7-31-10: I want to thank bajan-martini, my new beta for reviewing this chapter and making a better reading experience for all. Thanks so much, b-m!

Thanks so much for the reviews; I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Happy Holidays to all.

WARNING – THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS.

Chapter 14: It's Complicated

Kyle looked around and then summed up the view with a succinct, "What a mess."

My deputy and I were picking our way through the charred rumble that was once 'Dynamic Diagnostics Laboratory,' a bio-testing laboratory. News sources reported that the laboratory had burnt down right before Halloween, which was approximately three weeks ago. This was the last known location of the plastic barrel - the barrel that held the three vampire-ish bodies. Kyle and other staff members had successfully scoured the web, found the makers of the barrel, contacted them, and then got the location of where it was delivered.

The lab's website described the company as being a typical physician-prescribed testing lab; the place where doctors' offices sent urine, blood, and bio-cultures for examination and determination. But, there was something about the place that felt odd and I couldn't put my finger on it.

Kyle sighted something and called me over. As I stumbled over to his location, I noticed the pungent combination of smells, still strong despite the effects of the fire. The smell was a combination of disinfectant, bleach, and an undercurrent trace of - cooked meat. It was so overwhelming that it was almost toxic. We were wearing rubber boots and gloves but forgot about masks. I was using a gob of tissues as a filter mask, Kyle was using a handkerchief.

"Sheriff, lookey here. I don't know about this science stuff, but this seems kinda weird."

I looked down and saw that there were remnants of metal bars sticking out of the concrete slab floor of the lab. There were remnants of what seemed to be walls, and walls made up rooms and the bars seemed to be the openings of small, walled rooms. The barred rooms had the look and feel of prison cells. These were big cells, which could easily house a human, or many stacked cages of animals.

"Kyle, you don't remember anything on their website about animal testing, do you?"

"No Ma'am. They said on it that they didn't test with animals. There was a banner on the home page that said it. They could've been lying. These are little rooms. It looks like they run down the whole side of the building. There's about ten of 'em." He was getting excited as he spoke. I was impressed that he was being assertive with his thoughts and ideas. Normally, he's a little quiet and reserved.

"I've got summin' else to show ya. Over here." He walked over to a remnant of a side wall of one of the cells. He bent down and pointed at something. I joined him, dropping down on my hunches so that I could get a closer view.

There was a partial length of metal chain bolted to the wall. The chain's links were at least an inch thick, whatever the chain was meant to hold, had to be something extremely heavy – or extremely strong.

Kyle continued, "I know chimps and all are strong, but that's more like a chain for a gorilla." I nodded my agreement.

He looked around us as if to make sure that no one was around, and then whispered to me, "I bet that chain there is silver, or has silver in or on it."

I had thought the same thing, but didn't say anything, only nodded. I stood up and looked around. "Kyle, ever seen what an explosion does to an object? It scatters debris far and wide. This all may have been started by a fire, but there was an explosion here. A very, very big one." He nodded his agreement.

"Kyle, let's cut off the chain hank and take it with us. If you wouldn't mind, would you please go to my cruiser and bring me back the hack saw in the trunk. While you're in there, grab a load of evidence bags, the camera – and air filter masks. Don't forget the masks." I handed him my keys, and then firmly patted him on the shoulder, "Good eye, Kyle."

His face exploded into a big, warm smile, while muttering something that sounded like 'thanks ma'am' and went sprinting off through the rubble to get the supplies. I marveled at how he easily kept his balance as he hopped through the rubble and sludge. I would have been flat on my ass if I had tried it.

Kyle Bauer was a big, gentle giant, very kind, easy-going, and intelligent. He was a good looking kid – to me, he was a kid - in his mid-twenties, and his youthful outlook and energy really made me feel old. But he did have one lovely quality that came in handy in certain situations – he looked meaner than Hell. This was one of those cases that the cover didn't match the book's contents.

We spent the next several hours gathering evidence, taking pictures, measuring, and performing other standard investigative procedures. This was Kyle's first 'major' investigation and it was a kick to see his kid-like enthusiasm, though he tried to cover it up with a good-ol' country-boy attitude.

By the time we got back to the office and cleaned up, it was 5:00 PM. Earlier, I had called Dr. Liam McTavish, who was covering for our vacationing coroner, and asked Liam to meet Eric and me at 7:00 PM, at the morgue.

Liam had been in the British Royal Air force, and one of his many responsibilities as a field doctor was performing the duties of a coroner. He was a man of many talents and a walking data bank of knowledge. Liam was becoming well known and well liked around town – and well lusted over by nearly every female. I was definitely on the lusting list, though thankfully, he didn't cause my hormones to rage… just moan a little.

I should have been far more anxious, knowing that I would see Eric in two hours, but I wasn't. A zillion things were running through my mind, starting with the investigation and ending with reality that today was Avis' birthday. Actually, the two events balanced each other out, thereby reducing the stress factor of both, which was a good thing.

I had sent Avis' mother, Mrs. Yezzie, flowers and a card, and I planned on calling her, soon. I just wasn't up to it today. I truthfully didn't want to deal with emotions – hers or mine.

I kept in touch with Mrs. Yezzie on a regular basis; I helped her however I could, including financial support. Though I genuinely liked and cared about Mrs. Yezzie, I had made a promise to Avis to look after her mother if she were to die and I fully intended to honor that promise.

I checked my messages on my cell phone and discovered that Roman had both called and texted me. I knew why he was calling and I was irked, I can't believe that he was checking up on me.

I'm fine…come on Roman!

Last year, on Avis' birthday, I had done something stupid. It was not intentional, and definitely wasn't what it appeared to be - it was an accident.

Long story short - I was staying in the military rehabilitation hospital housing in Germany. I was in pain – constant, severe pain - all of the time. In the housing, we took care of ourselves as much as possible, which included getting ourselves to physical therapy and all other appointments, administering our own medicines, and striving to be as independent as possible. Of course, at all times, we were under the supervision of several in-house medical staff members.

As I said, it was Avis' birthday and I wanted to toast my friend. I got someone to bring me a bottle of champagne, which I enjoyed way too much. My inebriation caused me to lose track of my pain medicine administration, and I took several dosages too close together. I remember getting sleepy and the next thing I remember was waking up in the emergency room.

It was fucking embarrassing and I felt like an idiot. They – the doctors – were convinced that I had tried to commit suicide – which I hadn't. I was vindicated when they analyzed the contents from my pumped stomach.

Because of the record-high suicide rate in the military, the doctors decided to be overly cautious and they put me through a barrage of tests and counseling.

Eventually, the doctors and psychologists realized and acknowledged that I didn't try to off myself, and my medical documents were re-reviewed and updated to show that it was an accident – not a suicide attempt. That was very important to me, because if I applied for a job that required a high clearance background investigation, I didn't want my papers to say that I was ever a suicide risk.

Roman was one of the very few people that knew about it, and I thought that the door had been closed on this subject…but I guess he forgot to lock the door on his side.

So, tonight – no booze, and only Pepsi and Advil.

My office phone rang, it was Roman.

"Hey, JoJo-girl, how did the site investigation go?" He was extremely chirpy, perky, and peppy! If he had been with me in person, I would have bitch slapped him back to normalcy.

I groaned out, "Good God – Roman…" I decided to change my approach and adopted his happy-on-air attitude and play along with him, maybe he wasn't calling to check on me. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

"Real good, Ro. We found some stuff, even after all this time. I'll brief you as soon as we've had time to process and analyze everything - maybe in three days."

"Okay…How ya feeling? HEY, I was thinking about swinging by and -,"

Shit. I exhaled dramatically, "Roman, I'm fine. I'm busier than a Singapore whore during fleet week. I don't need you to come over and do some fucking suicide watch on me. FOR GOD SAKES, Roman, I -."

"JESUS, JO! I wasn't implying anything! We haven't seen each other in awhile, and I thought -" He tried playing the 'offended' card, but it wasn't working.

"BULLSHIT!"

"Hey! What kinda-!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"FINE."

"FINE!...Ro, I swear on everything that I hold dear, that I am fine. I didn't try to off myself a year ago, and if I do bite it, you're not getting anything, it's all going to Billy." I tried injecting some humor to lower the heat of the moment. The 'Billy' I mentioned was my brother.

"What?"

"I'm not fucking with you, everything is going to Billy."

"Damn. I knew it!" His bad acting just got worse, and I could hear restrained laughter in his voice. "The little carved camels that you got in Morocco? Not those Jo! Say it isn't so!"

I started to chuckle and he joined in. We then went quiet for a bit of time.

Roman, in a serious voice that I have only heard him use on several occasions, asked me, "Are you still with me, JoJo?" It was a line that we borrowed from the movie, 'The Chronicles of Riddick.' It was our re-affirmation of our buddy pact. It meant that we would protect and defend each other - no matter what.

"I'm here and I've got your back, stupid dipshit." I didn't feel like getting too mushy, I was at work.

"Bitch." I guess he didn't want to get too sentimental, either.

"Yep – and my mama would be proud." She really would have been proud of me.

He chuckled, "Yeah, she would be…Okay, gotta go. Call me tomorrow…if you don't drink lye and die."

"Asshole!"

"Yep, and my Daddy would be proud. 'Ciao bella' - my other women are calling, gotta go." He hung up without waiting for my response.

Before I could mentally store away our conversation, my office phone rang, again. Wow, I'm Ms. Popular today.

I answered the phone and smiled when I heard the caller's voice.

"Hello there. I'm an extremely handsome, intelligent, single, male doctor who spends his free time autopsying vampire remains, in search of a beautiful, intelligent, single female sheriff for meetings and long talks. Would you be able to help me?" It was Liam, doctor and substitute coroner extraordinaire – also, my new source for verbal dry humping. Me likey…

"Well, for the first minute you will be talking to the sheriff for free, but then it will cost you $2.95 for each additional minute after that. Your time starts NOW." I could hear him chuckling.

In the short time that we've known each other, Liam and I had achieved a good comfort level. We joked and joshed without turmoil or toil – he was just fun to be around.

"That sounds like my last date, but she charged by the hour. Oh, by the way, your friend Mr. Eric Northman has come and gone. He's very…serious, isn't he?"

"He did? Ah, yeah…serious. Did he say anything about the bodies?"

"Well, I'll tell you exactly what he said, 'hmm;' 'move;' 'bring me gloves;' – and drum roll please, - 'I'm finished.'"

I laughed, "Yep, he can be quite the charmer."

"I think we bonded. So, have you had dinner?"

"I was just thinking about that. I was going to go to Merlotte's. I have to pick up my coffee from Sam and I thought I would eat there."

"Would you care for some company?"

"I would love some. Meet you in 30 minutes."

"Done, it's a date."

When I arrived at Merlotte's, the dinner crowd had started to thin out. Kyle was sitting at the bar, eating and laughing while watching 'the Lafayette show,' which is what I called Lafayette, the night cook, when he was in high form – flirting and flouncing - all for Kyle's benefit.

Kyle was always so enthralled watching Lafayette prance, dip, sashay, finger snap, and flirt at a level bordering on obscenity. Kyle would laugh and stare at Lafayette with a glazed look in his eye, all the while eating and drinking absent mindedly. He reminded me of a kid engrossed in a cartoon.

Kyle was always polite and proper with Lafayette, and I think he genuinely liked him. But it was so much fun watching Kyle watch Lafayette. The thought crossed my mind more than once that Kyle's interest in Lafayette might have gone beyond friendship…and there was nothing wrong with that. My brother Billy was gay.

Arlene called a greeting to me, "Evenin' Sheriff, how's it going tonight?"

I responded, "It's dragging, so watch where you step." That got a rise out of everyone in the vicinity. Lafayette hooted, "Girl, I know what you mean!" Lafayette started the next act of his show for Kyle - he demonstrated how to tie the stem of a maraschino cherry with his tongue. You go girl!

Arlene, walked me to a table and took my order for a diet Pepsi. I asked her to keep a look out for the doctor – which garnered a questioning raise of her eyebrows, which I didn't respond to – instead, I went back to Sam's office to get my coffee – and find out information.

Sam and I traded niceties and then we quickly got down to business, we didn't have a lot of time to talk without causing suspicion.

"Sam, so what did you find out about vampires dying and not dissolving?"

"Nah, nuthin'. And nobody's missing as far as anyone can tell."

"Sam, changing the subject a little bit…is…ah…is Sookie and Eric…have they…been involved?"

"I don't feel comfortable talking about my friends."

"Sam, I have to know where all the lines lead and when they cross over other lines. Do you understand?"

"Yeah…well…I heard that something went on, but they're not together now. Before that, she was in love with Bill Compton, but then he did something that she couldn't forgive him for – but I don't know what it was."

"Vampires are her 'thing?'"

"Yeah, well, she can't hear their thoughts, so…that's good for her…I was interested, you know…in her… but she never…you know – and she can sorta hear my thoughts, so…we're friends, just good friends."

"So, she's really only interested in supernaturals, and vice versa?"

"Well, she's special. She's a very warm, kind person. Her…I heard…that her blood is special. Vampires really like the smell."

"Why is her blood special?"

"She might be part supernatural, but I don't know for sure. I'm just guessing…but, she's done some things. Sometimes an energy force comes out of her, but she can't control it."

If Sookie was a psychic and part supernatural, then she was indeed, very special. She had special blood that Vampires liked to smell…very special and a tough act to follow. I certainly don't want her sloppy seconds. I bow to her superiority.

"Okay, thanks. Let me get back to my table, Dr. McTavish is meeting me for dinner."

"Yeah? Are you two…?"

"Nah, just colleagues."

I got a knowing smile from Sam as I left, which I ignored.

Liam was already at the table and was talking with Arlene. I saw Sookie and Bill sitting at one of the back booths. They must have come in while I was in the back with Sam…and they were arguing.

Sookie yelled out, "No!" and stormed past us, leaving the bar.

Liam said, "Me thinks a damsel is in distress."

Arlene countered, "No, just a damsel in a mess. She needs to watch what's she doing. Vampires are dangerous, especially jealous ones!"

I looked at Bill, and saw pure misery on his face. Whatever he did, the mistake that caused their breakup - must have been a doozey.

I placed my order for Chicken Caesar salad and sat back and exhaled. "This is my first opportunity to relax today."

Liam chuckled quietly, "I know how you feel. Oh, those samples you left are in the lab. Most interesting finds, there. A bit of a gillybock, eh?"

"A what?"

"A 'gillybock.' It's what we say back home when we have a messy, puzzling situation."

"Yep, that about sums it up."

"That Mr. Northman was quite…something. You normally don't find that caliber of friendliness outside of a prison. His superior attitude far surpasses any prissy royal that we have back home."

"Yep, Mr. Charm."

"He was deliberately trying to make me feel like an idiot…"

"Me too, me too."

"…like a gutter snipe with a disease…"

"Yep! Me too!"

"…like a red-headed, unwanted step-child!"

"Get out! ME TOO!" By now we were laughing and even did a fist bump.

I felt a cold draft and looked for the source of it – I jumped when I saw it. It was Eric - he was standing at the end of our booth table. Actually, Liam and I both jumped.

Eric did not look like he was having a fun night. "How sweet, the two of you are bonding and bumping fists. Are we bumping anything else, kiddies?"

Liam and I stared at each other in utter shock, and then our emotions simultaneously morphed into anger and disgust. Eric's insinuation had not been missed by either one of us.

Eric blurted out, "Sheriff, I need to talk to you," and then turned and walked away, in the direction of the front door.

"Gad – he gives me the heebie-jeebies, and I've known vampires. Scary ones. But, he's in a class by himself. I think he delights in offending people."

"Yep." I responded, "I totally agree with you on that. He's-" As I spoke, Eric walked back over to the table.

"Now, Sheriff! I meant now – come!" He snapped his fingers and walked back towards the front door.

I jokingly grabbed my dinner knife and stabbed the air in the direction that Eric had been standing. Liam laughed and captured my hand with his, and then slowly removed the knife. He placed my hand down on the table and patted it, and with a soothing tone to his voice, he said "Don't waste good cutlery on that sod. Plus, the stains he'll leave will be impossible to clean up." He smiled at me and I returned his smile.

"I think I better join Mr. Charm, before he starts slapping his leg and whistling for me. I'll be right back." I got up and walked towards Eric, who was impatiently waiting for me at the front door. He held it open for me, and we walked out and went behind the bar, seeking privacy.

I took the initiative. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Arching a patronizing eyebrow, Eric parroted back my greeting.

"You wanted to talk to me – was it about the bodies?" I decided to take the high road and ignore his antics.

He looked at me for a few moments before responding, "The bodies are human. I told you that before. But I can't explain why they have natural looking fangs and vampire blood in their veins. What did you find at the Dynamic Diagnostics Laboratory?"

I was surprised that he knew about my trip to the laboratory ruins. But, I shouldn't have been, I now knew that he had 'eyes' everywhere, watching everything.

"We got some samples and they're at the lab being tested. There wasn't a lot of evidence, but enough to form some firm questions. How about you? Anything? Reports of missing vampires anywhere?"

"No, no, and no." He seemed to be suffering from great boredom, and let me know it in his answer.

I took a deep breath, let it out slowly. That's enough of this bullshit, I'm leaving. I politely said, "Okay, sooooo - thanks for helping out." I did a little head bob thing, signaling my departure, and I started to walk back to the diner.

"Jo, don't you have some other questions for me? I know you do."

"No. Not really." I stopped to answer, still maintaining a polite voice and expression.

"No? Really?"

What the hell. I'm going to regret doing this, but if I stroke his ego by asking about last night, then maybe he'll let me leave. "So…you and Sookie…"

His face was almost vulgar in its smugness. "It's complicated."

I ran over to him and grabbed his hand and bit down hard, drawing blood and he…I snapped myself out of my bizarre day dream and managed a fake, polite response of, "Okey-dokey. Well, good luck with that." I clapped my hands together, bobbed my head again, and turned and started to leave, again.

Before I could take more than several steps, I felt a cold wind rushing up behind me, I knew it was him. So, I stopped and turned, and almost banged into his chest – he was standing that close to me. I took a couple of steps back.

"Jo, you're upset." Oh, how understanding he looked when he said that. My hand was itching to slap his patronizing, smug, beautiful face, but I knew that if I did hit him, I could possibly break some bones in my hand. Instead, I decided to do what I do best – deflate the male ego.

What I do now, is done on behalf of pissed-off women everywhere.

"Eric – listen, I get it. What we did was just…exercise. We're both adults - right, no worries?"

"Jo-" He started to slink towards me.

I suppressed a smile. Yes, come into my web, said the spider to the fly.

"Listen Eric, I'm…kinda…on a date - I really need to get back. Okay? You're not upset, are you?" I patted his arm, tilted my head and smiled sweetly, "I'll call you."

His expression told me that my male-ego-destroying torpedo had reached its mark.

I gave him a big ol' beauty queen smile and said, "Have a nice night." I then swaggered back into the bar – enjoying my victory walk and mentally high-fiving imaginary women all the way in.

As I rejoined Liam, I thought about what I had said to Eric. I didn't exactly lie - Liam had said those words, 'it's a date,' though I don't think he meant it literally. I momentarily worried that maybe I should say something to Liam, but decided that it wasn't a big deal and to just let it go.

I was now in a good mood. I just smacked down Eric's ego. Good times!

Liam and I had a delightful dinner. I laughed, relaxed, joked, and flirted – and at no time did my life feel threatened or was I manhandled. How refreshing! We said we were going to have to do this more often, and left it at that. Cue Doris Day's song, 'que sera, sera - whatever will be, will be.' No worries.

I got home and changed into my favorite sweats and tank top, both were well-worn, slightly tattered, and oh-so comfortable. I then decided to invite three of my closest friends to share my evening with me – Ben, Jerry, and their good friend Jerry Garcia - and his luscious Cherry Garcia frozen yogurt namesake, curled up me on the couch to watch the late night news.

At one point, I got up and grabbed one of my favorite pictures of Avis. It was of the two of us on the beach in Galveston, Texas, taken a month before we were shipped over to Iraq.

I stroked my finger over her face and remembered that day. "Avis, I miss you, so very, very much." I made another mental note to call Avis' mother. Avis was from Arizona, born and raised on a Navajo reservation, her mother was of Mexican descent, but her father was Navajo. Her father had passed when Avis was a teenager, so her only close relative was her mother, she didn't have any brothers or sisters.

Avis had been a police officer in Tempe, Arizona when her Reserves company was called up. She and I were truly 'the proud and the few,' we were two of only six women in our entire company. She was my 'ying' soul mate whereas Roman is my 'yang' soul mate. She was kind, gentle, strong, fearless, and she had a very calming nature. When I felt stressed out or was shook up about something, I would settle myself near her and soak in her soothing aura. I miss her and think of her every day.

As I sat remembering her light and brightness, the phone rang. Out of reflex, I grabbed it up and answered, "Lautner."

"Northman." Oh shit.

"Eric…How did you get this number?"

"How do I get any of your phone numbers?"

"Okay, princess – is there a little pea in your mattress that's bothering you tonight?"

"I told you I didn't like being called that."

"Listen, Eric, it's late, I'm in bed, I have to get up extremely early tomorrow-"

"You're not in bed; you're sitting on the couch."

The blood in my veins turned to ice and I jerked around to face the front door – and there he was, standing outside my door – glowing – and looking at me with a shit-eating grin.

He winked at me.

"Do you know that you glow in the dark?"

"Only if I want. Open the door and invite me in."

I continued to talk on the phone and he played along and continued to do the same.

"Nope, I know about inviting vampires into your house…Wikipedia says that they will come back when I'm not home and hold parties with their little vampire friends, and leave True Blood bottles everywhere – I can't have that."

His face slowly melted into a very sad expression, he bowed his head slightly, peeking up at me in a shy manner. Using a child-like voice, he said. "It's dark out here. I think it's going to rain. I just want to come in for a few minutes."

I rolled my eyes and exhaled a long, dramatic breath. I responded to him, also using a baby voice, "Awwwwww - poor widdle vampire, out in the dark, cold night…so sad. Well, you're a bad vampire for showing up like this. Bad vampire! Bad!"

He blinked puppy-dog eyes at me. It was an Oscar-worthy performance.

"Alright! Dammit!...Don't smudge the glass in the door, I just cleaned that." I rapped on the window so that he would stop squishing his nose against the pane. "I'll grab an umbrella and a thicker shirt, and I'll come out on the deck and we can chat. This better be about work and only work! I'll give you five minutes, and that's all. I'm not in the mood for any crap, Eric!" I sneered at him as I closed my cell phone. I went back to my bedroom for a sweatshirt.

When I came back from my bedroom, I grabbed an umbrella from the coat closet and headed for the front door – but stopped dead in my tracks.

Eric was sitting on my couch, feet up on the coffee table, watching the television.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

He shushed me with an index finger to his lips, and pointed at the television, "Shhh, the weather is on."

I started bouncing around like a fighter warming up for a fight. "YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE! No! No. You can't come in UNTIL I invite you in! You have to leave, RIGHT NOW!" I leaped over and stood in front of the television, blocking his view.

"Really, Jo! I can't see, they're about to give tomorrow's forecast."

I reached down, grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

He crossed his arms and let out a disgusted huff of air, while glaring at me. "That was so rude."

"How – why…how were you able to get in here?"

"It's complicated."

I stomped my foot. I actually stomped my foot and bellowed, "ERIC – GET OUT NOW!"

"Make me."

I was incredulous – stupefied and pissed off. I marched towards the small hall leading to my bedroom. "Don't tempt me, Eric. You are breaking and entering, and I can defend myself. I HAVE SILVER BULLETS, ERIC! Don't make me get my gun – really BIG guns!"

"Don't make me get up from this coach, Josephina. Now calm down, sit down, and let's talk."

The calmness of his delivery did not negate the threat behind his words. I tried to calculate the difference in time spans – could Eric reach me before I made it to my gun hold?

Dammit!

I surmised that he could stop me. So, I stiffly walked over to my club chair, which was adjacent to the end of the couch, and sat on its arm. "What do you want, Eric? It's late. I have to get to bed. I'm tired."

He reached over and picked up my carton of ice cream. "Jo, Jo, Jo, this is pathetic. Eating to suppress your feelings for me. So sad."

My hands balled into fists and I looked around me for something heavy to throw at him.

He replaced the ice cream on the coffee table and then picked up the framed photograph of Avis and me. My nervous system went on full alert, and a sweat broke out on my upper lip.

"Put that down! Now!" I followed my words with a lunge to grab the picture from him. He swung it away from me. I was now standing beside him, staring down at him.

"Eric, please don't mess with that. I'm not joking. It's very valuable to me."

He looked at the photograph. "Is this your friend that died in the helicopter crash?"

"I swear to God, Eric – gggiiivvve it to me!" Hints of desperation and fear had leaked into my voice as I grabbed for it again. He caught me with his left hand and held me at bay; he held the picture in his right hand, far away from me, like a tempting carrot on a string.

"Answer my question, and I will give it to you."

"Yes, that's her." How the hell does he know this stuff about me?

He swung the picture back to me and placed it in my hand. I grabbed it tight and pulled away from him, I walked over to the bookshelf and placed the picture gently back in its original location.

"You still heavily mourn her. Do you still feel like hurting yourself?"

I slowly turned to him and sputtered out, "What?...Where did you hear that? That's a lie!" I started yelling, "I - DID - NOT – TRY – TO - KILL - MYSELF – IT WAS AN ACCIDENT….How the hell do you find out about- get out! Just get out!"

"Good. Good to hear that. Now calm down and sit down."

I was literally shaking and so I worked on calming myself. Then a thought occurred to me – maybe this is why he is playing all of these mind games. "Eric, you can destroy me in probably a thousand different ways, but they will just replace me with someone else."

"I don't want to destroy you. I want you TO SIT DOWN!"

I crossed my arms over my chest, grabbing my sides and held myself tightly so that I wouldn't physically attack him. I crossed back to the chair and sat on its arm.

He crossed his arms, I felt like he was mimicking me to mock me. He looked towards the television and quietly stated, "I have decided to break a very important rule of mine – in your favor. I have decided – to see you again. I don't see anyone more than once…or, it's extremely rare when I do…but, I feel that we have incomplete business…and I most definitely am not making any kind of promise of any sort."

I could feel my face getting warm. I started digging my nails into my sides so hard that it hurt and I had to stop. I uncrossed my arms and clasped my hands in my lap. I started rocking like a madman in an insane asylum.

I was struggling to keep it together. I grounded out from behind clenched teeth, "Oh really? What? Did you lose a bet? Oh – or is this some kind of prank that you have to do because you're rushing a vampire fraternity? Huh?...Well, it is really…damn decent of you. This is an incredible public service - that you provide. Listen…I couldn't possibly…possibly – cut in. It wouldn't be fair to your other…appointments."

Eric slowly smiled, he looked so self-satisfied. "Ah, Josephina, you are jealous. I'm touched."

"Eric, I'm not going to be part of a plan to make her jealous."

"Who?"

You know that I'm referring to Sookie! I'm so sick of your stupid games. FINE! You want to play - then let's play. I'm about to put the fear of God in you, and I will so enjoy watching you run for the hills. Bah-bye, asshole!

"Eric – I need to tell you something, it's a serious matter, very serious. Please…please don't judge me harshly." If I were in a movie, this is when a camera would zoom in for a close up of my face. Stop fucking around, focus Jo!

"Eric – I have a chemical imbalance that makes me…I'm a stalker…I stalk people that I date. It's true…I've had restraining orders against me, three actually. Two were legit, but the third was a misunderstanding… I stalk because…I can't control myself…I fall in love so quickly and then become obsessive…AND - I ran out of my regulating medication several days ago, and I'm not doing so well…This is the ugliness that is my life… Eric - if we keep seeing each other, then…I will start…dammit Eric, it's already started…I looked at china patterns this morning, and registered us at Pottery Barn! I'm sooooo sorry. Please just go. Don't tell anyone about this – please!"

I brought it home by covering my face with my hands and made little sniffling sounds.

That is probably one of my best performances, ever. I had actual tears in my eyes – damn, I'm good - and I wiped them away, sniffling and swallowing. I darted a glance at him to see his reaction.

He was staring at me and his face blank of all emotion, I call this look his 'stone face.' He pursed his lips, shook his head from side to side, and made a suction-clicking sound with his tongue, out the side of his mouth. He finally spoke, speaking with a quiet, whispery voice, "It's eerie how much we have in common."

I had to curl my lips in and bite down on them so that I wouldn't scream or smile.

I scrutinized my uninvited guest…while taking a moment to mourn the death of my most faithful and beloved method of getting rid of unwanted men. Damn, that ALWAYS works, especially the last part. They practical run away…Maybe it only works on human males.

I decided to change tactics and use the 'direct and ugly' method. In a no-nonsense manner, I said, "Eric, I don't want to see you again, other than in a professional capacity and only in public places. Most importantly, I don't want to help you make someone jealous."

I paused to see his reaction to my last sentence. His stone face now held a surly expression. He cocked his head and looked at me with a look that said, 'poor pitiful, jealous Jo.'

I switched tactics again, and decided on using the 'vulgar and rude' method. "I sure as Hell don't have anything special between my legs that you could possibly be 'jones-ing' for – I'm sure you've seen it all and have had it all at least a hundred times over – no, more like a thousand times over. You're a thousand years old – you're older than dirt!"

Then I slam-dunked with "I'm not interested, do you understand? I'm saying 'no,' and 'no' means 'no!' …You're too much of a drama princess for me."

I closed out with a snide, "It's just too - complicated." Eat your own words, asshole.

Eric slowly stood up, and took his time adjusting his clothing. He was wearing a dark grey monochromatic ensemble. It looked like it was made of silk; his pants, shirt, and jacket had been tailored to perfectly display and accentuate his incredible body. He looked spectacular and wickedly sexy – asshole that he was.

While straightening his sleeves, he spoke quietly and slowly, crisply enunciating every word, "It's over when I say it is over."

He walked towards the front door without looking at me, while speaking. "Now get to bed, you need your rest. I'll call you."

He changed direction, swerving away from the front door and walked over to my dining table and picked up my cell phone. He started punching keys. Is he sending someone a text – with my phone?

He answered my question as if he had read my mind, "I'm entering my private number into your phone. Call me at this number, not on the bar's main line, especially when you have a personal message for me." He winked at me.

I decided not to argue with him, because he was leaving, and that was my goal – getting him out of my house. But, I had to know, "Wait. Tell me how you were able to get into my house without my permission."

"Krigaren."

"What? 'Krig-er?' Wh-what is that?"

He repeated it slowly for me, "Krigaren."

He opened the front door and while he was half way through the portal, he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder, and then said, "Oh, by the way. Your vibrator needs new batteries." He smiled and then exited, closing the door behind him. He seemed to instantly disappear.

I stormed through my house, cursing a blue streak that would have made a sailor blush. I slam, banged, locked, and re-checked every door and window in the place.

'Krigaren,' what the fuck is 'krigaren?'

Tomorrow's goal – find out how to keep vampires out of my house!