Chapter 14

Kensi sits on the couch after the long day of work. She wishes she could say that this was the first time some crazy guy tried to kill her. Boy, things would be a lot easier if that was true. Her nights wouldn't be filled with nightmares. Now, there's one more thing that makes her nervous.

Deeks is going undercover for LAPD. She keeps telling herself that this is his job; this is what he's paid to do. And the truth is that it shouldn't be bothering her nearly as much as it is bothering her right now. She knows for a fact that this is not the first time he goes on a deep undercover assignment. Kensi is well aware of the ridiculous amount of times he has had to pretend to be someone he wasn't. She doesn't know why but she has the feeling that he has been undercover more times than what she has, and that's saying a lot.

So why is she feeling like this? Why is she so scared of what can happen to him? He's a good cop and an even better liar. This should be easy for him. But the thought of Deeks in the middle of a bunch of guys with guns and bad tempers is enough to leave her restless and on the edge of a mental breakdown.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a light knock on her front door. And she knows who's on the other side as soon as she hears it. He always knocks like this. It's almost like as if he's trying to see if she's still awake or already asleep. She almost pretends to be asleep because she doesn't feel like saying goodbye to him once again. She already did that this afternoon. But the rational part of her brain reminds her that he would probably only knock harder on the door to wake her up. That's Deeks, after all. He's not the kind of guy who gives up that easily.

So she gets up from her comfortable couch and answers the door with what she hopes it's an annoyed look on her face. "Must you always wake me up?"

Deeks gives her that goofy smile that seems to never leave his face and shrugs. "Don't even go there. You weren't asleep."

Kensi frowns. "And how would you know that?"

Deeks lets out a laugh. "Kensi, we've been over this before. I know you better than that. You don't sleep with pants. Last time I checked, you slept with nothing but a t-shirt on. Besides, your TV is still on and you don't look sleepy. Can I come in?"

Kensi knows there is no point in arguing with him because he's right. She nods and opens the door wider to let him in. Deeks sits on her couch and waits until she sits by his side.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here or do I have to let my imagination run wild?"

Deeks smiles at her. "I told you that I'm going undercover. I couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

Kensi frowns and tries to find something good to watch on the TV but she figures that it doesn't matter because she's not even paying attention to it. She can't concentrate when he's sitting that close to her…not when she can smell his cologne. It's intoxicating and she almost swears it's still the same as it was years ago. "I thought we said goodbye this afternoon. I wasn't expecting to see you here."

Deeks laughs once again. "That wasn't a real goodbye. Look, I hope things go well with this assignment but I don't like to go undercover and leave things left unsaid or things left undone."

Kensi turns to him, sensing that this conversation is going to turn somewhat serious now. "I know…I don't like it either. Last time I went on a deep undercover assignment I almost made Callen cry with my goodbye. And Callen's not a softie."

Deeks lets out another laugh. "Well, I'm not going to make you cry. Or at least I think I'm not going to make you cry. What I want to tell you is something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now but it never feels like the right moment."

Kensi is not sure of what is going to come out of his mouth but she knows what she wants so desperately to hear. However, that's not what he says.

"Your friendship means a lot to me, Kensi. I feel like I can be myself when I'm with you and that's something special to me. I need you to let me in. I'm not asking you to do it right now but I'm a patient man. And I want us to build a good friendship, based on mutual trust and understanding. I need you to let me get to know you. Promise me that you'll let me do that when I come back."

Kensi hides her disappointment but shakes her head. "I can't promise you something like that, Deeks."

"Why not?"

"Look, this is who I am. If our friendship means that much to you, you'll give me time. Eventually, I'll let you in. But I can't promise you that it will happen as soon as you come back from your assignment."

Deeks nods and gets up to leave. Kensi walks him to the door, something she never did with him. He stops after he opens the door and turns to her with a small smile on his face. "Would a hug be too much to ask?"

Kensi doesn't even answer him. She just wraps her arms around his neck and allows him to wrap his arms around her waist to pull her closer to his body. She is not sure of how long it takes them to pull back but as soon as they do, she immediately misses his warmth. He leaves a kiss on her cheek and leaves.

That night, Kensi falls asleep with memories of him and prays for his safe return.

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Hi everyone!

As some of you might know by now school is about to start. And I belong to that huge amount of students all over the world that are seeing their summers coming to an end. Pretty soon, I will be back to spend my days hearing a teacher talking for hours and I will be so tired in the end of the day that the only thing I'll be able to do is sleep.

Therefore, I'm proud to announce that I already have the next 21 chapters written for this story and I'm already working on a new one. I can't promise that I will update as often as I do right now but I will post at least one chapter per week (as long as I keep getting a decent amount of reviews).

For now, I'm making the most out of the two weeks I have left before school starts. But you'll still get your chapters regularly.

Don't forget to review,

Sarah