[Play the Pokemon Gym Theme]

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE FINALS OF THE 53rd ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL CHUUNIN EXAMS!"

Naruto listened to the Master of Ceremonies doing his spiel as he stood on the sidelines of the Konoha Stadium battlefield with the other finalists. To his left was a small copse of trees, to his right a small lake. The rest of the field consisted of flat grassland with a rock formation in one corner.

Looking at the other finalists, Naruto noticed idly that Sasuke wasn't among them. However, a quick application of the Zanchougan revealed the errant Uchiha sitting next to their teacher on one of the overhead support beams for the spotlights used during night events. Smirking at Sasuke's obvious intention to make a grand entrance, Naruto turned his attention back to the MC.

"FOR THE FIRST MATCH UP OF THE DAY: NARUTO UZUMAKI VS NEJI HYUUGA!"

A jounin with a backwards bandanna hitae-ate strode up to the eight finalists, chewing on a senbon needle all the while. "Alright, I'm Genma Shiranui, and I'll be the proctor and referee of the Chuunin exam finals."

Dosu frowned as he blurted out a question. "What happened to the sick guy?"

Genma chewed on his senbon. "He's currently indisposed. Anyways, would everyone but Uzumaki and Hyuuga please head to the competitors' box?"

Genma waited for the other finalists to clear the field before addressing Naruto and Neji. "Alright, here's the rules: Anything goes. You stop when I tell you to, or you're out. Any questions? No? Good. Hajime!"

Chopping at the air with one hand, Genma began the fight and jumped back. Neji sneered as he took in Naruto's wardrobe. "What on earth are you wearing? You look like an orange threw up on you."

Naruto grinned at the arrogant Hyuuga, his one-size-too large blindingly neon orange jumpsuit specifically chosen for its annoyance factor and the extra space (despite burning his orange jumpsuits, he hadn't the heart to destroy all of them). "What's the matter? Jealous of my secret weapon?"

Neji's sneer remained unchanged. "If that is your idea of a secret weapon, you truly are pathetic." He slid into a Jyuuken stance. "Fate has already declared me the winner. There is no fighting it."

Naruto snorted as he went into his own personal stance. "Yeah, I'll make my own destiny thanks."

"You are fated to lose, for you are as weak as my worthless main-branch cousin."

In the noble's box, Hinata shrunk into her oversized jacket in shame. Back down in the arena, Naruto stood with his fists clenched and head bowed, face obscured by his hair as Neji continued to speak. "You might as well give up; neither of you will ever amount to anything. And your dream? Hokage? Hah! You don't stand a chance."

Naruto didn't say a word. Neji smirked as he saw the younger boy shudder. "What's the matter? Can't handle the truth about you and my weak, pathetic cousin?"

Silently, Naruto reached up to his head and slowly untied his hitae-ate. Neji smirked smugly. "Giving up? You truly are weak, just like her."

Taking off his hitae-ate fully, Naruto retied it loosely around his neck. The stadium went deathly silent as Naruto slowly pulled a length of torn lavender cloth and tied it around his head. The audience, especially the nobles and clans, were struck dumb.

Hanabi Hyuuga, youngest daughter of clan head Hiashi Hyuuga, turned to her father. "Father, why did that boy do that? What does it mean?" He didn't respond. "Father?"

(-o-)

The Hyuuga elders stared at the Uzumaki brat and what he had done. During the era of the warring clans, it was custom for warriors to carry into battle a scrap of cloth or clothing belonging to a woman he wished to declare his devotions for. It had mostly fallen out of style save in the samurai armies of Tetsu no Kuni, the Iron Country.

However, Naruto had taken the old tradition one step further. Even before the hidden village system had been established, hitae-ates had been used by shinobi to declare their allegiance, be it to daimyo or to clan. By replacing his hitae-ate with the scrap of lavender fabric from her ruined sweater-jacket, Naruto had declared that he was fighting for Hinata's besmirched honor. Fortunately, Naruto had merely moved his hitae-ate. Removing it completely would have forced the Hokage to recognize a blood feud between the Uzumaki and Hyuuga clans.

(-o-)

Hiashi glowered half-heartedly at the boy. By declaring his defense of his eldest daughter's honor, he implied that Neji, and by extension the Hyuuga clan, had no honor should he win. Should he lose, the clan heiress would be ridiculed for having a weak champion. For a clan that put so much emphasis on appearances, it was a dire insult against their honor (Unfortunately, thanks to the elders' and their politicking and power-mongering, it was mostly true).

Neji seemed to recognize that as well. "You dare to insult the Hyuuga clan? I shall personally deliver you to your fate for that!"

Hinata clutched at her chest as squidgy feelings went through her and her face went bright red when she recognized what Naruto had done. 'He-he likes me.' She could only hide behind her hands and murmur to her crush. "Be careful."

(-o-)

Naruto looked up at Neji with glacial blue eyes. "You talk too much."

[Play Pokémon Gym Leader Battle Theme]

With a dual puff of smoke, Naruto unsealed his gauntlets and charged at Neji. Lunging, he took a swipe at Neji, only for the Hyuuga to lean to one side. Sneering, the white-eyed genin jabbed the blonde in the solar plexus with a chakra-laden Jyuuken strike. Sneering as the boy hit the ground, Neji turned to address the proctor, only to be stopped by a wheezy pop. Spinning on his heel, he witnessed the last of the smoke dissipate where the blonde had been lying.

A slow clapping filled the arena as Naruto stepped out from the copse of trees. "Congratulations, you killed a clone."

Neji sneered at the obnoxiously dressed blonde, the lavender headband clashing horribly with the neon orange jumpsuit. "Coward, hiding from your fate behind clones. Why don't you give up and accept that you're fated to fail?"

"Yeah, how 'bout I don't?" Naruto crossed his index and middle fingers. "Tajuu Kage Bunshin! (Mass Shadow Clones)" A veritable army of orange-clad Narutos filled the arena. Naruto uncrossed his arms and pointed at Neji. "Sic 'im!"

With a roar that shook the stadium, the orange army leaped into the air en mass. Snarling, Neji struck out, arms flailing in every direction as Narutos came into range. However, as he popped shadow clones left and right, the Hyuuga was also using the 360 degree vision his Byakugan gave him to search out the original Naruto. He spotted one that wasn't moving. "Got you!"

Popping a clone rather viciously, Neji shunshined in front of Naruto with the ever-present 'I'm-Better-Than-You' Hyuuga sneer on his face. "You are within range of my divination!"

Up in the Hyuuga clan box, Hiashi immediately recognized his nephew's stance and chakra flow. 'So, he has learned that technique, despite being in the branch clan. Truly he is a genius worthy of the name Hyuuga, if he pulls it off.'

Back in the arena, Neji's arms became blurs as he called out the name of his technique. "Hakke Rokujūyon Shō (Eight Trigrams 64 Palms)!
Two Palms!
Four Palms!
Eight Palms!
Sixteen Palms!
Thirty-Two Palms!
Sixty-Four Palms!"

With the final strike, Naruto was lifted off his feet and sent flying back, the remaining shadow clones dissipating in puffs of smoke. As Naruto crashed to the ground, Neji turned to Genma. "Call the match, Proctor, he won't be getting up."

A laugh made Neji turn around. Much to his (and the other Hyuuga's) shock, Naruto leapt back to his feet and began to stretch. "That was fun!"

"How?!" Neji glared at the stretching blonde. "How did you avoid the Eight Trigrams?"

Naruto smirked, holding up a shaky hand. "Oh, I didn't, not entirely. Skorupi! Acupressure!"

At Naruto's called-out command, a large, purple scorpion the size of a small dog (just slightly bigger than Akamaru) burst out of the dirt behind him and landed on his back. A few swift pokes and the shaking in Naruto's hand stopped. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at the purple bug-type. "Thanks Sasu. You can go home now, I don't intend on letting him do that again."

-No problem, man. Hey, you mind if I stay and watch? It's kind of boring back home.-

"Sure, no problem."

Neji sneered at Naruto as the scorpion summons (it was obviously too big to be a normal scorpion and too small to be from the forest of death) jumped off his back and scuttled over to and up the arena wall. "So you have the contract for scorpion summons. That still doesn't explain how you stopped my attack."

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. "Geez you're demanding." He gave a sly grin as he pulled out a gas-mask with attached hood. "But hey, if you want to know, who am I to deny your request?" Putting on the hood and mask, Naruto spoke a single command. "Acid."

The arena filled with shrieks of surprise and horror as the blonde's blindingly orange jumpsuit began to smoke and dissolve. It quickly burned away to reveal that the whisker-marked boy's torso was covered in a purple, oozing slime.

Neji wrinkled his nose in disgust at the stench that suddenly wafted off his opponent. "What is that?"

Naruto smiled cheekily behind his mask. "Wouldn't you like to know? Okay, Suinter, just like we practiced."

A pair of eyes opened in the middle of the slime, eliciting shrieks from the audience as several women (and a few men) fainted. –Oui, Monseiur. Give ze cur une raclée approfondie!-

Slowly the living ooze spread to cover Naruto in his entirety, leaving only the lenses and filters of the gas mask uncovered.

"Minimize!"

Suinter compacted, giving the previously blobby looking living suit a smooth, streamlined appearance.

"Harden!"

Suinter began to harden his body, creating a full suit of demonic-looking living armor. The only portions remaining flexible were at the joints. Naruto slowly cracked his neck once, twice. "Acid Armor complete. Let's dance!"

Clasping his hands into the ram seal, Naruto concentrated. "Den Kou Sekka (Quick Attack)!"

Disappearing in a purple blur, Naruto reappeared with his fist buried in Neji's gut before blurring out again. Doubling over, Neji coughed for air, straightening up just in time to receive an uppercut to the chin. Staggering back, Neji reactivated his Byakugan in time to see Naruto charging towards him at blinding speeds. Sneering at how predictable the blonde was being, Neji reached out to swat the speeding boy away.

Smirking, Naruto drew back a fist and gave a command. "Sludge Bomb!" Punching out with his fist, Naruto sent a glob of poisonous gunk at Neji's chest.

Both attacks collided with their targets. Unfortunately for Neji, while he was sent skidding back by a small explosion of slime, his attack only caused the gas-masked blonde to stagger back a few steps while the spot he had jabbed oozed purple pus. Glaring as the weeping wound on Naruto's armor sealed back up, Neji prepared his next attack.

Naruto had other ideas however. "Sludge Wave!" Twin torrents of purple goo came shooting out of Naruto's outstretched hands. Realizing he'd be unable to dodge, Neji abandoned his attack and performed his ultimate defense. "Hakkeshō Kaiten (Eight Trigrams Palm Rotation)!"

Spinning in place with his palms out, Neji projected a bubble of spinning chakra. The sludge wave attack impacted on the spinning shield, spraying glop everywhere. Fortunately for the audience, they were protected by several sealing barriers separating them from the arena.

Dropping his shield and coming to a halt, Neji grimaced, clutching his chest at a sudden pain. "I see the poison's kicking in." Neji looked up to see his opponent staring at him through the polarized lenses of the gas-mask. He pointed with a thumb at the eyes on top of his head. "Don't be surprised, Suinter's practically made of poison. Just look at those trees over there."

Neji glanced over at the copse of trees while keeping his Byakugan focused on Naruto. To his and everyone else in the arena's shock, the trees were rotting away wherever they had been hit by the purple sludge. He turned his attention back to Naruto. "As you can see, I've got this in the bag."

Neji sunk to one knee as he glared impotently at the slime-covered blonde. "How? How could a weakling like her ever beat me? Beat fate?"

Naruto paused. "Wow, you really don't like your cousin, do you?"

"She's the pampered heiress of the main branch, while I am a slave!"

Naruto tilted his head to one side. "I highly doubt that's the case because slavery has been illegal for quite some time."

Neji tore off his hitae-ate, revealing a pulsating, glowing green seal on his forehead. "Just like every other member of the branch house, I am marked by this, the Caged Bird Seal! The main house uses it as punishment, sending pain into our brains with a single hand sign. They use it to make us do anything they please, even sacrificing my father's life for his brother in the main branch!"

(-o-)

Up in the Hyuuga's box, Hiashi grimaced as he remembered that dark day. A representative from Kumogakure, ostensibly there in Konoha to work out a treaty, had kidnapped his daughter for their bloodline. In his rage, he had killed the Kumo representative, and Kumo had demanded his body if they wanted to avoid war. While he had fully intended to give himself up, Hisashi, his twin brother and Neji's father, had knocked him out and taken his place, leaving him a letter for his son.

Hiashi clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. It was passed due for him to deliver the boy his father's final words.

(-o-)

Naruto pulled off his hood and mask as Suinter sloughed off him, leaving him surprisingly clean and stench-free. "Dude, that's rough."

Neji snarled at him. "Don't you dare to patronize me! You don't know what it's like to have your fate marked on your body!"

Naruto's eyes went flat and cold. He stepped forward to lean in towards Neji's ear as the Hyuuga's vision started to blur. "Ask your uncle about me. Tell him declaration 1010-NU-K9 is no longer in effect."

Naruto turned away as Neji passed out and Genma declared him the winner. He walked over to where Suinter had congealed and addressed the muk. "Hey Suinter, thanks for the help."

Suinter gave a bow. –It was pas un problem, mon ami. Now if you do not mind, I am going to go sample the local cuisine. It is just so difficult to find good ordures these days, no?-

Naruto chuckled. "If you say so. Hey, if anyone gives you too much trouble, just head over to Ichiraku's Ramen stand and let them know that I sent you. They shouldn't mind you going through their dumpsters."

The muk grinned as he embraced the blonde. –Ah, I knew there was un raison I like you, mon ami. Au revoir!-

Naruto smiled as he watched the muk slither off before heading up to the competitors' box.

(-o-)

In the Kage Box, Hiruzen turned to his counterpart from Sunagakure. "Well, Lord Kazekage, what do you think of our genin so far?"

The Kazekage watched the medics take the Hyuuga boy off the field, his face hidden by a veil. "While they both impressed me, the Hyuuga needs to work on not underestimating his opponents just because they're not Hyuugas. Also, the blonde intrigued me. I would have thought that he had the scorpion contract until he revealed the living cesspool."

Hiruzen nodded. "I agree. As for Naruto, he is the contract holder for the Pokémon clans."

The Kazekage looked at Naruto hungrily. "The Pokémon clans, you say? I can't say I've ever heard of them before."

Hiruzen chuckled. "I'm not surprised. They've never let anyone sign their contract before."

"I see." The Kazekage made a show of looking at the competitors' box. "Where is the boy who is to fight my son? The Uchiha? I do hope he doesn't skip out on his match, Gaara has been known to get…violent when denied his fights."

"Oh, he's around."

(-o-)

Naruto arrived at the competitor's box, and after explaining why he was clean and didn't smell like a landfill (Seals. Ain't they great?), decided to take a nap. "Hey, somebody wake me up once Sasuke's up."

Upon closing his eyes, Naruto drifted off, the sounds of the arena barely registering as he entered semi-consciousness.

(-o-)

"SHINO ABURAME VS KANKUROU OF THE DESERT!"

"Proctor, I forfeit!"

"Ookay…Winner, Shino Aburame."

(-o-)

"SHIKAMARU NARA VS TEMARI OF THE DESERT!"

"Troublesome."

"Hold still you!"

"Shadow possession complete."

"You bastard, let me go!"

"You know, it's just too troublesome to continue. Proctor, I forfeit."

"What!?"

"Winner, Temari of the Desert!"

(-o-)

"SASUKE UCHIHA VS GAARA OF THE DESERT!"

Naruto cracked open his eyes and stretched, sitting up in time to catch Sasuke's grand entrance. Shaking his head at his teammate's dramatic theatrics, he looked down to see Sasu perched on his lap. "Hey Sasu, What'd I miss?"

The Skorupi glanced up then turned his attention back to the arena. –Well, first, the puppet guy gave up instead of fighting the guy with the bug-types, and then the lazy dark-type guy went up against the flying-type girl. She blew him around a bit until he caught her with his shadow.-

"So Shikamaru won?"

-No, he gave up, saying it was too troublesome to keep going.-

Naruto facepalmed. "Yeah, that sounds like Shika, alright."

"Excuse me, Naruto?"

Naruto turned to his left to see Shino staring at him. "Oh hey Shino, what's up?"

Shino adjusted his sunglasses. "I was curious as to how you were conversing with the rather large venomous arthropod situated on your lower extremities when our aural processes only register hearing variations of its species' title."

Naruto and Sasu stared blankly at the Aburame. "Huh?/Skor?"

Shino gave a deep sigh. "How do you talk to the scorpion on your lap when all we hear is it saying its name?"

"Oooh!" Naruto leaned in and whispered cheekily, "it's a secret."

The stoic Aburame nodded. "I understand. I will not inquire again."

Before Naruto could tell Shino that he was joking, a blood-curdling shriek of surprise and pain filled the stadium.

"BLOOD! IT'S MY BLOOD!"

As glowing, ethereal feathers began to float down into the arena, an explosion filled the Kage box with smoke.

AN: Hey folks, it's me again! I nearly didn't finish this chapter so soon, but I was working on research for a term paper and needed a break. I also took one of the plot bunnies under my bed and let it free on the internet called, "Raised by the Leaves." Check it out. It needs love and reviews.

Now, question time!

Pinkus-Pyon: Thank you for your review. Afortunadamente, sin embargoyo no habloespañol, yo tengoel traductor de google.

Pokedrago: Dude, he's Mewtwo. He don't need no spoon. Also, I've unfortunately never read the manga.

Eltigre221: Sorry, no heart damage equals no medic.

Ninuhuju: Maybe…

Ultima-Owner: I assume it would be the same as if you used mace on 'em.

Potterformers: Yeah, who is that guy you mentioned?

Zenko: Yeah, I took my inspiration from it. I'd have cited it, but I can't remember for the life of me where I found it or what it was called.

Foxchick1: Wait and see…