hi guys

i'm so sorry i've been gone for over half a year

i'm the actual worst

The first thing I'm aware of is a dull, throbbing pain.

The next is indignance. I swear, if I get knocked out one more time...

The cold is what prompts me to open my eyes. Three inches away from my face is the ugly shag carpeting I've lived on for a year. I shove myself up onto my elbows.

I'm back at home. It's early morning, and I can see my breath. Glancing over to my right, I can see Sauron lying on the floor next to me, unconscious.

I blink and shake my head.

Ten minutes later and I'm sitting at my own kitchen counter; Sauron, the Lord of the Rings, is sprawled unconscious on my sofa. My head hits the countertop with a dull thud.

Time to pull yourself together, Ana.

First things first, there's a faint dusting of snow outside, so it must be winter- and I've clearly been gone long enough for the city to cut my heating due to neglecting bills. From the looks of things, the electricity is gone, too.

"Ugh, fuck." The water still works, which is something- I sip from a glass as I survey the damage, compiling a list.

First things first- electricity, heating, get the bills paid, clean out the fridge, and...

Contact my family. I curse again, slapping down my cup. My mother's going to kill me when she realizes I've been gone for ass-knows-how-long. I dig my old phone out from the back of a drawer, wiping crumbs off of the screen and clicking it on.

The Nokia logo lights up the screen, the number buttons glowing softly. I sigh in faint relief at the 10% power notification, feeling an actual smile pull at my lips. I scroll through to my voice messages.

154 missed calls from: Mama, Dad, Chelzz, Jacob, and 4 others

I choke on my water. My mother's gonna strangle me- at least, after she stops crying. A swell of guilt presses into my gut, and I toss my phone onto the counter before wading over to the pile of mail scattered about the mail slot in the front door.

I finish filling out the electrical bill, placing it onto the stack along with the cable and mortgage bills. The wood in my fireplace is dry and I have matches, so soon there's at least some warmth in the house. I lean back onto my hands and look over at the couch and its unfortunate occupant.

Sauron is half curled-up, trails of blood coming from a gash just above his eyebrow. His skin is grey, and doesn't emanate heat when I place the back of my hand half an inch from his forehead. I'm pretty sure he's some kind of angel spirit, so why he's bleeding and appearing to be at death's door is beyond me. Maybe something's actually wrong with him.

I fold up my legs and rest my chin on my palms. The Ring was destroyed shortly before we wound up here, and destroying the Ring was supposed to destroy Sauron. Scrambling off of the warm ground, I pull a fleece blanket with Wonder Woman on it out of the hall closet, swaddling myself in it as I race upstairs. It's on my bookshelf- my sister's worn copy of Lord of the Rings, and beside it a nearly-new paperback of The Silmarillion.

I flip open Lord of the Rings, finding the part with the Council of Elrond. So, Sauron forged the rings... and put a large amount of his essence into it, in order to render it extremely powerful. And since the Ring was destroyed... a large part of him was destroyed as well.

When I make it back down the stairs, Sauron is in the exact same position as before. His chest barely rises and falls as he breathes, and his face looks even more colorless. Panic seizes me against my better judgement, since he's a terrifying and dangerous mass-murderer, but he's also curled up on my couch half-dead. I take a deep breath and go to get the first-aid kit I keep in the kitchen.

The first thing I do is try to clean the blood off of his face. It doesn't look like regular human blood; its color is darker and deeper, and it glimmers in the firelight like it's flecked with gold. I dab at the cut on his forehead with a wet paper towel. The bleeding is nearly stopped, but I put pressure on it anyways for good measure.

I look down at him, then at myself. We're both coated in dirty stone dust, a small amount of blood spattered over his clothing- and mine, as well. I sigh. I've probably gotten my Wonder Woman blanket all dirty, and I can't do laundry without water. I brush his hair away from his forehead to better examine his cut, and, without thinking, press my fingers on the side of his cheekbone to see if he's still cold.

Immediately, pain sears through my entire body. A choked gasp works its way out of my throat, and I curl up onto the floor in agony.

Just like that, the pain's gone completely. I raise my head, blinking dumbly. Sauron lets out a quiet groan, and shifts his head.

My eyes widen and I launch myself away from the couch. I see him scrunch up his face, hissing when his hand makes contact with the gash on his forehead.

"Hey. Don't touch that." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. Sauron turns to look at me, and instead of looking his usual combination of pissed and exasperated, he looks pissed and confused.

"Your cut- the one on your head. Don't touch it." I bite down on both lips to prevent myself from blurting out anything more.

"My- I know." He blinks slowly, once. "Where are we?"

"My house. I told you, I cone from... somewhere else."

"Why are we alive? We should be dead."

I throw the bloody rag at the coffee table. "Well, I'm sorry you're not dead, Mr. Dark Lord. Would you like me to do something about that?" It comes out quite a bit louder than I'd intended, and he winces minutely. "Besides, you're in my house. Getting blood on my sofa."

Sauron lets out a sigh at that, and I sigh right along with him. "I can't believe this is happening to me."

"Surviving a fatal structural collapse?"

"No, you. Sitting here. On my couch. You're the actual worst."

There's a barely-noticeable smirk on his face, but I choose to ignore it as I sit back down in front of the fireplace. My mind's whirling, responsibilities to take care of, family to contact, consequences to avoid.

Ugh, I'm so screwed.

heyy so tell me what ya think

i'll really try not to be so long next time

i love all of you! like in a not-creepy way