CHAPTER 12

"The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable."

- Victor Hugo – Earth (Human)

IMPERIAL DOSADI ASSAULT CARRIER ISS DELOS, UNDER WAY

FEBRUARY 2268

It had only been two weeks since the battle at Toulagai. It just seemed like an eternity had passed. Wilkes lay on his back, watching the now-familiar Dosadi stars on the ceiling of the East Living Pod, Sooth curled up on one side of him, Eletha on the other and a puddle of kits by her side. Sometimes Corin would join them, but tonight he had wanted to be alone again. He had been spending a lot of his nights alone since Nollos died, and his friends all worried about that; It wasn't entirely normal for a Dosadi to isolate themselves that much. He listened to the warbling sound of the whirks – the little bugs always reminded him of cicadas.

He thought Eletha had fallen asleep, but Sooth was still awake. He turned his head to look at her and found her watching him. "I still have a hard time just moving on like you Dosadi do." he admitted.

"Still blaming yourself for Nollos?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah. I mean, I understand why Corin made the choice he did, I think. I just...I can't accept it. I know he doesn't, but I think he must hate my guts. Every time he sees me he has to be reminded that because of me, his mate is dead."

"Not really. Wilkes, she ran into the bay to help. If you hadn't lifted the plate off the kit, she would have tried and she still wouldn't have made it out. Probably neither of them because Corin would've run in to help. You can play what-if games forever, but no one knows what would have happened, Wilkes, only what did happen." She reached her hand up and caressed his face. "I liked Nollos too, Wilkes. She helped me a lot. But I'm glad you're alive, and glad that we knew her."

He watched her face in the dim blue-grey light of the starry sky. "Got time for a stupid question?"

She smiled, "Sure."

"How do Dosadi kiss?"

She giggled. "Nollos told me you were going to ask me that. She was always studying up on human culture and traditions and history and..." she sighed. "I miss her too." Meeting his eyes again she continued, "We don't really 'kiss'. Our faces are built differently than humanoids are."

"Oh." he was clearly disappointed.

She looked down for a second, then leaned her face in close to his, nuzzled his cheek and he felt her tongue give him a quick raspy lick. She giggled again. "That's what we do."

Wilkes smiled at her, "It's nice."

"Well...you're the first one I've done that to."

"You're kidding me. I'm your first kiss?"

Her ears drooped a little, "I told you I haven't had any close friends."

"No, no – Sooth, I'm flattered, I'm amazed I'm..." he shut up and touched her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. After a moment, he leaned closer to her, tipping his head a bit more than normal so that he didn't bash her nose and gently brushed his lips against her mouth. She inhaled sharply, her eyes wide in surprise. He pressed a bit more firmly, extending the kiss for a few seconds and then pulled away. "That's what we do, Sooth. To people we love."

He watched her trying to analyze what had just happened and he heard a muffled "About damn time." from Eletha. He couldn't help it. He started laughing, pulling Sooth close to him. There were a few muffled calls to 'be quiet!' and he tried to stifle his laughs.

Sooth pushed him back a bit, poked her head up and peered up at Eletha, "What do you mean?"

She rolled over and said, "Everyone's been hoping you two would pair up. You never know when your story will end, Sooth. You have to wring everything out of it you can." She rested her hand on Wilkes' shoulder, "You two are always happiest when you're with each other. It only makes sense. Stop being so afraid to be happy.

"You've become some of my most special friends but by all the gods you are two of the densest beings I've ever met!"

Wilkes looked over his shoulder at her. "What did I do?"

"Shush." She shook his shoulder then pointed at Sooth. "You too. Just listen for a minute. Wilkes, Dosadi are individualists in many ways, we don't have a lot of the laws and rules and such that humans do. But what lets us be individuals is because we have a really tight web of friends and family that supports us and guides us. Part of growing up Dosadi is building that net – As kits you have playmates from all over and all ages. You start finding the ones that are going to become special, your really close circle of friends. Usually by the time someone is Sooth's age, they've played at being mates with a number of different people from that inner circle, trying them out, seeing who makes a good partner for them and who doesn't until two of them find the right match and stabilize on each other. But that web is always there. And your web interacts with everyone else's. It's strong.

"But Sooth has kept herself isolated her whole life – it's almost impossible to function in our society like that. None of the people she should be able to count on for help, for counsel, for laughter, for joy, for fun are there. She's been adrift her whole life.

"And then you showed up. I don't know if it's because you're just the sweet person that you are, or because she spent so much of her kittenhood with humans or what, but you two click. You fit together. Nollos and I found out about you, Wilkes. You've wandered through your society without any roots."

"I know...But wait..How did you..."

"Shush. I'm talking." she gave his shoulder another friendly little shake. "We take care of each other, Wilkes. Always. I wasn't going to let someone rip her loose from her friends again. I was saying, you've got a lot in common with her.

"But when I see the two of you together, you're a team. I'm finally seeing that web coming into being for Sooth. And for you. Think about it: You two in the center, Corin, me, T'Laren, M'Ralin, Tovath, and Nollos close in, and it gets wider going out more and more. You two aren't just these isolated individuals any more, you're part of us."

"You are fools if you let that slip away. And Sooth, I know what you're afraid of. Don't let that stop you – I miss my mate more than anything. It hurts. But the reason it hurts is because it was so wonderful. I'll get through the hurt, and I'll find another mate because that's how I'm strongest and because T'Laren would want me to be happy again. And I will be happy again.

"I've got you, and Wilkes, and Corin, and everyone else to help me through the loss, just like I'll help them through theirs. Now, I'm going to go back to sleep. You two go back to..." she smiled, "being happy for once." And she rolled over, pressing her back against Wilkes'.

Wilkes looked at Sooth and whispered, "Who am I to argue?" and he nuzzled her cheek in a Dosadi kiss. A few moments later he heard a faint rumbling noise coming from Sooth while they cuddled. Surprised he asked, "Are you...purring?"

"I'm sorry. I can't help it."

"No! It's awesome. I didn't know Dosadi purred. Cats on Earth purr. I thought that was like unique to Earth."

"It's involuntary. It just happens when we're feeling really content or satisfied."

"That is even nicer, then. I'm going to have to try to make you purr a lot more."

IMPERIAL DOSADI ASSAULT CARRIER ISS DELOS, UNDER WAY

MARCH 2268

Another two weeks passed and their relationship had grown even closer much to the delight of their friends. Wilkes found himself feeling more and more settled aboard the Delos and found it hard to believe that only four months had passed since he left the Hood and not even a year since he graduated from the Academy. Briefly he wondered how Angie was doing aboard the Enterprise. By now, she was probably standing bridge watches and planning how to be next in line for the Captain's chair. He thought back to graduation day on the landing field at the Academy when she had told him that there was something out there for him. She had been right, as usual.

Wilkes finished putting his gear away, closed out the files on his PADD for the maintenance they'd done on Delac's Tomcat this shift, and headed back to the East Living Pod. He had gotten one of the machinists aboard to make him something special and the woman had finally finished it. He looked at the tiny little box and smiled, slipping it into his pocket. Walking through the Delos' busy corridors at shift-change always had an impact on him. You tended to forget how many people it took to keep a starship – especially a carrier – running and humming. As a Crew Leader he was usually one of the last to leave his post, which meant he was also usually one of the last to make it to chow.

Indeed, as he walked into the Pod, he could see the rest of his friends had already started in on their meals, so he made a quick stop by a replicator panel and joined them happily. He was glad to see that Corin was there – evidently Eletha had been firm with him about being alone too much. He was even teasing one of her kits, so that was a good sign. Sitting next to Sooth, as usual, he leaned in to her shoulder. "Hiya."

"Hi." she smiled back at him. "Did you like Setho's little double-drill today?"

He laughed, "No. We cycled the damn bird in and out of the launch tube three times, then we got declared 'destroyed' so we ended up sitting there reviewing maintenance procedures for the last half."

"So you loafed. We got yanked from damage control to full armor and a simulated assault transport, then back to damage control drills – while we were still in armor. That's always fun."

Everyone began sharing their stories of the day's drills and wondering if Sethos would give them the night off or run another all-hands drill in the middle of the night. Someone started passing a bottle of Dosadi whiskey around and M'Ralin and Eletha struck up an old a capella song about a famous Dosadi hero who had slain a monster that was carrying off kits in the night.

As the lighting in the 'sky' was dimming to the darker blues of late evening, he leaned close to Sooth and whispered, "Would you share a sleeping spot with me tonight? Just us?"

Eletha cocked an ear at him and smiled. "Damn'd Dosadi ears." he thought to himself.

Sooth smiled shyly and said, "OK."

Holding his hand out to her, he helped her stand up and the two of them went off in search of a comfortable spot for the night. Wilkes finally managed to steer them to one of the more isolated little platforms.

As they curled up with each other, Sooth said, "You're being a little strange tonight, Wilkes."

"I have something for you."

Puzzled she asked, "What?"

"It's a gift. Something to show you that you're special, even when I'm not right near you to tell you so. This will always tell you that." He pulled out the little box and handed it to her. Silently, she opened it up, pulling out a tiny silver bell with a clasp. Holding it up, she gave it a very slight shake, listening to the faint, musical tinkling sound. "It'll clip on your earring. It's tritanium so it'll never rust, and I made sure it'll be faint enough so that you can hear it whenever you move your head, but it won't be very loud, even to your ears, so it won't be distracting."

She reached up and attached the little bell with a smile. "No one's ever given me anything like this before."

"No one's ever given me what you have, Sooth."

"I haven't given you anything."

He touched her throat and cheek, "You've given me a home, Sooth. You've given me your trust, and you've given me the most real happiness I've ever had. I haven't had any really bad times, I've just been sort of...neutral I guess. Just existing. But you make me feel alive." He pulled her close into a hug. They had worked out a method that worked even with the differences between the two species.

As he held her close, he realized he was getting more nervous by the second. "Sooth, if I ask you something, will you promise to at least give me a chance to explain if it comes out wrong?"

"Okay, I guess. What is it?"

He tried to keep his nerve intact. This is ridiculous, he thought. We're both adults. I feel like I'm 13 again. "Well, um." He went for the detached approach, "in uh, your culture, how does say, one person let another person know that they...well...want to...mate."

Her eyes got very wide. Her voice squeaked, "ME?"

He squeezed her tight, "Yes, you." the trembling was back again, "I don't want to push you into anything Sooth, I never want to make you uncomfortable, I never want you to be mad at me. If you don't want to, I won't ask again"

There was a long silence that he didn't dare to break. "I." more silence. "Are you sure? With me?"

He kissed the top of her head, "Yes. There's no one else on any world that I would want to with, but you."

"Wilkes, I've never..."

"That's OK, Sooth."

"But...Wilkes, humanoids are the most prolific species in the galaxy for a reason. I don't know anything. Dosadi aren't that...creative about it. What if I..."

He interrupted her. "Hush. Sooth, I don't care about all that crap. What I care about is you. Being close to you, being part of you, being part of your life. We'll figure our own ways out to have fun."

"You won't laugh at me?"

He kissed her mouth. "Never."

Much later, he nuzzled at her ear, listening to the faint purring sound coming from her throat as she slept in his arms. It wouldn't be the last time in his life he wished that he could purr.

He opened his eyes the next morning to find that the 'sun' was already well up and that he could hear the sounds of the people on duty today heading out to start their shifts. To his delight, Sooth was still asleep in his arms. Slowly sliding his arm out from under her, he thought that he'd go grab something quickly from the replicators and surprise her with it. Breakfast in bed wasn't really something the Dosadi did, but he figured today was a good day to introduce the concept.

As quietly as he could, he pulled on some shorts and climbed down to the deck, getting a couple startled glances from people nearby. As he made his way over to the replicator he found that everyone he passed was grinning at him. Even Kam twitched his ears and whiskers at him and shot him a huge smile before turning away. As he picked up the food tray, he heard Eletha say "Oh my."

He turned to face her. "Good morning!"

She had her hand over her nose. "Um, Wilkes."

"What? What is wrong with everyone this morning?"

She giggled, "Um. Our noses are a lot better than yours."

"So?"

"Scent seems to really cling to you humans."

"Scent? Wha...oh. Shit."

"You really need a shower, Wilkes." She was smiling from ear to ear. Leaning close to him, she gave him a quick Dosadi kiss and said, "I couldn't be more happy." and she moved over to the replicator leaving him standing there feeling like he had just walked into a classroom naked.