A/N: Thank you Tari4078 and all of those who have been reviewing! They really make my day, so don't be afraid to leave a few words!

So after that last episode, here is the beginning of the healing process.

Chapter Fourteen

The next morning was when the anxiety hit again.

Castiel hadn't had an anxiety attack since he was twenty-six, and now, here he was, thirty-five and stumbling out of bed, gasping for air. Dean was up immediately, rubbing his back and mumbling, still half asleep.

That morning, Castiel cried on and off. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to hit Michael, but he also never wanted to see him ever again, so that hopefully wouldn't happen.

He yelled at Dean. For the first time since the two had met. It was over something so stupid. Dean was trying to make him eat, and he didn't want to, so he yelled. And then he cried, and Dean, being the blessing that he was, held him through it. He told Castiel that he didn't have to eat if he didn't want to, because no one was ever going to make him do something he didn't want to ever again. And he told him that there was also the alternative of ice cream, if he didn't want the ravioli.

That night, Castiel decided he might want to get a restraining order, just in case Michael tried to pull any more shit. Even after Gabriel's threats.

Wednesday, Castiel was just tired.

The television was on, but it was muted and Castiel paid it no attention. What he really wanted to do was take a vacation with Dean, somewhere remote and far away. He wondered if he could swing enough off time for them both.

There was a loud knock on the door. Three sharp raps, and Castiel made to go answer it.

"Sit, I got it," Dean walked by, pecking Castiel's hair as he went. He settled back down with a smile and stared at the muted tv again.

Dean peered through the little peep hole. "Who is it?" Castiel asked with mild curiosity.

Dean didn't look at him. "Go into the bedroom, Cas," Dean's voice was hard. That sent alarm bells ringing in his mind.

"Dean, who is it?" Castiel asked again, voice rising in pitch.

The Winchester turned, expression somber, and… angry? "It's Michael."

Castiel's eyes widened. This was exactly what he didn't want happening. This was exactly the crazy-as-shit move that Michael would pull. They weren't safe in Castiel's home anymore.

"Gabe shoved him into a taxi and told the driver to take him to the airport, but he obviously didn't get on a plane." Castiel clutched the cushion of his couch, and Dean put his hand on the doorknob. "Go into the bedroom. I'm going to make sure he gets on that plane."

Castiel stood. He was scared, so scared, but a wave of rage welled up. How dare Michael come to Castiel's home? How dare he continue to threaten him? "I'm staying here," Castiel said, voice low, "but you do what you need to."

There was another sharp knock on the door, and Dean opened it.

Michael was there and immediately saw Castiel, but Dean blocked his way. "What the fuck do you want?" Dean spat.

"I'm here to see Castiel," Michael said, confidence still unwavering even with his sprained wrist, courtesy of Gabriel.

"That's a cryin' shame, cause you're never gonna see him again."

Michael gave him a patronizing smile. "You can't protect him forever. Once you see him for the filthy slut he is, then I can take him right back where he belongs."

Castiel took a step forward, maybe to yell something at Michael, but something in Dean snapped. He reared back and punched Michael in the face harder than Castiel thought possible. Michael stumbled back, holding his bloody nose. "What the hell?"

"Don't you ever say another word about him!" Dean yelled. "If you ever come near the man I love again, come within ten miles of him, I swear to god no one will find your body," he growled.

"Come no-"

Dean punched him again, and Castiel heard something crack. Michael fell backward off the step and to the ground, jaw bloody and possibly broken. "Get the fuck out," Dean said, then slammed the door and locked it.

Castiel watched the scene with surprise and immense satisfaction. And Dean's words…

"You love me?"

Dean was breathing heavily. "Damn right I do."

Something hot bloomed in Castiel's chest. Dean loved him. And that little display of strength there… He strode forward and pushed Dean against the wall, attacking his mouth with fervor. "I love you too," he said against his skin. Dean was shocked for a moment, but quickly got with the program.

Castiel pushed Dean's shirt up and scraped his blunt nails down his back, earning a shiver from the younger man. "Kinda hot," Castiel bit down on Dean's earlobe. "Didn't know how strong you were."

Dean groaned and clutched at Castiel's hair, the Novak sucking a red mark behind his ear. Castiel slotted their hips together and Dean bucked up into them. "Bed?" he gasped.

"Too far," Castiel growled. His hands found Dean's perfect ass and he lifted him, praising himself for his own strength. Dean wrapped his legs around Castiel's waist and allowed himself to be carried to the couch.

They toppled over onto the soft cushions, not once breaking apart. Castiel bit at Dean's reddened lips and Dean pulled at Castiel's shirt like he had a personal vendetta against it. "Off," he grunted.

Castiel ripped the shirt off and manhandled Dean's off of him.

Maybe it was seeing Dean defend him or maybe it was hearing him admit his love, probably both, but Castiel felt such a huge surge of need in his chest that it hurt. He mouthed at Dean's collarbone, beads of sweat already showing on his skin. They tasted wonderful.

"Cas," Dean murmured.

"Mmm?" he hummed, tracing his tongue down to one of Dean's nipples.

"I- fuck- I love you," he repeated, arching up into the warm wetness.

"God, I love you Dean," Castiel groaned into his skin, moving to give the other nipple attention. "So much."

Castiel nibbled down Dean's stomach to worship his cut abdominals, tracing the faint lines they made in his skin. His hand came down to brush teasingly over the bulge in Dean's pants, and he arched up with a cry.

Castiel pulled Dean's sweatpants and boxers off in one easy swoop, exposing his glorious length. Without giving Dean a chance to adjust, he swallowed him down as far as he could go.

Dean moaned wantonly, the sound echoing off Castiel's vaulted ceilings. He threaded his fingers through Castiel's hair, tugging just hard enough to send sparks down his spine.

"Pants- ahh- off, Cas," Dean commanded.

With some fumbling, Castiel managed to throw off both his pants and briefs. He crawled back up Dean's form and rutted against him, both men groaning. A small part of Castiel dug deep into his fantasy vault, back to before Dean was his personal assistant. He remembered when the Winchester's body was a mystery that he could only guess at.

Here he was, over a month later, and Dean's body was now like home to him, every inch of skin familiar and welcoming. The two had already enacted a few of Castiel's old fantasies without Dean actually knowing, and another sprung to mind.

"Off the couch," Castiel growled, scrambling up from the cushions himself. Dean blinked at the sudden loss of contact, but obeyed nonetheless.

"Where do you want me?" he purred, nipping along Castiel's jaw. The older man moaned into his hair; Dean would be the death of him.

"Over the back of the couch," Castiel breathed against Dean's skin.

Dean shuddered visibly. "Fuck yeah."

After a bit of not-as-sexy fumbling and some laughter, Dean put a cushion on the back of the couch and bent over it, ass in the air, a perfect height for Castiel.

"Some lube's in the kitchen from a few days ago," Dean mumbled into the seat of the couch.

"In a minute," Castiel murmured, squeezing Dean's firm ass. He parted his cheeks and nosed his way towards Dean's center, feeling the Winchester tremble under him.

He licked at Dean slowly, feeling the ring of muscle clench and unclench. He was being a tease, and Dean knew it. "C'mon, Cas," he mumbled, trying in vain to push himself closer.

With a grin, Castiel acquiesced and dragged the flat of his tongue over Dean's entrance.

"Ngh," Dean choked, squirming.

Castiel licked him thoroughly, until he could fit a finger in to the second knuckle without lube. "Cas, please," the Winchester gasped.

Castiel nearly ran into the kitchen. He was hard enough to cut diamonds, and it took a little while longer than he thought to find the lube, which was in the spice cabinet. When he came back, he saw Dean trying to work himself open and gasping into the cushions.

"Fuck, Dean," Castiel breathed. He opened the bottle with fumbling fingers and nearly upended it into his hand. One of his fingers immediately joined Dean's, the cool lube easing the way for both digits.

Castiel stared at their fingers, working in tandem to prep Dean. It was probably the sexiest thing Castiel had ever seen, and he couldn't help but give himself a few strokes. He added another finger and found the younger man's prostate.

Dean cried out loudly, strung out and overstimulated from the day's activities. "Cas, you need to fuck me right now," Dean grunted, pushing their fingers out of him.

Castiel didn't need to be told twice. With one solid stroke, he sheathed himself in Dean's tight heat.

No matter how many times they had sex, Castiel would never get used to the feeling of Dean's hot, velvety channel clenching around him. It always made him see spots. He bottomed out, and both men let out a huge breath.

Dean's voice was tight with tension. "If you don't move, I swear to god-"

Whatever his swear would have been was cut off as Castiel thrust sharply into him. He cried out, high pitched and needy. "More!"

"Bossy," Castiel growled, but obeyed Dean's demand. He blanketed the Winchester with his torso, mouthing along his shoulder blades. Their sex was mostly slow and sensual, pleasure building leisurely until they burst. This time, Castiel pounded relentlessly into Dean, slow and sensual out the window.

"FuckyesCas," Dean babbled into the cushion, toes nearly lifting from the floor. "Love you."

"Love you," Castiel mumbled into Dean's skin. "God I do."

Dean was already clenching around him, but Castiel pulled himself back from the edge. A fast start meant a fast finish, but he wasn't ready to let go yet. He gripped Dean's shoulders for purchase, pushing the younger man down onto his length as he thrust forward.

With a loud yell, Dean came suddenly and without warning, body bowing as if he were trying to escape the sheer force of his own pleasure.

"Almost there," Castiel grunted, Dean now boneless and seemingly content under him. He let out a breathy moan every time Castiel struck his prostate. In less than a minute, Castiel was tipping forward, shooting into Dean with the force of a tsunami as electricity rocketed up his spine.

He collapsed against Dean, the two of them draped weakly over the back of the couch.

"Do you dry-clean couch cushions?" Dean muttered, and Castiel barked out a laugh. He pulled out of Dean, and the two of them fell directly on the floor behind the couch.

"You're perfect," Dean mumbled, nuzzling Castiel's jaw. "Fuck anyone who tells us otherwise."

"You're perfect," Castiel sighed. "You deal with me and all my shit."

"It's a pleasure," Dean said, and when Castiel looked down, the Winchester was grinning up at him. "Sometimes literally."

Castiel chuckled, and they lapsed into a nap-like silence.

"Are you awake?" Castiel whispered.

"Hmm?" Dean hummed drowsily. "Yeah, 'course." Which sounded like a lie.

"If you're not, we can keep sleeping on the floor," Castiel smiled into his hair. "But if you are, I suggest a shower, stir fry, and a Rocky marathon."

Dean, in his blissed-out state, giggled. "Love it when you talk dirty."

o o o

Castiel decided to go back to work on Thursday, though he technically had the week off. Since Dean punched Michael, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. The look of pain and fear on his face… It told Castiel that Michael wouldn't be terrorizing him again any time soon.

Sadly, he forgot how much he sometimes hated work. Specifically, Zachariah.

Castiel hadn't been sitting at his desk for more than twenty minutes when his door banged open, an angry-looking Zachariah storming into the room.

Dean was following close behind. "I'm so sorry, he just ran past me-"

"Quite alright, Dean," Castiel pacified him. Dean moved towards the door, but stood curiously by. "Mr. Adler, what can I do for you?"

"What can you do for me?" the balding man fumed. "I was just taken off the Colt case! You're giving me busywork!"

Castiel's eyes narrowed. He felt anger at this man, and he wasn't holding it well. "Mr Adler, I was notified recently that you were absent for your last two meetings with our partners, and at the meeting you did show up to, you threatened them outright."

Zachariah sputtered. "When you're a lawyer, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions."

"No," Castiel stood and buttoned his suit jacket, eye twitching a bit. "You are here to help and protect this company from threats. The way I see it, you are now the threat. You are rude, arrogant, lazy, and quite frankly, destructive." Zachariah's eyes widened. "I should have done this a long time ago."

"No," Zachariah mumbled.

"Zachariah Adler, you are fired." Damn, that felt good. "Please collect your things. You will be paid in lieu of notice time. I will speak with Mr. Novak in HR about contacting you with your payment." Castiel sat back in his chair, trying to hard to hold the smile on his face back.

Dean opened the door, the sound alerting Zachariah. He held a hand towards the open frame and smiled. Without another word, Zachariah stormed out.

"Cas," Dean closed the door. "You're a badass."

The smile spread across Castiel's face. "Thank you. That felt good."

"Good riddance to the guy," Dean muttered. He plopped down onto one of Castiel's chairs. "Do you know anyone you want to hire in his place? Or are you just gonna promote someone?"

Castiel sat back, thinking about the members of that department. The majority of them were young or new to the field. "I'm not sure."

"Well," Dean looked at his nails. "I have a professional opinion that you can totally disregard if it's stupid."

That was what Castiel loved about working with Dean. He still treated Castiel like he was his boss, but wasn't afraid to voice his opinions. "I doubt it's stupid," Castiel leaned forward. "Tell me."

"I heard from Charlie that Balthazar's done with that big case in Chicago, and I did some research on him. His resume is awesome, and he hasn't lost a single case in twelve years."

Castiel's eyes lit up. "Balthazar. That's brilliant."

"And since he moved back from London and is hotel hopping in Illinois, he's in a great position to find somewhere to live wherever he wants, which could be Sioux Falls." Dean scratched the back of his head. "I also looked up some house listings after Charlie described his last few apartments, and I found one that he might like in his price range that's like ten minutes from here."

Castiel's mouth was open in shock. "When did you do all this?"

"It was on Wednesday, when you fell asleep during Rocky II." Dean grinned. "I didn't think you were going to fire Zachariah so soon, but I hoped it was coming. I hate the guy. So I did research, y'know, for fun."

Castiel laughed in astonishment. "How do you keep getting more perfect?"

Dean grinned. "I take it you like the idea?"

"Of course!" he almost bounced up and down in his seat. "Call Gabriel up, he's in charge of that stuff."

Dean opened the door to find Gabriel already there, with… a cake? "That was quick," Dean murmured.

"I heard that a certain CEO finally fired a certain bag of dicks!" he sang, holding out a store-bought cake. "Happy Cassie-is-a-badass day!"

"That's what I said!" Dean smiled and appraised the cake.

"Word travels fast," Castiel got up and joined the circle. "You just wanted an excuse to eat that cake, didn't you?"

Gabriel stuck his fork directly into the dessert. "That's beside the point."

Castiel cut himself a piece away from Gabriel's and sat down. "Dean was about to call you up," he said, swallowing a bite of the admittedly delicious cake. "He had an idea about replacing Zachariah, and I think it's amazing."

Dean relayed all the information he told Castiel to Gabriel, and the older Novak smiled. "I'm so on it. It could be his early Christmas present!" He continued on about Christmas, and the topic changed from Christmas presents to Christmas strippers. Castiel zoned out, eating his cake with a smile.

He was slowly ridding his life of all the bad people in it with help from the people he loved most. The next step, which would come in only a few days, would be to meet the person that Dean loved most: Sam.