A/N: This is becoming a frequent occurrence (unlike my updates), but yeah, sorry for the delay. In the past one month, I've read like six - seven books, and, well, I love books, so I got a little carried away. Reading is absolutely essential to improve one's writing, so wouldn't you be happy if my writing improved? :)

Thank you, thank you for the awesome reviews! :D

Anyway, I've tried my hands at Mondler angst in this chapter. The contents might be disturbing for some people, ergo, I'd suggest reader discretion.

Forever and a Day

Chapter 13

Chandler tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable, but the light coming from beneath the door bothered him. His eyes opened reluctantly, and the first thing he noticed was that he was alone on the bed. The clock read 10:34, and he knew that Monica was probably in the bathroom. It was times like these during which he thanked the Lord that he was not a pregnant woman. With so many trips to the bathroom and a frequently interrupted sleep, he sure would be cranky in the mornings.

He closed his eyes again, deciding to wait for Monica to return, but as minutes passed, he got off the bed, wondering what on earth was taking her so long. He entered the living room and closed his eyes in reflex, when the bright light in the room blinded him momentarily. "Mon?" he called out, his eyes closed, but heard no reply.

His eyes adjusted to the brightness slowly, and he opened them again, moving towards the bathroom door. He knocked the closed door once. "Monica, is everything alright?"

"There's blood, Chandler," came her reply, after a lapse of a few seconds, her voice dazed.

He strained to hear what she was saying, but the word 'blood', as it caught his attention, reverberated in his brain, quickening his pulse. "What?" he asked, hoping he had heard her wrong. He had asked her not to lock the bathroom door while she used it. He called it precaution, and she called it paranoia, but at least, she obeyed. He opened the door, scared of what had happened, of what could happen. "Monica, what-" he started, but stopped still in his tracks.

She held up two fingers for him to see, their tips covered in blood. "There's blood," she repeated, her voice awe-tinged. Her face had paled, but her eyes took on a pleading expression, begging him to fix the problem somehow.

He moved closer, watching the trail of blood as it lethargically reached her ankle. She lifted her nightdress to reveal the thin curving line.

All his life as an adult, he followed one routine when something went wrong; he panicked. But now, panicking was not an option. He had to stay strong, or at least visibly so, for her sake. He breathed in slowly, deeply, in an unsuccessful attempt to calm himself. "Mon, we have to get you to the hospital," he told her with a calmness that he did not possess. "Just," he breathed in again. "Just be here for a second. I'll go get Rachel and Joey."

She nodded, tears springing to her blue eyes as reality finally started to sink in. "I even counted ten kicks in the morning," she said, sounding small, lost and completely defeated.

He placed a hand on her cheek, wanting to reassure her somehow, but unable to bring himself to say anything. "It's probably nothing, Mon." His words sounded empty and weak, even to him. "Just one second." He moved away from her swiftly, towards the door, and stopped for a second as she spoke again.

"I am scared, Chandler," she whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I know, sweetie." He nodded, for once knowing exactly what she meant. He was scared, too. "I know." His gaze lingered on her face for a moment before he started towards their apartment door, a sense of urgency filling him as he ran towards apartment 19, seeking the help of their friends.

He knocked hard on their door, one dark thought crossing his mind. Maybe the other side of her locket would remain empty. As quickly as the thought entered his mind, he reprimanded himself. He will not allow darkness to seep in.

But the thought still lingered, and he knew it would remain deep-seated in the corner of his brain, for the rest of the night. He just hoped that the paranoid premonition would not come true. He just hoped life wasn't so brutal, although he, of all people, knew how pitiless it could be.

~.~

Their friends comforted him the same way he had tried to comfort Monica. 'It's probably nothing.' He nodded, feeling too drained to respond, wondering if this was how Monica was feeling right now. No, she was going through something that he could not even imagine.

Phoebe stroked his arm, with the other three murmuring something that his brain was unable to process.

"Maybe she could deliver the baby now," Rachel said, taking her seat beside him. They all looked tired, haggard, but he could see the nervousness in their behavior, sense their fear. They were almost as scared as he was.

"Maybe." He nodded, suddenly feeling suffocated with the four of them huddling close to him.

They had taken her in, less than an hour ago. "I don't want to lose our baby, Chandler," she had whispered to him before they took her to the examining room.

The look of fear in Monica's eyes as she had said it was something he had never seen before. He had wanted to comfort her, to hug her and tell her that everything would be alright. But he couldn't promise her something that he wasn't even certain about.

So he had watched helplessly as they took her inside, her red rimmed eyes lingering on his face until the door closed behind her.

He didn't want to lose their baby, either. He stood up abruptly, taking a step away from the others. When Ross raised an enquiring eyebrow, he shook his head. "I uh…" he ran his fingers through his hair, inhaling deeply. "I just need a walk." They nodded their understanding before he turned away again. He walked out the hospital slowly.

He remembered reading that third trimester bleeding was not uncommon, but optimism had never been his forte.

He moved towards the fountain at the hospital entrance, feeling the water droplets as they drizzled on his skin. These were the few drops that had managed to escape the perimeter that was circumscribed to them, but their fate was even worse than that of those that fell within the base of the fountain. Those that fell outside were the ones that had no choice but to evaporate.

This thing between him and Monica was an aberration that wouldn't have happened if not for the one drunken night. And that's what scared him. The baby in her womb was the testimony to his love for Monica, which until that one night had been nothing but platonic, but nonetheless more powerful than the most profound feeling that he'd felt towards anyone else.

He closed his eyes, allowing the dark thought in the corner of his mind to come to the forefront. He wondered whether they would evaporate like the water drops, if their baby died.

His eyes stung with unshed tears as he opened them again, his vision blurred as he stared into the water. The pennies at the bottom shone under the moonlight. Hundreds of wishes made, some of which came true while the rest of them didn't.

He did not believe in God. He had lost his faith in the presence of a higher power, when his parents got divorced. He was not the one to pray. But now, he was willing to make an exception.

He looked up at the sky, the place where they all said God resided. "Please, let them both be safe," he murmured into the cold winter air, watching as his breath turned into fog. He held his head turned towards the sky, for this position helped him better to contain his tears. Since he was a child, he hadn't cried, either.

He was no longer aware that Christmas would be upon them within a few minutes. All that he knew was his life would never be the same again if something happened to his baby. He cannot live without her. He cannot live without their baby.

He didn't hear the footsteps that echoed behind him. He didn't notice Joey until he was right in front of him.

"Chandler, Chandler, the doctor…" Joey trailed off, panting as he struggled to regain his breath. "The doctor says everything is okay." Joey smiled widely, relief showing in his features, even as he struggled with his breath.

Blood pounded in his ears, his veins flooding abruptly with such an enormous sense of relief. His limbs moved instinctively towards the hospital building, at a pace that Joey could never match.

Rachel, Ross and Phoebe, who were grinning widely, moved towards him, their arms wide open. "It's okay, Chandler," was their collective statement, which made him feel a lot better than 'It's probably nothing.' He hugged them back before moving towards Dr. Nelson.

"Mr. Bing." She smiled sympathetically. "The baby is fine." She nodded before he could ask. "Ms. Geller is also fine. She is slightly effaced, but her cervix is still intact. We monitored the baby's heartbeat, and yes," she smiled again. "The baby is absolutely fine."

He felt an extraordinary urge to hug and kiss the woman, but instead, he smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you, doctor."

"But," she added with a raised eyebrow. "She is still weak, and just to be on the safe side, I don't want her to strain herself much. I'd suggest bed rest until the baby is born."

"Absolutely." He nodded, oblivious to the fact that the other four were nodding behind him. He smiled at the doctor nervously, his environment taking hold a sense of surreality. "Can I see her?"

"Yes, you can." The doctor patted his arm and moved away.

He moved towards the examining room hesitantly and opened the door, to find her lying on the table. She sat up slowly on seeing him.

"Hey," he murmured. One look at her face, he knew she'd been through hell and back.

"Hey." She tried as hard as she could to hold back her tears, but still a few rolled down her cheeks as the stress of the night took its toll on her. "I was scared," she murmured when he came closer.

Her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. He brushed it from her face, pressing his lips against her forehead. "Me, too." She hooked her pinky with his. "It's alright now," he said, his voice cracking, sounding like he was trying not to cry, even as he wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"I know." More tears spilled from her eyes as she nodded.

He gently pulled her into his arms as she cried, her tears moist in the crook of his neck.

She hugged him back fiercely. When she felt his warm tears permeate her thin hospital gown, she realized he was crying, too.

They cried on each other's shoulders with relief, with hope, with the realization that if they'd lost their baby, it'd have been the end of their world.

~.~

"If you need anything, anything at all, we're right across the hall." Rachel held Monica's hand firmly with one of her own, while her other brushed her cheek tenderly. "Okay?" she asked her, and waited until she nodded. As she did, Rachel rose from the bed and pecked her friend on the forehead. "I am so glad that you're okay." She pulled away, smiling. "Goodnight, Mon." She moved towards the bedroom door, with Joey behind her.

Joey paused at the door and pulled Chandler into a hug. When he pulled away, he glanced at his watch. "Hey, guys, Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," they chorused, and the other two left the apartment, leaving them alone.

Chandler sat beside her on the bed, leaning forward to get hold of her hand. "Do you want something? Some water?" He tried to move, but she tightened her grasp.

"Don't go." She tugged his hand, trying to get him closer to her. "Stay with me."

"Okay. I am not going anywhere." He smiled, crawling into the bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her, the presence of the huge barrier of her pregnant belly between them being the most welcome feeling. "Merry Christmas, Mon."

"Merry Christmas," she murmured back, relishing the feeling of safeness in his arms, the feeling that had been missing for the past several hours.

People always said 'embrace life', but it was this night that had taught them to embrace life with all its fragility, frailty and tenuousness. Life was the thin thread that connected them together, and if lost, it could never be regained.

"I love you, Monica," he whispered, peering into her eyes. His heart thudded against his ribs, his breath came in short, fast rasps, but he held her gaze, feeling her own quickened breath on his skin.

All through her life, she had wanted a family, she'd wanted love. And this was that love, right there, holding her in his arms.

She leaned forward, brushing her lips against his, and pulled back, their foreheads touching. "I love you, too," she breathed against his lips, before she laid her head on his chest.

He tightened his arms around her, his heart still beating at a pace beyond what would be considered normal. He felt a strange sense of fulfillment and contentment, as he breathed in the scent of her skin.

Everything he would ever want in his life was already in his arms.

~.~.~

A/N: You thought I'd kill off the baby? I could never do that to Chandler and Monica… :)

Only a couple more chapters left! I'll try to update it soon, but am not making any promises this time (since I always, I mean always, break them). I have to submit a paper on the plasmid from a rare bacterium, by the end of this month. So, I'll try to update this and the other two fics within this month, and if not, they'll be continued in April.

To the one very persistent reader/reviewer, I promise that 'If it's Love' will be continued, and that it will not be left unfinished. If I plan on discontinuing any of my series, you guys will be the first ones to know.