Thirteenth.
My reaction to my mother's death was very different than when I lost my father. She was my best friend, my lifeline. I couldn't imagine how I would survive living without her. We had never been apart for more than a few hours. I grieved in a way I never had. It was days before I emerged from my bed, I went through the motions of everyday life, but I felt an emptiness in my heart that refused to be filled. The only thing that brought me any joy was Maddie. She was starting to walk and so very proud of herself. She would take a few steps before her legs turned to jelly and she landed on her bottom. She never cried, she would just clap her hands and smile and try again.
I told myself that if my baby girl could pick herself up, dust herself off and try again with a smile on her face, who was I to wallow around due to circumstances beyond my control. Children teach us so much about ourselves. I picked Maddie up and twirled around the yard with her, and it felt good. I felt happy. The pain of losing my mother was still there, but I refused to let it control me anymore. I looked into Maddie's deep blue eyes and smiled; it was all going to be okay.