Chapter 13
I sat on the front porch. I was miserable. I hated myself for going to the wedding. It was a dumb mistake. I knew the other wolves knew I went because Billy told Quil and Embry when they came looking for me earlier. This meant they told the others.
"You're an idiot Jake. A real idiot" Leah yelled at me appearing out from the forest.
"I don't know why you can't leave me the hell alone!" I shouted back.
She was really starting to get on my nerves. She always showed up when she was never wanted and the cloud of misery always hung around her.
"You keep ragging on me. If you want to pester someone, pester your own brother! At least you're supposed to pester him!"
She huffed and puffed and muttered a few profanities under her breath.
"Will you two give it a rest" said Quil.
"Yes…Please! You two sound like an old married couple. You're always arguing." replied Embry.
I made a face at the two of them and at the corner of my eye I saw Leah blush. Why would she blush? She absolutely loathed me. Quil and Embry gave each other a look and smirked.
I wanted to smack the back of their heads. Those two have thought for a while that Leah has, in their words, a thing for me. I don't see it. She was a little bit cute but I didn't like her the way Sam did. No way! If you love someone you don't annoy them to death.
"Well he shouldn't have gone to that dumb wedding… or at least not alone!" Leah retorted. "He's an idiot"
I jumped from the porch and walked straight for her. I waged my finger in her face. "You don't give a damn if I went alone or not so stop pretending you do." I yelled at her. "You just need to leave me alone! I am sick and tired of you always being around when I don't want you the around."
She looked hurt but stared right at me. She smacked my finger out of the way.
We stood there, staring at each other, breathing deeply.
All of a sudden she stood on her toes and kissed me. A serge went through us. It was a very different kiss. It was sweet and easy. It was not like kissing Bella. Even though I wanted to scream to stop I couldn't. I didn't know what was better. Kissing Bella or, kissing Leah.
Leah broke the kiss and we stared at each other. Quil whistled and Embry made "oohhhh" sounds. Leah turned around, flushed, and ran into the forest. I turned around and walked to the garage.
Embry and Quil followed. I could hear them whispering behind me but I wasn't in the mood to tell them to shut-up. I was in for torment from the two of them and I was getting ready to brace it.
We walked into the garage.
"We knew it" Quil said. "You llllooooovvvvveee her"
I clenched my teeth together and balled my hands into fists.
"What's wrong lover boy? Didn't you like the kiss?" Embry taunted. I could hear the mocking smile in his voice.
I stared at the wall.
"Well" Quil prompted. "How is it to kiss a girl werewolf?"
I grabbed a screw driver and flick it over my shoulder. It missed them because they moved too fast.
"That won't get rid us Jacob" Quil said.
"You can do better then that" said Embry.
We heard a rustle in the trees and then Paul and Jared laughing.
This was just great! Two I can handle, but four. This was not going to be good.
"I can't believe it!" Jared said.
"They finally did it… took them long enough!" Paul sneered.
"Even Sam was expecting this. It was so obvious!" Quil said.
"Shut… Up…" I said through clenched teeth.
"What's up with him? Shouldn't he be happy?" Paul asked.
I turned around, ready to attack but something caught my eye and the fight left me. There, standing in the corner of the room was Seth. He was so quite I didn't even know he was there. He wasn't looking at me, or anyone for that matter. I wanted to go and say something but I didn't.
I stormed out of the garage.
They followed.
I wish they would just leave me alone. They always followed me. I hated it. The way they followed me, it was like lost puppies finding an older dog to lead them home. It was annoying!
I got to the forest and punched a tree so hard that my hand went through half of it.
"Damn" I muttered as I felt the tree splinters going into my hand. I started to pull them out. It hurt like crazy. I might have given it a little brake but I was sure it would heal in about five minutes.
"I think he's mad" Paul said.
"Don't understand why." Jared said. "I mean now they know they both like each other."
"I don't like her!" I said raising my voice.
"He Speaks!" said Quil. "Just not the right words."
"How can I love someone if they annoy me to death?" I retorted.
"You care for her." This voice surprised me, and by the look of everyone else, surprised them too.
Seth Clearwater was standing in the back from the group. This time he wasn't looking at nothing. He was looking at me. He still looked like a little boy even though he was not much younger then I.
"What" I asked. I was confused. I didn't care for her. Did I? I wasn't sure.
"Think about it" he started. "Who was the first one to come to Leah's rescue a few months ago? It was you Jacob not anyone else. And don't say no-one was around because everyone was close enough."
I considered this. Ok. So maybe I did like her a little. Very little, but she doesn't like me because she annoys me. I made sure to tell the others that.
Everyone sighed.
"What!?" I asked, exasperated.
"We've all told you this Jacob." Jared said.
"She likes you. Girls are weird like that. Some girls say I love you. Some girls ignore you. Some girls try to impress you. Some girls try to flirt with you. And some girls annoy the hell out of you. But underneath all of that announce, they love you." Jared continued.
Embry spoke up next. "Didn't you see how Leah always cared about you? She didn't like to see you hurt. Just think about right now! She didn't like what going to that wedding did to you. She also didn't like that way you cared about Bella and not her. She was jealous Jacob. She has always been jealous."
"Yea" Seth said. "And you didn't have to live with her when you disappeared Jacob. She was a wreck. When others came by she composed herself but behind her bedroom door she was worried."
I thought about it. I tried and tried to convince myself that it was a lie. Tried to push out that feeling but I couldn't get away from it.
I wanted to go and find her. I wanted to go talk to her. I had to ask her. But I didn't want to know. I want to love Bella. My heart tells me to love Bella. But my head says that she will never love me the way she loves Cullen. They are already married. I am too late. I wondered if I could love someone like I loved Bella.
I understood why Bella held herself together. This breaking of the heart hurt like hell.
I looked into the eyes of everyone around me. They all said the same thing. I didn't need my wolf self to tell what they were thinking. I scrunched my face and I ran. I didn't turn into a wolf. I just ran.
- -
I came out onto first beach. The sun was setting and I've been running for a while. I pretty much avoided everyone and that's what I wanted.
It was nice on the beach. The clouds that were covering the sun had a reddish tint and waves were not harsh. There was a nice serine feeling. It was peaceful and a great thinking place.
I started toward the fallen tree, whitened from age, and that's when I saw her.
She was just sitting there. She looked amazing but I would never tell her that. She didn't seem to know I was there and I was going to keep it that way.
I started to back up slowly. SNAP! I stepped on a tree branch and it snapped in half. Her head snapped in my direction. Her face turned from annoyance to a shy, sheepish smile. She patted the seat next to her and I sat next to her.
She made me feel like a little kid. I mean she is Sam's age. Not that I think that's old, but she is older then me.
We sat in silence and I started to wonder what I knew about her.
Leah is the only female member of the La Push pack. She transformed into a werewolf around the same time as her brother. This transformation is believed to be what caused the heart attack and death of her father.
She dated Sam for years, until Emily came to visit and Sam imprinted on her. Sam then left Leah for Emily. Leah feels like Sam betrayed her, but she still longs for him, or that's what I thought.
Leah is pretty bitter and cynical, and constantly antagonizes the pack by thinking about things that we want to avoid, such as Embry's parentage.
Even though these characteristics started to make me believe she was a horrid person I remembered some of Sam's memories of her. And, even some of my own.
The way her hair glints in the sunshine. The way her laugh sounds like bells and the way she was worried about me.
Could someone be so good and so bad at the same, I wondered? I glanced at her and she looked at me. We held that glance.
There was a surge between us. Something I never felt before. It was so strong. I wanted to reach out and push that piece of hair out of her face. Hell, I wanted to hold her hand, just touch her.
It was the weirdest feeling in the world. I never had this feeling before. It wasn't like when I was with Bella. I loved her but she was never loved me in return. Not the way I wanted to be loved back. Leah did though. But was I really in love with her.
My head screamed yes. I looked at how beautiful she was. And for the briefest of time I forgot all about Bella. I couldn't stop thinking of Leah.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath but I still saw her face. It was there. I saw the perfect shape of her eyes. The way her smile made her eyes shine and my mind kept going on and on about Leah.
The more I thought about her the more a realization came to me.
No No No No No! That could not be happening! There was no way. It doesn't happen between werewolves. No! No! I didn't want this. I never wanted to feel this! Why did this have to happen?
But just as I was screaming NO! I never could get my mind of Leah. Then a strong erg came over me.
"Leah" I said. Without thinking about the cost of my words I said "I think I've imprinted on you."
--
We talked for a long time. We just sat there on the tree talking. It wasn't a hard chat. It was easy. It was very nice.
I found out a lot about Leah that night and the most surprising was how she could keep a secret. For the past two months she has been able to hide from the whole pack that she imprinted on me.
I was surprised but it would make sense. If werewolves imprinted on soul mates and their soul mate just happened to be a werewolf wouldn't the other werewolf have to imprint too?
It did make sense but it still confused me.
"But how did you keep it from us. No-one knew. No-one knew at all." I said as we rode in the Rabbit.
I was driving her home. She could have ran, but she didn't want the others to hear what she was thinking and I didn't blame her. I didn't want to talk to anyone else right now.
"Well, actually one person did know."
"Who?" I asked astonished.
"She wasn't a werewolf. I decided I'd talk to Emily. I asked her not to say anything but even though I am still mad about Sam, I'm not really angry now. I understand what Sam feels and I know it's not something about me being a bad girlfriend."
I wanted to wrap my arm around her to comfort her. She sounded so sad but I didn't know if I should. So I didn't. However, she scouted closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder so I wrapped my arm around her. We were at her house so I felt it safe that I could wrap both of my arms around her.
She started crying and all I did was comfort her. This behavior would usually cause me to turn away from the sad girl but I couldn't. I felt a twinge in my heart just thinking about running away.
We sat there for a minute until she wiped under her eyes.
"I'm sorry" she said. "I don't know what came over me"
"It's ok" I said comforting her. I stroked her cheek.
"I have to go now" she said.
I sighed.
"It doesn't get easier" she warned. "Trust me; it gets worst"
I smiled at her while pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'll survive"
She blushed and got out of the rabbit. I waited until she walked into her house and then I drove away.
Now I had a lot of thinking to do. Why did I imprint on Leah? How is it possible we are soul mates? How was I going to tell the pack? Billy?
My mind didn't stay long these topics. I had bigger matters to worry about. What was Leah thinking? When will I see her next? Was she thinking about me? These are the questions I thought about. These are the questions that I wondered about.
These questions made me happy. Happy for forgetting. Happy for starting a new. I loved this feeling of happiness. It left me before, but now, it was back, and I was grateful.