes of the Slytherin, the other merely sane. It should be noted that they were not successful.

Also they looked like they were trying to figure out from the surroundings whether Snape had eaten Moaning Myrtle or flushed her down the toilet.

Sirius sneered, "Piss off, Snivellus. No one wants you here."

"I'm busy," Snape snapped but seemed to gather his things all the same. Then he muttered under his breath to his cauldron, "But I wouldn't expect you to know what that means."

Crossing his arms, Sirius grinned at him as he watched Snape move towards the bathroom door. "Aww, are you a tad annoyed because your date dashed off?"

Severus glared at him from under his black bangs. Someone might have noticed his long fingers grazing the tip of his wand, but of course neither James nor Sirius saw that.

Lily cordially decided to stay quiet.

"Just go, Snape," Potter said to him, trying to stay as composed as possible. He readied himself to jump on Sirius if the guy showed any signs of attacking the Slytherin. "Please. Like now, if in any way possible."

Being overly helpful, Sirius shooed him also. "Yeah, run along with your mucus, you fiendish thingy! Go take a shower, it'd please us greatly."

"Nice one," Potter muttered.

"Pardon?" Snape asked fiercely as he carefully tried to walk past them. He had his bag in his arms, but the cauldron he had left where it was.

Naturally.

Lily kept her eyes off her former friend, and acted rather interested what came to wall tiles. Those were nice. "You should go, Severus, until this gets out of hand."

"It won't," Potter quietly assured her.

As Snape finally trudged past Sirius, Black only quirked a brow at him but evidently it was enough. The Slytherin looked like he was about to explode as he screamed, "Don't touch me, you manky animal!"

Closing his eyes as though not seeing the horror of a human would make it go away, Sirius lifted his hand in the air and yelled, "Calm down, crazy person!"

"Yeah," Potter addressed lazily the Slytherin. Grandly gesturing towards the ceiling he went, "Try to find your inner peace, or whatever helps you to simmer down the... er, whirlwind in the dungeons of your infinitesimal soul."

Sirius and Lily stared disbelievingly at James who only shrugged in return.

It was probably best for all of them that Snape decided to leave the room without picking an additional quarrel. Once in the corridor, tough, he muffled, "The only thing that is going to bring me inner peace is an ape-seeking missile."

"Oi! What was that?" Black howled after him from the door, but got no reaction from him besides a loud huff. "Hey, I'm talking to you! Snivellus! What a sodding..."

Lily muttered while walking towards a bench against a wall near the stalls, "Well, that was a bit rude."

"Yes, well, we've come to the conclusion over the years that Snape simply abominates all animals," James said back to her as he watched her wipe the bench clean and sit on it. He itched his neck. "Especially primates. He keeps saying that a lot around us."

The girl crossed her legs and once again straightened up her skirt. She smiled at James. "Even though I hardly befriend him anymore, I also have to admit that there was a time I thought you two were... a pair of uncontrollable, belligerent baboons."

As he returned from the door and walked to sit on the floor near Evans, Sirius muttered, "I can't help it if I like bacon. I mean... who can? Bacon's brilliant."

Lily eyed him, confused. "What? No, sweetie, eating bacon doesn't make you a baboon."

"Am not your sweetie either, sweetie."

"Yeah, that's just wrong," James noted to the girl. He just stood there, in the middle of the bathroom, arms crossed on his chest. "And by the way, Lily, clearly you've never taken a good look at Pete. He's exclusively made of bacon, and he's the most baboon a lad can get without growing extra hair on his arse."

"He doesn't need to, though." Sirius nodded from the floor. He had stretched his legs and was leaning on his arms. "It's rather shaggy to begin with. I've had nightmares." He shivered a bit. "Oh god... could we maybe talk about something else than Pete's arse hair?"

"Yes, who we should be talking about is Remus," Lily said, and quickly added, "Not his arse hair, however."

Sirius' eyes widened and he susurrated while pointing to the both of them, "Oh, yeah! Remus!"

"Oh no," James groaned in Lily's direction. "Lily, why did you have to remind him? He was about to forget the whole thing!"

"No, he wasn't." Lily shook her head.

"Yeah, I was," Sirius granted as he stood up again. "He rarely leaves my mind but now it just sort of happened. Don't know why, though. But, anyway –"

"Too many stimuli," Potter then noted. He eyed the girl. "It's a dog thing. They cannot concentrate."

Lily frowned. "But he's not a dog."

"Focus!" Black groaned as he dusted his robes, mainly his arse. When he was finished, he glowered at them. "I have three questions for the two of you." He pointed a condemning finger at both of them. "What, why and which of you."

"The plan," James said hastily and was ready to take a step back in case Sirius seemed to be about to plunge forwards. Yes, that was his usual look, but like stated before, James had known him for years and he knew when something was boiling beneath the surface.

Or so he told himself.

Lily continued from the bench, "Because he's so pertinacious!"

Then they pointed at each other, and naturally Sirius eyeballed them both. "So you two actually work together."

"Yeah," Potter said simply and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Apparently."

Now Sirius crossed his arms in return. He smirked, "How's that then?"

"Annoying at times," Lily confessed, and side-glanced at James. "But getting better."

Sirius pursed his lips and started to pace in front of them. "Do I understand this correctly?" he asked extremely quietly, but his voice echoed from the walls and they had no problems hearing what he said. "He's been Pottering me? Why?"

Potter nodded. "Reverse-Pottering, actually, but not the same kind we talked about earlier."

"Then what? Tell me."

So they did. One might think that to get Sirius Black to understand something of this calibre would have been exceptionally hard, but he was not stupid, for Merlin's sake.

"I'm not stupid," he growled at some point, "stop dumbing it down!"

"Sorry," Lily said, and continued. Whilst she was explaining the whole thing, James nodded continuously next to her and occasionally even decided to help by saying, 'My plan, Padfoot,' or, 'Brilliant, that's what it is'. While this was going down, slowly the colour of Sirius' face changed from crimson red to grey and finally to the shade of grimly white he supported once he slumped on the floor his back against the wall next to Lily's bench.

Sirius asked, "He tried to make himself understand he's fallen for me?" He watched them nod. "And he doesn't know that?" Now they shook their heads. "Has he succeeded? Does he... I mean –"

Interrupting, James smiled at him and uttered, "Indubitably."

As he let this information just sink in, Sirius stayed quiet. Lily stood up, walked up to him and crouched in front of him. "Sirius, you ought to be happy we did this. Because of this he's now all over you."

"Is he?" Black asked her and glanced around the bathroom. All he saw was tiles and dirt. "I don't see him here."

"What an idiot," Potter muttered to no one.

Sirius scratched his head, ignoring his friend, and looked at Lily. "So, he still has one step to go? The... er, reptile one?"

Groaning exasperatedly, Potter corrected from above, "Rapture. How could a reptile be a step?"

"I don't know." Black shrugged and leaned his head on the wall. "You invented the whole thing. There might be reptiles there."

Potter only grunted like a horsy elk in response. Lily sat on the floor and muttered, "Well, to my knowledge he was so frustrated that I don't think he'd be able to go through with it."

"He's never frustrated," Sirius whispered.

"We can safely assume he's always frustrated with us," Potter said while he slid next to Sirius. He slammed his hand on Black's thigh and smirked. "But he fancies you even if you are a pain in the arse, which should make you more cheerful than this. Are you happy?"

"No, I'm this close to smacking you right across your stupid face."

"Oi, leave my face alone."

Lily watched them bicker but said nothing. Once they were finished – for a second that is – she asked quietly, "What are you going to do?"

"If you ask me," Potter muttered before Sirius had even the chance to open his mouth, "I'd say that if you tell him, this whole thing, he'll abhor you for this. Forever – until you turn into a raisin because of all his hatred and loathing."

Lily frowned at him. "No one asked you, James."

Sirius tugged his hair and muttered, "I cannot handle it if he hates my guts."

"As you make your bed, so you must lie in it, Shirley," Potter sang ingeniously and made the whole room echo.

Sirius then glared at him. "You gave me the bloody mattress, Prongs, and it was a shoddy one. So not entirely my fault, yeah?"

"Tell him the whole thing," Lily said quietly. "I know him, and he's going to forgive you sooner or later. He's not going to hate you."

"Did you guys hear what I said just a second ago?" Potter bumbled. "He's going to despise you with everything he's got. I know that's not much, but he's one of the most determined people I've ever known. He's a wolf in sheep's clothes – he seems innocent and sweet, but my god he's vicious when he chooses to be."

Ignoring Potter completely, Sirius asked Lily, "What if he... doesn't really even fancy me? What if he's blinded by the plan, or something?"

Lily blinked and addressed James who had stopped waffling on. "This is the Sirius who's slept with the entire Hogwarts? Is he kidding?"

"That's him all right." Potter smiled at her. "The victims of his ensnaring siren song don't really know how much of a ninny he actually is."

"I'm not a ninny, you're a ninny," Black muttered to Potter with a ninnyish pout.

James scoffed. "Says the least self-confident bloke in this room today, and Snape was here having a picnic date with Myrtle."

Sirius only eyed his toes. They were interesting.

"He's not blinded by the plan, sweetie," Lily then said to Sirius. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "He doesn't even like it."

"Who does?"

"Oi!" Potter grunted again and was about to smack him but he saw Lily's disapproving expression. Lowering his hand he muttered, "Stop dissing the plan already."

"And don't call me sweetie," Sirius said to the girl. He was quiet for a second or two, and then said, "I'd just like to know why you two meddled in our business in the first place. Granted, I wasn't probably going to get him to fancy me without your help, but still."

"You were miserable," Potter immediately noted from his left. "And as your best mate I figured it's sort of my job to try and make you something that at least resembles happy."

"You both," Lily added co-operatively. "And this might sound corny as hell, but even though you both are kind of self-centred and blind, you don't deserve to be unhappy."

"So that's it?" Sirius asked them while playing with the hem of his shirt. "You wanted us to be happy? Because right now, even though I know he... I'm very not happy." Lily and James nodded simultaneously at him, and he inhaled. "Okay, cheers I guess. I think I should tell him this, even though he might end up hating me, and I might end up hating this situation even more. And... end up hating you two."

"No," said Potter immediately while shaking his head. "Don't tell him."

Evans eyed him over Sirius with disbelieving eyes. "Why not? James, are you an idiot?"

"Because," Potter smirked knowingly. "Lupin will eat him? He might actually eat Sirius. Like I just said a second ago, it's my job to keep my best mate happy and getting bitten in the arse is something I don't consider as such." He ogled the two of them. "I don't think you two are listening to me."

"He's a lamb," Lily said to James. "He's cool as a cucumber."

"He's a cucumber-lamb," Sirius assured himself and staggered up from the floor. "And I'll be okay with the biting as long as it happens between the sheets."

Potter shivered as he started to get up as well. "Didn't need to hear that."

Sirius helped his mate up and dusted his robes. He nodded to them both while saying, "Right, well. I assume you two find your way out of this bathroom. Hopefully... I'll be going."

"No, you won't," Potter muttered and stepped in front of him. He seemed rather grave. Like a tombstone. "I won't bury you."

Black snorted. "I'm not going to die, you twit, but if I will, there are people who will take care of that whole burying business, so you don't have to."

Potter didn't falter. "You will die, and I'm the one who has to write the sodding eulogy to the funeral of your head! Because there won't be anything else left of you when he's done! Are you happy now?"

"Shut up, James!" Lily quieted Potter and eyed Sirius seriously while getting up. "You can't lie anymore! Remus needs to know!"

"I know that!" Sirius bellowed at her. He flailed his hands above his head. "I just said so! Are you deaf?" He pointed a thumb at Potter. "Or are you listening to him? Don't listen to him!"

As James was concentrating to huff like a constipated dragon once again, Sirius swiftly moved past him. Yet, with his quick reflexes, Potter grabbed his upper arm. "This is the mother of bad ideas, Sirius."

"No, you are, Prongs," Sirius corrected while removing James' fingers off his clothing. "And it's usually you who comes up with the ideas, and as you're well aware, they always suck."

"This here..." Potter gestured grandly towards him. "What you're about to do, this display of utter idiocy, it's all your brainwork, and it's going wreck you. He's going to wreck you, Padfoot. To death."

Lily stared at them. "What is with those nicknames? They're rather inaccurate. I don't see any hoofs or paws, do you?"

Sirius eyed her for a bit and then licked his lips while turning back to Potter. "What a majestic timing you chose to be overly dramatic. I know he will be mad, but... like she said, I can't lie anymore – even though I haven't actually lied at all, but... Whatever, I just bloody can't."

"Try," Potter mumbled while rubbing his face. "Please try! Lying has never been an issue before now! Have you gone soft?"

"No," Black uttered. "But what's it to you if he hates me? Like it annoys you to see me suffer, we both know that you love it."

James gazed at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "I just... He'll hate me too, and..." He quickly glanced at Lily. "I can't really have any more people disliking me."

"No one hates you, arse-hat. You're the sodding Golden Boy of the Gryffindor house."

"I am?" James' discomfort suddenly turned into a smile. He glanced around the room. "The Golden Boy... Yeah, I like that."

While James was basking in his own, newly-found glory, Lily mouthed to Sirius with a few hand gestures, "Like his head isn't already big enough."

Black strutted towards the door while smiling sadly at Evans. He shook his head. He said, "It can't get any bigger. It's like a watermelon."

A half a second later Potter bellowed, "Bloody hell, Shirley, you can't be serious!", and yelling back at him, "I'm serious, and don't call me Shirley!" Sirius opened the bathroom door.

Soon enough he realised he was lying on top of unconscious Lupin.

How about that.

On early Friday morning before classes, Sirius strolled down the dormitory stairs to notice Lily sitting with her friends at the study table by the windows. Scratching his head, he inhaled deeply and walked towards the girls.

"Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid. ...Is that Black?"

Sirius nodded at them cordially and addressed Lily, who was slightly frowning at him. "Could I talk to you?"

One of her friends stood up right after that and stepped in front of her. "She doesn't want to talk to you, dumbarse. Run along, and take that gorgeous rear end of yours with you!"

"Actually, I wouldn't mind that at all," Evans said to Sirius, and after standing up from her chair she mumbled, "Let's go to my dormitory, it's empty."

Once Lily walked past him towards the girls' dormitory stairs, Sirius grinned directly at the previous girl. "I like your arse too, Melissa. It's nice and round, like a bun. I like buns."

"Say that to my face!"

Taking steps backwards to leave with Evans, Sirius asked the girl, rather baffled, "How many faces do you have?"

However, he didn't stay there for the answer, for he was already strolling towards the stairs. He had walked those stairs a few times, but never after Lily... Merlin help. Taking two steps at a time, he was almost at the seventh year girls' door when someone dashed out of the sixth year girls' room and tightly grabbed his arm.

A girl pressed herself against Sirius and peeped, "You came to see me? At last!"

Black frowned and tried to wiggle out of her grasp. "Uh... I don't think I did."

The girl swept her black hair from her face and smiled annoyingly at him. "So you're not busy after all? I'm glad you came into your senses. I tried to get a hold of you after the game, but you vanished from the party after I had the chance to talk to you. I've been waiting."

"I have no idea what you're talking about..."

Margaret pulled away from him. Sirius took a deep breath as the girl went, "Your friend talked about me? The, er... tedious-looking one? Lupin? I have to thank him."

Black licked his lips as he tried to keep the girl away from him by holding her on the shoulders. "Remus? Er, yeah... I don't know. Look, I don't even know who you are, so if I could just go –"

"Of course you know who I am! You can't just snog random people without knowing who they are," Maggie tittered and touched his chest. She smiled sadly at him. "You know that right?"

"Yeah, you're absolutely right, I can't," Sirius said after a few seconds of quick thinking. Again he moved her fondling fingers away from him. "But, would it make you feel any better, if I told you that it's the only way for me to feel loved in this world of monstrosities? You know, I'm descending from my pedestal to get some sort of action with people that are not quite as pult... pulchritu...dinous and stimulating as I'd like them to be." Sirius squinted. "Does that make any sense to you?"

The girl was quiet for a moment. "Yes, it does!" she suddenly mused and caressed his chest. "You think I'm stimulating."

"Oh god, I thought I was an idiot," Sirius muttered. "Look, I don't want to be with you; I've never wanted and never will, because... I'm a free spirit. Also, I don't really know who you are, which should be a clue enough for you to leave me alone. I'm sorry if you had bruises, but you can send the medical bill, if there is one, to my mum. She could use a little teasing."

Maggie cocked her head. "Darling, you've hit your head?"

"I probably have to do that if you won't stop talking."

"Sirius? Come on!" Lily's voice echoed from her dormitory. Black turned his head towards the voice and pulled away from the girl.

"I need to go and get me some... loving," he tittered and scampered away. "Evans's waiting!"

Watching Sirius to climb the stairs, the girl bellowed after him. "EVANS? But she's so dreary!"

"That's what they say," Sirius yelled back at her.

Seconds later knocked on the seventh year girls' door and popped his head from the doorway as soon as he could hear Lily's voice grant him the access. Sirius asked, "Why are we here?"

Evans was sitting on her bed. She shrugged. "You want to talk with my friends around us?"

Vigorously shaking his head, Black stepped into the room and, after taking in the room, he strolled towards the girl. He mulled over some words, and then sputtered, "Look, I don't know if I should apologise for something, but I'm rubbish at that –"

"You don't have to," Lily hurried. She shook her head a bit. "I've thought about this myself a lot, and even though it turned out to be a good thing eventually, it was kind of wrong of me to meddle... like you sort of said yourself. It wasn't my business at all and... I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me, too," Black mumbled and as Lily patted the bed, he sat on it. Drumming with fingers on his legs, he quietly added, "I sort of see your point, but... I don't really understand how this is a great thing."

"What do you mean?"

Sirius eye twitched faintly as he turned to her. "Remus doesn't talk to me. You didn't know that?"

Lily's eyes widened. She asked gently, "What?"

"Yeah, no, it's... It sucks," Sirius smiled bitterly. He stared at the carpet. "I've tried, but he hasn't said a word to me after the bathroom thingy. It's been... What, a week now? Yeah, without a doubt the worst week of my life."

The girl looked shocked. "I don't know what to say. He took it that hard?"

"Think about it, though," the boy muttered. "It was kind of a sucky thing to do. He has trust issues already, and what happened..."

Suddenly Lily got up. "But he's talked to me! Why is he angry with you and not me? I was horrible to him!"

"I..." Sirius mumbled as he ran a couple of fingers under his eyes. "I guess I had the most to offer, or... I don't even know. It's a bit hard to figure out his reasons to why he's not talking to me while he doesn't talk to me."

The girl stared at him. "I've seen you two in classes, and he doesn't seem that angry. You've talked."

"He's civil, all right," Black said forlornly. "And he talks to me, but... doesn't really talk, especially if he doesn't have to. Remus is..." Sirius again ran a hand across his face. "He's so cold, Lily. He doesn't even say my name anymore, which is kind of a bummer after all this..."

The girl looked like she was about to barf. "So does he talk to you, er, when you're studying?"

Sirius shrugged. "It depends on what you consider as studying. Yesterday, after Charms I asked him if we had Potions or Transfigurations next, and he called me a twat and he hit me with a book."

"Oh my," Evans muttered as she lazily paced in front of him. Her fingers found the base of her hair as though they were trying to find something to grab onto. "I never thought it would end like this... Sirius, I honestly had no idea, I'm so sorry."

Black nodded faintly.

"Can I do anything?" Lily whispered, stepped closer and crouched in front of him, taking Sirius' hands into hers. "Please, tell me. I have to do something."

"Maybe you should just concentrate on your own life for a change," Sirius said quietly as he watched their hands. He met her eyes. "And I don't mean just school, I mean... You're hilarious, at times – and so full of potential."

Lily frowned. "Potential for what?"

Sirius smiled weakly. "Just, make yourself happy before you try to make others. That's what I'm trying to say."

"I am happy," Evans said quietly and removed her hands from his. Sirius smiled sadly at her.

"Are you? You don't look happy."

"How would you know how I look when unhappy?"

"It's the same look that greets me every day in the mirror," Sirius said while not leaving her eyes. "And... I sneer to people who try to help me, because I can't aim all my energy to the one person I'd really want to."

Again, the girl frowned. "What are you trying to...?"

"I'm probably saying nothing," Black interjected while shrugging. He stood up from the bed. "As you know I always talk rubbish."

Standing hastily up, she was about to say something to him, but Sirius was already gone.

The dormitory room of the seventh year Gryffindor boys was pitch-black like always at night. Sitting on the edge of his own bed, Sirius rubbed his tired eyes, and then brought a ribbon to tie his hair into a loose bun in his neck. Without seeing anything, he grabbed his wand from the nightstand, got up, and carefully padded towards the bed right next to his.

Carefully he opened the thick velvet curtains of Lupin's four-poster, and breathed to the mumbling being, "Remus?"

When he heard nothing intelligible from the bed – only mumbling sounds – Sirius softly said "Lumos", and as his wand lightened up the bed with a glowing, pale blue light, he naturally saw the werewolf better. He stooped over him and whispered, "Remmie?"

Lupin merely turned in his place, but didn't seem to wake up. The Chocolate King had just conquered the whole of Great Britain, however. Faintly smiling, Sirius crouched next to his bed and asked again, with a bit more volume, "Remus?"

This time the geek slowly opened his eyes. "What?" He lifted his head from the pillow and squinted at the light. "Who?"

Sirius moved the light away from his eyes, and craned his neck to see Lupin better. "It's me."

"Sirius?" Remus mumbled while licking his dry lips. He tried to take in his surroundings. "What time is it?"

Black shrugged to no one for Lupin couldn't see him. "3am I guess."

"What?" The werewolf slumped back on his pillow. "Please go back to bed."

Smiling at Remus' drowsy state, Sirius whispered, "I tried to sleep but... I couldn't."

"Yes, I can see that," Lupin mumbled and brought a hand to rub his eyes. "Do you need something?"

"Are you asleep?"

Lupin now stared at him with disbelief. "Wha... No, I'm awake... I think. Although this might be a nightmare also, I'm not completely sure..."

"Oh, maybe you should get back to it then; you looked so calm before..."

With a hoarse, but undeniably louder voice Remus asked, "Sirius, what do you want?"

Black shrugged nonchalantly. "I was just wondering if I could –"

"Get in."

Beaming again, Sirius mumbled "Nox" while scampering off the floor, and he climbed over Remus to his left side. He snuggled close to him, his chest against the lycanthrope's back, arm snaking under him – the usual. Once Sirius pressed his jaw on his shoulder, Lupin mumbled groggily into his pillow, "What are you doing?"

"Snuggling."

"...Why? Just go back to sleep."

Sirius' jaw moved against Lupin's shoulder as he spoke. "I thought I heard you whimper, so this way I'm keeping you calm."

Even though he tried to sound severe, there was a smile on Remus' lips. He murmured, "I am calm, and I definitely wasn't whimpering."

"No, see, you think so because you can't really hear yourself while sleeping," Black said matter-of-factly as he strained to nuzzle closer. "I'm right in the next bed and you whine."

Lupin pressed his back against Sirius' chest, and with his cheek in his pillow he softly said, "No, I don't."

"I beg to differ," Sirius sniggered against Remus' skin while his hand was caressing the geek's stomach. "I've heard you moan on several occasions. It's rather distracting, really –"

Remus' fingers brushed the Sirius' hand, and he hummed, "Please... Just sleep, okay?"

"Why?" Sirius then asked. "Don't you like this? Don't you like me?"

"Oh Merlin, you're still so insecure."

"Am not insecure. You're insecure."

Lupin turned around in his arms. He pressed his forehead against Sirius', and practically muttered into his mouth, "Yes, I do like you. I adore you every day more and more, even though I still keep wondering why... but please..." He was unable to stifle a yawn and had to pause. "Could we just sleep for five minutes?"

"Five minutes?"

Remus nodded and closed his eyes. "Five minutes."

It ended up being five hours, but Sirius didn't mind.

The next morning Remus quietly padded towards the dormitory room bathroom, and as he saw the boy leaning against the white sink, he smiled to himself in the doorway. "James?"

"Oh, hi Moony," James mumbled as he spat the foam out of his mouth. He carefully eyed the werewolf. "You need to use the bathroom?"

"No, not really."

"All right." Potter said, but tilted his head as Remus moved nowhere. "So, you're just going to stand there and watch me to brush my teeth?"

"Yes." Remus smiled.

After gurgling his mouth, James smirked nastily, turning to the mirror. He leaned his hands on the other sides of the sink and stared at his own reflection. "Why don't you go and stare at Sirius. You're pretty good at that."

Lupin ignored him, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe. With a gentle smile, he asked, "Have you talked to Lily?"

Inspecting his face in the looking glass, James mumbled, "No."

Remus frowned. "Why not?"

"Why would I?" James muttered as he eyed Lupin through the window. He sounded oddly tired. "She never talked to me apart from the plan and now that it's done... I don't know. Even though we've started to get along, I've finally figured I should leave her alone."

"That's not you," Remus uttered and stepped closer to him, leaving the doorframe alone. He watched as James opened the faucet, stooped down over the sink, and removed his glasses to rinse his face. "You don't leave Lily Evans alone, James. You keep harassing her until she seethes and hits you with the nearest object. Remember the shoe?"

"I don't anymore," Potter mumbled through the water.

"You don't remember the shoe?"

Potter groaned as he closed the faucet. Without seeing anything, he said, "How could I forget the shoe? I mean I don't harass her anymore."

"What are you saying?" Lupin puckered his brow again. "You do still fancy her, don't you?"

Potter turned swiftly towards him. "You're not an idiot, okay, like the rest of my friends. Of course I do, but... what does it matter if she keeps turning me down? A bloke can't wait forever. I've tried 7 years, and... she's still not coming around."

"You shouldn't just give up," Remus said to him, smiling blissfully. "I know one bloke who didn't, and even though he went through the most foolish, ridiculous things ever to be imagined, he finally got what he wanted, and... every time I see him, he's seems very happy."

James practically gagged. "Oh my god, tell me you're not talking about Sirius. Please."

"I was talking about Peter," Remus tittered. "He finally managed to steal another sack of potatoes from the kitchen."

"He already ate the first one?"

Remus faintly shook his head. "It wasn't the first one, but yes, the previous one is empty."

"Three weeks?" James asked with widened eyes. "Honestly? Who eats a full sack of frigging potatoes in three weeks?"

Peter's voice bellowed from the dormitory, "I do, thanks!"

Shaking his head, Potter flailed his hands. "Whatever. I just... I have to forget her, Moony."

Suddenly Sirius popped in the doorframe, and as soon as Lupin turned to him, Black gave him a small wink. Remus smiled back.

James mumbled something inaudible at the mirror, but it probably was aimed at Sirius. Black grinned, and spoke to Remus, "Is he going to spend the entire day here in the bathroom?"

Before Lupin even opened his mouth, Potter hurried as he eyed his best friend from the mirror, "I might just need to after the things I saw this morning."

"We're adorable," Sirius noted flatly as his fingers tried to fondle Lupin's backside.

However, Remus stepped away from his touch and closer to the sink, against which Potter was still leaning. The geek asked, "What if you asked her once more?"

"What?"

"Lily. Ask her out," the werewolf elaborated as if it wasn't already clear enough. "Maybe she'll say yes this time."

Potter shook his head and opened the faucet again. "She won't."

"Don't give up now, James."

"Yeah," Sirius echoed. "Makes you very ugly."

"Bastard," James muttered to Sirius while he watered his hands. Soon enough, tongue between his lips, he tried to flatten his hair. "I've already given up, Moony. That's my new name. I've-Given-Up Potter." He glanced at them. "Has a nice ring to it, yeah?"

"No, not really, no," Black disagreed while grinning annoyingly. Potter shot him a look.

"Well, it's far better than Shirley."

Sirius grumbled, "You know very well my name is not Shirley, you tosser."

Between them Remus still tried, "James, please ask her out."

Again, Potter just shook his head.

Grinning at no one particular, Sirius said, "You know, I happen to be acquainted with one bloke who didn't give up. And after a few mishaps –"

"I've heard this once already, Shirley," Potter interjected as he finished trying to smooth out his hair. "I don't care about potatoes."

Black frowned. "I'm not a potato."

Remus turned to smile at Sirius who kept making a face at James. However, as soon as Sirius noticed Lupin eyeing him, his eyes gladly fixated on the geek. They changed a few rather impressive expressions, telling each other something James could not possibly comprehend.

What those facial expressions were about, who knew. It was a miracle if they knew.

Of course Potter found this rather suspicious. He blinked at them. "What are you two doing?"

Sirius' hand travelled to his hair innocently as his eyes left Remus alone. "You know... winking, flirting... Stuff like that."

"Please leave me out of this," Potter groaned, and dashed past them. He slogged to his trunk, and of course Black strutted behind him, Lupin in immediate tow. Remus' hand sneaked to rub his neck, and naturally Sirius' eyes caught this.

"Is it hurting again?"

"It's all right, thank you." Remus smiled at him once more. "Post-moon tension, I suppose."

Black grinned lewdly. "I'll take care of that later, then."

"Please don't, we have ears," Potter whined into his trunk. After a few minutes of rummaging through Quidditch magazines, lonesome socks and ridiculous magical objects, he found a shirt. He stood up, showing it to Remus. "Okay, Moony; why should I ask her out, anyway? I know she'll say no again, because that's what she always does." As Lupin nodded approvingly at the shirt, Potter dove into it, mumbling, "I'd be just digging myself a deeper grave and I really don't feel like doing that. The Plan is out of the question now when she's familiar with it."

"You could make her very happy," Remus said, but James only shook his head while buttoning his shirt.

"No, I couldn't. She loathes me, even though I have no idea why."

Lupin smiled. "Tell her the truth. It might do you good. She might like it."

"To tell her the truth?" James asked his tongue between his lips. "She knows I'm brilliant and funny, but she keeps ignoring the facts."

Sirius tried not to snigger. Remus poked him in the ribs and turned back to James, saying, "No, tell her you really like her."

"Why on bloody Earth would I do that?" Potter looked like he was about to explode. "Rule number one: You never tell a girl that you like her, it makes you look like an idiot."

"Eh." Sirius grinned. "So does your plan." He kindly pointed at himself. "Exhibit A."

Remus swiftly crossed his arms, and his pose made him look exactly like a disapproving mother. "James, this extremely frustrating attitude you have these days is killing our buzz. We," he continued while pointing at himself and Sirius, "are in a rather febrile state and we need peace and quiet to... concentrate. So, you need to stop whinging and do something about this."

Sirius and Potter both stared at him with gaping mouths. James asked, "Did you just say buzz?"

"We need to concentrate?" Sirius asked, licking his lips.

After Remus only gave him a rather informative glance, Sirius turned swiftly to James. "Yeah, okay, this is what we'll do. If you won't ask the bird out, today, I'm going to shag this bloke," he gestured towards Remus, "so frigging hard that you, James, won't sleep for three years."

Potter now goggled at Sirius with wide eyes, and it should be mentioned that so did Remus. James looked like he was about to faint from fright, Remus as if he was about to wolf Sirius alive. (A rather accurate statement.)

Peter had long ago fainted on the floor, but they didn't even see him.

Black asked, "All right?"

With wide eyes, Potter nodded quickly. "Okay."

He clicked his dry tongue free from his palate, and distantly felt his forehead pressing against something warm.

Frowning slightly, Remus opened his eyes. All he saw was a nipple.

"Morning," the nipple said to him.

"Hey," Remus mumbled groggily back and felt how Sirius' hand moved behind his back to pull him upwards and even closer, although that was actually not even possible. He knew that if he had been any closer to Sirius, they would've been grown together. Remus wouldn't have minded that, though. He asked, "Did you sleep?"

"Oh yes," Sirius smiled happily and held him close. "I slept soundly. It was warm and cosy right here."

"It was?" Lupin chuckled slightly. "I thought it to be a bit too... Er –"

"Hmm?" Black purred and kissed the werewolf's forehead. "Distracting? Sexy?"

"Sweaty," Lupin mumbled. "Sweltering even."

"Oh, I show you sweaty."

Remus tried not to squirm as Sirius gently let go off his sides and went lower and lower, while bussing him constantly. As the guy reached his slightly protruding clavicle, he started to unbutton Remus' pyjama top.

"What are you doing?" Remus whispered as Sirius' hands brushed his stomach. The Animagus left a wet trail of kisses on his ribcage, then lifted his head and grinned at Remus.

"Kissing you?"

"You could kiss my lips." Lupin sucked in air. "They're up here."

"I wanted to try something else for a change." Sirius smiled and kissed him below his belly button. His fingers were already playing with the waistband of Lupin's pyjama bottoms. "So I'm going down to meet your friend."

"Sirius... no," Lupin muttered feebly. "It's... It's 8am."

"Oh, I know. I'll have to be quick, and you'll have to be very, very quiet."

Remus had to bit his lips not to whimper because Sirius' hot breath over the fabric of his clothing was doing something magical to him.

Why, of course it was. They were in Hogwarts, after all.

However, just as Sirius licked his way under the waistband, they heard a voice. "Sirius?"

Black's eyes were on Remus's face a nanosecond later, but otherwise he did not falter. As he saw Remus shake his head to him, Sirius merely smirked mischievously.

James continued behind the curtains, "Padfoot, you're awake?"

Naturally Sirius couldn't answer – his mouth was rather busy soundlessly giggling against Lupin's clothing covered crotch. Also he wasn't exactly in his own bed.

"He's not here. Where the bloody hell is he? Pete, has Sirius gone to breakfast?"

Remus tried not to moan when the boy's tongue moved against him like a snake on hot sand – sliding slowly, and every now and then hopping in the air.

Potter had to ask, "Moony, are you awake?"

In a rather sophisticated fashion Remus answered, "Ngh."

"Oh, sorry. I just thought I heard Sirius talk in his sleep again. He hasn't bothered you by any chance?"

As Remus yanked his hair a bit, Sirius reluctantly left his crotch alone and moved to kiss the werewolf's stomach instead. Lupin pressed his hands to cover his eyes as he quietly as possible grunted, "No... Hng, he hasn't."

"Are you all right?" James' voice came closer.

Remus quickly backed on the bed and tried to sit up, but Sirius was practically lying on top of him, so it was a tad difficult for him. Flushing, Remus strained to push him away, but naturally failed. Sirius moved on him until their faces met, and as Remus spoke, he was breathing against Black's lips. "Just uh... waking up. Let me... be alone, okay?"

"Sure, whatever."

Black pecked the werewolf and said, "You're not alone."

"Sirius?"

"Bollocks."

"Where are you?"

Sirius snorted while considerately munching on Remus' neck. "Under the sodding sink, you idiot."

Potter rather indiscreetly decided to open the curtains, but as he witnessed Sirius' whereabouts – on the werewolf, his mouth on... everything – and saw how red Lupin was, he pulled the curtains close again while grunting, "Oh, how I hate you."

"I love you, too," Sirius grinned at Remus while speaking to the curtains.

"Why didn't you say not to disturb? You mother–"

"You're always disturbing," Sirius barked. Lupin was now merely covering his face from embarrassment. "It's in your nature, James."

"No, it's not," James groaned. "I was... trying to find you, because I had a dream about a prank."

"That's nice." Sirius smiled and kissed Remus. "We'll be out in a minute; we just need to finish this."

They heard James leave to the bathroom, muttering oh-gods under his breath. Lupin bit his lip while staring at Sirius, who clearly had no intensions of getting off him.

Remus breathed, "We need to... get ready for school –"

Leaning closer, Sirius grinned in his usual way. He pressed a light kiss on the corner of Remus' mouth, and cooed, "Not yet."

Oddly enough, the werewolf forgot what he was thinking few seconds earlier; his hands were already behind Sirius' head, pulling him closer and guiding him as if Sirius didn't know where to go, or what to do.

Yeah, right.

As he was kissing Remus, Sirius' fingers wandered on his ribs, tickling him and making him quiver and shake like Peter before Professor McGonagall, and even though Sirius knew Lupin had difficulties not to giggle when he was tickled, Sirius made bloody sure no voices escaped the werewolf's mouth.

Sirius swallowed them all.

His right hand was travelling fatefully towards Remus' crotch in atween them to rekindle the spark of the incipient friendship towards which he had blown hot air previously that morning.

Lupin was whimpering and whining, but no one heard a sound from him for a certain someone guaranteed that his voice died under theirs.

"Moony?" Peter's voice quipped rather close behind Lupin's curtains.

It didn't take even a second from Sirius the Two-Handed to depart from the kiss and to look like he was seriously contemplating whether to keep groping the geek or to strangle Peter.

To everyone's good fortune, he did neither. Lupin slowly licked his puffy lips as he felt Sirius remove the hand from his groin. He mumbled hoarsely to the curtain, "Yes?"

Sirius rolled off the werewolf and grumbled into a pillow, "Remmie, why do our friends hate us?"

"Prongs told me to ask you," Peter's voice said and, of course, he opened the curtains. "Is today the day when – Are you all right?"

Trying to smoothen out his hair, Remus smiled tensely. Only then he realised his shirt was open, and quickly he tried to cover himself. "Yes."

"You're more red than usual," Pettigrew noted helpfully. "Does this have something to do with the fact that you're a –"

Rapidly Sirius got up. "We know he's a werewolf, Pete! How thick are you?"

Remus was rubbing his face as if it was going to make him less flushed, when Peter shrugged. "It depends on how you look at me. No, I meant that Moony being red probably has something to do with the fact that he's the most womanly of us."

Now Remus stared at him. "I'm what?"

"Can I use Tentaclifors on him?" Black beseeched the werewolf. "Please."

"Not yet," Lupin answered without leaving Peter's eyes. He hauled himself up to sit properly on the bed. "I'm womanly? Who thinks I'm womanly, Peter?"

The boy rubbed his nose. "You remember the day when Padfoot told you?"

"Told me what?" Remus asked and turned to Sirius. "What is he talking about?"

Sirius had slumped back on the pillow. "The pie."

Characteristically, Lupin frowned. "How does that have anything to do with me supposedly being –"

"A pie?" Peter interjected. "No, I mean when he told you about his, eh – his romantic feelings. Ugh."

"One more ugh and I will turn you into an armchair," Black warned Pettigrew while pointing a long finger at him. "And then I will sit on you, all day long, every day, until you have an arse print on your face."

Remus quieted Sirius with a simple wave of hand. "Peter, please carry on."

"Yeah, er." Peter turned his wide eyes from Sirius' seething face to Lupin's calmer one. "That day we established that –"

"You established," Sirius corrected, but no one heard him. "There's a difference."

Still looking at Remus, Peter continued, "That since you do all kinds of rather feminine stuff, we came to the conclusion that you must be a bird."

Black buried his head under the pillow and groaned from there, "You came to that conclusion, Pete."

Concernedly eyeing Peter, Remus noted, "I'm not a woman, Peter. You know that."

"Are you sure?" Pettigrew questioned him while crossing his arms. "Because I read this article –"

Emerging once again from under the pillow, Sirius began to lunge towards Pettigrew, but somehow Remus managed to halt him. So, lying on Lupin's lap, Sirius smirked to Peter. "He is a man, all right; I've made sure of it."

"Sirius –"

Black still grinned. "You know how I know that, Pete? Because I have checked his –"

"Lalalala!" a horrified Peter yelled while taking a step back. He pulled the curtains shut, and by the sound of it, he was running away from the four-poster. "Ajksfjfy!"

"What was that?" Remus hollered after the running rat. "Peter, didn't you want to ask me something?"

Naturally he got no answer.

They heard James chortle in the bathroom, and Sirius turned to look at the werewolf. "Bloody Potter..."

"It's understandable," Remus said to him, flashing an affectionate smile. "He's absolutely miserable."

"Yeah, that's exactly why we have to sneak around," Sirius complained whilst nuzzling Lupin's lap. "Even though I wish to do otherwise. He's harrying us on purpose. I don't like it."

Playing with Sirius' hair Remus suddenly said, "You should talk to Lily."

Sirius stared at him. "Come again?"

"I'll talk to James, make him ask her out again, and... when he does, you've already talked to her. Deal?"

"You thick or something?" Black groaned as he tumbled off Remus. He sat on his legs and stared at the lycanthrope. "Me talking to Lily? You want me dead?"

"You're basically a conman," Remus uttered, still smiling amiably at him. "Figure something out. Make her feel bad for all this and practically push her to the point she'll say yes to James. I don't care."

"There was a point when I wanted to push her down the stairs."

"What?"

"Nothing," Sirius hurried and moved to lean against the headboard of the bed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but she's not stupid, you know."

Remus cocked his head. "You wanted to retaliate. Consider this as it."

"Hey, Lily?"

Like the whole day of that day, it was still Friday as James walked over to Lily after the theory class of Potions that morning. She was loitering – no, Lily Evans didn't loiter; she was taking in the surroundings by the Charms classroom with a few of her friends.

While he had been walking towards the girl, James had been hoping two simple things: one, that Lily would not kick him in the goolies or hex him that day. Two, that Lily would not hex his goolies that day.

He was still wishing these as she turned around. She smiled at him. "Hi."

James peered over her shoulder at her friends. They looked at him, rather chilled. "Er, can I talk to you a bit?"

"Of course."

One of her friends shrieked, "What is it, an arsehole day?"

Lily turned to her friends and smiled apologetically. "I'll be back before Professor Flitwick comes."

When her friends stayed there gawping after them as they walked to a more secluded place, James easily heard one of them say, "Didn't she say she hated that bloke?"

Immediately Lily smiled at James who was frowning and keeping his eyes on the floor. "Hate is such a strong word..."

The hallway in which they stopped was not far from the Charms classroom, but it was secluded enough for James to ask his question in peace. In addition, since there was no one around, if Lily would attack him with something besides her lips, he'd have to yell with all his might to get help.

He was ready for that.

Potter briefly licked his lips and said, "Okay, I know you don't like chitter-chatter, so I'll go straight into business."

"All right." Evans nodded.

"All right." James inhaled and tried to blurt all out at once, "Would you go out with me tomorrow?"

Lily blinked. "What? Tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Her hand found her neck. She strained not to stare at his brown eyes, but found it also rather difficult to leave them alone. Lily whispered, "Tomorrow's Saturday, James."

James ogled at her back. "...I know. Moony has a calendar."

Lily bit her lip and attempted to smile at the same time. "Saturday is our day off."

"So is Sunday," Potter breathed as if he was telling her a secret. "We have two days off... Yay?"

"Are you sure you want to spend your free time with me?"

James changed his weight from one leg to the other and shoved his hands into his pockets. "What do you mean?"

The girl shrugged. A wisp of hair fell on her face, and she had to sweep it behind her ear. "Don't you want to study for... NEWTs, or something? Free time is a great time for studying."

Shaking his head, James said gravely, "There's no such thing as a great time for studying. Besides, the tests are not that important."

"I'd say they're rather important. For your future, James?"

Without hesitating he said, "So is our date."

Lily stared at him. She tried to say something, but wasn't able to. James only kept his eyes on her during the long seconds she was mulling over her words. "Why... Why would you even want to go out with someone who you consider to be a total killjoy?"

"You know as well as I do that's a shoddy argument," James huffed. "Sirius is in love with his grinch, remember? Why can I be with mine?"

"But they're not..."

James frowned. "They're not what?"

The girl mimicked a fish on dry land in front of him. Evans blinked. "Nothing. I thought... I'm sorry, what was the question?"

He placed his hands carefully on each of Lily's shoulder. James sighed, and asked, "Would you go out with me tomorrow?"

"Yes."

Hanging his head, Potter shoved his hands back into his pockets and grunted while taking a step back. "You know, I was kind of expecting that, even though I had a vibe that today you might say yes –"

"James, I said yes."

Potter stared at her again. "You what?"

She exhaled and crossed her arms on her chest. "I said yes."

"You're not pranking me, are you?"

"Not really my area of expertise." Lily smiled at him. "I'm better at Potions."

James fought a huge smile. Lily drew the same wisp of hair from her face behind her ear. She tilted her head. "You can cheer if you want."

Potter grinned now. "What? I'm not going to cheer. I mean – I'll probably do that later. So... er, it was nice talking to you, Ms Evans. Er, see you... tomorrow then, yeah? At 1pm, perhaps?"

"James," Lily said softly while staring at him fidget on his place. "You do realise that it's noon and we will see each other later today? Most likely at Charms which starts right about now?"

Potter pointed out, "Or – I might wake up soon, so..."

James grinned once more and turned away from the girl who was just shaking her head.

Sirius was sitting behind Remus, his legs on each side of the werewolf, and his fingers dancing on his back. It didn't probably matter what day was it or how late, the point is that they were alone in the dormitory; drapes drawn tightly shut as they sat on Remus' bed and a Muffliato spell hanging around them, making sure nothing they let out left the four-poster.

Sirius' fingers carefully lingered above Lupin's right arm, close enough to feel the warmth but not touching. He breathed, "I've dreamt about this, you know."

"You have?" Remus asked while his hand gently stroked Sirius' leg.

"Many times." Sirius grinned at his neck. "Some of the dreams were more vivid than the others, but they were there nevertheless. Making me... feel things. You've never seen a dream about me?"

"I have," Remus admitted. "But not in this very context. I think."

For a moment they just were quiet, Sirius' fingers now lightly grazing Lupin's scars – actually touching them. Every time they changed their place, though, Remus gasped.

"This here," Sirius murmured and ran his forefinger along the rosy, thick mark between the werewolf's shoulder blades, making Remus inhale abruptly. "Do you feel this?"

Remus tried not to move. He whispered, "Of course I do."

"Does it feel the same as this?" Black then asked and touched another scar, one on the boy's shoulder. Remus frowned.

"No."

"So it's different from the others?"

"Probably." Lupin nodded and lowered his head, while Sirius kept softly touching his back. "For it's the first one I got."

"Really?" Sirius marvelled and stared at the mark. "How come it's this visible then?"

Whilst taking Sirius' other hand between his, Remus chuckled. "Maybe because it's the first one I got?"

Again the fingers slid on the scar. "Oh."

"I hate it," the werewolf continued as he glanced at Sirius over his shoulder. "This might sound stupid, but it gets quite sensitive before full moon, and it just keeps reminding me about myself. Not that I'd even be able to forget, but it's rather unnerving nevertheless."

"Maybe we could," Black breathed and scooted a bit closer, pressing his jaw on Remus' shoulder – like it was becoming a habit of his – and snaking both of his arms around his waist. "Associate it with something else?"

Now sniggering, Remus told him, "It has had a rather strong connection with the full moon the past 12 years, Sirius, you cannot change it."

Sirius smirked and pressed a kiss on his neck. "Oh yeah? Watch me."

In the Charms class, James almost tumbled as he sat down next to Sirius to tell him the good news. Granted, Black had previously sat with Remus, but since neither of them had been able to concentrate, Lupin had begged the professor to give them both new partners.

Remus had chosen Peter, even though there had been a few Hufflepuffs who would have loved to have him as a partner. It was another of those Hogwarts mysteries why they had lowered their hands before Lupin could have even seen them.

Oh, and Sirius was stuck with James.

Why did Professor Flitwick think this was a good idea, you ask? Not even Dumbledore could be able to answer that question.

Potter said nothing, only stared at his best friend with wide eyes. Fingering his wand, Sirius shook his head. "What?"

"Pinch me."

"Have you eaten cabbages again?" Sirius asked while eyeing Lupin across the classroom. "What do you think of that Hufflepuff bird? She keeps ogling at my Remmie even though he's not interested in her."

"I don't care," James mumbled. "Hit me."

"I don't want to hit you," Sirius then barked. He lowered his wand on the table and glanced quickly at their professor who was hopping on a stand in front of the classroom. "I mean... I do, but not now."

"Then pinch me, please," Potter pleaded. "Sirius – OOUAA!" He shrieked in such a volume the walls of the classroom shook. Flitwick had fallen from his podium. While everyone was staring at them, James groaned to Sirius, "Utter bastard! What are you, crazy?"

Everyone, meaning the whole classroom except Lupin who was trying to hide under his textbook so no one would make any connections between him and the two loonies, was staring at them.

"You didn't specify the place." Sirius smirked as he watched James rub his long nose. He glared around the classroom. "What?"

No one was interested anymore. Professor Flitwick had climbed back to his stand, and was now doing something that looked alarmingly similar to inhale-exhale-exercises.

Black eyed his friend. "What's the matter with you anyway?"

"Sirius," James muttered with low voice as he muttered the three magical words, "she said yes."

"She said yes?"

Potter nodded gravely. "Yes."

Patting his shoulder, Sirius nodded. "Good for you."

This made James' nostrils flare like never before, which was quite an achievement. "Good for you?" he lowly growled. "Seven years, and good for you?"

Sirius stared at Remus, who was staring at the professor. As Lupin lifted his wand, Sirius did the same – because let's face it, it was easier for him to keep his eyes on the werewolf than on the professor. "Yeah, that was basically what you told me when I told you about Remmie." He glanced at James. "Three years and Seriously, Moony?"

James took his wand from his pocket. "Well, at least I am going to marry my geek."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, whatever."

"No, I'm dead serious –"

Turning to James, Sirius quickly said, "Can I just interrupt you here?"

"Sure."

Black nodded and turned back to staring at the geek. "Cheers."

"Pleasure," James mumbled and lifted his wand to imitate whatever Sirius was doing. "But when I will, marry her that is, you shall be eating those words as my best man."

Sirius frowned. "What words?"

"I don't know, but my point is that you'd better start getting along with her. You're going to make a toast in our wedding, and it's not going to be about hating her. If it is, I'm going to drown you in the cake."

"You're seriously going to take me as your best man?"

"Of course," James muttered. "No matter how much of a bastard you are, you still hold a special place in my heart."

"Sometimes I wish my mother had said that." Sirius smiled to himself as he lowered his wand on the table. "But I am the best, aren't I? The most brilliant bloke in the whole world."

"I'm brilliant, too," Potter said quietly, and puffed out his chest. "I got her all by myself. Without any plans!"

"You just keep thinking that." Black smirked and swung his arm around his best friend. "What matters now is that we did it. We did what no one has ever managed to do before – we tamed the untameable. We're kings, my precious brother."

Potter pondered this. "Yeah... we did. We are rather dazzling!"

"Mr Black, Mr Potter," Professor Flitwick's voice squealed from somewhere. "This is not the time to practise dancing, we are hoping to turn this half-eaten potato into a –"

From their different tables, Lily and Remus both watched as James and Sirius giggled idiotically with each other.

Both of them were probably thinking the same thing.

Why.

A/N: This is complete now. I hope everyone had fun at least once whilst reading this. Leave a comment if you have the time, and I shall love you forever.

Thanks. xoxo

PS. A bonus chapter is a possibility. Y/N?