****
I remember a time when I wanted more excitement in my life than what podunk Roswell could provide. I can't help but laugh at myself as I go out back to put the trash in the dumpster. I actually stop for a break right next to the dumpster. How pathetic am I that I'm relaxing by a really smelly garbage place. But I suppose that when you're trying to escape a group of people with special powers, taking a breather, not that I'm doing much breathing, by the trash isn't so freaky.
I swear sometimes I would kill to have my life back. How nice would it be to be a normal girl again? Very, very nice indeed. Then again I never was exactly normal. Cypress oil and all, plus a mom who runs a semi-new age shop and sells alien themed novelty items to businesses around Roswell. Still, my life was more normal than it is now. Without aliens. Without Lizzie. Seeing as how without the aliens and their special powers my Lizzie would be dead, I guess I can handle not being normal. Mom always said normal is overrated anyway.
These are the things I think as I stand by the garbage, taking a break. Aliens and vampires and witches and visions and vampire slayers. Or vampire slayer, should I say? In the singular. It's kind of overwhelming when I think of all of it. Everybody else seemed perfectly okay with the idea of vampires and demons, but I'm not quite sure I can get my head around the idea yet. I'm sure I'll be okay in time. After all, it only took me a day to accept aliens, vampires can't be too far off. Oh I would so be institutionalized if I ever tried to talk about this stuff in public. Can you imagine? "Hey Mom, there's something I need to talk to you about." I'd be locked up in a heartbeat, and they'd throw away the key. It's wackiness, I tell you. Pure wackiness.
"You know, you should really get inside."
"Jesus!" I jump about a mile as I turn to see Angel coming up the alley. "Can't you make any noise? You scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry, but the quietness comes along with the whole vampire thing."
"Well for godsake, hum or something. I've survived sci-fi movie like trauma. I don't wanna die from a heart attack."
"I don't hum. Or whistle although you certainly aren't the first person to suggest such a thing. You really should be inside. It's not safe out here."
"That's nothing new. Hasn't been safe out here for a really long time, or at least it feels like a really long time. Besides, nothing has happened."
"Doesn't matter. You should be inside in case something does happen."
"I'm taking a break. I'll go inside when I'm ready to." Which, if I had to admit it, would be never. Michael is in there, and it hurts to be around him right now. I miss him. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna tell him that. Hell no.
"Fine. I'll wait with you."
"Fine."
I look over at him and he's leaning against the building, coat billowing in the breeze with a slight scowl on his face. Good god, he's sexy. He looks like something from a cheesy porn movie. Not that I've ever seen a cheesy porn movie or anything. I'm just imagining. Oh god! I'm not imagining, imagining. Angel in porn. Okay DeLuca. Mind out of the gutter.
"You do that well." I blurt out. If I don't talk soon my mind is gonna take me to places that it should not be. A sexual fantasy about a vampire. Sheesh. Then again, I've had a number of fantasies about a particular alien...
"What?"
"Huh?"
"What is it that I do well?"
"Oh. You sulk well. I thought Michael had the art of sulking mastered to its finest, but I think you might have him beat. But maybe you don't sulk. I think you're more of a brooder. So that's what you do well. You brood."
"So they tell me."
"Since you're not gonna let me have a moment's peace."
"Hey I'm not bothering you. I'm just watching to make sure you're safe."
"But see that's kind of creepy so I can't just sit there and know that you're there watching. It's too weird. I get the sense that you're not much of a talker, but since you won't let me have my break alone I'm gonna make you talk to me. Did that make any sense? Because I suddenly realized there was much Maria logic in there and not everybody speaks Maria logic."
He smiles a little half smile and oh my god, it's so sexy. My insides melt a little bit. "Actually," he shakes his head in amusement. "It made perfect sense. I speak Cordy logic which is actually quite similar to Maria logic. What do you want to talk about."
I look at him standing there all romance novel coverish, romance novels are much better than porn movies because at least I don't audio as well as visual images, and all I can do for that moment is picture throwing myself at him. But that will never do because like I was telling Isabel I get the Buffy and Angel sexual vibe thing and Buffy could so kick my ass. So, hmmm. What should I talk to him about? "So you're a vampire huh?"
"Yeah." From the look on his face, I can tell he has no clue where I'm going with this. Truth be told, neither do I.
"How is that?" Dumb Maria dumb. You should have stuck with the silence.
"Well I'm dead and inhabited by a demon. I've killed thousands of people and can never know true love. Now I'm working for redemption by trying to help the hopeless. How do this it is?"
"Okay sorry. *Really* stupid question, I know this. But you'll have to forgive me. My experience is in talking with aliens, not vampires."
"It's okay. Just talk to me like you would anyone else."
"I can try that. So if you're dead, how old are you? Just curious. I've never met a dead person before."
"I'm somewhere around 250."
"Wow you look good for your age."
"Thanks."
We settle back into the silence and I'm surprised that this time I'm actually comfortable with it. I don't even feel antsy, knowing that there is someone there just watching me. Although it is kind of eerie how, when the street light above the alley flickers out, Angel just blends into the darkness.
I am beyond shocked when Angel initiates a conversation with me. "About the aliens."
I shift in the alley trying to at least find a face in the darkness. Someone that I can talk back to. Angel must know what I'm doing because he steps forward, into the moonlight so I can see him. "What about them?"
"Can they be trusted?"
"Of course they can be trusted. They've saved our lives more times than I can count. Plus, we endanger them more than they endanger us. There are people out there that would kill to get their hands on them to do experiments and what-not. I trust them completely."
"Sorry. I had to ask one more time. Thank you. What about that Michael guy?"
Oh Angel's jealous. He must have sensed the Buffy and Michael flirtage. I'm with you brother. I feel your pain. "Michael?" I laugh, heartily. It can't be helped. "He never hurt anyone. Except for the FBI agent who was gonna kill them so he killed him and even that was an accident." I add under my breath. "And me. He likes to hurt me, but that's just his version of fun."
"I'm...."
Angel is getting ready to say something when we're interrupted by a cry of pain. Major pain. Angel jumps to attention. "Cordy?" He runs to the door and rushes inside, and I'm right behind him.
****
I remember a time when I wanted more excitement in my life than what podunk Roswell could provide. I can't help but laugh at myself as I go out back to put the trash in the dumpster. I actually stop for a break right next to the dumpster. How pathetic am I that I'm relaxing by a really smelly garbage place. But I suppose that when you're trying to escape a group of people with special powers, taking a breather, not that I'm doing much breathing, by the trash isn't so freaky.
I swear sometimes I would kill to have my life back. How nice would it be to be a normal girl again? Very, very nice indeed. Then again I never was exactly normal. Cypress oil and all, plus a mom who runs a semi-new age shop and sells alien themed novelty items to businesses around Roswell. Still, my life was more normal than it is now. Without aliens. Without Lizzie. Seeing as how without the aliens and their special powers my Lizzie would be dead, I guess I can handle not being normal. Mom always said normal is overrated anyway.
These are the things I think as I stand by the garbage, taking a break. Aliens and vampires and witches and visions and vampire slayers. Or vampire slayer, should I say? In the singular. It's kind of overwhelming when I think of all of it. Everybody else seemed perfectly okay with the idea of vampires and demons, but I'm not quite sure I can get my head around the idea yet. I'm sure I'll be okay in time. After all, it only took me a day to accept aliens, vampires can't be too far off. Oh I would so be institutionalized if I ever tried to talk about this stuff in public. Can you imagine? "Hey Mom, there's something I need to talk to you about." I'd be locked up in a heartbeat, and they'd throw away the key. It's wackiness, I tell you. Pure wackiness.
"You know, you should really get inside."
"Jesus!" I jump about a mile as I turn to see Angel coming up the alley. "Can't you make any noise? You scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry, but the quietness comes along with the whole vampire thing."
"Well for godsake, hum or something. I've survived sci-fi movie like trauma. I don't wanna die from a heart attack."
"I don't hum. Or whistle although you certainly aren't the first person to suggest such a thing. You really should be inside. It's not safe out here."
"That's nothing new. Hasn't been safe out here for a really long time, or at least it feels like a really long time. Besides, nothing has happened."
"Doesn't matter. You should be inside in case something does happen."
"I'm taking a break. I'll go inside when I'm ready to." Which, if I had to admit it, would be never. Michael is in there, and it hurts to be around him right now. I miss him. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna tell him that. Hell no.
"Fine. I'll wait with you."
"Fine."
I look over at him and he's leaning against the building, coat billowing in the breeze with a slight scowl on his face. Good god, he's sexy. He looks like something from a cheesy porn movie. Not that I've ever seen a cheesy porn movie or anything. I'm just imagining. Oh god! I'm not imagining, imagining. Angel in porn. Okay DeLuca. Mind out of the gutter.
"You do that well." I blurt out. If I don't talk soon my mind is gonna take me to places that it should not be. A sexual fantasy about a vampire. Sheesh. Then again, I've had a number of fantasies about a particular alien...
"What?"
"Huh?"
"What is it that I do well?"
"Oh. You sulk well. I thought Michael had the art of sulking mastered to its finest, but I think you might have him beat. But maybe you don't sulk. I think you're more of a brooder. So that's what you do well. You brood."
"So they tell me."
"Since you're not gonna let me have a moment's peace."
"Hey I'm not bothering you. I'm just watching to make sure you're safe."
"But see that's kind of creepy so I can't just sit there and know that you're there watching. It's too weird. I get the sense that you're not much of a talker, but since you won't let me have my break alone I'm gonna make you talk to me. Did that make any sense? Because I suddenly realized there was much Maria logic in there and not everybody speaks Maria logic."
He smiles a little half smile and oh my god, it's so sexy. My insides melt a little bit. "Actually," he shakes his head in amusement. "It made perfect sense. I speak Cordy logic which is actually quite similar to Maria logic. What do you want to talk about."
I look at him standing there all romance novel coverish, romance novels are much better than porn movies because at least I don't audio as well as visual images, and all I can do for that moment is picture throwing myself at him. But that will never do because like I was telling Isabel I get the Buffy and Angel sexual vibe thing and Buffy could so kick my ass. So, hmmm. What should I talk to him about? "So you're a vampire huh?"
"Yeah." From the look on his face, I can tell he has no clue where I'm going with this. Truth be told, neither do I.
"How is that?" Dumb Maria dumb. You should have stuck with the silence.
"Well I'm dead and inhabited by a demon. I've killed thousands of people and can never know true love. Now I'm working for redemption by trying to help the hopeless. How do this it is?"
"Okay sorry. *Really* stupid question, I know this. But you'll have to forgive me. My experience is in talking with aliens, not vampires."
"It's okay. Just talk to me like you would anyone else."
"I can try that. So if you're dead, how old are you? Just curious. I've never met a dead person before."
"I'm somewhere around 250."
"Wow you look good for your age."
"Thanks."
We settle back into the silence and I'm surprised that this time I'm actually comfortable with it. I don't even feel antsy, knowing that there is someone there just watching me. Although it is kind of eerie how, when the street light above the alley flickers out, Angel just blends into the darkness.
I am beyond shocked when Angel initiates a conversation with me. "About the aliens."
I shift in the alley trying to at least find a face in the darkness. Someone that I can talk back to. Angel must know what I'm doing because he steps forward, into the moonlight so I can see him. "What about them?"
"Can they be trusted?"
"Of course they can be trusted. They've saved our lives more times than I can count. Plus, we endanger them more than they endanger us. There are people out there that would kill to get their hands on them to do experiments and what-not. I trust them completely."
"Sorry. I had to ask one more time. Thank you. What about that Michael guy?"
Oh Angel's jealous. He must have sensed the Buffy and Michael flirtage. I'm with you brother. I feel your pain. "Michael?" I laugh, heartily. It can't be helped. "He never hurt anyone. Except for the FBI agent who was gonna kill them so he killed him and even that was an accident." I add under my breath. "And me. He likes to hurt me, but that's just his version of fun."
"I'm...."
Angel is getting ready to say something when we're interrupted by a cry of pain. Major pain. Angel jumps to attention. "Cordy?" He runs to the door and rushes inside, and I'm right behind him.
****