Notes: Cats are manipulative little shits.
Chapter 14: Lunch wants to be a Space Viking
Robin was drunk as hell. If someone had asked her, she wouldn't be able to recall if she'd ever been this drunk. She probably should've realized this was a bad idea after the twelfth shot of rum, and before downing the bottle of Budweiser she'd left out for good measure. She was draped across the couch, face down in a throw pillow with Frigga curled up in the small of her back. The room was spinning. It was all she could do not to just puke all over the the place. I have got to be dying. She thought to herself. ...And that was the last thing she remembered before she woke up in her bed the next morning with the God of mischief fast asleep beside her and a hangover for the record books.
When Loki had finally managed to extricate himself from that pathetic excuse for a "war council" he went upstairs fully intent on having a nice, hot shower and passing out in his bed until someone came to make sure he had not, in fact, died in there. Though, as usual, nothing went as planned. Really, he should be used to that by now. When did anything go right for him? Well, that wasn't entirely true. But just because something had gone right didn't mean it adhered to his meticulous plotting. This time, he blamed Robin – or possibly Stark for being a terrible role model. And it was quite the scene.
Judging by the empty bottle of alcohol on the floor beside her, she had pulled a Tony Stark and drunk herself into oblivion. Oh, but this is most certainly my fault somehow, Loki complained to himself as he went make sure Robin wasn't dead - because she looked pretty dead. She wasn't, though. Thankfully. She was half hanging off the sofa in the most awkward position with Frigga asleep on top her. Loki sighed and picked her up with ease. He laid her on her bed and threw the covers over her prone form. Just as he reached the door she mumbled something incoherent.
"Care to repeat that?" Loki asked, a little annoyed that she'd done this to herself. He was also worried, but mostly just annoyed. Robin was not stupid and she knew better than put herself in such a state. It didn't help that he was just aggravated in general because these idiot humans actually thought they had a chance against the Chitauri. Enough of a chance that Stark had suggested he make the most of the night with Robin. ...At which point he'd stormed off and left them all to their own devices. At least the fools had notified the military this time. Really, did these "Avengers" take anything seriously that didn't have to do with him?
"...Stay." She slurred. Well, she said more, but that was the only part Loki understood. Well, he guessed he could do that. Escaping from drunkard bedmates was something he was pretty good at, considering his history. A whole year and a half without getting laid, that was something of a record for him, he noted. Dungeon stint aside, a week would have been a new record. Well, that needed to be fixed and soon.
"All right. For a while." He said and sat on the edge of her bed near her. She scooted a bit closer to him and murmured some drunken nonsense about Frigga being capable of logical thought. Loki couldn't help but laugh at that. Of course she was capable of logical thought. She was highly intelligent. He had even had a few conversations with her earlier, after they returned from Asgard. True, she was a child and was very childish, but Frigga was not stupid. She also really liked Robin and vowed to protect her much in the same way a lioness would guard its young. How could Loki not find that endearing?
"Love you." Robin whispered, tugging at Loki's leather overcoat sleeve.
"Come again?" He asked, frowning.
"Love... Loki." She mumbled and rolled over onto her back and stared dreamily at the ceiling.
"You lo – Oh by the Norns." Loki groaned and looked at the carpet. "You barely tolerate me. While that is more than can be said for most people – mortal or otherwise." She slurred something in reply that sounded like Frigga thought it was a good idea. He looked at the kitten who was ever so innocently trying to get comfortable on Robin's stomach. She regarded him curiously.
"Lunch wants to be a space Viking queen." He heard her voice seem to whisper in his mind. He knew 'Lunch' meant Robin. Apparently there was a type of bird called a robin that Frigga's mother liked to chase and eat. How very eloquent and not revolting in the slightest. At least he knew where Stark's nickname "Little Bird" came from now.
"Was that before or after she drowned herself in her cups?" Loki inquired.
"Before. She asked me what I thought about it and, I told her it was a good idea. A lady needs a handsome and caring mate to give her strong kittens, after all. You would do nicely for her, yes." Frigga replied. She had curled up in a ball and wasn't bothering to look at him like this was the most normal conversation in the world. He hated to think about it. But it made sense. The way she had been so angry about being left behind and the possibility of never seeing him again. She is afraid I will leave her, but even more afraid of admitting she she has feelings for me. She is also almost certain I will betray her as everyone else has. He understood and looked down at Robin was snoring slightly. He would not deny that he had been fighting his own emotions at every turn. It was a losing battle. Ever since Robin had crawled into his bed in Asgard's dungeon, it was like his heart grabbed him by the balls and threw him in her direction with all of its strength. Though, admittedly the thoughts of her had wormed their way into his mind before that. He had just refused to acknowledge it. Loki knew never to let his heart rule. He was about logic, reason and... Oh just damn it all. He was so DONE with fighting this. Either way, he totally was not going to comment on Frigga's suggestion about feline mating habits. But wait a moment...
"You can speak to Robin? And she can understand you?" Loki realized and stared in disbelief at the kitten. True, Robin would make one hell of a sorceress if she were an Aesir, but in a mortal body she had no magic what so ever. She was highly perceptive for a human, and could see through his lies like a thin sheet of glass, but that was extent of it. No amount of trying to teach her magic would be any good either. She didn't have the physical or likely even the mental capability of using it. So how could she speak with Frigga?
"No, she cannot hear my voice like you can. But I have other ways of answering. Lunch is easy to train." Frigga explained enigmatically.
"You manipulative little cretin." Loki said shaking his head. "You are unbelievable." Frigga snorted and ignored him. Loki was not sure to praise Frigga's mischievous ways or be somewhat worried about them. This little animal was nearly as good at scheming as he was. His outburst had woken Robin and she tried again to drunkenly confess her love to him.
"My dear, we are having a long talk about this in the morning, but please shut up and go to sleep. I do not wish to offend you, but I do not find drunkenness particularity attractive in a prospective mate." Loki said. "Here, I will stay with you. Better?" He continued as he took off his shoes and threw his coat over the chair by her desk. Robin inarticulately mentioned something that sounded like "no kinky shit" and Loki chuckled as he slid into bed beside her. He coaxed her over onto her side and wrapped himself around her with his body pressed against her back.
"You have no idea what you have gotten into as far as my perversion is concerned. But you will like it very much. Oh, yes. I have plans for you." He purred in her ear, delighted by the way she squirmed. Maybe he had been intending to bed her that one day when he started driving her into a state of nearly mindless frustration for some kind of petty amusement. Not this day though, Loki had a strict policy against taking advantage of a drunk. Well, unless he hated them. Then it was just for fun, and he did it rather often. Like that time he'd changed into a woman and seduced Fandral that no one wanted to ever speak of again. He laughed quietly as he recalled the memory. No, he was not going to do that to Robin. She'd already jump to her own conclusions in the morning when she most likely would have no memory of how she'd ended up in bed with him at all. That would be bad enough. Besides, he intended to make her beg for him to take her.
Robin was aware of two things when she finally woke up. One: Loki was spooning her. Oh Jesus Christ what the fuck? Two: If she didn't get into the bathroom in about three point eight seconds, Frigga would be covered in vomit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Ugh. She jerked out of Loki's slack embrace and bolted into the bathroom so fast she might as well have teleported. She made it to the toilet just as the contents of her stomach decided they wanted out. She sobbed and rested her head on the cold porcelain toilet seat. It felt like something was inside her skull trying to fight its way out with a dull hacksaw. Fucking hangovers. Fucking Rum. Fucking manipulative little shit kitten. Fuck my life.
"I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my -" She chanted, rocking back and forth in misery.
"Come now, I didn't even take advantage of you. Yet." Loki called from the bedroom.
"Mint tea. Yesterday." She moaned with absolutely zero sense of humor. Loki chuckled and decided to play nice. He also figured it was a bad time to make a comment about mint tea usually being reserved for pregnant women with morning sickness in Asgard. She'd probably try to murder him. And somehow, he wouldn't doubt she'd find a way to make that happen if she wanted it badly enough. Not to mention that her present mood was reminiscent of a rabid pitbull. An angry, feral, possibly starving rabid pitbull with a taste for blood.
Sometime later, Robin found herself back out on the sofa in the living room, sipping mint tea with a wastepaper basket next to her just in case. Luckily, the tea was doing an excellent job of getting rid of the nausea. It wasn't much use for the raging headache, though. Loki was sitting on the other sofa across from her absently petting Frigga.
"Shouldn't you like, be helping to stop the Chitauri from destroying this useless planet?" Robin asked. She was curled up in an almost fetal position with her knees tucked under her chin.
"Not really. The army and SHIELD told the avengers to stay out of the way unless they're needed. Coincidentally, that also means I am not really needed. Well, not at this moment at any rate. Thor is working to locate the Tesseract. Unless we can get our hands on it, there is little we actually can do to stop Thanos. We can slow the Chitauri down if they attack before we get it, but we will not be able to defeat them. Earth's technology and weaponry is grossly inferior to theirs." Loki explained boredly. He hated leaving this part to Thor due to the collective lack of trust for two reasons. One being that Thor is an idiot and wouldn't know how to properly handle the Tesseract if he did manage to get his hands on it. And, he hated to admit it, but the fact that he just could "not be trusted with such an important task" had really stung. Granted he should not have expected otherwise. But for some reason, it really hurt that these fool mortals believed he would consider siding with the creatures that tortured him for the norns knew how long. Well, Heimdall, Odin and Sif were searching too, but still. Robin held her silence for a while until she finally cracked.
"So, why were you in my bed, and please tell me I didn't do anything stupid?" She finally blurted out in embarrassment and refused to look at Loki.
"Frigga told me you want to be a space Viking queen." Loki said seriously. "Yes, I can speak with her, do not give me that look." He added when Robin's faced paled while she frowned in confusion. She definitely remembered pouring her heart out to the kitten under the assumption that no one else would know what she said. It seemed that it was not such an awesome idea in hindsight.
"Did I say anything? Or do anything or..." She bit her lip and suddenly became very interested in the plush red carpeting.
"You told me that you love me." Loki replied, watching her reaction carefully. He was not disappointed. The teacup fell from her shaking hands and hit the carpet with a thud. At least it was empty. The blush that tinted her face was a dead giveaway that this was exactly what she did not want to hear. She closed her eyes and looked like she couldn't remember how to breathe. How did this happen? Robin ask herself. I hated him more than anything and now I... But why? Why was it that she was so reluctant to let him go? She knew the answer to that. They were like kindred spirits; he understood her. All her little quirks, all the darkness in her soul – he understood that and had not pushed her away because of it. She had nothing to hide from him. He was the only person in the universe that had actually managed to get to know her – really know her. She was not ready to just let all of that go. Robin could feel completely alienated in a room full of people. It wasn't that way with Loki. Aside from Sam, Loki was the only person Robin had ever met that made her feel like she belonged – like she wasn't an oddity. Ok so maybe they were both weirdos, but was that such a bad thing? Misery loves company and all that rot...
"And how do you feel about that, exactly?" Robin asked, her mouth dry. Loki considered the question carefully for a moment before answering.
"Intrigued. Curious. Obsessive. Possibly interested in trying." He told her with that infuriating shit eating grin that only he could pull off that well. She was torn between wanting to punch him and throw herself at him in an entirely different manner. How he could use just the right tone of voice to make the simplest statement sound like the most dirty, hot sexy thing was beyond her. She assumed he just got a lot of practice. Obviously he knew what he was doing in that department. She suddenly had the distinct feeling that he hadn't really been trying before. No. He'd only been toying with her then. Just what have I gotten into this time? Robin thought, giving the God a sideways glance.
"And do you care about me at all, or are you just desperate to get laid?" She snapped defensively. He should have seen that coming, really. He knew she had some major insecurity issues when it came to this particular topic of conversation. Oddly enough, it didn't bother him. It would be worth the wait. It would mean something then. Loki was somewhat ashamed to admit that he could not remember the last time sex actually meant something to him other than a brief escape from hellish reality. But as far as why she was so defensive, he would have to figure that out. She may have opened up about some things, but he still didn't really know her whole story.
"If it were just about sex, I would have had my way with you by now. We both know that. There is little point in dancing around the real point of this conversation. And as much as it is out of character for me, it has absolutely nothing to do with sex." Loki said, desperately trying to convince her that he – by Odin's hairy left testicle – was not lying. Not a word. That train of thought effectively silenced him. His silver tongue turned to lead in his mouth and he just stared at her in disbelief. Sex wasn't his first priority in wooing a prospective mate. ...Surely it must be raining in Jotunheim.
"But I'm not immortal." Robin complained. "Obviously that's the real problem here. So this could never work, anyway. It would just be masochistic for both of us."
"That can be fixed." Loki said offhandedly. All right, so getting his hands on some of Idun's stupid golden apples would not be easy, but it also was not a priority nor impossible. That could wait until after he dealt with Thanos and the Chitauri. "That is not important right now. I meant that yes, it is about sex. A little bit. But mostly not. Mostly I have fallen for you like all the moronic little girls with a crush on Thor. ...The ones who throw themselves at his feet like mewling quims in heat. I am not thinking straight and that is entirely unacceptable and... I am rambling. Just ignore me, please." He hadn't even noticed the way he been fidgeting uncomfortably and sat on his hands so she wouldn't notice. Robin tried to not to laugh. Loki was worse at this than she was and that was incredibly amusing. There was no way he was lying, not this time. She mostly knew when he was lying, anyway. It was pretty easy to tell once she knew what to look for - a certain glint in his eyes, a completely blank expression, subtle hints in his body language... Though, knowing that meant knowing Loki and not many people really knew him at all. Not like she did, anyway. Maybe Thor knew him, but Robin wouldn't doubt he could make him jump through hoops for shits and giggles. Thor so desperately wanted his brother back, and to be happy, he'd do anything for that. And Loki knew it.
"Well, all right then. I'm not sleeping with you yet so don't get any ideas. Also I don't actually love you. I was drunk. Not yet anyway. It takes more than a month and a half to be able to actually love someone." Robin replied. Loki silently agreed that it took more than that to truly love someone. He was glad she felt that way as well. He cared for her, yes, but he by no means would be swearing his undying love for Robin any time soon. Which could have been a problem if she was naïve and obsessive enough to think she was mindlessly in love.
"Two things..." Loki began, wishing he could just avoid this whole part of the conversation, but knowing it was not an option. Robin had been nothing but honest with him about the darker parts of her soul, he couldn't keep hiding his. "One, I already told you once this is not my true form. Could you -"
"I don't really care what you look like. You could look like the hulk and I wouldn't give a shit as long as you actually care about me and won't stab me in the back once you've gotten what you want out of me." She answered, cutting him off.
"I am a monster." Loki said miserably. "The monster the people of Asgard tell their children about to keep them in line. I am something evil, tainted and hated." He loathed baring his soul like this. But he never took risks that were not in his favor. She had trusted him, the God of lies and deceit. He should not be so terrified to give her his trust. Yet, how could she love such a creature? Everyone in Asgard either mocked or was terrified of the frost giants. It was impossible to go anywhere without hearing some kind of hate filled comment. He never wanted to admit how much that hurt him, but he learned to mostly ignore it.
"Loki, you're misguided, yeah. But not evil. So, Asgardians don't like frost giants. And I can imagine what knowing that felt like when you found out that you are one. But hey, they probably hate the Asgardians right back. They aren't monsters just because Odin says so. Do you even know anything about them and their culture? Besides, I don't think a monster would cry over a sick kitten. Will you show me?" Robin told him, trying to be get him to be reasonable. Loki thought about refusing for a moment, but resignedly he allowed the illusion to fade. He looked at his hands in disgust. Slowly, he let his eyes meet hers, expecting to see horror or at least revulsion. But what he saw was just plain undisguised curiosity.
"I am hideous." He said, looking away from her and the wide emerald eyes that studied like him an animal in a menagerie.
"What? No you aren't! You're beautiful. Well, in a creepy blue alien way. But totally not hideous. The red eyes are a little weird, yeah, but I can get used to that." Robin said. "Do those markings mean something?" She asked, studying the intricate pale designs that covered most of his body. Well, they were mostly obscured by his clothing, but he was sure she could use her imagination.
"I – I don't know." Loki said, stunned by her reaction. Beautiful? She thinks this is beautiful? He mused inwardly as she voiced another question.
"Can I touch you?" He nodded, uncertainly. He did not think it would burn her skin the way the it did the Aesir, but if it did he could always heal it. Tentatively she cupped his cheek in her hand. It was an entirely new feeling to him. Her touch felt hot, almost scalding but not unpleasant. She didn't jerk her hand away, so obviously his touch wouldn't harm her. That was good to know. She did shiver from the cold, though. There was nothing he could do to stop the thought that he'd like to feel that nearly unbearably heated touch everywhere. His breath hitched slightly just thinking about it.
"Ok, I can live with this. What's item two?" Grateful to get that madness out of the way, he shifted back to his preferred Aesir form. "Item two" was a lot easier to deal with.
"I believe I already mentioned once that I sometimes prefer a female form. Would that be what you Midgardians call a 'deal breaker'?" He inquired, telling himself that he really needed to stop picking up this drivel they call a language. Robin actually laughed at this, which surprised him. He really hoped that was a good thing, or that he hadn't misused her realm's idiotic colloquial speech.
"No, as long as I get to wear the strap-on. Believe me, if there was some way to magic myself myself a penis, I would. So you like to be a girl once in a while? So what? Besides, if you go out that way no one will recognize you. That has to count for something, right?" She finally answered. "You worry about the stupidest things, I swear. Gender really doesn't mean anything to me. I mean, you know me by now. I suck at being female. Sometimes I would swear I'm a guy trapped in a girl's body." Loki finally relaxed a bit and was about to awkwardly ask what a strap-on is when Jarvis interrupted them.
"Mr. Laufeyson, Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner would like to know if you would be willing to assist them with a project of a personal nature. Your expertise in magic is needed." He frowned and looked at Robin who shrugged. Any other time, they'd probably be annoyed by the AI interrupting a conversation like this. But, everything that mattered had been said.
In the end, their curiosity got the better of them and they both let Jarvis take them to Tony's workshop in the elevator. When they got there, Bruce and Tony were leaned over the workbench with a mess of wires and metal parts littering the floor around them. They were so absorbed in their work that they didn't even notice Loki and Robin standing behind them.
"You need my expertise in magic?" Loki asked quietly, causing both men to jump in surprise. Luckily they didn't break whatever delicate thing they were working on. Upon closer inspection, Loki noticed the heap of metal scraps piled on the workbench was the inner workings of the cuffs they'd stolen from the prisons in Asgard. He felt his stomach twist seeing them. Robin noticed the shift in his previously calm demeanor and looked at him questioningly.
"Why do you need these? I am not your enemy any longer." Loki asked a little more fearfully than he would have liked. He wanted no part of having his magic sealed again in any way, well not even partially. That thought would be enough to keep his toes in line all by itself.
"You mean these will suppress your powers?" Tony asked. "Huh, I actually didn't think they would work on you." Loki relaxed a little bit after that statement but he was still wary.
"Not entirely. But I cannot teleport, create illusions or shapeshift while wearing them. ...Which arguably are my most useful abilities." Loki replied. "So you want to know what powers them I would assume. Since they are useless without an enchantment, most likely." Tony and Bruce nodded.
"It's actually for me." Bruce explained, trying to put Loki's mind at ease as the God picked through the remains of the cuffs. "To control the hulk. I've tried everything, and these restraints were the only thing I've encountered that actually worked." Well, that was better than the alternative, and made for a safer living environment. Even if the only time Bruce had transformed since Loki had come to Midgard this time was when they escaped the dungeons. Loki asked for the casing from the original cuffs and examined the runes carved into them. Robin and the two men watched with interest. It was a relatively standard enchantment, he could replicate it easily.
"What are you planning to make it into?" Loki asked. "Something less conspicuous, I would assume. A pair of matching bracelets would probably be the best idea. It would be able to balance the energy field easily. But the circuitry isn't the important part, it's the enchantment and it's ability to draw power from the wearer. You'll need to know how much power you're dealing with to make it work. When a mage uses magic, it manifests first in a current similar to electricity within the body. The enchantment draws that current into the cuffs and disperses it. When that charge is absorbed, it negates the magic before it can take form. For it to function it will have to be touching your skin. You can make into whatever shape you want, but a matching set may be necessary. I doubt a ring or pendant would be enough to suppress the hulk." He explained as he sketched the runes from the inside of the old casing on a notepad that Tony has left on the counter near them. Robin noticed for the first time that Loki wrote with his left hand. Something else they had in common. He would need to make a few alterations; prolonged exposure to such a strong enchantment that wasn't personally tailored to Bruce's needs would actually harm him in the long run.
"Wait, so people wear these in other forms in Asgard?" Tony asked. "People want to suppress their space voodoo?" Loki looked at him impatiently and nodded.
"To be a mage or sorcerer is considered womanish and weak. Magic is scorned, unless it is used to aid in battle. Even then it is questionable. But it is a part of almost everyone's daily life in ways they don't even realize. The Aesir prefer their blades and brute strength. It is all rather hypocritical, really. Those that are born with a gift for it wear jewelry with similar enchantments to suppress it. ...Because magic cannot be controlled without extensive training, and it has a will of its own. To be known to have such powers is shameful." Loki explained with bitterness that was not lost on his audience. And yet another piece of the puzzle. Robin though, watching Loki. She could see the the understanding register on Bruce and Tony's faces as well.
"How did you get away with it then?" Bruce asked, curiously.
"No one wants to insult royalty." Loki said offhandedly, but Robin could tell that speaking about his past like this was difficult for him - and most likely for her benefit. "Though I was anything but loved by anyone other than my mother. She taught me almost everything I know about magic. Thor didn't really care, he is sentimental like that. Anyone that wanted to comment on my lack of masculinity because of my studies had to deal with Thor being angry with them. He does not particularly like it when people bully his little brother. Though, I did not have many – if any real friends aside from my mother and brother." And again, Loki felt an all consuming guilt for how he had treated Thor. He projected his hatred onto the thunderer, but he was always the first one at his side when someone meant him ill.
"There are some things I will need to work the enchantment. High quality lavender oil, crushed black tourmaline, and some of Dr. Banner's blood." Loki explained as he sketched some kind of geometrical design on the paper near the runes. "Whatever you design, make a few extra identical pieces. This may not work the first time and an item can only be enchanted once."
"Can't we just use the same enchantment as that one? We know it works." Bruce asked, frowning. Loki shook his head and asked Jarvis to show him the blueprint where the inside edge of the casing was shown. He stood and pointed a series of runes near the middle of the sequence. Jarvis highlighted them for him. Tony tried not to be worried about how easily Loki absorbed knowledge and his apparent affinity for technology that was so unlike Thor.
"This enchantment is strong enough to subdue a frost giant. That is actually most likely what the enchantment was originally made for. Well, not me. Most of them do not have powers like mine. It would bind the hulk, yes, but it will also harm you over time. The items that the Aesir wear to keep their powers bound are made specifically for them so that there are no negative side effects. Though, this isn't like normal magic. It's far more volatile and less predictable. So it may take a few tries to get the correct balance." Loki explained to Bruce, who absorbed the information easily. That must have been why they didn't just leave the cuffs on him when they threw him in the dungeon. They were probably just used a quick fix until they had other ways to restrain a dangerous magical being. He glanced at Tony who was already sketching up plans and chattering to himself. He was a like a kid with a new toy. Bruce felt his lips curl into an easy smile.
"There's nothing magical about the hulk, though." Bruce suggested. "It was a gamma radiation accident." Loki frowned, he had been certain that the hulk was more of a magical accident.
"It may not be, but it manifests in the same way as my own ability to shapeshift. I can feel it, the way the energy flows is the same. It may not be magic as I know it, but it obviously will still respond to the enchantment." Loki told Bruce.
"You mentioned before that you could shapeshift, but you know, we've never seen you do that." Bruce mused and frowned curiously. "Do you ever lose control of your powers based on emotion?"
"Yes. Mastering that is a part of mastering magic. It is never completely possible to control it without devices like those cuffs, however. For the most part, the worst I have ever done was accidentally teleport myself into the middle of what you know as the Sahara desert some five hundred years ago. I over strained myself trying to work a spell so I couldn't leave for five days. It was inconvenient to say the least. To this day I have no idea how I left Asgard by my own power without the Bifrost or the secret pathways. Heimdall had to open the Bifrost for me to return when he noticed I was missing." Loki explained, shaking his head as he recalled it. "Mostly the effects are harmless if I momentarily lose control. Though, Thor did make me so angry one time that I set his cape on fire. That was honestly rather hilarious and I sort of wish it had been intentional." Bruce and the others had no problem envisioning that scene. Tony and Robin laughed as they imagined big tough guy Thor running around in a panic with his cape blazing. It must have been quite the scene.
"I never thought I would hear 'magic' and 'normal' in the same sentence." Robin mused as she and Loki shared a pina colada back in their living room. Loki would have to wait for Tony to build whatever Bruce wanted to wear before he began figuring out an enchantment. He would do it himself if he could, but Loki was not familiar with the construction – only the magic. He shrugged at Robin's comment. In a way, he agreed. Magic wasn't 'normal' to the Aesir either. It was hated and feared, just like he was. "So, is it just me or does it seem like Bruce has a crush on Tony. I could be over analyzing, but there's something about the way he looks at him." Loki choked on a mouthful of the pina colada.
"I do believe you are right." He admitted, after giving it some thought. "And I believe I know why he wants to suppress his alter ego now."
"Why?" Robin asked curiously, taking the drink back from him. "He can control it, can't he?"
"The hulk emerges when he is angry, from what I understand. He can control his anger, but he not his body's reaction to other situations that cause an increase in the heart rate or adrenaline. Anything similar could cause a transformation." Loki told her, looking oddly sympathetic. Other situations? Like what? Robin wondered as she stirred the pina colada with her straw. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Oh." She said. "That sucks." Loki laughed animatedly and spun around on his bar stool. He's tipsy, holy shit. Robin noticed and shook her head. So that's why he usually doesn't touch booze even though he's a freaking space Viking. The guy is the textbook example of a lightweight. Then, an idea sprung into her head and she grinned like an idiot.
"Loki, once this Chitauri business is over, I need your help causing a little controlled chaos." She demanded.
"I am always willing to cause chaos." Loki replied and leaned forward against the counter with a smirk on his face. "You could say that it is a specialty of mine. Especially the completely inappropriate sexual kind, since I think I know where this going if it has anything to do with Stark and Banner."
"You know it." She agreed cheekily.