I slept hard due to the codeine, and it was good. I had only one rude awakening during the night when I tried to turn over in my sleep. The result was red-hot agony. My body must have learned its lesson because the morning sun was streaming through my window when I opened my eyes again.
Blinking up at the ceiling, I checked the status of my injuries. The overall ache was still present, and every time my chest expanded, I winced in pain. I had to force myself to inhale normally—the doctor told me that repeated shallow breathing could cause air sacs in my lungs to collapse, which would increase the chances of bacteria multiplying and causing an infection.
I experienced an epic fail when trying to get myself into a sitting position. Just the thought of rolling onto my side was painful, and when I made a move in that direction, tears sprung to my eyes and a strangled cry got stuck in my throat. I had never hurt so badly in my life.
Lying on my back, I tried to figure out what to do. I couldn't stay in bed all day—at the very least, nature was demanding I go to the bathroom. I'd either have to fight through the pain or hope I could hold out until Alice or Edward arrived, whenever that was.
Given the brightness of the room, it seemed to be mid-morning. When I turned my head to the nightstand, I was greeted with a surprising sight. Two glasses—one filled with orange juice and the other with water—sat beside a large blueberry muffin, an apple, and one of my prescribed industrial-strength ibuprofen pills.
A smile spread across my face at the thoughtfulness of the gesture. I assumed it was from Edward since the clock showed it was almost 9:30. From the way Alice sounded when she'd suggested not to call her early, I doubted she would have made it over yet.
I ogled the pain pill shamelessly. The nightstand was too far away from me to reach without moving my whole body, and the pressure on my bladder had increased to a level that couldn't be ignored much longer. The next step was clear—I had to stand up—but I didn't know how I should take it: ease myself up as slowly and carefully as possible or just get it over with in one agonizing but quick movement?
The slow method won out, and I braced my sides with my arms as I began to rotate toward the edge of the bed. I moved at a snail's pace, sweat breaking out over my forehead as I fought the pain. My lower body led the way, and eventually, I had turned all the way over onto my stomach. The good news was that my legs below my thighs now jutted off the bed in preparation for touching down on the floor. My waist still had a few inches to move before I could bend, and that was the bad news.
I took as deep a breath as I could bear while psyching myself for the pain to come. With my teeth clenched firmly together, I began to stretch my right leg to the floor.
There was a soft knock on wood that barely registered in my brain. I was too wrapped up in my efforts and trying to push through the shooting pain. The door creaked on its hinges.
"Um, Bella?"
I froze when I heard Edward's voice. I refused to even think about the picture I must have made—face-down on my stomach, in nothing but a tee shirt and cotton underwear, with most of my lower body still hanging off the bed. It was a humiliating position in which to be caught, but honestly, I was just glad that someone had come to my rescue.
"A little help?" I croaked, a desperate edge to my voice.
"Shit! Right. What do you need me to do?"
That was a good question, actually. I had to think on it.
"Uhh…maybe if I hold my ribs, you could grab my upper arms and pull me up. That might be the easiest on me."
I burrowed my arms between me and the bed, then crossed them so that my hands were supporting the opposite sides of my body. Edward gripped my arms just below the shoulder and slowly lifted me upright. It wasn't painless, but I imagined it would have hurt more without his help.
As soon as I was on my feet, he grabbed the ibuprofen and waved a hand in front of the two glasses. After I pointed to the orange juice, he brought the pill up to my mouth.
My brow furrowed as I looked down at it, almost cross-eyed. "Thanks, but I can do that part myself." I wasn't a complete invalid.
"Are you sure?"
I glanced at him to see if he was teasing me, but there was only concern in his expression. "Yeah. As long as I don't lift up my shoulders too much, I'm okay."
I washed down the pill with juice, and my eyes darted to the bedroom door. "I need to, um, go to the bathroom. You can wait in here if you want…" I trailed off, feeling awkward. I wasn't used to having conversations with hot guys without my pants on.
"I think I'll hang out in the kitchen…or something," Edward replied, also sounding uncomfortable. Like the previous night, he practically sprinted out of my room.
I stared after him, slightly confused about his reaction. Was he also weirded out by my half-dressed state? He hadn't seemed that shy when it came to his own partial nudity. Maybe it was just mine that made him anxious. I hoped that if he was bothered, it was in a good way.
I grabbed a pair of yoga pants on my way to the bathroom. It turned out to be hell getting them on, and I wished Alice was around to help. I also could have used a hand with my hair. The ends were ridiculously tangled and pieces stuck out from my head in all directions. Unable to leave it as it was, but not wanting to keep Edward waiting, I took a comb with me and looked for him.
"Thanks for the medicine and all this morning. That was really nice of you," I told him upon entering the kitchen, where he was placing a blueberry muffin on the table in front of a pulled-out chair.
"I brought this from your room," he murmured. "Thought you might be hungry. Or would you like something else? I can cook the basics well enough."
"This is great, thanks." I smiled at him, but he was staring at the floor.
"Sure." His voice was soft and hesitant.
I regarded him, carefully lowering myself into the chair. It seemed I was meeting a new side of him: Contrite Edward. I didn't know how to react to this one. His personality was usually so strong that I instinctively reacted to his lead. Now, it seemed to be up to me to take charge.
Too bad I sucked at that.
Hunger was catching up to me, and that muffin looked delicious. I started on it ravenously, but then felt self-conscious eating alone. Edward stood silently the other side of the table. I stared down at my plate for a several long moments.
"Why don't you—"
"The barn is—"
We spoke at the same time and chuckled awkwardly. He gestured to me to continue, so I finished my sentence and invited him to sit down.
"I fed the horses and let them out into the field," Edward told me after taking a seat. "They were fine, though Rosalie did seem a little unhappy. She finished all of her grain, but something was…off. We should keep an eye on her today."
I felt a buzz of surprise, but I managed to nod casually in agreement. Did his use of "we" mean that he'd be hanging around for the day? I hoped so. No matter how slowly my head wanted to take our developing relationship, my heart seemed to have a mind of its own.
Edward must have picked up on something in my reaction because worry appeared on his face. He gestured with his hands as if to placate me.
"I don't have anything important going on this weekend, so it's really not a big deal for me to come check on her a few times…if that's what you want, of course. Feel free to tell me if I'm bugging you too much. I'm not trying to pressure you or anything—I just want to be a good friend, like you said last night. I know the next few days will probably be the most painful for you, so it'd probably be good to have some help, right?"
"Uh, what was that about pain?" I had been about to cut off his flustered rambling out of pity, but now I needed him to keep going.
He started drumming the table nervously with his fingers. "Well, I sorta asked my dad about cracked ribs so I could get an idea of how best to help you. He said the pain is usually most intense and peaks two to four days after the initial injury. It'll start to subside after that, but you'll still have to take it easy for several weeks."
I grimaced at the news. I'd been informed about healing time, but the clinic doctor had never mentioned a period of intense pain. I didn't want to consider the possibility that my agony hadn't reached his height.
Edward tried to smile reassuringly, but the apologetic look on his face did little to make me feel better. "I know you wanted to save the codeine for bedtime, but if things get too bad, maybe you should think about taking one, no matter what time it is. I'll handle the barn and whatever else you need." His eyes wandered to the comb sitting beside my plate. "For instance…I doubt you'll be able to do much with that." A tiny smile played on his lips.
Was he suggesting that I let him do my hair? That was all kinds of weird for me. The thought of him taking care of me like that was awkward and embarrassing.
"I've got it," I mumbled.
He raised an eyebrow.
"Or Alice can help me?"
"Morning to her means any time before she has 'lunch.' She's been known to have breakfast at 1 p.m., so you do the math."
"That's okay. I'm not going anywhere today," I stated feebly.
My resistance had been questionable from the start, and now it was almost gone. Edward must have realized this because his demeanor changed.
"Come on, Bella." His voice was soft and soothing, as if he were talking to a frightened animal. "Let me help you out. I'm very handy with a comb. Think of how often I do Emmett's mane and tail. Besides, I owe you."
The rhythm of his words had such a calming lull that it almost made me drowsy.
"Um, okay, I guess."
He stood up and walked over me, taking a position directly behind my chair. When he leaned over to pick up the comb, I caught a trace of his usual scent mixed with the smell of hay and horse. The combination was very enticing.
With slow, gentle movements, Edward threaded his fingers through my hair and separated out a section. Firmly holding it in his hand, he began to work out the tangles, starting at the ends.
Although I knew some of the knots must have been wound tightly, all I sensed was light pressure on my scalp. It felt really good, and soon my eyes closed and my chin tipped down as I enjoyed his ministrations. I thought about how Emmett got the same treatment on a regular basis.
Lucky horse.
Edward's skill enabled him to finish quickly, and soon he was running his hands through my locks, searching for any missed snags. I accidentally let out a quiet moan when his fingers brushed over my scalp, but instead of snickering or teasing, he put a little more force behind the movements. My head fell farther forward as he circled and rubbed, giving me the most heavenly massage.
It felt oh-so-good, and muscles throughout my whole body relaxed. Even my mind slowed down. A few thoughts remained lounging around in my brain, and every single one was of the naughty kind. I recalled Edward's rolling hips from his time in the saddle at the horse show, and now I was experiencing how talented his fingers were. The memory of our kiss was foggy, but it must have been decent if I passed out because of it. I had the sudden desire to try it again and remain conscious the whole time.
Hands, hips, lips. Good lord, how could I stick with my original plan of working on friendship first? The reasons seemed ridiculous when his touch was making me feel so amazing and he smelled so freaking good and, dammit, he was trying hard to make amends and…
"Edward," I murmured, somewhat drunkenly.
"Hmm?" It was that same low, baby-soothing, suicide-preventing, hypnotizing voice that I'd swooned over from day one.
Screw it.
"Edward, I want to know if…would you—"
The words died in my throat as a fiery pain ripped through me. I managed to swallow the cry of agony, but I couldn't stop a whimper from escaping. My hands flew to my side and pressed into my ribs.
"Bella!"
Well, huh. Through my haze of pain, Edward's voice sounded much higher-pitched than normal.
"What the hell did you do to her, dumbass?"
Oh. That was why. It was Alice talking.
"What happened, Bella? Did I hurt you?" Worried, Edward dropped to his knees and lifted a hand to my face.
"No, no, it was me. I forgot and moved the wrong way," I gasped. No need to confess that I was turning in my seat with the intention of asking him to kiss me.
"Are you sure?" Alice asked, giving her cousin a sidelong glare.
I nodded, relieved that the pain was quickly receding to its normal tolerable ache. The less it required my attention, the more I noticed the warmth of Edward's roughened but gentle fingers still cupped around my jaw. When he moved his thumb over my cheekbone, I let out a shuddering breath as the tension left my body.
"Damn," Alice sighed after a few moments, "I really hate to rain on your potential parade, Edward, but Aunt Esme wants to see you."
"What for?" he asked absently, not looking away from me.
"She didn't say, but I think I heard her mutter something about a mountain of laundry, not being your servant, and dirty underwear."
"Shit," he swore softly, letting his fingertips glide over my skin and then standing up. "That's rather embarrassing. Thanks for that, Alice."
"You asked," she shrugged.
"I'd better get going before she sends Dad over to give me a singing telegram or something. He'd jump at the chance to show off his imaginary skills."
"Probably. " Alice laughed. "Uncle Carlisle is a little whacked in the head. I mean that in the nicest way possible, of course."
"See, Bella? I try to be normal, but my genes are working against me." Edward flashed me a dazzling smile. Some of his cockiness was returning, it appeared.
I just rolled my eyes. It was the best I could do, considering I was still dizzy from the lingering effects of his touches.
"I can check on Rosalie before I leave. I'll be back to put the horses in for the night, though I'm not sure what time yet. Text me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks again, Edward. For everything."
I gave the tiniest sigh when he left, and Alice was all over it. She took a seat at the table and propped up her chin with her hand.
"Sooo, you two seemed cozy, except for that small part where you looked like you were burning at the stake. Are things getting better with Edward?"
"Well," I said thoughtfully, "What did you consider our starting point to be?"
She smiled appreciatively. "Clever way to ferret out information without actually asking for it."
"I didn't mean it like that," I protested, even though I had, just a bit.
"No worries, Bella. I don't blame you. Edward and I talked last night after he came back from here. He gave me a little more of the story—his side of it, anyway—and I got the feeling he left you in the dark about a lot of things."
"That sounds about right," I grumbled.
Alice let out a silvery laugh. "You deserve to hear it from him, and some of it's not my business to tell. But, I will say that many of his issues with the more popular kids, especially Alexa, Tyler, and Mike, are because of what happened with me. Tanya's a little more complicated, though I don't know the whole story there. I don't think anything scandalous went on, but he's generally a private person, especially when it comes to his emotions.
"Anyway, Edward said that he had it pretty bad for you since the beginning of school, but then you started hanging out with Tanya and company. That made him a little cautious. Around that time, I finally told Jasper that things were bad between me and my parents—more on that later, if you want—and plans were set into motion for me to come back to Smithsburg. Jasper went into uber-protective mode, which is when he's most obnoxious, and he freaked out about me getting picked on again. He can be a bit paranoid when it comes to me, the silly boy, and he decided that associating with you was too big of a risk for Edward to take."
"What?" I yelped angrily, ignoring the resultant twinge of pain. "How could Jasper…why would Edward…are you freakin' kidding me? What a little bitch!"
"Jasper or Edward? Or both?" Alice chuckled.
"Sorry," I mumbled, though my apology was only for ragging on the cousin and the boyfriend in front of her.
"No, you're completely right. They were asshats."
"Jasper gave me dirty looks while Edward ignored me, and they didn't have a single valid reason. It sounds just as stupid now as it did when Edward said something like that on Monday."
"They thought they had 'proof,' though you'd expect they would know better than to listen to school gossip. Apparently, you made quite an impression with your new look. You were the hot topic of the week as the latest 'It' girl. Because of that, Jasper and Edward figured that if you weren't already shallow and mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later."
I groaned from exasperation. "Part of me wishes I'd never agreed to Tanya's makeover."
"Only part of you?" Alice's voice wasn't accusing—merely curious.
"I do love the haircut, and most of the clothes are pretty nice. But I didn't want to call attention to myself." I hesitated, knowing that wasn't entirely right. "Well, maybe it was okay if some people noticed." My face grew warm as I admitted the truth.
"Or maybe just one person?" Alice grinned. "Which reminds me, I never did finish answering your question. From what Edward told me last night, I gathered that he apologized for his general douche-ness, and you two were going to try being friends. He understands that he'll have to earn your trust and is determined to do just that."
She tilted her head at me. "I have to warn you that he can be a bit, um, single-minded when he's got a goal in his sights. You'll have to be perfectly straight with him if it starts to be too much. From my experience with the few males in my life—though three of them happen to be Cullens—subtlety doesn't work very well."
"Three?"
"Edward's granddad, my great-uncle Ed. He's a retired Marine Corps officer. I'm pretty sure Uncle Carlisle developed a sense of humor when he was a kid as a survival mechanism. Colonel Ed—that's what he likes to me to call him—isn't mean or anything, but to say he's a hard-ass is an understatement."
"Does he live in the area?"
"He used to be about 30 minutes away in Frederick. After his wife died, he eventually moved to North Carolina. He bought a huge piece of forested land and spends most of his days in the saddle." Alice glanced at Mom's barn through the window. "He was the one who taught Edward and me how to ride."
I was going to ask her more about Edward's grandfather, but my phone rang. Alice dashed to my bedroom to fetch it, and I grimaced when I saw Mom's name on the screen. She'd texted me yesterday about her safe arrival in Ohio, and I had yet to respond…or tell her about the accident.
I held off mentioning it for as long as possible. Instead, I listened to her describe the scene at Congress. Tanya's class was scheduled for early evening, she said, and Bev was running around like a madwoman trying to help her daughter prepare.
When she asked if Rosalie was behaving for me, I finally had to cough up the story. Her reaction was just what I expected: she gasped and said she would come home right away. It took me several minutes to convince her that I was managing fine with Edward and Alice's help, and even then, I could hear doubt and worry in her voice.
"I've only talked to your mom a few times," Alice commented after my call ended. "I've seen her ride at a lot of shows, though."
At my questioning look, Alice held up a finger.
"Before I launch into yet another one of my exciting stories, how are you doing? Can I get you anything? Obviously, you don't need help with your hair." She grinned like the Cheshire cat.
"Uh, no. I'm good," I murmured, suddenly embarrassed and shy.
"Hey, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," she apologized quickly. "Edward and I have teased each other for so long that I've lost my filter when it comes to him. I'll try to be more sensitive."
"It's fine," I said. "My feelings about him are jumbled up right now, and this whole…liking a guy thing, it's new to me."
"I know what you mean. Jasper was the first guy I ever crushed on. My parents were all too happy to let me stay with Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle during the summers after we moved to Virginia. After the Tanya/Jake debacle, Edward was really down, and he and I grew even closer.
"When Jasper started as a freshman at Smithsburg and the two became best friends, I thought I'd be the odd girl out and resented him before we ever met. I wasn't any better than them when it came to making bullshit judgments, but I learned my lesson good when Jazz and I hit it off immediately. I hope that when he realizes how wrong he was about you, he'll change for the better, too."
I hoped so, but I had a hard time picturing Jasper and me as BFFs. On the other hand, stranger things had happened. I certainly never imagined I'd grab Edward Cullen's junk by accident. Or suck face with him and then later turn him down.
Alice told me more about her relationship with Jasper, and then we moved to the comfortable seats in the living room. Our conversation was easy and plentiful as she explained how MS had affected her over the years and I gave her the details of why I'd been sent to stay with my mom for my last year of school.
Although I had been upset with Mom and Dad about their decision, I knew they always had my best interests in mind. The same couldn't be said for Alice's parents.
"My MS had been quiet for about 18 months, and I was feeling great," she recalled. "They warmed up to me and loosened some of my restrictions—I guess because was acting 'normal.' I even got to take the dance class I'd been begging for.
"Then about three months ago, my dad had an interview for a TV segment about a large donation he made to improve the athletic fields at our city park. The reporter wanted to meet over dinner to discuss the interview questions, and for some reason, Mom invited me along.
"My vision started getting hazy early into the meal, and soon I felt really dizzy. Yeah, I should have told my parents right away, but I was so happy about being included for once. I convinced myself it was only a mild attack and would be over quickly.
"The reporter gave me a strange look when I kept dropping my fork, and that's when Mom caught on to the situation. She asked to be excused to the bathroom, and I knew that was my cue to go with her. But when I tried to stand up, I lost my balance and knocked the reporter's glass of red wine onto her very white dress. Everything went downhill from there.
"I got so much crap from my parents for 'ruining' the dinner. My dad even accused me of doing it on purpose. I found out later that they lied to the woman and told her I'd suffered from a severe case of dehydration. It's not hard to guess that they hoped she wouldn't find out about my condition."
Alice gritted her teeth, the first display of true anger I'd seen from her. "They didn't want to deal with me, so Dad hired a full-time nurse to stay at the house during the MS episode. Thankfully, it resolved without permanent disability just after a week, but my parents became more restrictive than ever. They wouldn't even let me come here for the summer, which didn't even make sense to me. I felt like a prisoner in my own home.
"Last weekend, we had a major blowout. I can't remember what started it, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I called Aunt Esme and begged her to talk to my mom. She did even better—an hour later, Mom told me to start packing for an extended stay in Smithsburg. I'm not sure how long they mean by that, but Aunt Esme seems to think it's up to me to decide." Alice smiled widely. "I hope I can stay here until I graduate."
"I don't blame you," I murmured, shaking my head. I couldn't figure out which of my emotions was more intense—the deep anguish for Alice or the utter hatred for her parents.
We talked and talked, the hours slipping by without notice until my rib pain demanded attention. Alice made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches—I had mine with a side of codeine. It was only 2 p.m. and I'd wanted to wait until evening to take the narcotic, but Edward had pointed out, there was no sense in suffering needlessly. Alice helped lower me on the bed—my bruised muscles were happy to get any assistance they could.
She kept me company as I waited for the drug to take effect. My new friend's relaxed chatter felt surprisingly comfortable to me—perhaps it was because of how open and unassuming she was. In fact, Alice had many incredible qualities. She was animated but not annoyingly so, confident without being cocky, strong yet feminine.
"You know, I think you might be my first girl crush," I said drowsily, right on the precipice of sleep.
"Keepin' it in the family," she noted. "Nice."
"I wish your cousin would stop being a yo-yo long enough for us to get somewhere. I want to get to know him, and then I want to know him…all of him…you know?" Under normal circumstances, I'd have been mortified after blurting out such things, but my murky brain assured me I wouldn't remember any of it later. "I wonder if he's as good in real life as he is in Edwardland."
"Are you sure it was only codeine you took?" Alice joked. "Or do you always overshare before you pass out?"
"Kissing Edward makes me pass out," I giggled, somehow managing to slur the sound.
"It would make me do that, too, but hopefully for different reasons," Alice said, smiling sardonically. "I think I'm going to let you nod off now before skeletons start coming out of closets. Your phone is under your pillow—you know what to do if you need anything. One of us'll bring over dinner later, and if I'm not back tonight, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
"Mmkay," I yawned. "You're the best."
I was asleep before I could hear her response.
^-^ AHOADC ^-^
"Bella, sweetie, are you still there?"
"Wha? Whozit?" My mouth felt like it had been dusted with chalk. I blinked at the phone that was in my hand for some reason. "'Lo?"
"Why don't you call me back later? You don't sound like you're all there yet."
"No, S'okay." I glanced at the clock. 9 p.m. "How did Tanya do?"
Mom laughed. "Wow, you are really out of it. I told you she won Reserve about five minutes ago. Class of thirty riders, and she was amazing. I honestly couldn't see anything that made the first-place winner better."
"That's great!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster for only being half awake. "I'll text her, but could you also tell her congrats for me?"
"Of course. She went to get something to eat since she was too nervous for dinner, but I'll pass it along when she gets back."
After I hung up, I saw that Tanya had texted me earlier.
omg, renee told me u fell off and cracked ur ribs! im so sorry u r hurt! r u going 2 school on monday? i can drive u if u want. feel better! xoxo
My initial smile disappeared as I thought about Monday. How was that going to work? I wondered if Alice would be in any of my classes that were open to juniors. AP Biology and AP World History shouldn't be an issue if she was in one of them, but Alexa and Jessica took Creative Writing with me. I couldn't remember Jessica being mentioned as one of Alice's past tormentors. Alexa apparently had been, though.
Would I be able to stay friends with both groups? Did I even consider them all friends? I felt like Alice and I had bonded already, Edward was a work in progress, and I had my doubts about Jasper.
In my own judgmental way, I never thought I could be friends with a person like Tanya, but she was growing on me. Her bubbly, slightly pushy outlook was almost opposite mine, but doing things outside my comfort zone had been a good thing, so far. I had a more difficult time defining my thoughts about Jessica, but Alexa was simple. I questioned her motives in everything and would probably never trust her.
And then there was Jake. When he wasn't trying to ask me out, I really enjoyed talking and joking around with him. If there weren't complications, I could see us becoming close friends.
It was difficult enough navigating through the rocky waters of Edward, Tanya, and Jake's history, and now Alice's past treatment was being added to the mix. Would she have to deal with that crap again, or had the old culprits matured? Alice knew I'd been spending time with Tanya, Jessica, and Alexa, but she hadn't given me a clue how she felt about them now. If she viewed them as Edward and Jasper did, would I have to make a choice?
I needed to have a conversation about all this with Alice. It'd be good to talk to Edward and Tanya, as well. What a mess. If I hadn't already been on pain medication, I'd have had a huge headache.
There were three other messages on my phone. One was from Mom telling me she'd call later. Alice had sent a text asking if chicken parmesan was okay with me for dinner. The final one was from Edward, sent thirty minutes ago.
Hey, Sleeping Beauty. Horses are in the barn, and your dinner is in the fridge. Rosalie is still listless and didn't seem interested in her food. Temp, respiration, and pulse are normal. I couldn't find a stethoscope to check for gut sounds, so I'll bring mine when I come back in a few hours. If she hasn't had any water and/or doesn't have manure in her stall by then, we might need to call your vet. You should probably let your mom know, too.
As unhappy as I was with my horse, I certainly didn't want her to be sick. I forwarded Edward's text to Mom and steeled myself to get up. Opting for the speedy method this time, I rolled off the bed in one excruciating movement. As quickly as was possible for me, I went to the bathroom and then scarfed down some chicken parm that tasted amazing even after being reheated. Mrs. Cullen was a damned good cook.
It sucked putting a jacket on, but the fall night air was chilly. I headed outside toward the barn and was surprised to see the inside light still on. A glance over my shoulder showed the dark outline of Edward's Volvo in the driveway.
He was in Rosalie's stall and had a stethoscope pressed to her belly. He removed the earpieces and looked at me with a frown when I opened the barn door.
"What are you doing out here? You should be resting."
"I'm fine. How's Rose?" I entered the stall and put a hand on her shoulder. Her head hung low, and she didn't react to my presence—though that wasn't anything unusual.
"I didn't want to wait, so I ran home to get this." He held up the instrument in his hand. "She did eat and drink a little while I was gone, so that's good. It sounds like there's movement in her gut on both sides, which is also good, but that doesn't completely rule out digestive problems. Still, without a temp or any other outward signs of distress, I think it's okay to put off calling the vet tonight. Have you talked to your mom?"
"I sent her your message about ten minutes ago. She's not the greatest at keeping her phone on hand, though."
I shifted my gaze from Rosalie to Edward. He was dressed in ragged jeans and a plain white tee shirt with the stethoscope around his neck. His hair flopped over his forehead in its usual disarray, but despite the youthful appearance, he had a calm, knowledgeable aura that gave me confidence in his assessment.
He ran a hand down the horse's neck and patted her on the shoulder. "I guess the decision's up to you, then. I'm still planning on checking back in a few hours—probably around two o'clock—and of course I'll let you know if anything's changed for the worse."
I shook my head in protest. "You don't have to get up in the middle of the night and come over just to look in on her. I can handle it." He had already done so much for me, and I hated the idea of him losing out on sleep to take care of my responsibilities.
"No offense, Bella, but do you know what you're looking for? You don't have much experience with horses, and you're putting Rose's health at stake because of pride."
I did take offense. He may have had a point, but the way he said it annoyed me. As was becoming habit whenever I was around him, my mouth moved before my brain kicked in.
"I'm not stupid like you seem to think, Edward," I snapped. "If you tell me what I need to do, I'm sure I can figure it out. You're going to make a shitty vet with a condescending attitude like that."
His expression fell, and he flinched as if I'd struck him. I guess I had, in a way.
My own face twisted in shame. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I really, really appreciate all the help you've given me. I didn't want you to go to extra trouble after everything else."
I expected him to snark back at me like usual, but he didn't say anything in reply—just stared at Rose's hooves with hurt and frustration in his eyes.
Shit.
Tentative, I stepped forward and took his hand. His fingers were limp in my grasp. "I am so sorry, Edward. My emotions get out of control and I do the stupidest things when I'm around you. I know it's not an excuse for me being…well…for being a bitch just now, and I wish I could take it back."
After a few tense moments of silence, he sighed and squeezed my hand. "It's okay—you were right. I'm glad you called me on it."
"No. I wasn't even close," I insisted. "I don't know where that came from because I certainly don't believe it. You'll be great at whatever you do, especially being a vet."
"Hmm" was all he said.
I couldn't stand knowing I'd caused him to be down on himself. He looked so disheartened. In fact, he and Rosalie were wearing very similar expressions.
"Hey, come on. You didn't take me seriously, did you? What the hell do I know?" I grabbed his other hand, masking the wince that my impulsive movement caused.
He raised his eyes to look at our joined hands. "Well, you did insist you weren't stupid." His voice was soft with the slightest hint of humor.
I saw the opening and took it. "Forgive me?" I leaned in and tilted my head up in an effort to catch his gaze. "Please? Maybe we could call it even between us?"
Finally, he met my eyes, and I didn't like what I saw in his. "Do you think we're going to keep messing up…hurting each other? Is this—are we—a bad idea?"
A stab of pain in my chest made me gasp, and it had nothing to do with my ribs. "We won't know unless we try." My tone was almost pleading, but I felt shameless in that moment. Our relationship—as friends or otherwise—was going to be over before it had begun.
He was quiet again. I had a desperate urge to chew on my thumb, but it was rather content resting over Edward's. I settled for my lower lip as I waited anxiously.
"Edward?" I didn't consider myself to be short on patience, in general, but he was killing me.
His stare had become intense, and I hoped whatever he was thinking so hard about counted in our favor. Edward took a deep breath while I held my own.
"I know you what you said, but I don't think that I…well, it's just that with you…or maybe it would be better if we…damn." Blowing a gust of air through his lips, he shook his head.
Oh, no. The shaking of the head was really Not Good. I just knew he was going to make some grandiose, melodramatic proclamation that our personalities didn't mesh well or that the return wasn't worth the investment or that intelligent, gorgeous bronze-haired wonder boys didn't need to waste their time with silly high school girls but would instead wait to find their kindred spirits at their Ivy League colleges.
Or something like that.
I needed him to put me out of my misery as quickly as possible so that I could retreat to the private comfort of my room.
"Edward, look—"
"Hold on a sec," he interrupted in a low, surprisingly husky voice. "Bella, before you say anything, can I see about something first? Do you mind if I…?"
He didn't finish the sentence but instead slid his hands out of mine. I blinked up at him in worried confusion. He just stared at me with those deep, deep green eyes.
I didn't expect to feel his hands curl around my hips, yet when they did, I took an automatic step closer to him. He began to lower his head, slowly and deliberately, his expression open and asking.
My answer was to tilt my own head back and close my eyes. Every cell in my body quivered in anticipation. I steadied my breath, determined not to lose control like the first time.
I felt a breeze of warm air on my cheek but didn't question it. Maybe he was easing his way into things. The tickling of stubble was nice, but when I inhaled deeply, Edward's scent had a suspiciously strong grassy fragrance. He chuckled in amusement, but the sound came from the opposite direction of the lips on my skin.
I opened my eyes to see a golden head with a pinkish-white horse muzzle exploring my face. If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn there was a haughty look in her purple-brown eyes. She took a step toward Edward and shoved her nose in his chest. When he scratched her forehead between her eyes, she gave a low content snort as if to say, "Payback's a bitch, isn't it?"
"See if I ever let you near Emmett again," I grumbled, wiping horse goobers off my cheek.
"I wonder…" Edward murmured. He gave Rosalie a final pat, placed his hand on the small of my back, and guided me out of the stall.
"Do you mind if I bring Emmett over tomorrow, just to see what happens? Her depressed attitude might be more psychological than physical. Humans aren't the only creatures who form attachments, you know."
"Sure, go ahead," I muttered. Because that's exactly what I wanted to do: reward the evil, conniving, spoiled, slutty…
"Bella?"
"What?" I said, distracted by my inner griping.
Cupping his hand around my jaw, he used the V between his thumb and index finger to tip my chin up. Once again, our mouths were inches apart, our gazes locked, the desire heavy between us.
Rosalie who?
"I really want to kiss you right now."
"I really want you to." For once, my raspy voice sounded sexy and not sickly.
I wasn't about to let any surprises sneak up on me this time. My eyes stayed open as his lips descended on mine. They moved slowly and gently, ghosting and gliding, teasing and lingering.
Not having any experience—I didn't count the fuzzy memory of my first—I mirrored his actions. But when the soft caresses never escalated, my frustration took over. I pushed my body against his and parted my lips, hoping he'd get the hint.
Quite the contrary, he took a step back and broke our connection. In a single instant, my heart fell to my feet.
Rejected. Ouch.
"We should take it slowly this time, right?"
I didn't know how to answer his sensible question when all I could think about were his warm mouth and alluring taste. At least I could take solace in the fact that he, too, was breathing heavier than usual.
"Bella, even though I doubt it'll be easy, I do want to try to make things work. I think that means, at first, more talking and less…well, you know." His expression was fairly neutral, but thanks to his parents' insight, I was able to detect an undertone of embarrassment in his words.
Damn him to be so rational when my desire was only getting worse the more he justified slowing down. I stared at the light growth of stubble on his jaw and his kiss-reddened lips and that messy head of hair. I wanted to bury my fingers in it.
So I did.
Moving slowly in consideration of my injury, I lifted a hand to the nape of his neck and ran my fingers over the short hairs there. I wasn't able to reach up to the longer, wilder mane on top of his head, but I viewed it as undiscovered country I could explore later. My senses were overwhelmed as it was.
"Bella…" He ground his teeth together, and I could feel the muscles of his neck tense under my palm.
"Yes, Edward?" I sighed, dragging my fingertips over the wispy strands.
"I'm trying to do what you said you wanted. You're not making this easy for me."
I reveled in the strain in his voice. "I know," I replied, once again pressing the length of my body to his. For good measure, I swiveled my hips just a bit.
Oh my, what did we have there?
When he shifted and made a short, strangled sound, I knew I'd found my mark.
"But I thought—"
"Edward, would you just shut up and kiss me?" I demanded, tugging on the back of his neck.
After a split-second of surprise and indecision, he bent over me and captured my lips forcefully, but still carefully. When I opened my mouth to him this time, he entered without hesitation.
The barrage of sensations was too much for me to enjoy at once. I wanted to focus on his technique so that I could learn and give back some of the pleasure he was raining down on me. I also wanted to record every second and then wear out that spot in my brain by reliving the memory, over and over. Still another part of me felt like shutting down all my thoughts and existing blissfully in each incredible moment.
His hands moved around my back and made their way under my jacket and shirt. They were cold against bare skin, but the feeling only drew my attention to his touch there. My own hands roamed to his chest, where fingers dug into the material of his clothes.
After a particularly deep thrust of his tongue, my hips rubbed instinctively over the hard ridge in his jeans. He moaned into my mouth, and a startling amount of dampness formed between my legs. I wasn't new to the feeling, but I'd never been so wet before. And god, I was positively aching with need.
Before Edward, I hadn't formed any specific opinions on why and when I'd have sex, nor did I care much about the status of my virginity. In that moment, however, all I wanted was to throw the boy down on a pile of hay, tear at his clothes, and do whatever it took to bring some relief.
Intent on their new purpose, my hands slid down the front of Edward's shirt, even as my tongue pushed forward past his lips. When I reached the fly of his jeans, surprisingly steady fingers began to work the button.
"Bella," he groaned in surprise, his hands coming together to gently halt my progress. "What are you doing, sweetheart?"
Oh, a term of endearment. That certainly wasn't going to cool my fire. I looked up at him with openly brazen eyes.
"I want you, so much."
His eyes widened and then he squeezed them shut. When they opened again, heavy uncertainty dominated his features. "God, I want you, too…you have no idea how much…and for how long…but I don't think—"
"No thinking." My fingers resumed their work and quickly pushed the button through its hole. "Just doing. Me. Now." I would have giggled at my cheesy lines if I hadn't been so freakin' horny. Instead, I licked my lips in eagerness as the zipper went down.
I was pretty sure he actually squeaked when I dipped my hands inside the denim.
Like I said, with Edward, I had no shame.
^-^ AHOADC ^-^
Way too long between updates—I am so sorry! I think my muses were flooded along with most of the land on my property. For some reason, this chapter kicked my rear.
STILL no internet! Cox Communications, you suck.