Apathy
The Protection of the Innocent
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If Hariel does stop by to watch the tennis match, then Light is unaware of her presence. Though, she did say she would be there, so he doubts she will have avoided making an appearance. As the scars upon her hand proclaim, Hariel doesn't allow a lie to pass through her lips. She may omit information, she may refuse to answer a question, but she has yet to tell him a lie.
Now, sat beside his father's hospital bed, Light finds himself contemplating the mortality of human life, a subject he suspects Hariel would have been happy to hold a discussion on, were she here.
He wonders, sometimes, what Hariel gets up to while she is off on her own, ponders what strange thoughts whirl about in her head. He cannot picture it being a quiet place, despite the stillness that persists in the air around her.
Hariel's head, he imagines, would be a place as potent with thought as her body was with magic. All the questions she could ask about the world, given how much of it she has seen, the sheer magnitude of what she can contemplate escapes him sometimes.
It is not that Hariel is unintelligent, compared to the average student, she would be considered quite smart.
It is just against his superior intellect, her own appears dwarfed.
Factual information quivers below the force of philosophy though. That is more about true thinking, about creativity and experience and questioning.
Though he has seen only a little evidence, Light understands that Hariel is exceedingly good at the questioning part. How she had spoken after L's broadcast, how she had talked him through the situation with the FBI.
Light is not stupid, nor is he ignorant of the fact that some people will have a greater amount of knowledge than him on obscure subjects, the kind he'd never have taken an interest in before.
And then sometimes, there comes along a person with a similar level of knowledge, but who's viewpoint differs so radically from his own that he can do nothing other than sit and contemplate.
Hariel has presented herself as that person several times.
He can bounce ideas off of her, and know that she will not judge him for how far his mind roves while considering set topics, how the issue of what is considered morally right and socially acceptable escapes him when the topic stokes his intrigue.
With everyone else he has ever known, it is always as if he's treading upon thin ice, and the slightest crack would send him plunging. Everyone would judge, and while Light doesn't particularly care, those that are abnormal compared to the majority usually end up finding life made harder for them. He has never had a wish to create more problems for himself, so he created the act, flourished under the guise of a perfect student.
And yet, even as he looked around, the world was rotting.
He couldn't understand why the human race was so faulty, so imperfect, and why they failed to live up to his admittedly lofty expectations. It was from these thoughts, that the very basis of Kira had been formed, to get rid of the low average and drag the human race up into something a bit more respectful.
To be able to do that, and save all the people that would have suffered beneath the scum of society, it had all been so neat and tidy.
Just a little book, and a lot of heart attacks.
.
As such, while he knows his father's heart attack has nothing to do with Kira, his own chest had seized up at the news, clenching hard until it seemed even his organs felt tight, as impossible as that situation would be.
.
Now, here he sits, beside the man his father has confirmed as L, once again talking about the Kira case, and yet, all he can focus on is what Hariel is up to.
He wants to talk to her, to discuss the wildly fluctuating feeling and thoughts that have come about as a result of his father's near scare with death. He doesn't care to open up before L or his father, neither of them would understand the way his mind works.
Well, L would, but he would also rapidly conclude that Light was Kira, and as such, made a completely unacceptable choice.
No, Light wants to speak to Hariel, to watch the girl tilt her head to a side, red curls tumbling over one shoulder as she considers his words and offers a perspective he'd never have thought of on his lonesome.
Her humanity was fractured, even more so than his own, she wouldn't even consider his thought process as an abnormality; she'd just accept it.
Really, it's almost sickening how much he'd secretly, unconsciously, been seeking wholehearted acceptance before Hariel came along. With Ryuk and Hariel, he doesn't have to pretend, and perhaps that makes him less human for it, but if that is the case, then Light is content with being something not wholly human.
Just as he is getting out his phone to send of a text, a knock rings out from the door, and Hariel's right there.
Light takes a moment to look to his father's face, but it houses no flash of panic, no wide eyes or pursed lips.
He doesn't know.
That throws Light for a loop, because if his father doesn't know that means L didn't tell him.
Was it because Hariel isn't Kira?
It's not a difficult thing to work out, her personality makes it a blatant given.
But, if that is the case, then L had just up and kidnapped Hariel with no legal backing.
And that's, wow.
It seems L is entirely willing to break societies rules too, if it means that he gets to win. Light's not particularly surprised by that, but he'd still held out the tiniest bit of hope.
But L, for all that he recognised by the law enforcement of the world, is honestly no better than Light. They're both breaking the rules, both hypocrites, neither of them are doing this with the world's best intentions at heart, not really.
This world is rotting.
"Ah, Yagami-san? Light told me you were in hospital, so I brought a get well present?"
She seems a bit unsure, not if a present is appropriate, but if she has a right to give it.
Light answers before either L or his father can gather their wits, gesturing for Hariel to come inside.
She does so with the practiced ease of a woman who'd spent a fair bit of time in a hospital, quietly closing the door and depositing the basket of homemade goods upon the bedside cabinet.
Light can spot a variety of biscuits and cakes, both big and small, within the wicket basket. No doubt all pulled from the obscure space that only Hariel can access. If she were to disappear, would the things stored within that abyss cease to exist? Or, is it pure thought on Hariel's part that brings them into existence?
"Thank you," his father's states after a momentary pause of silent confusion.
If anything, L seems to be the most suspicious here.
In fact, he seems quite set on making an excellent impression of a petulant child, given the way his lips are pursed in a pout. That is to say nothing on the way he looks at the Hariel's get well gift. There's clear suspicion in his eyes, but it's joined by a much more confusing blatant annoyance.
Why? Does L suspect her of being Kira?
No, that can't possibly be right, it's vociferous clear to anyone who has ever interacted with Hariel that she has no ambition, latent or otherwise. No, it seems almost as if L's current problem resolves only around the basket that Hariel has dropped off.
Confused, but certainly not planning to show it, Light plucks out one of the cookies -they're not identical, but each looks as delightfully appetising as the next- and takes a neat bite.
A muscle in L's cheek twitches.
His problem, is with the food?
Of course, the sweet treats that Hariel has pulled into existence aren't exactly the healthiest, but surely L doesn't believe that she'd try to harm his father through such a roundabout way, especially as it would take years to even begin to see some results.
He cannot serious believe that Hariel would try to blatantly poison them through confectionary, could he?
"I believe we should allow Chief Yagami some rest."
"I guess it would be better to talk outside."
Light understands the unspoken statement, that L has every intention of discussing things outside of this room, things that he would not share with Light's father. Perhaps because he has so clearly broken the law, evidentially without the approval of certified law enforcers, regarding his holding of Hariel.
So Light gives a slight nod, gesturing for Hariel to walk out of the door before him, following after L's sulking figure.
If he just so happens to be putting the being of immense power between himself and L, then it's simply a lucky happenstance and through no design of his own.
.
It's a strange thing, the three of them stood therein that corridor.
What a trio they make; L with his complete ignorance of social interactions and etiquette, Hariel so removed from humanity that she's grasping at straws in an attempt to rebuild herself, her ability to view and understand the world still in shattered shards.
And then, there is him.
Light is under no illusions, he knows he is not entirely normal. Someone who murders as many as he has cannot be.
He's not in any rush to label himself though.
All he knows is that most emotions seem muted to him.
When he sees the clear love shared between his parents and his sister, he knows that he doesn't quite feel the same thing, doesn't quite feel the same attachment. And it's not an after effect of using the Death Note for too long, it is just that the book's presence within his life has forced him to face uncomfortable questions that he had been avoiding for the vast majority of his life.
It's not easy to accept the fact that, if pushed to the right limit, he would sacrifice his family's happiness for his goals. He does not dare to consider if he would risk their lives, the implications of that answer leave him ill at ease.
Perhaps the most damning evidence that he is not quite right, is that he does not care for how his family would suffer when compared to just what this such a thing means for his state of mind. He knows that it is not right to centre all of his goals upon himself and to only ever consider his family as a wayside ideal, something to be acknowledged and looked after, but only if it did not get in the way of his plans.
Then, there are the two most interesting people he has ever met in his life, and they are perhaps just as fractional as he is.
Together, Light doubt they would even manage to drum up the morals of a complete, well rounded person. They do not even stand upon the same side; L is his opposition, and Hariel is removed from the game, a spectator untouched by every move they make. Perhaps that is why he feels so connected and yet, distanced from them at the same time.
In one case, it is L v Kira; two militant halves of a whole battle. The war that is necessary is just.
And make no mistake, this fight between both Kira and L is indeed needed.
The world is rotting, and while L might be happy enough to leave it be, to make no advancements and play by the status quo, Light cannot endorse such a thing. Not when he has the power to change it.
How would the world not have advanced, had the Romans not conquered the vast majority of Europe? How would the world have looked, had it never seen the British Empire expand across the four corners of the globe?
No, revolution was necessary for substantial change, and there was always someone who had to start it all off, to get the ball rolling.
Only, in this day and age, any force for such a radical change was frowned up, heavily. So, things had to be done in secrecy, to be implemented through guerrilla warfare tactics that left the enforces chasing after wisps of smoke.
Light had once read that there were three good reasons, three just reasons, with which a war was found to be warranted.
In the defence of others from aggressive attack, in self defence, and in the protection of innocent people from aggressive regimes.
The protection of the innocent.
Was that not what he was doing? Protecting all those who would suffer at the hands of these criminals, preventing future victims, cleaning up the world and implementing a new law?
The potential for good far outweighs the evil; the end justifies the means.
Perhaps it is not the same ideals that the majority of the populous would conform to, but it had been proven time and time again that the population rarely knew what was good for them. They were ignorant, walking around with rose tinted glasses pushed heavily upon their nose.
And he, well, he was enlightened to the darkness of the world, had been from a young age.
In the same way that he knew, if he'd been pushed wrong, had the wrong influence been exerted upon him in his tender years of development, he would probably have ended up as one of the psychos Kira cut down. Only, he would have been smart about it.
Perhaps he would have been what L is to the law enforcement of the world. Certainly he'd have been a match for the detective.
As it is though, right now, it is Kira against L, a battle for revolution against the stagnated state of the earth and its occupants.
Change would always happen.
Light was just fighting to be the one to implement it in this case.
Then, there is Hariel.
If Kira and L are America and Russia, locked in a cold war that both have acknowledged but remain incapable of turning live -for the moment- reduced to relying upon underhanded tactics and moves hidden within the shadows, then Hariel is Britain. Somewhat tentatively allied with one of the two, but not to the point in which she would swoop in and save the day.
No, Hariel was more than happy to sit back and watch with silent lips and emotionless eyes, though he doesn't doubt in the slightest that she will stop them both should too much innocent life be threatened.
Perhaps Britain was a bad analogy in this case. No, Hariel Potter was the rest of the world, waiting with baited breath, but with more power than either of them. Unwilling to step in, but just as loathed to see her ally crumble into a state of obliteration, to get lost in the battle and forget the purpose.
L has far more experience on this front, he was fought against crime for perhaps longer than Light has been in school.
It is only the supernatural element, it is only Hariel's distracting presence, that keeps them on even ground here.
.
Which is why, when the three of them look between one another, Light does not feel like the weakest link. He may have the least experience in these high risk games, but he has knowledge that L does not, in the same way he possesses an ambition that will forever escape Hariel.
"I see no point in ignoring the facts here," L begins, heavy lidded eyes lazily swinging from Light to Hariel and back again, "out of all the suspects, I am quite certain that Yagami Light is Kira. On that same strain, I am well aware that I have no evidence of such a thing yet, only suspicions."
Here, those soulless black eyes lock on Hariel's form, and L's lips quiver, as if he's not quite sure whether to smile or frown.
"I do have complete proof that you have willingly, and knowingly, lied to several governments though, and that you are not completely human."
A shiver runs down Light's spine, because to hear it said so bluntly, out in the open for all to acknowledge, is a strange thing indeed.
Hariel stares back at L, and she doesn't even flinch under the subtle implications L has left in his statement. That one word from him, and several countries would be gunning for her.
If the Master of Death gathers this, then she makes no indication of it, just blinking and cocking her head ever so slightly to a side.
"Had we met on any other case, I believe I would have quite enjoyed the puzzle you present, Miss Potter. As things stand though, I cannot allow myself to become distracted from the current situation, and as such, must only take into account your relevance to the Kira case."
Here, L pauses for breath, looking between the two of them again.
The next time, as he speaks, it is once again to Hariel.
But he watches Light, with those sharp, inhuman eyes.
"I would quite like for you to join the task force dedicated to the capture of Kira, I believe you would offer a unique perspective upon all of these events, Miss Potter."
.
And yes, Light was not expecting that in the slightest.
Yeah, L was upset because he couldn't allow himself to have any of that basket of sweets; given what he's seen of Hariel so far, he'd put nothing past her.
Something of note; we're almost to 100,000 views on this fic, which is coolio. Well over a 1,000 for alerts and favs, which is fantastic, thank you so much for that guys.
I know the plot may seem slow for now, but this fic is unfortunatly me attempting to look deeper into how characters think -not sure if it's working, but hey-ho- and I'm steadily growing to love manipulative Light, the one that hasn't quite taken a nosedive off the sanity cliff. I wanna see more Death Note Fem Harry crossovers, let me know of any if you can think of a few?
I do hope no one gets used to this quick updates, my deadlines are rapidly approaching and soon I will drop off of the face of the earth to cope.
x
Thanks for reading, please let me know what you think?
Tsume
xxx