"They look so much better." Ichigo commented as he finished putting the cream on Grimmjow's back where he couldn't reach. The scars were so much fainter, smoother. He wasn't sure the marks would ever go away completely, but they wouldn't be so painful, rough and ugly.

"Are you done?"

"Almost." He gave a gentle push and Grimmjow rolled onto his back again. It had been a few days, they were both feeling better for the amount of food in them and their increase in energy, and now evening closed in again, they'd gone for a jog earlier, to try to build up their stamina, and both were already starting to feel the drag of sleep. Burning off some pent up energy had been a very good thing, especially for Grimmjow. He actually looked calm, and that's why Ichigo tried now, to sooth the one most painful scar on his body.

"Shit!" Grimmjow had let his guard down and Ichigo managed to get the cooling cream on the top half of his scar before his hand was smacked away. "Fuck off." Grimmjow turned suddenly angry, starting to get up but Ichigo's other hand came up to his shoulder.

"No you fuck off Grimmjow, there's no reason not to treat this scar too."

He reached again for the spot. "DON'T!"

"WHY?" he stopped, he still would never force anything on Grimmjow, but he would be a little forceful if it could help. "Why not? Is it because you think I'll expect you to have sex with me once it's healed?"

"OF COURSE IT IS!" He roared and they both froze. The look on the espada's face showed that he had in no way intended to say that out loud. Maybe Halibel had even had a hand in forcing it out of him, but Ichigo wasn't considering that now. He knew Grimmjow needed time, but he'd thought it was to get past what had happened, not because he sincerely did not want to be with Ichigo. The teen rose.

"Then I'm sorry." He stepped back.

"Ichigo—"

"It's okay, Grimmjow, it's fine if that's what you want." But he was making for the door.

"Ichigo just wait..."

"I just need a second, I'll be back."

He slid the door open and moved outside.

"Fuck." Grimmjow stood up. "Did you make me say that?" He looked to Halibel in the corner but she just shrugged. "Fuck you and all."

"You realize you just told yourself to fuck yourself."

"SHUT UP!" The heat of anger broke over his skin. She visibly stiffened.

"You better calm down."

"THE HELL I DO! You're not even real and you fucking things up with my—"

"Your what, Grimmjow? Your eighteen year old human you sleep with but can't have sex with? What is he to you?"

"EVERYTHING! He's fucking everything I have left since you died and broke my effing mind when you went. So don't you fuck up the only thing I have."

"Fine." She moved closer to him. "But it wasn't me who said that, Grimmjow, it was all you. You wanted him to know you cringe at the thought of hands on you down there. You don't want to admit how close that rod came to frying what makes you a man."

"BTICH!"

"GRIMMJOW!" He hadn't noticed that the door was shaking in its frame, that the mattresses had been blasted against one wall, a vase shattered. His spiritual pressure had skyrocketed and was destroying the room around him. Renji hurried to put a stop to it. "Snap out of it." But hands clamping down with restraining force on his bare arms was probably the worst move the recently inducted captain could make. He was shoved away at once and stumbled back to find red light glowing in his face.

"Bastard." Renji ducked the cero and threw himself on the espada. The explosion ripped off to the right, and Grimmjow landed on his back, head smacking hard but not enough to put him out.

"What's wrong with you?" Renji screamed, pinning him from above.

"Get off of me." Grimmjow tried to shift his weight, escape the hold, but Renji significantly outweighed him.

"You've lost it."

"Get off of me!" His breath drew in rapidly, and Renji calmed slightly, no longer seeing anger in him but terror. He had Grimmjow's wrists pinned to the floor on either side of his head.

"Shit." he realized the problem but Grimmjow was out of control, his spirit energy was shaking the whole room, he didn't know how to control him.

"Grimmjow calm down."

He may have a physical advantage, but not a spiritual one, and he was straining to maintain his hold. And when those eyes of such pain flared with liquid blue light, he knew he was in trouble.

"I SAID GET OFF OF ME!" Renji had nothing against the power that struck him. He was sure he would have been thrown clean through the wall if another equally suppressive power hadn't slammed into them both. Renji had been thrown off but hit the floor just a few feet away. He couldn't move for the weight that filled the air and crushed him. He'd felt this enormity of power once before—he'd felt this with Aizen.

"Shit..." he wheezed when he saw even Grimmjow pinned flat. He couldn't move for the pressure, and could only lay there as feet thudded over the floor. Sneakers, jeans...

"Ichigo."

"Grimmjow, stop." The young man ordered, kneeling over the prostrate man who no longer had a choice in the matter.

"Ichigo..." Renji hissed out. The teen turned and seemed only now to realize what he was doing. The captain gasped when the weight on him lifted, but he'd been hit too hard and was quickly losing his battle to stay conscious.

"Oh no..." but Ichigo turned back to Grimmjow seeing him similarly effected. "I'm sorry, I just felt you losing it and I was trying to stop you from going out of control."

His words were lost on the espada who had just hit one too many emotional highs. His statement about sex had been followed by the most raw anger he'd felt in weeks, mixed with the desperation not to lose Ichigo, then the terror that brought on flashbacks. And now this—reduced to a sputtering mess just like Aizen had done to him so many times.

"I'm sorry." Ichigo repeated but Grimmjow flinched from his touch and rolled to one side, back to Ichigo. He was caught between fainting and hurling so he just lay there panting. "Grimmjow?"

"Fuck you."

Ichigo's shoulders slumped.

"Grimmjow." The espada peeled his eyes from the floorboard up to Halibel's face. "Don't be an ass. Besides, I'm worried. Ichigo's powers should not be this strong."

But he couldn't deal with that right now, he didn't want to deal with anything, so he just lay there and let the threatening dark take him.

"C-captian Unohana?" Renji sat slowly, his head throbbing, she put a steadying hand on his shoulder.

"Careful." He looked around, they were not in the Fourth, but still in the manor.

"What's going on?"

"You and Grimmjow had an argument."

"Right, he went nuts."

"He had a traumatic episode. I am sorry, perhaps I should not have asked you to take on this burden."

Burden. All of Soul Society was suffering, Ichigo most of all, and all he wanted to do was protect the kid. And if he wanted Grimmjow safe, then he'd protect him too.

"It's not a burden." He stated quickly. "It's alright, with me."

"Thank you, Renji. I believe both Ichigo and Grimmjow were rather concerned you would arrest Grimmjow."

"And so were you." He said, understanding now why he was still here and not in the Fourth. They did not want to make this incident public. "You want to help him, don't you?"

"I do not think he poses a threat to us anymore. And he is very important to Ichigo. Yes, I want to help him, but for the moment, this is all we can do."

Renji nodded and swung his legs over the bed, head still spinning. "And at the moment, that's not our biggest problem."

"No. I think everyone in the Seireitei felt Ichigo."

He leaned his head into his hands when he realized he wasn't steady enough to stand. "It feels like I went ten rounds with Captain Zaraki."

"You are lucky you weren't hurt worse."

"Yeah, well I have no illusions, I know I'm just a stopgap captain. I'm still no where near the same league as you and the others. Between Ichigo and Grimmjow, I think they could kill me with just their spiritual pressure alone."

"Indeed, they are very powerful, and it is easy to forget in their current state. Grimmjwo is still as strong as a captain, and Ichigo is—"

"Something else entirely."

"Yes."

"Unohana, that was off the charts. I mean, that was like Head Captain level."

"We can't forget how strong Ichigo became to defeat Aizen."

"But that was in his final stages of Bankai. This was just a flicker of power. It's what that bastard Bach did to him, isn't it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so."

"What's going to happen?"

"Ichigo is already with Captain Kurotsuchi for some tests."

"What? He is?" She nodded and he glanced at the window. "Crap, how long was I out?"

"Three days." His eyes shot wide, he stared at her.

Yes, Ichigo's powers were out of control.

"Are you two really not speaking to one another?" Rukia sat next to Grimmjow on the front step. He'd been almost silent for three days, barely moving from this spot and not accepting any apologies from Ichigo.

"It's none of your business."

"It is, while you're staying in my home."

"I thought this was Renji's place."

"No. It belonged to my brother."

"So where is he?"

"Dead. He was killed in Bach's initial strike on Soul Society."

"Oh." He knew a little something about losing family to the Vandenreich. "Sorry."

"Thank you. But why are you doing this now? Surely you understand Ichigo didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

"Then why are you so angry?"

"I don't know. I just am."

She let it go. "You know where he is now, don't you?"

"Getting his sword checked out or something."

"Not just that. Everything. He's going to have to go through all sorts of tests with a captain he doesn't particularly like. It might even be painful. So when he comes back tonight, I was hoping you would be a bit kinder to him."

"Yeah, well, we'll see." He rose. "I'm going for a walk."

"Okay."

She watched him leave, knowing where he was headed

The twelfth division. Grimmjow stood in front of it for hours once he'd found it. He didn't go in, he didn't really know what he wanted to do, so he just waited until he knew. And when he felt the spike in power that told of pain and fear, he knew why'd he come.

Ichigo was sitting on the floor when he found him, blue jeans on but chest bare and heaving. A strange man hovered back from him, and a woman turned with a syringe in hand.

"I'll give him a sedative."

"Don't touch him." Grimmjow knelt before Ichigo. He was holding his head, power still rippling from him. "Kid?"

"I don't know what happened." Ichigo muttered between his hands. "I was just doing a test and then all of sudden it was like I was back in that room—that chair."

"Come here." He pulled him up off the floor and got him standing, but he recognized the quality of his breathing: he was on the verge of a panic attack. He held him close, feeling him shake all over. "I've got you."

Those three words he'd said so many times. His voice rumbling in his chest against his ear. Those arms around him.

"It has to go both ways." Ichigo said suddenly, forgetting Kurotsuchi and Nemu, their world only consisting of themselves.

"What does?"

"I said I wouldn't leave you, but you can't leave me either."

"I won't."

"But you did." He shut his eyes and gripped the fabric of Grimmjow's shirt. "The last three days, Grimmjow, you've been gone."

"Oh. I'm sorry Ichigo. I won't do it again."

"Good. Now can we go back to the manor?"

There was a weak protest from Kurotsuchi but he'd gotten enough data to keep him busy for a while so he let them go. Grimmjow pulled Ichigo's shirt back down over his head. They walked over the Seireitei in silence, and when they got back to the manor they went to their room which Grimmjow had not returned to for three days, and just lay down side by side, Grimmjow's arms around Ichigo. He could still feel his heart racing, his breaths fluttering.

"Are the tests all over now?"

"I don't know." The teen answered.

"I'll go with you next time, if you have to." "Thank you."

"Are you going to fall asleep?"

"I hope so. I just need the memories to stop."

Grimmjow held him tighter. Eventually, they both went under.

And the angst continues!

Thanks for the reviews,

Riza