You know you read too much Hp when: Chapter 14, a harry potter fanfic

Submitted by anyadelacour:

1. you ask to put y our name down to order the next book before the name has even been released

2. if u see another book with magic you tut at how wrong they have it all.

3. your computer recognises jk rowlings website when all youve typed in is "w"

4. you enjoy playing at harry potter characters, because the films have them so wrong.

5. you have written to jk rowling asking for a book 8

651. You look in a hedge and think somethings staring back.

652. You find an old hat and place it on a stool expecting it to sing and then cramming it onto your head waiting hours and hours for it to place you in a house.

You pray each night that Fred George Ron and Harry would come out in there Ford Anglia and take you with them back to the Burrow.

653. You try writing to the Ministry of Magic telling them to check in the Malfoys palace again this time under there Drawing Room Floor.

654. You try to make friend with gigantic and raggedy teachers in hopes of them being Lupin or Hagrid in disguise.

655. You go to every graveyard you know of and then some look for the same old headstone the one thats says Sir Nicholos De-Mimsy Porpington died 31st October in 1492.

656. You see a stone gargoyle and say lemon drop or cockroach cluster in hopes of a wall splitting apart revealing Dumbledores office in back.

657. You beg your choir teacher to let you sing the sorting hats song the hogwarts song or the singing valentine and dress up as charecters of cupids for your next concert.

658. You ask your history teacher about the chamber of secrets.

659. You see a spider and yell "Aragog!"

660. After you drink tea your swivel the things in your cup with your left hand turn your cup upside down draining it onto your saucer and try to figure out what you tea leaves mean.

661. You go to yours or someones elses wardrobe and yell Riddikulus in case a boggart is hiding inside.

662. You get your mail and say "junk, junk, Daily Prophet, junk, junk, junk!"

663. You buy a giroscope and when it spins and whistles, you start calling it a pocket sneakoscope.

664. You've read the books enough times to know that theres a spelling error near the end of the 4th book, a missing quotation mark.

665. You mistake a cigarette lighter for a Putter-Outer.

666. You dream you're Harry Potter on a regular basis.

667. You daydream about the day (aah, bliss) the last book comes out.

668. You go on any Harry Potter quiz you can find to test your knowlege.

669. You complain that the questions are too easy for your superior intellect

670. You are afraid of saying Voldemort's name. (I get cold chills when I do.)

671. After reading each YKYRTMHPW you find yourself laughing and saying, "OMG! That is so true!"

672. You buy every single bit of HP merchandise.

673. You know every little bit about the movise because you've seen each one 20 times.

674. You go to the library and constantly pester the librarian to order Hogwarts: A History.

675. neighbor offers to play Harry Potter and then you walk about the house putting spells on everything in sight.

676. You make brownies and chocolates in the shape of frogs.

677. You fill bottles with dried roots and powders, then label them Powdered Beetle, Wolfsbane, etc.

678. You make (or get someone to make) Weasley sweaters for you

679. You often hyperventilate in order to pass out and when asked why you did such a thing, you blame it on a Dementor.

680. Whenever you see a stray black dog on the street, you gasp and order your Mom to pull over.

681. You frequently leap onto your desk in school and shout, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

682. Your friends have now accepted this as a norm for you

683. You have actually considered jumping out of your window to see if you bounce.

684. If you wear glasses, you force your parents to by the black, round pairs and as soon as you get home, you snap them in two and reattach them with a lot of scotch tape.

685. You are chronically afraid of spiders.

686. You realized the word "Hermione" and "chronically" have the letters that spell Ron

687. You treat the term "Voldemort" as a disgusting swear word.

688. You have tried to send letters to faraway relatives by tying the letter to your parakeet and tossing her out your window, and then wondered why she did not return afterwards.

689. You purposefully get into bike accidents in hopes of walking away with a large jagged scar on your forehead.

690. You refuse to associate with rats, insisting they are in reality small, egotistical, gullible men.

691. You attempted to perform curses on your Draco-ish older brother(s).

692. You have a whole section of your room devoted solely to Harry Potter.

693. At a school program when they asked you to introduce yourself and where you were from, and you said Hogwarts.

694. You claim that Harry is real and burst into tears whenever someone says he isn't.

695. People claim you read too much Harry and you say point-blankly, "Harry Potter isn't everything, but he is right up there with oxygen."

696. Pages from your copy of CoS (or any book) are missing, but you have them memorized anyway.

697. You collect ticket stubs from everyone else that has also seen the movie and have them displayed in a glass case.

698. You hate Spiderman with a violent passion for the obvious reasons.

699. When asked what you would bring to a desert island if you could only bring one thing, you state quite plainy, "My Firebolt."

700. You sleep with your collector's edition Harry coke cup