"Did you sign the papers?"

Oops.

"Nope," Cal picked up the folder on his desk. He started to read the document Gillian had given him.

"Are you just reading it now?" Her tone was full of accusation. Cal supposed he deserved that. "I gave it to you a week ago."

"I was busy."

"Do you do it to wind me up?"

Cal looked up at her, surprised by the sudden astuteness. Gillian took a seat opposite his desk, resting her hands on her belly. She looked beautiful and he felt a pang of guilt; he was meant to be turning over a new leaf. "I'll read it now."

"We're meeting with the lawyers in fifteen minutes."

He had also forgotten about that. Maybe on purpose. Meetings with the lawyers were always so dull. "You're betta at dealin' with this stuff than I am."

"And all I asked you to do was read the document, sign it and sit next to me in the meeting so it looked like we had at least discussed it."

Cal thought they had discussed it.

"This stuff is important Cal."

"I know," he sighed. "But it's also morbid."

"You had the same exact conversation with me about Emily several years ago."

"Guilty as charged. I wasn't listenin'."

Gillian looked hurt.

"I'm listenin' now."

Gillian looked despondent.

Cal got up and moved around his desk to sit next to her. He physically turned her chair so she was facing him. He looked her deep in her blue eyes. "I'm crap at this."

Gillian didn't react.

"I'm crap at listenin' to you and very crap at stuff that's to do with the runnin' of this place. But this was important because it was about our family and I let you down. I'm sorry luv."

Gillian watched him neutrally. She had initiated conversations about what would happen now that they were having a baby. A lot of contingency plans. Like if Cal died, his share of the business would be divided between Gillian, the baby and Emily. Or if Gillian died, her share would now be split between Cal and the baby. And if they both died, her brother and his wife had agreed to look after the baby. The business would go into trust. Gillian was willing to give Eli and Ria shares. That was what the meeting with the accountant had been about. She was being practical because that's what she did. Cal was resisting because that's what he did.

"When there's somthin' important you want me to do. Don't just give me a piece of pape-a and tell me to read it. Tell me what it is and why it's important. And then I'll know to make it a priority. Othawise whateva else I'm doin' is far more interestin'."

"Simple instructions right?"

Cal nodded. "Yes." He figured he could deal with that. "I am male afta all."

Gillian had the good grace to smile. She reached over and picked up the folder Cal had barely started looking at. She handed it to him and looked him in the eye. "Cal. This is a copy of our last will and testament. It's important. I need you to read it and sign it. We're meeting with the lawyers in ten minutes to go over it."

"Got it."

PJ

First wedding anniversaries were important but also tricky affairs. Unfortunately, they had both completely blown the first one. It had fallen in the middle of their first round of IVF and it had been emotional and largely forgotten. Gillian remembered, of course she did, but aside from having dinner out in a restaurant, that's about as far as the celebrations went. Which had been fine at the time but now... now that Cal had thought about it, now that Gillian was pregnant and last year's bleakness was behind them, it seemed the right time to actually mark the occasion properly. It felt like the start of their marriage anyway, with the baby on the way.

So Cal had to make it special, but not overly elaborate, otherwise Gillian would expect that for every occasion. He definitely wanted to make it special for her though. He wanted her to know how much he loved her and appreciated her. And it was doubly important this time around because she was now eight months pregnant with his baby, so it wasn't just about her being his wife anymore, it was about her being the mother of his child. She was huge and getting to the point where she couldn't rationalise being uncomfortable anymore. The weather was getting warmer as spring came in to full swing, and Gillian complained about being constantly too hot, with her internal warming system. The baby pressed on her bladder, making her want to pee very ten minutes; it pressed into her stomach, making her lunch back up to burn her throat. The baby made her retain water so her ankles had swollen severely; her pelvis was shifting wider to make room for the birth which caused her back to constantly ache. She was getting miserable and irritable.

Cal wasn't one for Hallmark cards. They were definitely not his preferred choice in expressing how he felt. He was a man of actions. Actions were much louder than words. He was an action man, Gillian was a verbal woman. So there had to be mix in there somewhere; a compromise that would soothe both of their needs. First things first though, Cal lead Gillian out on to the deck, loaded her back up with cushions and left her on a lounger with a blanket, just in case, and a raspberry cordial and cranberry juice; her favourite drink at the moment. Then he swiftly made an entree sized salad to curb her after work hunger; mesculin lettuce, three cherry tomatoes so it wasn't too acidic, cucumber, avocado, pumpkin seeds, feta, olives, grated carrot, pine nuts, mung beans and a raspberry dressing. The dressing was a vinaigrette, so to counter the acidity of that, Cal whisked it into honey. The result was a creamy raspberry flavoured but sweet dressing. It was very thick, so Cal used it sparingly. He took the salad outside. He wanted Gillian out of the way so he could surprise her. Otherwise she would sit at the breakfast bar and eyeball everything he made. And to be fair, probably interfere.

The sun was sitting low in the background, bathing the back yard in its warmth but Gillian was shaded from its full wrath by the house. "Pre-dinna snack," Cal said by way of offer.

Gillian gave him a warm smile and sat up slightly higher. "This is good," she said around her first mouthful. "Thanks."

"Entirely welcome," Cal sat near her feet and pulled them into his lap. He started rubbing her left foot. He caught a flash of delight on her face. Too easy.

"You know, considering it is our wedding anniversary, I should really be doing something nice for you too."

Cal watched her impassively. "You're havin' my baby. I think that's pretty nice."

Gillian blushed. She pretended to study her salad intently. And then it seemed she had no response to his comment because she just looked back up at him wordlessly, a little Mona Lisa smile on her lips.

Cal switched feet and gave her a sudden grin. "Maybe we could think of sumthin' nice to do late-a."

Gillian blushed harder, so her ears turned red too. Cal's lewd grin turned into an amused smile. He loved to tease her and make her blush. But he wasn't sure he had seen her blush so intensely before.

"Is it too hot for you out here?" He asked innocently. "Or are you embarrassed?"

Gillian gave a short laugh. She swallowed her mouthful. "I'm embarrassed at your blatant attempts at trying to get me into bed." She paused. "And you also make me feel all hot inside."

Cal laughed and lowered her feet back to their cushion on the recliner as he got to his feet. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Well, you keep that thought in mind and I'll make dinna." This close, he could see the flecks of black around the iris of her blue eyes.

"How long am I going to have to keep that thought in mind?" Gillian called to his retreating back.

"Until afta dinna," Cal ducked inside. He peeled and quartered potatoes for mash. Then he put chicken breast in the oven. While he waited for both items to cook he made an avocado salsa out of the leftovers from Gillian's salad. He went out to retrieve her bowl and see if she needed anything else. She had her head resting back against a pillow and her eyes closed, so he didn't disturb her. Cal took her empty bowl and glass back inside. An alarm was going off to tell him to turn the chicken over.

Within fifteen minutes the chicken was ready and Cal was mashing potatoes. The neighbourhood was so quiet he could hear Gillian shift in her chair in between plunges with the masher. A few seconds later she appeared in the kitchen.

"Great timin' sweetheart. Dinna is ready."

Gillian moved to sit at the small worn kitchen table. "Nope," Cal stopped her. "We're sittin' at the big kids table tonight." He saw the amused curl of Gillian's lips before she slowly walked away. Cal followed her with warm plates a few minutes later. She was sitting at the head of the table. Cal had set places properly for once, a lit candle between them. Probably a bit hokey, but they had never done a candle light dinner before. Gillian complimented the food again.

"Have a good nap?"

"Uh huh," she nodded. "I noticed you cleaned up in here."

"Consida that your anniversary present then," Cal said facetiously.

Gillian smirked at his comment and Cal smiled. They both knew by the end of the week it would more than likely back to his organised mess. But at least Cal had made an effort. And at least Gillian wasn't niggling at him about it.

"Thanks," Gillian added quietly.

When dinner was finished Cal cleared their plates. Gillian dismantled the place settings and helped him do dishes, even though he told her to go and sit and relax. He drew her a bath and then had to coax her into it.

"It's too hot for a hot bath," she said even though she eyed the bubbles with interest.

"Hume-a me," Cal tried.

Gillian turned on him suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"It's a pleasant surprise, I promise," Cal reached for the bottom of her shirt. Gillian raised her arms and allowed him to pull it off over her head. He held her hand tightly as she stepped into the water. Her eyes widened in shock. "What do you think?"

Gillian sank quickly into the water, sighed and leaned back against the bath. "I think you've polished up that armour, sir knight." Her blue eyes flickered towards him.

Cal puffed out, proud. The water was luke-warm. Enough to keep her skin from getting chilly, but not so hot that she would feel light headed or uncomfortable. "Enjoy your bath then," he kissed the top of her head.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna be back," Cal told her casually, slipping out of the room again. He made dessert. Or at least assembled it. It was chocolate sauce and ice cream, with marshmallows and fresh blue berries, now that they were coming in to season. Cal had ice cream and blue berries only.

"You really are in the mood for spoiling me," Gillian said with eyes wide in pleasant surprise as she raised her hands out of the water to take the bowl.

"I'm hopin' you'll return the fave-a late-a," Cal wiggled his eyebrows over a mischievous grin, settling himself cross legged on the floor.

"I thought we had already negotiated in favour of that." Gillian took her first mouthful.

"Just makin' sure I sweeten the deal."

Gillian giggled.

"I just want you to see how much I do actually appreciate you." Cal swallowed his mouthful of ice cream. "I'm not always very good at expressin' that."

"Hmm," Gillian mused.

"Especially cos of the baby."

Gillian gave him a tight smile of agreement. She wasn't going to rub it in, but she whole heartedly agreed and he felt a little worse for being such a dick.

"But you shouldn't stay in there too long," Cal told her. Even though he knew the buoyancy would be doing wonders for her back and feet and the cool water would help keep her internal temperature down. "You'll get too cold."

"I know," Gillian sighed.

"I'll swap the bath for a back rub."

Gillian's eyebrows rose in interest. "You better spoil me like this on my birthday too."

'How sad,' Cal thought, that he could do a few nice things for her, stuff that he did on a daily basis (cook dinner, rub her feet) and she would consider herself spoiled, because he happened to do them all at once. She deserved so much better than that. Hadn't he promised her he would be a better man for her? That he would fight everyday to prove that he deserved to be with her? He filled his silence by slowly sucking on his ice cream.

"You know you really can be sweet when you try."

"Yeah, when I try," Cal agreed softly. He saw Gillian's miniature frown. He finished his dessert. "All right. Ready to get out?"

Gillian put her last spoonful in her mouth and scraped down the bowl.

"Want to lick it too?" Cal teased.

"Don't tempt me."

Cal took their plates back to the kitchen, chucked them in the dishwasher, and now that it was full set it to run. Then he went back to the bathroom and helped her out of the water, taking her weight so she was steadier on her feet. The bump out the front upset her balance, which was also compounded by her shifting hips. It was funny, this was the second time that Cal had been through a pregnancy and he hadn't read one baby book in the last eight months, and yet he remembered every aspect. He remembered Zoe complaining about how much her back ached, how she couldn't remember what was on the shopping list, or how the sight of red meat made her feel sick. Gillian didn't complain, but Cal knew anyway. He knew because he had experienced this before, but also because he could read the moments of discomfort on her face and confusion when she went to find something that wasn't there. So sub-consciously, Cal kept her phone with him, wrote down the shopping list, kept extra avocados in the house because she craved them, made sure there weren't oranges in her vicinity, because they made her queasy, just the smell of them; made sure she had a pillow under the baby while she slept and rubbed her feet and back every time she stopped moving long enough for him to get to her.

They moved to the bedroom. Cal helped her dress in pyjamas. The top didn't button over her belly anymore, and she was too hot, so she wore one of the skin tight tank tops that showed every curve and bump on her body. She only wore them at home or under a button up shirt at work. Cal liked them. A lot. He could see everything.

"Stop staring at me," Gillian huffed lightly.

"You wear that and expect me not to stare?" Cal asked innocently. He crossed to Gillian's dresser and picked out a body lotion that was high in vitamin E; supposed to be good for stretch marks. Cal turned towards the bed. "How am I gonna rub your back with that on anyway?"

Gillian was about to lie back. She sat up straight again and pulled the shirt off over her head, ruffling her hair. She hugged it to the front of her body and dropped heavily to the mattress, on her side, her bare back exposed to Cal's side of the bed. Cal admired the curve of her shoulders and hips for a second and then climbed up behind her.

"I'm so tired," Gillian murmured.

"Tough business this growin' someone else," Cal supplied.

"Yeah," Gillian agreed, curling her bare arm around a pillow and burying her face in it.

"You warm enough luv?"

"Yes," her response was slightly muffled.

"All right. Ready?"

"Yes," Gillian sing-songed.

Cal poured a generous helping of the lotion into his palm, snapped the lid back on with his right hand and threw the bottle out of his way. He leaned in closer to her and spread the lotion onto both hands, then pressed them against her back. He watched her face carefully as he ran his fingers firmly up the length of her spine. Her eyes were closed but he could see them shift under her eyelids. A little crease formed between her eyebrows and she groaned in the back of her throat. Cal moved back.

"Ohhhh god that feels so good," Gillian murmured.

"You're supposed to be relaxin'," Cal told her pleased at her reaction. Which was why he had started with her lower back. Her shoulders were where she held her tension. If he started there she would just tense up even more and then relax. Starting with her lower back meant he could get her body ready for the amount of pressure he was using and technique.

"I am," Gillian muttered.

"Am I bein' too firm?"

"No."

But Cal could see that. The frown was from surprise, not discomfort. Gillian turned further onto her stomach, hugging the pillow closer against her chest, exposing her back more to Cal. He could reach much better now.

"Mmm that feels really good," she almost whispered. "I knew there was a reason why I married you."

"Just one?"

Gillian smiled. "One or two."

"Oh excellent, I've picked up an extra point."

"Definitely getting big points today."

Cal felt her muscles relax under his fingers. He started working to the sides of her spine.

"I think I could fall asleep," Gillian murmured.

"I haven't finished yet," Cal said in a gentle tone. He rubbed his thumbs along the back of her hips, watching her face for the tiny shifts of muscles that told him he was in the right places.

"You know the thing about guys? We're hard wired to be independent. We want to rebel against everythin'. We want to be tough to prove we can look afta ourselves. So we shy away from authority and women, which is ironic, because, unless we're gay, they're the number one type of person we're tryin' to impress."

Cal paused, checked she was listening. She cracked her eyes open at him. "When a guy dates a woman he knows he has to be nice to her, othawise he won't have a chance in hell. When he finally wins her ova, all that nice stuff stops because not only do we think that was enough, us guys are arrogant enough to think that the object of our desires will neva leave because they love us. They'd only be hurtin' themselves right?"

Gillian didn't respond. She simply listened.

"Women tell men they're idiots. And I'll tell you why. Men are nice so women will fall in love with them. Then they stop. But it's that nice compassionate guy that they fell in love with and when that disappears, women fight to get it back. They constantly strive to have their man be nice to them. That's all they want. They consida doin' the dishes nice. Buyin' flowas, cookin' dinna, clearin' their research off the dinin' room table."

Gillian seemed to perk up slightly, suddenly realising the conversation had a point to it. A very specific point.

"The worst of it is, you're havin' my baby. I think the absolute least I could do is clean my stuff off the table."

"I didn't mean to nag."

"It's not about that. I read those baby books too once upon a time. I know you don't think I do, but I've read them. I know what you're goin' through. Not literally, of course, but theoretically."

He was going to make a point to read the books.

"Are you apologising?" She seemed surprised.

"Tryin'."

"You do a very good job of it."

"I'm tryin' to be nice."

"When you want to, you do a very good job of being nice."

"I know, but when I want to right? I look at you and I think 'my god, what is a woman this beautiful and amazin' and intelligent doin' with a scruff like me'?"

"I like the scruff."

"I'd be absolutely insane to do anythin' to mess it up. I know you love me but I know you have limits. I've walked right up to them before."

Gillian looked surprised again. "You knew you got close?"

Cal nodded. "Yeah I knew. Anybody with self-respect has limits."

"Are you telling me you pushed those limits to see what I would put up with?" Eyes narrowed slightly in anger.

"Abosultely not. I'm sayin' I pushed my luck with you before but I neva want to push you ova the edge. I'm sayin' sorry for bein' such a pratt sometimes."

Gillian's expression softened. His last comment hung thickly in the air. She shifted her hand to give his arm a squeeze. "You know I've always forgiven you."

Cal gave a light smile. He could see that expression of adoration he associated with her love for him.

"Why tell me all of that?" Gillian asked next.

"I want you to see me and all my imperfections because I'm not afraid of them anymore. The more you see me, the more I see that you love me."

"I really do love you."

"I know."

He spent ten long minutes working her lower back and then gradually smoothed his hands higher to the back of her ribcage. He had to resupply with lotion and started on her shoulders. She did tense up for a second as his hands curled over her scapulas but she relaxed again pretty quickly, letting out another little moan as more tension was eased away.

"Do you spend all day this wound up?" Cal asked softly.

"Mm," was the only response he got.

Cal thought about implementing a daily rub down. He quite liked the idea of it. It was the perfect way to instigate some serious touching without her getting annoyed with him. And anything that gave him unlimited access to her beautiful body was definitely a good thing. And he could be a pervert and make her feel good at the same time.

After ten minutes at the top of her back Cal ran his hands down the length of her spine again, long slow strokes to finish up. He noticed Gillian's breathing was regular and slow. Cal removed his hands, sat back on his feet and waited. She didn't move or register a reaction. He leaned over her. "Are you asleep sweetheart?" He murmured near her ear.

"Mm."

Cal kissed her temple then climbed carefully off the bed and washed his hands in the en suite. He put the body lotion back where he had found it and got a thin blanket from the hall cupboard to drape over Gillian, seeing as she was lying on top of the covers. Then re-set the coffee machine to make him a few cups in the morning, turned off lights, made sure the door was locked, stripped down to his underwear and got into bed. He turned off the lamp and settled back on his pillow, thinking about what he had done right that day and what he still had to work on. Changing habits could be done, but it was going to take a lot of conscious decision making.

"Love you," Gillian's sleepy voice came through the darkness.

"Love you too," Cal whispered back and closed his eyes.