Chapter Fourteen

He led her out of the chamber and down the hall.

Rose kept her eyes shut, and she clung to the Doctor. Tears streamed down her face as he led her steadily down the halls. She was shaking, trembling in his arms, and she was scared.

Rose had, in a way, just killed a creature.

The reality of it hit her with such a force that her knees slackened, and the Doctor had to catch her before she could fall. "Rose," he yelled frantically, touching her face in concern.

She wished she could be stronger. Rose wanted to push the Doctor away. She was angry at him, so furious at his actions. She had never expected to see him snap.

But Rose couldn't push him away. She was too numb to try, and a part of her brain told her that she wouldn't make it three steps without his help.

So, she clung to his lapels and he helped her up, and she finally opened her eyes.

The Doctor's brown eyes stared desperately at her face, as if he were terrified. She wanted to scream, to tell him how unfair it was, because she should be scared of him. She blinked, and looked away from his face, focusing on the hall.

He sat her down gently and went to talk to Van Statten, explaining what had happened. Adam came and tried to console her, but she glared up at him through her red stained eyes and he swallowed and backed away.

Rose heard distinct yelling, and then the Doctor was back, helping her up with his gentle hands. A surge of anger rushed through her once again, mad at his gentle touch when he had been so cruel with the Dalek.

And then they had returned to the TARDIS, and Rose couldn't feel numb anymore. She snapped back into herself, into reality, and she turned on the Doctor as soon as the doors had shut.

"How could you?!" Rose screamed, hitting his chest with her small hands. He stood there, shaking as she hit him but unable to move. "How could you just stand there while it had died?! It was changing. It was - "

She choked on her words and stopped hitting him, instead collapsing into his arms. He rocked her back and forth, combing his fingers through her hair as she began to cry.

"It was changing," she sobbed, clutching to his jacket desperately.

The Doctor moved slightly, and Rose lifted her head to peer at him through her red eyes. Gently, the Doctor lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek, wiping away the tears that had escaped. She leaned into his hand, sucking in a tiny gasp of a breath.

"I'm so sorry that you watched me break down," he said gently, and Rose choked on a sob.

"I didn't even recognize you," she whispered. "It's like you were a different man. Your face changed...it's like your eyes were blue and icy...but they also head fire and rage and they were so angry.."

The Doctor swallowed, and let go of Rose's face to wrap his arms tightly around her waist. Her arms hugged him back tightly, and she buried her face in his neck. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm so sorry."

"Why were you so angry, Doctor?" Rose asked brokenly, and her tearstained eyelashes ticked his neck. He pursed his lips and pulled her closer, resting his chin on top of her head.

"I thought I had lost you," he admitted, whispering the words into her hair. Her grip tightened on him slightly, and the Doctor continued quickly. "I thought that the Dalek had killed you. And it tore me up. You... You're all..."

He stopped talking, unable to finish his sentence. Rose's quiet, scared breathing filled the air, and the Doctor squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the sound. "The Daleks took everything from me. They... They're the reason my home burned. I could stand the thought of them taking the only thing I have left."

Rose hiccuped and sighed. The Doctor lifted his head, making a split decision that he hoped he wouldn't regret later. She lifted her head, too, confused, and the Doctor stared at her gently. He began to lean down, but then Rose surprised him.

She froze, and then moved quickly out of the Doctor's arms. Before he could even blink, she was on the other side of the console room, looking startled and scared.

"Rose?" he blurted, just as panicked as her. Rose swallowed and stammered.

"Sorry," she said. "Ah. Um. I'm just gonna...I've gotta go, uh...I'm...yeah."

He watched in shock as Rose turned on her heel and ran out of the console room. The Doctor swallowed thickly, surprised.

He was terrified, to say the least. Rose was his everything - the tiny human had seared her way into his hearts as if she had been there all along. And he cared about her - Rassilon, he cared so much for Rose Tyler.

He had thought she felt the same.

But there was always this constant panic in her eyes, apparent whenever she thought he wasn't looking at her. She was scared, on edge. The Doctor had noticed how she poised herself, on her toes, ready to run at all times. He had seen her hazel eyes dart from side to side before she moved, and how her moves were quick and graceful and sure. It was the stature of someone like him - someone who was constantly running.

But from what? the Doctor thought frustratedly. He could help her, save her - if she'd just trust him.

Of course, he realized, she had no reason to trust him.

He was mad, a nutter with a time machine that traveled through space. She had literally stumbled into his life, when he'd least expected it. She had been thrown into a whirlwind adventure of living plastic, and then he had found her again and asked her to leave her family for him. She barely knew him. How could she trust him?

The Doctor groaned, and ran his fingers through his hair. He stared blankly at the buttons on the console in front of him, before he pressed a few and sent them spiraling into the Time Vortex.

Rose gasped slightly as the TARDIS shook, before settling back on her bed. She could tell that they were floating in the Vortex, and she wondered how long the Doctor would wait before coming for her. She stared at the walls around her, domed and showing her the universe. Eventually, her eyes snapped down to the backpack at the foot of her bed.

It was a new one, a nice one, that the Doctor had bought her at some fleece market in New New Delhi on the planet Ringelamoxe. She had insisted for something simple, but he had still gotten her a beautiful backpack. It was black and felt like silk, but was as sturdy as her old one had been. The fabric shimmered if you held it the right way, lighting up with whatever image the owner wanted to see. Rose reached for the backpack carefully, and then closed her eyes.

When she reopened them, the fabric shimmered, showing her an image of a Christmas from so many years ago. She smiled slightly, touching the fabric where it showed her mother, smiling happily. Rose blinked, and the image was replaced by her father. It was the image she remembered him by - the picture of him standing next to her mother on their wedding day.

She blinked again, and the fabric shimmered, taking longer to show its image. When it finally completed, Rose stared silently at the memory of the Doctor.

He was beaming from ear to ear, and his eyes shine brightly. It was an expression she rarely saw from him. She could always see the anger and fire in his eyes - there was hardly ever hope. He threw his head back, laughing in the memory, and Rose smiled fondly.

This was the Doctor that she cared for, she realized soundly. This was why she had cared for him so deeply.

Rose swallowed and pushed the backpack away. It was filled with anything she might need if she left. Rose had no desire to leave - ever - but she was ready in case he wanted her gone, or in case she had to go home, or if she had no other choice. The backpack, she had realized quickly, was bigger on the inside, and it held clothes and notebooks and shoes and Rose's locket.

It terrified her that she had thought so heavily about leaving the Doctor. She had barely been traveling with him - she hadn't even known him that long. It shouldn't have been so hard for her to think about leaving.

But she did care about him, more than she should. Despite their short time together, he was everything she had. It was the two of them against the rest of the world - they needed each other.

Why was she so afraid?

She stood up off her bed, and paced around her room. Finally, she gave up on fighting with herself about him, and opened her bedroom door. She took a deep breath, staring at the coral of the hallways, and then swallowed thickly.

"Doctor?" she called.

A/N: Short, semi-calm update before the next chapter - which I'm sure will cause some fuss...

And guys - I actually updated! If only you could tell how proud I am.

Review! Please?

Yours,
Kat x