Seven years later

I no longer wake up, my tee shirt drenched in sweat due to the air conditioning being shut off in the middle of the night.

I no longer freeze in the winter because I can't pay my heating bill. I no longer go days with only scraps of food to eat. I no longer spend my nights on the street, praying someone will pay me to be their company for the evening. My life has completely changed, for the better.

After winning my games, the Capital sent me back to District 8 with well wishes and an apology in the form of a house right next to where Noah lived in the Victor's Village. Then they left me alone for a few weeks before my Victory Tour began and I had to relive every horrible moment of the games.

But it was worth it. Because I won, my district was guaranteed food for a whole year. No children had to take out extra tesserae that year and increase their chances of being sent into the arena next.

When I returned to District 8 following the Victory Tour and final party at President Snow's mansion, I expected life would return to normal. I figured I would return to my normal routine and I'd be left alone for the rest of my life.

Not so.

Besides the fact that I was now a mentor, everyone in the country now knew Noah and I were more than just friends. It seemed that everyone wanted to know about us, which meant that Caesar Flickerman was stopping by for interviews about every month. How was I doing, how was Noah, what was life like now...the questions never seemed to end.

Taffeta took over the job of interior decorator, completely designing my new home for me, a house which became hers and Cooper's two years later. They'd just gotten married, and Noah wanted me to move in with him the moment I turned 18. It just made sense.

So Noah gained Blaine and I as roommates while Cooper and Taffeta started married life.

Year after year I returned to the Capital to mentor new tributes alongside Noah. And year after year, I watched them perish. Noah, Will, and I seemed to be the only successes District 8 would ever have.

I yawn as I roll over in bed, finding the spot next to me empty. Noah almost always wakes up before me and is usually downstairs making breakfast by the time I climb out of bed.

As usual, I find him in the kitchen chatting with Blaine about this years upcoming games. Unlike other games, these will be special this year. It is the Quarter Quell, meaning the games will have a special theme that is due to be announced tonight. The last Quarter Quell had double the amount of tributes. Who knows what this one will be.

I walk into the kitchen clad in my nightgown and robe, doing my best to stifle a yawn.

"I guarantee you they're going to change the ages of the tribute pool," Blaine is saying, stuffing a roll into his mouth.

"No way, Snow would never let that fly. I think it'll be a tribute pool of only victors relatives. He's always looking for ways to revictimize the supposed winners of the games."

"Yeah, but if that's the case that pretty much leaves me and Cooper. Let's hope that's not it."

Noah nods his head in agreement as I come up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Morning love. I hope I didn't wake you earlier."

I shake my head. I can't remember hearing him climb out of bed at all. "You didn't, I promise." I press a kiss against his bare back and let out a sigh. This is something I will never get sick of, spending my mornings with Noah and Blaine, pretending there is nothing in the world to worry about.

"What time are they supposed to announce the Quarter Quell again?" Blaine asks, getting up from the table as he runs a hand through his very messy hair.

"About nine, right after dinner. Coop and Taf said they'd be coming over to watch the announcement here. I tried to convince Will to come too, but he seems to prefer the solitude."

Blaine shrugs his shoulders. "His loss. I'm going to head into town for a bit, get our shopping done before I head to work. I'm going to shower before heading out, but I'll be home in time for dinner. Coop and Taf coming over tonight?" he asks.

I look up at Noah, a content smile on my face. "Did Will really say he isn't coming?" I ask sadly. Will may have not been my mentor during my games, but he is practically family. I may have held some resentment towards him following my mother's suicide, but I no longer do. Will and I are the same. I understand him in a way I didn't before my games, and I've forgiven him for pushing me away all those years ago. Besides, Noah and I are all he has.

Noah shrugs his shoulders. "He told me to fuck off when I asked him to join us tonight."

I let out a sigh. "Did you even bother trying?" Noah gets fed up with Will easily. As soon as Will gives him a nasty comment, Noah walks out. I am always the one convincing Will to join us for meals and other events. I think Noah still hates him a little for drinking during the time I was in the arena instead of helping me.

Noah's face turns a little red, meaning he really didn't try to convince Will to come tonight. I let go of him and head for the stairs, intending to change out of my nightgown and into something I can be seen in public in.

"Hey hey, where are you going?" he protests. Today was supposed to be our day. In fact, we'd planned this day for almost a month. We had no interviews, no appearances, no meetings with Capital people. It was going to be just the two of us lying in bed, going into town, just being a couple. Well, not anymore.

"To get dressed. I'm going to go talk to Will and see if I can convince him to come over tonight."

Noah lets out a loud sigh. "Why do you even bother with that old drunk? He's not worth your time, Rach."

I feel my blood boil a little before just completely ignoring Noah. I stomp up the stairs and hear a crash as I imagine him throwing something against the wall. Every time we get into a fight (usually over Will), he tends to let his anger out by tossing a plate or something similar against the wall. I'm sure he does worse while I am gone, but every time I return home, it is like nothing ever happened.

After the games, President Snow and Persei sat me down for a meeting about what was expected of me as a victor. I didn't just represent my district, I represented the entire nation of Panem. That meant I was to dress and act like a role model now, not a little girl who got her kicks out on the streets. Those were his exact words. Persei sent me home on the train with an entire packet outlining what was expected of me. It included twenty pages about dress code.

That means, even when I am just walking one hundred feet to where Will lives, I still have to follow the dress code. Any violation, and things will not be good for Will, Noah, or I.

I run a brush through my hair. leaving it in waves. I put on some light makeup before pulling on black tights and a tan collared dress. Unfortunately, since we are in the north of Panem, it is still quite cold out. In fact, it snowed just last night. I grab a black coat out of my closet and pull it on over the dress. I pull on a pair of the least ridiculous shoes I own before finishing the entire look with a matching hat, scarf, and glove set.

I make my way downstairs where Noah is still standing in the kitchen, an apologetic look on his face.

"Rach..." he starts but I hold up a hand to silence him, picking my purse up off the counter.

"Noah, I don't want to hear it," I say, turning my back to him before disappearing out the front door.

A thick layer of snow covers the ground and I struggle to walk the small distance between where Noah and I live and where Will resides. Part of my dress code includes me wearing heels at all times, something that makes walking in the snow quite difficult.

I manage to make it across the street and onto Will's porch where I pound on the door. "Will! It's Rachel!" I yell. "Open up, it's freezing out here!"

I hear a few thuds and a bang before the lock clicks and the door swings open. It's been almost two weeks since I've last seen Will, and those two weeks have made a difference. He's lost at least ten pounds and I'm positive he hasn't bathed once.

"What?" he snaps, though his voice is soft. It always is when he speaks to me. Or Taffeta.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

He pulls the door open wider and I step inside, expecting to be met with warm air. Instead, the air inside is almost colder than it is outside. I sigh, figuring Will hasn't bothered to stay up to date on any of his bills. What a surprise.

I walk over to the fireplace, ignoring the state of chaos his house is in, and start making a fire to provide some warmth in the house. i don't understand how he isn't freezing, but I suppose all the alcohol he drinks provides a warming effect. That, or he's so far gone he doesn't even feel the cold.

Once a fire has started and the temperature rises a few degrees, I pull my coat off and set it on the only clean chair in his kitchen. "Will, no offense, but you look terrible," I finally say.

"So, do you normally go over to people's houses and insult them?" he grumbles, searching in his kitchen for what I assume is a bottle of something.

"No, and that's not why I came here."

"Then why did you show up today of all days?"

"We want you to join us tonight. I know Noah attempted to ask you, but he didn't really try. Please Will, you should be around friends."

Will lets out a sarcastic snort. "Friends? You all just feel bad for me. Poor drunk Will, no one else wants him around so we'll adopt him." He tosses a mug over his shoulder and it shatters. "No thanks, I don't need that."

"We don't feel bad for you," I insist. "We want you there. At least I do. And so does Taffeta. She's cooking, and you need to eat something. Please Will, tonight is the one night you shouldn't be alone."

"I don't want to watch them announce the fucking Quarter Quell, okay!" he snarls, flinging another cup at the wall. I shrink back, never having heard Will speak that way.

I look at Will before looking at the ground, the wheels in my head turning. "That was your game, wasn't it? The last Quarter Quell?"

"A fucking nightmare, you mean. 48 tributes in a beautiful arena where every goddamn thing was poisoned. They say the Quarter Quell is supposed to be this big celebratory game, but it's really the Capital's way to shove the knife in a little further. The tributes for these games have no idea what they're getting into. The arenas are worse, the mutts worse, the games worse."

Will is sitting on the floor, looking at the broken pieces of china in his hands. I walk up and squat down beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I understand," I say, and he knows it's true. "None of us want a reminder of our games, but it'll be better if you're around others instead of here by yourself. Please Will," I beg. He looks up at me and nods his head.

I don't say anything, just wrap my arms around his shoulders in a tight embrace. For once, things seem like they're getting better, like they're going to be okay.

But of course, I'm wrong.

Will comes home with me and I send him upstairs to shower and sober up before dinner. Noah and I make up, and everything is fine.

Once the day is over, Taffeta, Cooper, and Blaine file in while Noah and I finish cooking. Will is napping on the couch and soft music fills the house. A fire is roaring. Everything is fine for once.

Once dinner is finished, we all sit on the couch, Cooper turning on the channel where the announcement will occur.

"I don't understand why they make a big deal about announcing this," Cooper says, relaxing back on our sofa as the Panem seal displays on our wall, a countdown clock slowly ticking away the seconds left until the Quarter Quell is announced.

"Well, the Capital needs to remind us lowly district members who has the power in this country," Noah replies bitterly, his hand massaging circles into my shoulder. "After all, we're forced year after year to watch children murder one another, and it's a game to them."

"Hey, it's over for us, remember?" I remind him, leaning a head against his shoulder. "We won. We never have to go back there again." Will lets out a grunt of approval, yawning as he leans back. I can tell he's itching for a drink, but I've made him promise none while he's here. I can tell it's killing him.

The Panem anthem begins as the seal fills up the screen. President Snow walks out onto the balcony of his mansion, waving to the cheering crowd below him. In his hand is an envelope, the edges worn and frayed as if the envelope and its contents are very old.

In theory, the Quarter Quell themes were written the same year the first Hunger Games occurred. Each Quarter Quell, a card was chosen at random, deciding the unique theme to that year's games. I still think Snow picks and chooses what card he wants to read off.

Snow smiles at the camera and clears his throat. "Greetings to all the citizens of Panem. This year, the 75th year of the Hunger Games, is an exciting year. Here in my hands I have the instructions for this year's Quarter Quell." The crowd gathered in the Capital cheered loudly. After all, they had no chance of being reaped.

I watch as Snow tears the envelope open and pulls out a yellow card, clearing his throat before leaning his face forward so he is closer to the microphone. "To remind us that even the strongest are vulnerable, this year's tributes will be chosen from the pool of previous Hunger Games victors."

I can feel all the color I my face drain as the impact of Snow's words hits me. Blaine is saying something but I am a million miles away. I feel a hand on my shoulder as Noah attempts to comfort me but I can barely feel it. Instead, I stand up from the sofa and head for the door, ignoring my family who are all trying to talk to me.

The only thing I hear before I reach the front door is Will letting out a string of expletives.

I run out of the house and slam the door behind me as a loud crash erupts, needing to be alone right now. Everyone knows me as the strong one. I survived my entire family dying and then came out of the games alive. Of course have to be strong now that I've just found out I'm going back into the arena.

Except I don't want to be strong. I want to curl into a ball and cry. I want to be alone so I can let my emotions out instead of pretending to be strong for everyone else but me. I'm still dressed in the same dress and silly heels as earlier, but my coat is sitting inside. My dress has short sleeves and the temperature has dropped even from earlier. As I run through the snow, I can see my breath. A few tears fall from my eyes and freeze on my face. I need to be inside, but I need to be alone more right now.

I stop in front of an alley and close my eyes, letting the memories invade my mind. The night my mother killed herself, this was where I went after Will tossed me out. I sat outside for hours in the freezing cold back then, not remembering how to get home. I fell asleep in the snow, wondering if I'd ever wake back up.

When I awoke that morning, I was in my bed with Blaine and Cooper hovering over me, having found out about my mother by that point. I couldn't remember how I got home but I always figured Blaine's father, braved the cold and found me.

I hear the snow crunching as footsteps approach. I look away, not wanting a stranger to find me like this. The crunching gets louder and someone crouches down beside me, wrapping a blanket around my torso. I look up, stunned to see Will. "What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"Someone had to brave the cold to bring you home. I figured I was the best choice since I've already done it before."

"What are you talking about?"

"That night your mom died. After you left my house, I wandered out to find you and apologize. When I saw you weren't home, I started searching. I found you asleep here, cold as ice and minutes away from freezing to death. I brought you home and warmed you up. Then, when I knew you were going to live, I left and got plastered."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?" I ask him, carefully pealing a frozen tear off my cheek.

Will shrugs. "Dunno. Figured you didn't want to be reminded about that night."

I smile at him sheepishly. "Will, I've been hating you for turning me away that night all these years. But you came back for me. I guess you really do care," I say teasingly.

"Don't read too much into it," he grumbles before rising to his feet, holding out a hand to me. "Come on, let's get you warmed up and then home. I'm sure your boy thing is worried about you." I take Will's hand and he pulls me to my feet before wrapping an arm around my shoulders, starting to lead me back home.

I don't know how I can face Noah or anyone right now. I just want to keep crying because, no matter what, I'm going back into the arena. Will and Noah, there's a chance for one of them. But I'm the only living female victor. I'm doomed.

Will helps me up the front steps and into his house. I take a seat at his kitchen table as he starts a fire. I watch him, shocked that he is still completely sober. He rises to his feet and drapes a blanket around my shoulders in an effort to warm me up, then places an empty glass on the table in front of me.

He takes a seat at the table across from me and fills the glass with an amber liquid before placing the bottle in front of himself. "Trust me, it helps," he says.

I eye the glass for a moment before taking a long drink, shuddering as I do so. The liquid burns the inside of my throat, but he's right: I already feel better. "Will, what am I going to do?" I ask as he refills my glass. "I can't go back."

"You don't have a choice, sweetheart," he says, taking a swig from the bottle.

"I know, but how am I supposed to fight in these games? The other tributes, they're my friends. And Noah...I could never yell at him, let alone kill him. I'm finished." I place my head down on the table in frustration.

"Hey now, you know your man would never put you in a position where you'd have to kill him. He'd do anything to save you."

"I know," I sigh, a few tears falling from my eyes. "That's what worries me most. If he gets reaped, he'll sacrifice himself to save me. I can't live without him, Will. He's my everything."

Will seems to be deep in thought as he stares at the wall behind my head. "There's nothing I can do for you, but if Noah's name gets called, I'll volunteer. But if my name is called, it's out of my hands," he says.

I smile at him and nod my head. "Thank you, Will," I whisper before finishing my glass and rising to my feet. "I'm going to head home. Please, be safe tonight," I say. "We can start preparing tomorrow," I say, leaving the blanket on the table before heading for the door. I open it and walk back out into the cold, braving it for the small distance between Will's house and mine.

I walk through the door and am greeted by darkness. Taffeta and Cooper must have gone home. I slip my shoes off and leave them by the door, tip-toeing upstairs to the bedroom I share with Noah. If he's sleeping, I don't wish to wake him.

I push the door open and find him lying in bed, wide awake and staring up at the ceiling. He sits straight up as I walk in and jumps out of bed, pulling me into his arms in a crushing embrace. "Oh love, I was so worried," he says, burying his face in my hair. "I thought something had happened to you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Noah," I promise, looking up at his face, his features still worried. "Really, I am."

He leans down and places a kiss against my lips, pulling me close once more. "Well, I'm not. I'm not ready to go back. I don't know if I can do it with you next to me. These games, they're going to be different, Rachel."

I pull my dress off and leave it on the floor, my tights joining the garment a moment later. "I know they are," I say, pulling a nightgown on over my head. "The other victors, they're our friends." Every year, Noah and I are expected to attend the ball at the end of the victory tour in the Capitol. We're good friends with several of the victors. How are we now supposed to see them as our enemies?"

"I don't know, love," Noah sighs, crawling into bed. I join him, pulling the blankets over our bodies as I lay my head down, snuggling close to his side. Right now, all I really want is to be close to him. He pauses and I hear his heart beating. "I have a question."

"Okay. I have an answer."

Noah sits up and pulls me with him. "I love you, Rachel. More than anything else in this world. There's a very real possibility both of us might be dead soon, and I don't want to leave this world with any regrets." He reaches beside him and holds something in his hands in between us. I look down and gasp, seeing a sparking ring. "I know it's horrible timing, but if I'm leaving this world, I'm doing it with everyone knowing you belong to me. So what do you say? Will you marry me?"

I know there's a huge smile on my face as I throw my arms around his neck and give him a deep kiss on the lips. "Of course I will," I say once I pull away. I look down at my hand and watch as Noah slips the ring onto my finger. I admire it for a few moments before I turn to him. "You know, it probably would have been better to propose on air," I tease.

"I don't give a damn what would have been better. All I care about is making you mine in every way possible. We've got a few weeks until the reaping. I'll pull everything together before then, I promise." He places a kiss on my forehead before starting to leave a trail of kisses down my face.

I giggle slightly as Noah lays me down in bed, his body hovered over mine. A moment later, my nightgown hits the floor followed by Noah's boxers and he is inside me. Over the years we've been together, Noah and I have made love countless times. We've had breakup sex and make up sex and even angry sex. But we've never had just engaged sex. This time is special.

His eyes never leave mine the whole time and he keeps whispering I love you's in my ear as he moves inside me. All too soon it's over and the two of us stay wrapped in each other's arms under the blankets, using one another for warmth.

Slerp starts to come over me as my eyes become heavy. "I'll protect you, love," Noah whispers in my ear, his index finger tracing up and down my arm. "I'll never let anything happen to you." He starts to say something else but exhaustion finally overtakes me and I am asleep before the words leave his mouth.