Chapter 12
The drive all the way to New York was long, arduous, it made Derrick tired but all he could think about was getting to Alfred, and hitting his stupid head for causing so much worry. He knew in all honesty he wouldn't do that, he just wanted to hug his son, hold him and tell him that if he ever leaves like this again Derrick just wouldn't know what to do. He knew that John wouldn't be able to cope if anything happened to him now; he was too broken down as it was. It was as though it was Alfred that was keeping them together, keeping them sane and their emotions in check.
John had always wanted a child and that's why it had originally been so difficult for him to admit he was gay, that he only saw men attractive. It was hard for him knowing that he would never have a naturally conceived child of his own, but when he had met Derrick in a way he felt better. It was easier knowing he had Derrick to hold, to love and everything seemed a lot brighter, he lived a few years happy and content with what he had, because Derrick was a wonderful man to him, perfect even. Soon, John grew broody, he would see little children and nearly be brought to tears, he would coo at the baby clothes in the shops and Derrick knew he had even bought some of them. He had hid a small onesie in his drawers that said, daddy's girl.
Derrick had never been a broody man, he had never craved having a child, however seeing those tiny outfits and little baby shoes he realised, and how can anything that small possibly be scary? He had approached John one day after he had settled in his mind he was ready to raise a child, and spoke to him softly about child rearing options. Could they adopt? Should they get a surrogate? He had remembered John's ecstatic face when he had finally come up to him and talked about it, this is when they realised they were serious. They discussed their various options for hours on end, what was best and what they wanted most, it took months for them to finally decide of surrogacy.
They both came to the conclusion they wanted to raise the child from birth, and avoid the complications that may arise from adoption. They contacted all the right [people and after another couple of months of waiting and being checked thoroughly by the agencies they were registered, just waiting for some pregnant woman to pick them. It was an agonising wait; John would always pick up the phone with a childish excitement, his eyes sparkling with that glimmer of hope. When his voice became subdued Derrick knew it wasn't the phone call they were dying to hear, John would look at him with watery eyes and turn away from him as he continued his phone conversation.
They had been on the register for nearly two months and John was becoming depressed, he had given up hope that the call would ever come, he grew ill from worry and he became skinny. Derrick worried dreadfully and tried anything to make him happier, told him constantly not to give up hope. "Who wants to give their unborn child to two gay men" He had cried weakly as Derrick held him. Derrick shushed him and rocked his small form.
"Honey, not every single person out there could have the same ideals, or how else do other people do it?" He had asked him tentatively, John had merely nodded and clung closer to Derrick. He truly wanted this child more than anything in the world, it was something that would make or break him, and Derrick knew it.
It was on March the 31st 1996 just after the clock had chimed twelve a clock the phone blared through the house. John was home, he had his holiday leave and was trying to spend most of it in the garden gardening and he had sighed tiredly at the sound of the phone's incessant ringing from inside the house. John had answered the phone with a polite hello and was surprised to hear the man from the agency talking to him, telling that he and his partner were being asked for an interview. John nearly choked and dropped the phone, a grin quickly forming onto his face, he told them ecstatically and with a laugh that they would be there next week for the crucial make or break interview to try and get the child. John had thrown down the phone and ran from the house in his slippers and not coat, only stopping to grab his car keys.
He had run into his office, all his employees looking at him curiously as he sprinted through the building upwards to Derrick's office. It was when he reached his floor that he slowed the smile on his face so big and permanent he didn't know how it would ever be erased. He slowly watched Derrick working alone in his large office, his face full of concentration, John watched him and his face softened. He lightly tapped on the door and waited for the polite come in, he entered and Derrick didn't look up from his desk right away. When he glanced up and down he looked back up again with a confused look in his face. "What are you doing here John, and dressed like that?" He said with a small smirk.
"I have something to tell you" John said walking closer to the windows and looking out over the other workings, he carefully slid the blinds shut for the first window. No onlookers from the outside that way, and he walked even slower to the second, closing the blinds quietly. He turned back to Derrick with a grin, whilst he looked back at him with a lust filled smirk and his eyebrow quirked.
"What do you have to tell me, for you to come all the way here dressed like that, and in slippers no less?" He said softly, pulling John closer to him. He fell onto his lap and Derrick leaned backwards in his chair, letting him be closer. John smiled and soon his eyes were shining with tears.
"We had the call baby" He said softly, pressing a deep kiss to his lips.
"The call? You mean?" He looked at him with wide eyes.
"We have an interview with the mother next week" He said beaming. Derrick's eyes were wide for a few seconds before he let out a breathless chuckle and his face grew wide, his own eyes now shining too.
"That's amazing" He said standing with John still in his arms, he was clinging close to him. They kissed passionately and held each other close; it was after that day that it was implemented people weren't allowed blinds for privacy in their offices.
They arrived at the interview building their palms sweating with nervousness and their hearts racing in their chests. They were gently guided to a small room, there were hard sofas for them to sit o on one side, and a small coffee table between them and the interviewer, whom had yet to arrive. The mother was soon going to be sitting in front of them, bearing a child that may soon be their own. John couldn't stop moving and twitching, looking around the room with hastily moving eyes, he was beyond what he would call nervous, Derrick soon pulled his chin so he would face him. "Calm down love you are going to do fine" He said softly, kissing his lips to try and quell his nerves. John sighed and closed his eyes.
"What if she doesn't like us? Then we will have to wait even longer" His breath hitched a little as he said those painful words, unable to let his eyes open again.
"If she doesn't like you then there must be no couple on the world good enough for her"
John sighed, and let his breathing calm him, opening his eyes and looking into Derricks, his nerves vanishing just like that. "Thank you, for everything" He told him quietly. A soft cough interrupted their intimate moment and they broke apart like they were shocked by electric. A small womanly laugh filled the air and a clearly pregnant woman sat down opposite them.
"Well at least I don't have to ask if you love each other, that much is clear, you work well together" She said confidently. John blushed but smiled at her, then couldn't help himself from looking down at her expanding belly. "My name is Amanda, it is nice to meet you both, so which one of you is Derrick, and who is John" The briefly introduced themselves and finally the question burst from John's mouth when he could no longer hold it in.
"Ho-how far along are you?" He said quietly. She smiled broadly at him, and gently rubbed her stomach.
"Well honey I am six months along, quite exciting huh? That's why I want to find the right couple soon; I need them to be ready as well"
"We can be ready" John said quickly, he was letting his excitement and want for a child build up.
"Honey this is an interview for her to decide if she wants to give the child to us, let her ask the questions" Derrick said softly, putting an arm around him discreetly.
She smiled at them again. "Okay do you own your own home?" She began, they went through a torrent of questions and soon they all found themselves relaxing, becoming more of who they actually were. The interview went well, or at least that was what John and Derrick thought, but it was all down to her now, she had to make her decision on whether they were good enough to take the child. When the interview neared its end they stood up with stiff legs, Derrick helping the woman to her feet.
"Oh and can we ask what the sex is?" John said smiling at her again, his eyes constantly drifting to her belly. He just couldn't seem to help it, he knew there was a baby in there, one that may one day be his own and he couldn't help but want to feel her belly, just to try and be closer to it.
"Of course honey, it's a healthy bouncing baby boy, getting really big and he certainly doesn't mind kicking me around a lot" She said with a small laugh, as if to make her point the baby kicked at her. She grasped Johns hand quickly when she gasped. "Quickly feel here" In that second John fell in love, he was completely helpless as that tiny foot kicked against his hand, a small tiny baby was inside her womb kicking out at him. John couldn't stop the tears that caught in his eyes; he quickly left the room in a whim, separating himself from that tiny being, knowing there was still a chance she said no, he didn't want to be attached. However, in his heart he already knew it was too late.
They had to wait for another week until they finally got their answer, and it had dissolved them both to tears. They were going to have a son! They had both laughed and cried and hugged each other so close knowing they were going to have a boy son. Their own child. They had rung all their relatives finally telling them they were getting a child, Cassie and Derrick's parents had been ecstatic, knowing they were getting a nephew and a grandson, even if Cassie was already pregnant with her own little boy. They were stuck in a perpetual state of happiness, always smiling and laughing, constantly thinking about the child they would soon gain.
Amanda was going to stay with them near the end of her pregnancy, so by the time she was eight and a half months along and close to dropping, she stayed with them in their home. She watched them as they painted the room, making it a bright yellow so it was light and airy. They built the cot together, and ended up arguing because John wanted to follow the instructions but Derrick decided to ignore then and do it blind. The cot eventually got built and the pushed it near to the corner of the room, making sure to add a lot of toys and loads of clothes into his wardrobe, they got all the necessities and when the due date came around they were completely ready.
The entire day and those close to it they were on baby alert, but nothing. No sign of their son, he wasn't even showing signs of coming by the end of the month, and Amanda was becoming strained and tired. They knew they may have to induce her if she waited much longer. On the first of July they were surprised by the arrival of Matthew Williams, Cassie's own son and they were ecstatic for her, she showed them him over the internet, using a calling system so they could see him. She told they would be driving down eventually so they could meet officially. However, seeing Matthew made them long for their own son to enter the world. They had waited long enough and were dying to see him.
Late in the night on the third of July however, they were woken by Amanda. The baby had decided to make his presence known. They were in a panic, all except Amanda herself, they drove to the hospital and helped her through a difficult labour. Then at six thirty-two of July the Fourth, Alfred Franklin Jones, weighing eleven pounds and seven ounces, entered the world with a massive cry and wriggling arms and legs. John had cried then and there as they were handed their child, he was messy and dirty, but he was so perfect, better than anything they could have imagined.
Derrick had always been quietly nervous about getting their child, he hadn't felt the same rush of love when he was in the womb, but he knew he wanted him. It was just difficult to love something that wasn't there yet.
The moment he saw that small child, his hands clenched into tiny fists and his crying dying into nothing but a whimpering at being somewhere so foreign and new, somewhere terrifying. He knew. He fell in love with the child and a smile so full of love and hope grew on his face, a feeling that was so odd and foreign filled him. He had never felt this way in his entire life, and now he had his son, and with his first breaths in the living world he already had him wrapped around his tiny fingers. They both stood their staring at him, Derrick kissing John's head as he cried, holding both his son and his husband close in his arms.
They had a son, together they finally had all they had been longing for.
Amanda didn't want to see the child, she said she didn't need to it wasn't her child; all she wanted was one photo which they would send her when they had taken him home. Now many people had asked her why she could even give up a child so callously, letting it go without any regrets. Amanda wasn't a cruel woman, she didn't get pregnant by accident, and she did it through a will of her own. Amanda had two children of her own at home, whom she loved dearly and wouldn't trade for the world, but she had never wanted anymore children, however she loved being pregnant. When at first a friend had told her she was unable to conceive a child Amanda had a thought arise deep inside her.
She had told her she would carry a child for her, and become the surrogate mother, let her have the child she so desired. So that is what she did, she went through the implantation process and got easily pregnant, her womb being such a fertile home for the egg. When she gave birth she couldn't bear to look at the child and gave her away, her friend was happier than she had ever seen her, and her husband couldn't stop thanking her for what she had done for them. With the look on her friends faces, her heart swelled with a different kind of love, although giving away that child was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, it was also the best thing she had ever done and ever will do.
After she had recovered from the shock of giving birth and holding that child but having no baby she decided that she wanted to do it again. When she finally got pregnant with Alfred, it was her tenth pregnancy, she was so happy when she saw their faces holding that child she knew that she had made the right choice. When she returned to her children she was happy, glad to be home and could finally relax, she received the photo later that month. It was a picture of Derrick and John with bright smiling faces, although they looked tired, but there between them was a very beautiful baby boy, his eyes wide as he looked at the camera. She smiled and put it on the shelf with the others.
Derrick thought upon that moment and as he watched him grow and changed he felt himself grow with pride at what he had become, and what he was growing into. He smiled lightly as he saw the sign for New York, his heart swelling with emotion, he was so close to his son, the sun was now dipping behind the city line and he approached it, he was nearly reunited with his only son, who he loved so dearly. He was nearly reunited with him. With the boy that ran around the yard as a boy chasing butterflies while laughing his then high pitched giggle, trying forever to catch the pretty floating colours. It made Derrick smile thinking on it, ho0w cute and innocent he once was, he was rather a slow developer when he was young, his height didn't kick in till he was fourteen when he seemed to shoot upwards.
He quietly reflected when he was around five years old and he had had a nightmare, and came crawling into their room with his toy rabbit hanging loosely in his hand, rubbing his eyes to try and dry them. He had looked up at them as the groaned, and then Derrick had sat up to see what was wrong. He was looking up at them with terrified eyes and a quivering lip, Derrick had extended his arms out to him and he had run forwards jumping onto the bed. He had clung to Derrick and John and was shaking a little, Derrick had settled him back under the quilt with them smiling at him as his eyes began to drift closed once more, he tried to fight it but soon he could no longer stay awake. He fell asleep between them with his arms above his head, Derrick had kissed him on the forehead and fell back to sleep.
Derrick was finally getting closer and closer to the place where Alfred was staying most likely terrified and lonely; when he reached the right place he parked outside and took a deep breath. He walked to the reception and asked them if they knew where a young boy was staying, blonde haired blue eyed, they had told him he was staying here and he demanded entry into the room, of course they immediately denied him. He argued with them for letting a teenage boy into a hotel with no parents at all and the quickly relented. He wandered up the stairs checking his watch and realising how late it was.
He was surprised that he had even been able to get into the reception, it was far past midnight and normally they would have shut the doors by now, unless they were waiting for someone. He found the door in no time and walked in quietly and could hear the slow sounds of breathing, Alfred was clearly asleep. He walked around the corner and saw him lying on top of the covers with the hotel phone in his slack hand, his face red and swollen. He had clearly been crying a lot and Derrick sighed with sadness, he felt his heart was burdened with all of Alfred's sorrow as well as his own.
He pulled of his coat and walked over to his son, his beautiful son who was in so much pain right now that it made him hurt too. He sighed and walked over to the bed, lightly sitting next to him, he gently pulled of Alfred's shoes and socks, then lightly taking of his thick jacket. He murmured a little in his sleep, his eyes flickering open, although he wasn't really awake he was still dazed and wasn't truly seeing anything. "Papa" He muttered quietly and let him remove his jacket; he sighed in his sleep and fell back easily into his heavy slumber. Derrick smiled at him, he looked so vulnerable and young while he slept, but for once he looked peaceful, not angry, and not sad. He looked just fine. He stroked the hair from his face gently and smiled, he knew he would be okay.
He pulled of his own shoes and his jacket, feeling the exhaustion of the drive finally getting to him, he yawned heavily and pulled the quilt from under Alfred. He shifted and grunted a little but otherwise he didn't stir, he fell heavily onto the single bed and tired to make himself comfortable. Sleep hit him harder than he had expected and he was asleep in no time, letting his mind wander back to Alfred's childhood days.
~o-O-0-O-o~
Adam Kirkland was a simple man with simple tastes. He liked to have a glass of whiskey with dinner and upon entry into a house, with a no ice in order that the taste does not dilute. He liked to have a dinner nearly ready when he arrived so he had time to settle in, but not too long that awkward silence's filled the empty space, he liked being at the head of the table as the dominant male should be. He was a wealthy man in fact a very wealthy man at the top of his game in his business, often called ruthless when it came to making deals and tough decisions. He is mostly unrivalled when it comes to his luck and his wits when in deal breaking or making situations, always the man they would go to when in need of his services.
There was one thing he wasn't though and that was mean, highly strung? Yes. Out to gain perfection in everything he does? Yes. But he was not a cruel man. His riches made his life comfortable and he got everything he wanted, he spread the money between his sons and his wife, in order to keep them happy and, for his sons, get them well educated. His eldest was Scott, who was now twenty five and working in an office in the same building as Adam, he liked to keep him close, easier to keep an eye on that way. Scott liked to drink, he would Irish everything, his morning coffee, his mid-morning coffee, and he would drink at lunch and dinner, and then go out in the evening for more drinking. Yes, he had a drinking problem, a severe one, and it made him rowdy and sometimes nasty.
Adam Kirkland found he could barely tolerate his oldest son as he was, even though he was smart and did his job well; the drinking problems brought his entire persona down. He was disappointed in his first son, always being dragged home by one of his other friends or younger brothers, not someone he could openly rely on to take over his business when he chose to retire.
His second legitimate son was Colin, who had recently finished university and was planning on taking a year out to travel the world before being stuffed into an office. One that Adam already had made up and he was waiting for him to return so his second eldest can join him in the family business. However, like his eldest he had a flaw, one that Adam was not happy with, and it made him test his abilities far more than he would have normally. Colin was violent, and often was find fighting at bars, completely sober. He seemed to ask for them with his cocky attitude and undeserved self-obsessed swagger of his. He always walked with an air of pride, as though he was the royal family himself, having his head high looking down at everyone else. He attracted the violence and he loved it, which is why he was so flawed.
He would often be dragged home be the police or one of his friends after he had gotten injured in a fight. He had scars everywhere and had ended up in the hospital more times than Adam himself could count. Adam grew tired of his antics and hoped it was just his teenage testosterone being too high and wound up, either way he wasn't suitable for the family business as far as he could see at this moment.
Then it came to his third son, Tristan, who would have no chance of taking over the family business. Mainly because he wasn't even going into it, at first Adam had been furious with him, he didn't talk to him for over a year, and then when he finally got into a university in Wales, he decided he would have his son conquer the arts, and get to the top that way. He had already planned on buying him his own studio in London where he could work on his art works, he may even have to donate to a gallery to get him into the main galleries in the world he would find a way in no matter what. Tristan had to succeed in order to make up for not following in his footsteps.
Finally there was Peter, who was only twelve at the moment so he didn't hold any great expectations for him yet, however, he is loud and big headed already and a bit of a mother's boy so he didn't hold out any hope for him to not disappoint him. Finally it came to his illegitimate child Arthur; there was someone he could be proud of, for now. He was gentlemanly, incredibly polite and he knew his place, he knew how to behave and abided by the Adam's wishes. Then again it wasn't like he had much choice but to be obedient considering he had to rely on him for a living.
Adam was a man of simple needs, not only in his leisure and business life but his sexual life too. One woman just wasn't enough for him, his sexual desires ran high and he needed it more than his wife was willing to give. He had over two mistresses he who saw irregularly, and he also had women who he found around for a quick shag against a wall or wherever they happened to be. He often had one night stands as well as being able to satisfy the woman he had in various homes, he was a man with strong desires. So he found Arthur's mother whilst he was in a bar, she was showing of her perfect figure, her sensuous mouth talking to him and she writhed and danced on the stage.
Soon she had moved into one of the poles in the club and began to give him a show; he could tell from her look that it was exclusively for him. Soon he had walked over to her and danced with her, writing and pushing against her slim body, pushing their bodies together. Their nights ended with a rough fuck in the bathroom of the club, completely drunk and carelessly, all thoughts of protection forgotten. Adam had left the club satisfied, and didn't think of it after he finally reached home.
It was two years later when she finally found him and started stalking him, telling him that she had given birth to his son, at first he ignored her but when he finally got a glimpse of the lad and saw those ever prominent Kirkland eyebrows he sent off for a DNA test. Soon he realised that he was indeed a father of five, one of them being his illegitimate child. She had pestered him for a long time until finally he had to give into her demands and give her what she wanted. However, Adam found that he held small hope for the young boy; he was a good looking lad and clearly smart, learning things at such an early age.
Adam was on his way over for his yearly meet with the boy, knowing he was cooking also made him feel a bit happier, the boy certainly was an excellent cook. He just hoped his studies were going well, if not he would not be best pleased, Kirkland's don't fail. He drove his car up into the empty drive and climbed out quickly, locking his car quickly before heading to the front door. He knocked loudly twice, composed as ever and waited for the boy to answer; he knew Adam didn't like to be kept waiting. He answered the door hurriedly.
"Welcome Father, did you have a nice drive?" He asked politely, he knew how his father liked to be greeted, and he knew he had a severe problem with his own patience. "Please come in" He said ever courteous.
"Thank you Arthur, it was fine, the usual although there was a lot less traffic than usual, that is why I am here a few minutes earlier" He didn't like to be early he liked to be on time, and hated being late.
"I do not mind father I am basically ready for you anyway, at least the stress of traffic didn't hassle you this evening" He responded with the same restrained politeness. He took his father's coat and hung it on the coat hook, gesturing for him to walk before him as he entered the house. "Whiskey Father?" He asked him once he was in the dining room.
"Ahh yes Arthur, no ice" He told him this unnecessarily, he knew what his father like, and he knew he would have a glass of whiskey. He had left it airing in the other room in a crystal glass. He had quickly returned to the kitchen and collected the glass, handing it to his father with a tight smile. He nodded to him to take a seat at the table, pulling out the chair for him as he made to sit down, hand ing him his napkin so he could order it for himself.
"Now if you will excuse me father, I will be serving the dinner in just a moment" He told him softly.
"Yes yes Arthur go ahead" He responded swiftly and watched as the boy left to return to the kitchen. The boy knew how he wanted everything, he knew he liked to sit with his whiskey for a few minutes before dinner is served, letting him settle himself down after work. He never once questioned him as he drank, even though he knew he would be driving home; there was nothing Arthur could do. He had learnt that the hard way, just like most things in his life.
Adam knew that Arthur would serve steak, because every time they had meetings Adam would order a steak, medium rare, served with new potatoes, carrots and mushrooms and a little sauce for flavour. Nothing more nothing less, he expected it from him, and if Arthur knew what was good for him that is what would be served at this table. Adam felt that being a man he should eat meat, he liked large portions of meat for at least one meal of the day, and he found those who were vegetarians were not men, they were ridiculous excuses for human beings. There was nothing wrong in killing animals that was just how Adam saw it.
Arthur returned in five minutes with the exact order he had demanded without having to even ask, he laying it carefully in front of him and put his own down sitting down carefully in a refined manner. He picked up his knife and fork and eat in small controlled bites, making sure to eat everything on his plate, his father hated waste. They ate in utter silence, Adam didn't like dinner talk he thought it rude to talk over your food, and utterly pointless. Arthur gently sipped at his water, his thoughts free from the restrain that his body and his attitude were.
He had been thinking on Alfred a lot lately, he hadn't had a call from him as of yet, he hoped the boy would call him at some point. He had enjoyed talking to him, his accent was cute and it made him smile hearing him although he knew he was going through something rough back home, he knew he had to be patient. Like he always was. He watched his father carefully, making sure to eat faster than him, he always made less for himself, in order that he could eat if all and finished before his father did. That way once his father was finished he could quickly get up and whisk away their plates.
He quickly retreated to the kitchen and put the plates down carefully, he pulled a light blue folder out from the small drawer where he kept various documents and returned, carrying another straight whiskey. "Would you like to move to the front room father?" He asked softly, his father nodded curtly and followed him, he sat down and Arthur handed him a fresh glass.
"Now Arthur, it is time to discuss your schooling" He said formally and then took a sip of his whiskey. Arthur opened the folder quickly and found the status report he had gained from various teachers and handed his father over the document. He read it quickly and thoroughly, the only worrying thing was that his tutor Mr. Diederich had taken an interest in the boy, he seemed to think he was in trouble of some sort, it could clearly be seen that the man was worried for him.
Adam glanced at Arthur who wasn't looking at him, he ticked that off as one annoyance, eye contact was important and normally Arthur was always good at it today though he did seem a little distracted. "Your grades are perfect as usual however, this message from you tutor I am a little worried about. He says something about you being overtly quiet and withdrawn, is this so?" He asked him formally, wanting to stress that this was not correct social behaviour.
"Yes father" He replied weakly.
"Well Arthur this just isn't good enough, you need to keep your social status in top form, I want you to get into a good college and you need exemplary social skills, now I hope to see improvement by the time of out next meeting. Is that clear Arthur?"
"Yes father, I will become socially involved within the school" He told him, finally looking up at him. Adam smiled his business smile and shook his hand, he was thankful that Arthur had a firm handshake. Adam failed to see the pained look in Arthur's eyes, the sad expression that held strong on his face; he only looked at the surface never beyond what was necessary. He handed the documents back to Arthur who put them away neatly and then he stood.
"Fetch my coat Arthur" He commanded, whilst handing his empty glass to Arthur. He rushed into the kitchen and dropped it off then quickly picked up his father's heavy trench coat and walked back into the front room. He handed it over to his father who shrugged it on and smiled at him once more. "Okay now is there anything else?" he asked him quickly, normally there wasn't but today was different.
"Yes father this letter came to the house" He said softly and handed him the letter, in which he almost forgot to give him. His father sighed a little in annoyance and looked curiously at the letter, and then decided to pocket for now and read it later.
"Well, I had best be off now. I will talk to you about the contents of the letter if they are important at all" He told him casually. Arthur led him to the doorway and watched him drive away, politely holding up a hand to say goodbye, just the way he liked it to be. Arthur let his hand drop heavily to his side and sighed, pressing his hand into his eyes to try and get rid of the sleepiness. Having his father around him always made him tired, having to act the way he wanted was difficult and made his temples ache. He shuffled back into the house and toed of his loafers in favour of some soft slippers; he walked to the kitchen and decided to ignore the dishes for now, boiling the kettle so he could make himself a cup of tea.
He found his favourite mug, one that was large so he could have more tea to drink; he always enjoyed his tea so getting a large mug to drink it with was simply divine. He gently plopped the tea bag into it and sighed again, he often found himself sighing a lot after a visit from his father. He certainly made the job of being his son difficult, he could only wonder what his other children would have to deal with. He waited silently for the kettle to boil, watching as the steam began to rise and flood the small area in which it was contained. He let his hand gently play with the wisps of steam that drifted upwards. He enjoyed the warmth it bought to his cold hands, and he let himself warm his hands on the steam, being careful not to get too close.
Then the kettle clicked and he moved his hands away, reaching for the handle and lifting it with a huff, he had filled it quite high again. He gently poured in the steaming liquid, watching the teabag float and grow puffy from the water and hot air flowing through it. Watching the water turn darker and darker, the golden brown colour becoming more prominent and he smiled as he smelled the aroma of the Earl Grey he had decided to have this evening, the slight hint of lemon being prominent as it filled his senses. He sighed softly and moved to the draw to pull out a tea spoon, gently stirring it before removing the tea bag. He found the milk and poured in a little, not wanting it to be too milky and light, and finally he added to teaspoons of sugar.
He smiled softly at this simple pleasure and shuffled into the front room, holding his cup in his hands to warm them a little. He sat heavily on the sofa, sinking backwards into it and curling his feet onto the warmth of the newly purchased furniture. Arthur liked the time after his father's departure, or whenever he was dropped off after their dinner to think about what his father had said to him. Maybe he should become more sociable. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try, he thought simply. However, it wasn't as easy as just talking to people, was it? No, it couldn't be, he had gained a rather anti-social reputation at school already, he couldn't simply change that, not that easily anyway. Maybe if he waited until he got into college, it was only next year anyway and he was pretty much assured to pass his exams when the time came.
Arthur soon resigned himself to believe that he would have to wait for a change of schools before he would be able to fulfil his father's wishes, and that didn't seem to difficult. Besides the next meeting wouldn't be for a year, so by the time he has the next meeting he would have been in college, and will have a lot of friends. He knew what he was hoping for was fairly ridiculous and not as easy as just making friends, at least not for someone like him. Arthur wasn't an easily approachable person, and he wasn't very fun to hang around with. In face he found he himself was rather boring, either way he would try. He would try to live to what his father waned, become what his father had always longed for in a son.
Arthur had distorted delusions inside his head, ones that he couldn't see himself and just treated as an everyday thing. For one was his sense that he had to do everything according to his father, which had grown from the fact that his mother had thought nothing of him, he wants to be seen as something worth knowing in someone's eyes. So he strived to follow whatever his father wanted of him, because that is what his dysfunctional life had taught him.
Arthur had a sense of abandonment and reasonably so, the only issue with this is his inability to trust others, ha can't trust anyone not to leave him. So he avoids and pushes away his friends, tries not to make any new ones, and it has grown worse as he has grown older. He used to be friendly and accommodating, wanting nothing more than to find a friend, but soon his heart just grew colder. Unwilling to let anything in to warm up and help him and it is because of these trust issues that his home life is so secret. No one knows how truly isolated he really is, the cover up his father adds into the equation doesn't help.
Arthur was a hurt and confused child, and as the situation with school was worsening so was his own self belief in hope. Hope seemed to be running further and further from him, he could barely even see it in his mind anymore and believes he will be alone like this for the rest of his life. However, the small ray of hope he does sometimes see is through letters and emails from a boy named Alfred F. Jones, sadly he was so far away that even that is little help for him at times. A letter can't stop the loneliness in his heart. And email can't stop the bullies from picking on him. A phone call can't help him to make friends.
In all essence Arthur believed he was utterly alone and the one person, who may have been able to help him, wasn't there.
~o-O-0-O-o~
Alfred must have left the curtains open because very suddenly the bright light hit his eyes and made him come quickly out of his dream world and back into the bitter reality. He groaned and then he turned around in the bed and buried his face in the pillow, trying to blot out the harsh morning light that was so blinding. He heard a quiet chuckle in the room and then his eyes opened. 'Oh go there is someone in my room!' He thought desperately to himself, he didn't want to move in fear that he will attack any second. So very slowly and very carefully he moved his head around to the source of the noise.
There in the corner next to the window Derrick was leaning against the wall with a small smile on his face. "Papa!" Alfred cried suddenly and he leapt out of the bed and rushed towards him. Derrick pulled him in tight and wrapped his arms around him tightly, resting his head on his as he smiled happily to himself. He truly was glad that Alfred was actually well physically. Too many times he was woken in the night whilst he was missing after having terrible nightmares of his demise.
"Now then Alfred, we need to talk" Derrick began, Alfred groaned and shook his head, pushing his face into Derricks chest as though it somehow made him invisible. Derrick sighed heavily and then manoeuvred them back onto the bed, pushing Alfred away so he was sitting next to him. Alfred however did not look at him; he kept his face low and his eyes downward.
"Can't we talk when we get home?" He said quietly, completely unlike his usual self.
"Me and you need to talk okay, now you have no idea how incredibly worried me and your father have been" he began calmly. "You have no idea what you put us through, and you Aunt Cassie and you cousin, I'll have you know that Matthew has been so upset while you were missing" He told him sternly, Alfred felt himself getting smaller and smaller. "This is not acceptable behaviour, and running home Alfie? What have your father and I ever done to deserve that?" He added, it was making him feel strained having to rebuke him like this when he was clearly hurting.
"I'm sorry, I really really am. You have no idea how sorry I am, I know I am an idiot but it just happened. Then I figured that I couldn't go back because you would hate me" He told him honestly. Derrick sighed and pulled him close to him.
"Damn it Alfred, we could never hate you, you are the best thing that ever happened to us. You were more than we could have ever wished for and I have never ever tried to wish it away, Yes we get mad but we are your parent's we could never find the emotion inside of us to hate you" He told him, trying to hold in the saddened tears inside of him that his own son could ever think that off him. He took a shaky breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from falling; Alfred could hear the tears in his voice and clung closer to him.
"Please don't cry daddy, I know I messed up. I love you more than anything, just don't cry" He said carefully, he knew he couldn't handle it if he made his dad cry, especially seeing as he had never seen him cry before. He had seen John cry on a few occasions, but Derrick had always been strong, never crying in front of him.
"Listen, next time you are feeling down and stressed talk to me okay? You want to do something reckless then take up-take up rock climbing!" He exclaimed as he thought of it hurriedly. "Do something legal, and then you can blow off steam, we don't want you ruining our future over something silly, okay, and you always have to talk to us" He told him quietly. "This may surprise you but your father and I are not monsters" Alfred gave a shaky laugh at that and Derrick smirked. "We would do anything for you, and we have been through our own hardships we can relate to the things you may be going through. It is up to you to come and talk to us" He finished carefully, he wanted to get it clear to Alfred that he was in safe hands, and they weren't about to abandon him because no matter what they were family. Beside if they did he was pretty sure his sister Cassie would kill him for letting Alfred go anywhere.
"I-I'll try"
"Alfred I have never been so angry at you, and so terrified at the same time in my life, and I will have you know that you are definitely still grounded when you get back home, and you still have to scrub that graffiti in the park, you are not going to be out of that house except for school and cleaning. No one is going o be able to visit, you are on complete lockdown you here?"
Alfred merely nodded. "I get it"
"And I expect you to apologise to your father, you have no idea what you put him through. He thought the whole thing was his fault for yelling at you, I have never seen your father so upset and physically ill because of something like this. He was distraught when you left, and you will have to make it up to him for that" Derrick said as his emotions rose slightly, he did not let his voice grow louder however, he needed to keep calm and reserved.
"I promise that I will talk to you next time, well I already had a long talk with daddy. I have apologised to him a lot as well. But I get it I will try everything to make it up to you guys or what I did" He said softly.
"Yes you had better, you put us through more than you could imagine. Now that that is over, you talked with Daddy?" He asked him, kissing the top of his head and clinging even closer to him. Breathing in his scent, he hadn't realised he would miss something such as someone's personal smell so badly when they are gone, but that was something he had oddly missed. He smiled, so happy that his son was here in his arms, so happy that he was taking him back home again.
"Yes, we talked pretty much all day. I just told him stuff, I kinda don't wanna repeat it, you can just ask him, he'll tell you" He said softly, Alfred then shifted his position around again so he was lying on the bed with his head in Derricks lap. "Dad, can you just stroke my head, like you used to do when I was little" He asked him, his face was bright red with embarrassment, and it made him smile. He was glad that Alfred still showed him at times that he was still only a child, not quite ready to grow up, and with his fragile state of mind it seemed to bring it out more.
"Sure kiddo" He said quietly and began to stroke his head, across his wheat blonde hair, and even Derrick found it soothing. They were like that for a while, just quietly talking to each other, about anything that wasn't what had happened school, his friends, the fact that Matthew was over. Eventually Alfred found himself talking about Arthur and the visit that was coming up soon, the fact that he was so excited to meet him.
"Hey dad did you know he called me" He said softly, this time rising into a sitting position.
"Oh really, when did he call you?" He asked curiously. He had heard a lot about Arthur through Alfred himself and was looking forward to meeting the kid that seemed to cheer Alfred up when he was feeling down.
"Well it was before I decided to call you, he kind of persuaded to call you back" While he spoke he began to walk around the room and pull his belongings into his bag, getting ready to set off home again. Derrick's eyebrows rose in surprise at his comment.
"You mean he was the one who made you call home" Alfred nodded in response and finally pulled on his socks and shoes smiling for the first time that day art him. Derrick was now utterly shocked, he now knew that he owed this Arthur kid everything, he himself had made Alfred want to come back home, he was excited to meet him now. He would have to give him a call himself in order to thank him properly. Derrick smiled at him and then pulled him into another hug.
"I am glad you started talking to him Alfie, so glad" He told him quietly. What would have happened if he didn't have Arthur? Would he still be missing? Would he have felt even lonelier than he was without Arthur's letters and emails? Derrick was truly thankful for everything Arthur seemed to have done for Alfred.
"Oh and dad?" He continued.
"Yes Alfie?" He responded. Derrick never realised how much he had missed just saying his name, but it turns out it was a lot and he had already realised he was over using it.
"He had a really sexy accent" Alfred said softly, his face heating up a bit. For the first time in a while Derrick burst out laughing and hugged Alfred closer, happy that he was feeling a little better.
They then left the hotel and paid the final bill and walking from the building and heading to the car, which Alfred had never been happier to see. Jumping in and setting off quickly, finally watching as the sights of New York disappeared into the distance, Alfred smiled and settled comfortably into the car seat and prepared himself for the long journey back home.
He never would have realised he would have been so happy to be heading away from on of the cities he had so long to go. But as it disappeared he couldn't have been happier, looking forwards at the open road before them, he was looking forwards to when he would see places he knew, his road, his house, his room. Of course most of all he wanted to see his daddy once more, and hug him for real, and tell him over and over how sorry he is for the hurt he caused to everyone.