Chapter Fourteen: Run Away Little Girl, Run Away

And so here we were. Years later, here we were, the same people, in the same position. As Tommy pulled away, my eyes shot open. My face suddenly became hot, and I felt myself begin to feel sick. Those lips- I remembered the way they felt, the way the moved, the pain that I had learned to associate with them. I didn't want to feel that pain anymore. I didn't want to remember our childish mistakes. We were different now… but still the same. With this thought, I looked up into Tommy's eyes. "I need you to tell me something." I whispered fervently as his hand caressed my arm.

"Anything Jude." He replied with a slight smile.

"Why did you lie to me?" I blinked at his puzzled face.

"What do you mean?"

"When you lied to me about you and Sadie." I paused for a moment, letting the memories seep back to him. His brow furrowed, and he cleared his throat after a moment.

"I don't know. But I can tell you that I never should have done that. Forgive me Jude." Tommy's face was genuine, hopeful.

Forgive and forget, I was always taught. But how do you forgive, if you know you never can forget?

"That doesn't change it Tommy. Why?" My voice cracked, and he embraced me more firmly.

"I don't know Jude!" He half shouted. Pulling away, he threw his arms wide, gesturing at the room. "See where I come from Jude? See how my father treats me, how nothing that comes from his lips is ever true or pure?"

I let out a small gasp, and not noticing, he embraced me again. "All that matters is what is happening right here, right now Jude. All that matters is how we feel about each other." I watched, still in shock, as he took a deep breath. "That's why I think we should elope."

Still in a reverie, I shook my head in disbelief. "What?"

"Let's elope." His eyes met mine, searching for an answer.

"No, not that." I shook my head, leaving him astonished. "I mean, your father…" I put my hand to my forehead, suddenly feeling faint.

"Jude… I don't understand… is something wrong?"

My head snapped up, the fire suddenly igniting inside of me. "Yes, there is something wrong!" I snapped. "Do my feelings mean nothing to you? All these years, the heartache you've put me through, the lies you've fed me… I thought that maybe, you had changed, but I must have been wrong. Here you are, as usual, feeding me excuses. Blaming it on your dad? Bull. Face it Tommy. We will never be. We're completely different people."

Tommy's eyes bulged, and he grabbed my hand in protest. I wasn't about to give in though.

"Don't talk to me. I hate you, and as soon as we get back home, I'm moving out. That's final, don't even try to use those sugar coated words of yours to coax me out of it. We're through." I brushed his hand off my shoulder, and stormed out through the door.

Tommy and I didn't speak all throughout the next morning. He called and got me a flight on the next plane home, and I left as abruptly as we had come. As I stepped out into the gusty morning, I nervously tugged at my scarf. I could sense Tommy's presence behind me, but I didn't turn around. I couldn't give in. I wasn't about to settle. The cab driver took my suitcase from me, and sliding into the back seat, I sighed greatly. Once again, I was engulfed in silence. Pain ripped at my insides, and all I wanted to do was scream. I hated myself for turning him down. He had asked me to marry him, and I had completely ignored it. How could I be so stubborn?

Before I knew it, the taxi was speeding back down the never ending road. I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry. And then the rain came. It pounded upon the car, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. Turning around, I looked out the window, and searched for the doorway in the distance. I could just barely see his blurred silhouette, soaking wet, leaning against it.

"Run after me Tommy." I muttered, fingering the window pane. But he never did. Tommy watched me ride away, leaving him. And by the time he disappeared from sight, I realized it. I had asked for it, and for once in my life, Tommy Quincy had listened.

Don't hate me. :) Not yet.