Title: Unfixable
Dislaimer: I don't own LOST... Somebody else does... I just like to play with their characters... And their dialogue...
Note: This is my first ever fanfic... Please be gentle!
Also... thanks for the kind reviews... the more you review, the faster I post new stuff...
My eyes stared past Jack, my thoughts weighing heavily on not what he'd done with Ana Lucia, what I'd done. "I'm going to walk for a little while," I said softly, pushing myself up from the sand. Jack's expression was hurt, like I was angry at him for what he'd done. Had he forgotten what I did while we were still married! I screwed another guy, moved away for him. I couldn't bear to look at him, so I turned away, heading down the beach, letting the water wash over my bare feet. I swallowed back the tears that welled in my eyes and throat, but that didn't stop a few from escaping and wiggling down my cheek. I was so stupid; Jack loved me. He'd already forgiven me for cheating on him. Why was I letting this get to me? Relief? Maybe I was relieved because he'd done something stupid as well. It made us equal… "Sarah! Sarah, wait!" I turned back to see Jack jogging towards me. I inhaled deeply as he threw his arms around me, scooping me up in his embrace. I don't deserve you. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything with Ana Lucia. I love you, and only you…" Why are you apologizing! I should be apologizing to you…I never have for the terrible things I did to you, and you're still here…?
FLASHBACK
Standing at the sink, washing dishes, I kept my eyes on the two sisters playing in the front yard. "They're cute, but don't let that sweet face fool you," Treva said joining me to help dry, "Trust me, I birthed them. Looks can be deceiving." I laughed, shaking my head. "Treve, they are precious! And you know it. I love listening to them call me 'Aunt Sarah'," I said grinning. "Yeah, they only do it because they want something-and they know you'll cave in and give it to them." Finishing the dishes, I dried my hands on a dishtowel and walked out onto the porch with Treva. "Thank you," I said after a moment of sitting in the sun. "For what? Letting you baby-sit my children and spoil them?" she asked, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. "For just letting me stay here. I know Will kind of wants me to move out…" "Forget Will. You take up, what, like one small room in our house? Please. Besides, I love having you here. My life's been such a bore without some friends," she said, smirking. "Oh, please, Treva," I said waving my hand at the two girls running around the backyard, "How could they be boring?" The doorbell suddenly interrupted my thoughts, and my heart jumped a little. It'd been several months since I'd moved to Australia, in search of James, but when he never came around, I had given up. But every time the doorbell rang, the thoughts jumped to my head. "I'll get it…" Treva said rising. "No, let me. You stay with the girls. Go run around with them…" I said with a smile. I could hear Treva laughing as I strode to the front door. Swinging it open, my eyes widened, the smile falling from my features. "Sarah?" I found myself gazing up into Jack Shephard's eyes, as warm and passionate as they had been when I'd left him, standing dumbfounded and emotionally wrought in the kitchen, months ago. A shiver ran up my spine, followed by my muscles tightening. "What are you doing here, Jack? I told you…" "I was in Australia for…looking for my dad." My heart pulled a little at Jack's response. Christian had always been a great guy to me, but I did know that towards the end of Jack and my marriage, he'd developed a severe drinking problem. See where it gets you? "Anyway, I looked you up, through a friend…" Will. "…and I wanted to come see you." Jack stumbled over the words, his cheeks flushing bright red. "Jack, I don't want to see you. I told you that when we divorced…" His shoulders slumped forward, making him look way beyond his age. Actually, studying his face, he looked way beyond his age. His face was lined with worry, and dark circles surrounded his once stunning brown eyes. "Sarah, I…I was…everything I did was wrong. I made a mistake. I made a mistake…and this is my fault. It's my fault that you and me…I wasn't there, Sarah, I mean…we didn't even talk anymore. I hate every moment of what's happening, what happened to us, and I swear, if you'll give me the chance, I promise things will be different. I'm gonna…I'm going to work less. I'm gonna be here for you. Okay? I want to fix this. I want to go back to the way things were. I want to fix this," he finished, exhaling deeply, relieved that he'd gotten it all out. I bit my lip, trying not to scream. "I don't want to do back to the way we were. I don't ever want to go back there. I'm done trying to fix things with you. I'm done relying on your empty promises of fixing things. I don't want to see you here, ever again," I spat, my voice seething with some unbridled hatred that flared within me. I moved to close the door, but Jack held his hand up, and I almost gasped at the drastic change in his facial expression. His eyes were cold and empty, detached from me. A stony, hard rigid complexion had fallen across his face, shadowed only by a bitterness that hung over him. "You have to," he said, his voice low and almost demonic, "The divorce isn't finalized. You have to go back to L.A. to end this." Reaching in his suit coat, he pulled out a plane ticket, tossing it at me as he turned to leave. "It leaves tomorrow," he stated, storming back to his rental car.
END FLASHBACK
My arms finally regained some movement, and they clutched Jack so tightly to my body, I almost couldn't breathe. "I'm sorry, Jack," I whispered, burying my face in his shoulder. "I should have…I need to apologize for the things I did…I never loved anyone else. When I cheated…when I cheated on you, I was…I was angry and empty, but that doesn't give me an excuse…" "Do you love me now?" he asked, pulling me back to look him in the eyes. "God yes," I said, crashing my lips into his. It kind of hurt my cheek, but I didn't care. I had Jack, in my arms, holding me, saying that he loved me, kissing me. "Then that's all that matters to me," he said as we broke away. "That's all that ever mattered."
Please R and R! Please! Please! Please!