Chapter 14 Mum's the word

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.

Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] for betaing.

[AN: I have become aware recently that the 'Illustrated guide to Twilight' has back stories for most of the wolves. And names. Paul's name is evidently Lahote. (la hottie? Yes indeed!) Call me change averse but I am stuck, in my head, with the names I have given characters previously. So Quil's mum is still Rowana for me. You will have to deal with it. *grin*]

The woman approached Bella slowly; worry still etched on her face.

"I'm-m s-s-sorry," blubbered Bella. "I-I t-tried to apologise…"

"You must be Bella Swan," she said in a low, gentle voice.

"I really wish I wasn't," she whimpered.

The woman put her arm around Bella's shoulder and shepherded her towards the counter.

"Come on," she said.

She guided her to the stool behind the counter and made her sit down; placing her grocery basket down on the floor. She passed her the box of tissues from the counter and let her take a handful.

Bella blew her nose and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she said again.

"I suspect you have had a pretty intense couple of weeks, young lady."

She nodded. And in a fit of she didn't know what, she just started babbling. "I should have broken up with Jake before the battle but there just wasn't time. And then," she gulped in a breath, "…and then Quil happened… and then Jake got all upset… and then… everyone got hurt and…" She stopped suddenly and looked at the woman. "And why am I telling you all this, you must be his mother…" she pointed out. Holy crow, she didn't even know if she knew about the wolves and here she was just babbling about battles. She hoped the woman wouldn't notice her mistake.

The woman smiled. "Yes, I am. I'm Rowana Ateara," she introduced herself.

"Is he coming back?"

"I don't think so."

"Good. I just don't think I could handle that right now." She blew her nose again. "God, I am so stupid… I tried to write a note to apologise… and I shoved it under his door… but it was really rushed and kind of imperfect… it had things crossed out… and all he has read is the stuff I crossed out not the stuff I meant."

"That sounds just like him," said his mother. "But I am not a big fan of perfect myself. I appreciate much more, the heartfelt messages." Rowana studied her. "It's okay, I know about the pack," she added.

Bella emitted a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness, I would be in even more trouble if I had blown that as well…"

Rowana smiled.

Bella thought of something. "I meant to ask Billy… what was Quil's punishment at the Tribal Council?"

"Oh Bella, the tribal council doesn't punish. The Quileute follow Native American justice ideals. They try to get all the people affected together." She studied her perceptively. "Do you want me to explain it?"

"Yes please, there is so much stuff I don't know."

"What we deal with is: why did this act happen in the first place? There's a reason why the harm has occurred. Let's deal with that. Maybe there is a history of problems between the two people. If we can get to the bottom of a problem, all the other stuff will fall into place. The damage can be acknowledged by one, and he can go away happy from the process, knowing that the other said that they're not going to do it again. Something as simple as maybe one neighbour sold the other a dodgy car. They might still be angry about that, so they complain about their dog barking."

"I see," said Bella.

"Involving all the parties, especially the offender, can help to restore dignity and worthiness. Through the peacemaking process, an offender can come to feel better, especially when the person can say, 'I'm responsible, and I'm accountable.' That does a lot to the spirit, the mind and the body of those who participate in the process," she shrugged. "It often means that they don't reoffend. And if the relatives are also involved, they can feel relief too, and those who are also interested in the process would feel the same way. So in the end, there's healing at all the different levels."

"But you didn't have everybody," Bella commented.

"No, we didn't. Jake was gone and you were… unavailable."

"No one tried to contact me." Her brow furrowed. "Did they?"

Rowana didn't say anything, but Bella could guess. "Charlie. They asked Charlie. And he didn't tell me about it. He probably thought he was protecting me from more hurt. Oh poor Quil."

Rowana looked surprised at that.

"He must have thought I said 'no'; that I wouldn't attend the meeting with him. You have to believe me. I didn't even know about it until just now." She looked slightly panicked.

"I believe you," Rowana said.

"So what happened … at the hearing?" Bella pressed.

"Quil took all the blame. He said it was all his fault. He said he caused the fight with Jake."

"Jake punched the wall, I guess he needed to hit something and he didn't want it to be me. But Quil rushed in because he thought I was in danger. He said something to Jake that drew his attention. He might not have hit anybody except for that."

"Jake hit you?"

"No… oh no… he would never… well I suppose he did hurt me… but I tried to stop him. It was like he didn't even know it was me. I was hanging off his arm… he's so big… and he just… shook me off." She wrung the tissue in her hand between her fingers; shredding it. "He threw me into the wall. It was just bad luck that my head hit the part he had broken earlier. That was how I got cut."

"But he did hurt Quil."

"Yes, but Quil didn't even try to fight him… he just let him hurt him…"

She didn't want anyone to be in trouble but it was such a mess.

"Jake sniffed at Quil and … that just seem to enrage him…" she added.

"The wolf," said Rowana. "He could smell you on Quil. You didn't need to tell him what had happened."

Bella blushed. "Yes… well… I suppose…" she blustered.

Rowana looked at her thoughtfully. "He took the blame for that too."

"No…" Bella was horrified. "Oh the idiot… it was… me…" She felt kind of weird telling his mother this, but she had already discussed it with Billy. "It was all me… I wanted to…" It was too upsetting and she felt tears start down her face again.

She wiped her eyes. "I have made such a mess out of all this," she sniffed. "And I think I have cried more in the last two days than I have in the last two years…"

"Maybe you just needed to get it all out of your system," commented Rowana solicitously.

They sat there for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

Bella sighed. She reached for her wallet.

"I need to pay for the groceries for Billy."

"They're for Billy Black?"

"Yes, he has no food in his house. I stayed there last night. He's not looking after himself and I suppose that… is my fault too."

"I can put them on his tab."

"No, I want to pay."

"I understand," Rowana said, and it seemed like she did. Bella paid for the groceries and carried them out to her truck.

When she got back to the Black house she made sandwiches for lunch, a casserole for the next few days and a fruitcake. She hoped it was okay for diabetics to eat fruitcake. She and Billy sat together watching TV. Charlie came over when the game came on and after sticking around for fifteen minutes or so she took the opportunity to head home. It was Saturday night and she felt like being home. She hugged Charlie really hard and knew that he loved her and worried about her in his own way. Even if he could never say it out loud.

When she got home she showered and did some neglected chores around the house. She wanted to show she was recovered; that the old caring Bella was back. The one who had parented her parents. When Charlie got home, she had dinner ready and waiting in the oven and the kitchen gleamed. At least she could care for Charlie, but she still had no idea what to do about Quil and Jake.

But she had forgotten the thought that crossed her mind at the feminine products stand.

FF_2154210_ - 14/05/2011 02:07:00 PM