Tony was surprised when he pulled up outside Kate's house. She was sat on her doorstep, her knees pulled tight into her chest and her face buried in her hands as her arms rested on her knees.
She hadn't even noticed that a car stopped outside her home and that Tony was now making his way up her drive.
"Kate?" He asked in a worried tone.
"Tony?" Kate looked up, her face was red and her eyes were puffy. Her brows knitted in confusion as to why Tony was on her doorstep.
"Are you okay?" Tony asked as he sat down next to Kate.
"Yes...no...I don't know" Kate sniffled. "I just...I mean...they're 6" a whole new wave of tears streamed down Kate's cheeks.
Tony wrapped his arm around Kate and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on the hop of her head before he hooked his finger under her chin and bought her gaze to meet his. His thumb ghosted across her cheeks wiping her tears away.
"I know this is hard for you Kate. I'm here, okay? I'm not going anyway" Tony whispered soothingly, his thumb gently stroking Kate's soft cheek.
"It's not just hard for me though" Kate sniffed. "They're six. Do they even know what death is? Do they understand it?... I haven't even told them yet, Tony. I can't bring myself to"
"Kate-"
"-Tony, she was more of a mother to them than I am. She was the one who raised them for six years. She's the one who looked after them when they were sick, who kissed away their boo boo's when they fell over, she was the one who cooked them dinner every night, who read them bedtime stories and tucked them in. And now, she's... How do I tell them Tony? I can't do that to them. They've been through enough already!" Kate was now staring down at her lap, unable to look Tony in the eye.
"Kate, look a me" Tony said, his own heart was broken so he knew how bad Kate must be hurting right now. Kate was reluctant at first, but once she felt Tony's fingers ghost over her lips before making their way to her chin once more, she turned to face him.
"I know this is hard for you, I know you're hurting but you're strong Kate. And so are the girls. I don't know if they understand death at 6...I doubt they do because nobody really understands it, but what six year olds do know is that there's a heaven. I'm not telling you how to raise your kids, but just tell them that that's where she's going. Tell them what they'd want to hear" Tony bit the inside of his lip, not really knowing if that was the best advice he could have given.
Kate looked up at Tony, her eyes filled to the brim with tears. Tears of sadness. Of fear. Of anger. Seeing Kate like this, so heartbroken and vulnerable broke his heart. It also broke his heart how often this side of Kate was coming out recently. Gently, he sweeped away a few stray strands of silky brown hair off her face before he placed a single kiss on Kate's forehead.
"You can do this, Kate. And if not, then I'll do it for you" Tony whispered as he rested his forehead against hers.
"I have to do this, Tony. They're my daughters. I just, I just need a few more minutes. They need to be happy for just a few more minutes" a tear rolled down Kate's cheek and landed on Tony.
He wanted nothing more than to just hold her and kiss away all her pain. Tony placed another sweet kiss on Kate's forehead.
"I'm here and i'm not going anywhere. If you need me to hold your hand through anything, I will. If you need a shoulder to cry on, mines here. If you need someone to hold you and tell you everythings going to be okay, I'll be there. If you need someone to rant to, my ears are open. If you need a sparring partner, I'll call McGee and cheer you on" Tony said with a childish smile which in turn got the same smile from Kate.
Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, Kate more or less composed herself. She moved her head from where it was resting on Tony's and wiped her face with her hand.
"Thank you" Kate said sincerely as she half smiled at Tony. "What are you doing here anyway?" Kate asked hoping to change the subject.
"I wanted to be here for you and the girls so I took my vacation time early"
"Tony-"
"-No, Kate. I understand if you don't want me there, like i'm intruding on family but I can't just sit idly knowing how much you're hurting. How much the girls are hurting. I'm not letting you go through this alone" Tony's tone was almost pleading with her.
"You don't have to, Tony"
"I know" Tony took Kate's hand in his own, absent-mindedly stroking her knuckles with his thumb. "But I want to"
Kate brought Tony's hand to her lips and pressed them softly against his knuckles, their gaze almost burning holes in the other. Tony's other hand cupped Kate's cheek. Kate's eyes moved to his hand that was caressing her cheek then moved them back to Tony's face. Neither of them could over come their want. Their urge.
Tony leaned over and pressed his lips against Kate's. He could taste her tears, a mixture of sweet and salty. He felt her press back against his, welcoming his kiss. It wasn't a deep, firey passionate kiss, it was a soft, comforting, caring kiss. Full of love. But it still meant everything to them. Their kiss was short lived. Just as Tony's tongue brushed across Kate's bottom lip, a loud crash from inside the house tore them apart as they rushed inside the house.
"Mama's going to be so mad at you!" Lilly said pointing at the mess on the floor.
"What happened?!" Kate came rushing into the living room praying to any God who would listen her girls weren't hurt.
"Ooohhh, you two are in troubleeeee" Tony said in a childish, sing-song voice as he eyed the shattered glass and marbles on the floor and two VERY guilty looking six year olds in front of the mess.
"We didn't mean to Mommy!" Amelia cried. "We just wanted to play with the marbles"
"I told you, they're not toys!" Kate huffed frustraedly. "But that's not important right now" Kate sighed again, bracing herself for what she was about to tell them. "You guys know Grandma is sick right?" Kate crouched down so she was eye-level with her mirror images.
"Yeaaaah" the girls responded.
"Well, she's got sicker and she's not going to get better"
"Why?"
"Sometimes people don't always get better. She's really sick and she's in the hospital" Kate could feel her cheeks getting hotter and hotter as her eyes began to fill with tears. "We're going to go and see her tomorrow. To say goodbye" Kate tried her hardest to hold back her tears.
"Why goodbye?" Amelia asked, her eyes mirroring her mothers.
"She's going to go to heaven" a tear rolled down Kate's cheek. "You guys know about heaven, right?"
"Uh huh"
"Well, that's where Grandma is going and we won't see her until we go to heaven ourselves"
"I don't want her to go!" Lilly cried.
"I don't want her to either, sweetie. But she has to" Kate wiped her daughters' cheeks with her thumb.
"Why?" Amelia cried.
"Because she's sick and she can't get better. But she's always going to be watching over us. She's going to be up in the sky watching over us and keeping us safe"
"Is she going to be with the stars?" Lilly sniffled.
"She's going to be the biggest, brightest star in the sky"
Kate wrapped her arms around her daughters' and pulled them tight into her chest. Their tears soaking through her shirt.
Tony watched the whole scene roll out, his heart breaking more and more at every word that Kate spoke, watching the twins' faces grow more and more sad and confused. He hated that this had to happen to them. Just when everything was starting to be good for the three of them, now their world was being ripped from under them and thrown in a blender. He was going to pick up every last piece of their word and be the glue that held it together. Kate picked up her still crying daughters and carried them to their bedroom and tucked them into bed. She stayed with them for a while, trying to comfort them. She needed someone to comfort her, to be there for her but right now she had to be strong for them. She waited until they had cried themselves to sleep before she exited their room. She walked back into her living room where Tony was in the middle of cleaning up the mess. Kate began to clean up the mess when she saw a giant pool of red circle around her on the floor. She looked down at her hand where a giant cut across her palm was gushing warm red liquid.
"Ow" Kate said almost in a trance. She couldn't feel the pain but she knew that it would hurt.
"Geez Kate!" Tony spat out his words as his eyes widened in shock. Without even thinking he yanked his t-shirt off and wrapped it around Kate's hand. "C'mon, let's go get this cleaned up" Tony smiled as he helped Kate up off the floor.
Still not saying anything, Kate slowly followed him into her kitchen.
"Here" Tony pointed towards the running tap as he held Kate's hand under the gushing water. He expected her to flinch in pain and was surprised when she didn't.
"You know you don't have to be brave. I know it hurts" Tony said worringly as he searched around for her first aid kit.
"It doesn't hurt" Kate replied, staring down at her hand.
"It doesn't?" Tony was completely shocked.
"No. You must be a good doctor" Kate smiled.
"Oh, i'm a very good doctor. My hands are magic" Tony shot Kate a dirty wink.
"Only you would know" Kate teased before she winced as the sudden throbbing in her hand became apparent.
"Sorry"
"Don't be. Its my fault. They've had their eyes on them ever since they got here. I've been meaning to move them, i've just been busy"
"It's nobody's fault, Kate. Now where's your first aid box?"
"In the bathroom cabinet"
Tony headed to Kate's bathroom where he rummaged around boxes of tampons, various creams and lotions that smelled heavenly, multiple types of tablets, and God knows what other women things until he found the green box with the white cross on the front. Box in hand he walked back into Kate's kitchen and placed the box on the counter and began to bandage Kate's hand, his eyes never leaving hers, hers never leaving his. Once Tony had finished with Kate's hand, he kissed the bandage and tidied up his mess. Kate had been in a stunned silence as she watched her shirtless friend work, she knew he was toned - he had to be in the job they did but still, she couldn't take her eyes away from his half naked physique.
"Well, I er, I'll come back in the morning" Tony said as he turned and headed for the door, his bloody t-shirt in one hand.
"Stay"