A/N: Okey, trying a different format. See if this works better. I don't own YYH or 'Sorrow' by Flyleaf. I do, however, love them both. :)
13. Chasm
Raize bolted awake, then instantly regretted it, twisting her face into a grimace. It was dark and her whole body ached, proof that the fights with the other eight were real – at least on some level. She scrubbed hastily at her eyes and glanced at the clock. The eerie, glowing blue numbers read 23:54, six minutes before midnight and her first shift at the 24-hour ramen shop downtown.
"Crap!" She hissed, leaping up and staggering to the bathroom to wash her face. Before she made it there, though, dizziness hit her right in the nose and she sank to the floor, watching colored stars dance before her eyes. "Damn fights. Damn oversleeping. Damn night shifts and psychotic freaks and achy old grandma bones. Damn, damn, damn," she grumbled, blinking away the stars before shoving herself to her feet again.
"Calm down, cretin. You're off work today."
Raize froze for an instant, back ramrod straight, mouth dropping open. Then recognition of the sleepy, slightly annoyed voice brought her fully awake and she whirled around, bracing herself against another shock of dizzying stars. "That's the second time I've woken up to you," she muttered, folding her arms. "So what's this about me not working today?"
"It's Sunday. Your work schedule's on your wall."
"Oh. Wait, then that means –"
"You've been in a coma for a week."
"Ooohh... not good," she groaned. "That means I've got some explaining to do for my boss..."
"Kurama wrote you a doctor's note that should take care of it. It would be in your best interest to thank him the next time you see him." That wasn't a threat, but it was somewhere close.
"Uh, yeah." Raize blinked. These guys are either nicer than I gave them credit for, or they're playing an angle. Or something. "So, um... what're you doing here?"
"You almost froze to death yesterday. And apparently I'm a 'walking space heater'."
"That's the truth," she snickered, then lapsed into an uneasy silence, surveying the walls like she was seeing them for the first time. "Hey, Hiei? Um... you okay?"
He rolled over to face her and propped himself up on his elbow. "What?" His eyes narrowed and his eyebrows scrunched down, but he didn't look hostile – not yet. Just confused, and maybe a little surprised.
"Are you okay? You've been here all night, haven't you? Not to mention yesterday when... when... ugh. You know." Her eyes didn't hold his for long, skittering away to stare at the walls again.
The concern in her voice caught him almost off-guard and he blinked, frowning. "I'm fine," he replied after a heavy silence. "Tired."
Raize let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding, then grinned wryly. "The vengeful bitch known as insomnia takes its toll, huh?"
"Hn." He rolled over to face the window again, a smirk on his face. Her description of insomnia was the truth.
"Hey."
"Hey what."
"Can you turn back over?"
"Why?"
"Pleeeeeease?"
"Not if you won't tell me why."
She flitted to her nightstand and perched on top of it next to her clock, hugging her knees to her chest. "Because you're easier to read if I can see your face. Most particularly your eyes."
"Oh?"
"Pleeeeease?" She rocked back and forth uncomfortably.
He rolled his eyes and flipped back onto his other side, glaring at her. "Happy now?"
"Sorry. Without seeing your eyes, you're nearly impossible to read... and it unsettles me," she mumbled shyly.
"Why?"
She tilted her head, squeezing one eye half-closed and raising the opposite eyebrow in a look that spelled 'dementia' from any angle. "Well look who's full of questions now, huh?"
The fire in his glare intensified by a few degrees.
Her hands flew into the air in a gesture of surrender. "Okay, okay, calm down. I'm just used to being able to protect myself by reading people, that's all. If I can get deep enough, I can see past their everyday front. If I see something dangerous, then I adapt. If that means fighting or disappearing, it gives me a way to prepare for either one. That's how I disappeared last time, and how I ended up with a job, a place to stay, and a few extras thrown in. It's just... very detailed observation – sometimes a situation calls for a lot of detail, sometimes it doesn't. Take Kurama for example – we walked for almost a mile before I even had a vague outline of what I needed to know. He's so calm and collected and in control of himself that it's scary. Almost like he makes himself invisible on purpose, to keep all the cards in his hand. I'm still not sure where I stand with him. Same thing is true for you, but... for a different reason," she murmured. Her eyes had wandered to the dark window, no longer seeing, but open all the same.
Then suddenly she pulled herself back, snapping out of the near-trance she'd fallen into. A grin flashed over her face. "Now to the good stuff, huh? I'm no fortune teller, but I know where you've been isn't somewhere over the rainbow. The way your past affected you gave you the attitude everyone has to deal with now. Cold, simple logic and a scathing sense of humor are your best weapons – far scarier than that damn sword, actually. I'm assuming your words keep people at such a distance because the space gives you room to feed your own addiction... am I right?"
He gave her a 'yeah, sure' look. "So now I'm an addict, am I?"
"Not to anything physical, smart ass." She shoved her chin into the palm of her hand, curling her knuckles against her still-bruised mouth as she squinted at his face. After two and a half minutes of an intense staring contest, her face brightened. "Aha! I was right. You're addicted to freedom, my fire-breathing friend. Well that makes sense, doesn't it? You're always looking for an escape route when you walk into a room in case you need to kill somebody and run, and you never say goodbye when you leave – that's like asking for permission to go. You don't work well with people, and let's face it, being in here for thirty some-odd hours is giving you cabin fever, no matter how tired you are."
"I'm fine," he retorted. "I don't have 'cabin fever'."
"The hell you don't, spiky. You're grumpier than usual and your eyes are bloodshot. Not that it's easy to tell, with eyes like yours. And I figure if I can tell your eyes are bloodshot, that's not a good sign. Wanna go take a walk or something?"
"I can't leave," he grumbled, rolling back over. "'Doctor's orders'."
Raize laughed at the air quotes he made. "I can always tell the doc I kicked you out."
"Not that he'd believe you."
"Oh really? I can be pretty convincing if I wanna be."
"I'm sure."
"See! There you go again. I can't see your face, so I can't tell if you thought that was funny or if it pissed you off."
"Are you deaf? Maybe you can't quite wrap your brain around it, but people usually hear emotion as well as see it."
Raize folded her legs into a butterfly stretch, grin widening until it stretched all the way across her face. "Well yeah, but with you, 'amused' and 'this is the part where you run away screaming' don't sound much different - urf!" She wasn't quite quick enough to dodge the fist that connected with her stomach, though, and ended up tumbling backwards off her nightstand, head over heels, to land upside down with one knee smushing her nose and the other on the ground beside her ear. "See!" She squeaked from the floor, laughing like she'd just inhaled helium. "See! Cabin fever! What'd I tell ya!"
"For someone that's just undergone a week-long coma, mental trauma, partial hypothermia, and several fights that may or may not have been real but left marks anyway, you are the most annoyingly cheerful person I have ever met."
"Oh yeah, I'm a total optimist," she snorted, rolling her eyes as best she could. "Hey, can you help me up? Jo twisted my back when I fought her and I feel like I'll permanently damage something if I try to move. Ow."
"And that doesn't bother you? Thinking about killing them?" Hiei rolled all the way to the other side of the bed and stared down at her with a look on his face that might've been similar to 'morbidly fascinated'.
"Ehhm... Tryin' not to think about it, actually," she replied, peering up at him from the corner of her eye. "Trying to distance myself from the mess of emotions behind it. 'Course that's a recipe for disaster, but at least I can try, right?"
Hiei reached over and flipped her onto her side with one hand, then sat up and swung his feet to the floor, leaning his elbows on his knees and propping his chin in his palm. "You're right, for once. You won't be able to get away from it."
Raize swallowed another smart comment when she heard how quiet his voice was. She examined his face cautiously, afraid of breaking the vulnerable silence that had unexpectedly fallen between them.
His eyes were lightyears away, downcast and thoughtful. The leashed fury that had burned inside him was gone, replaced by a darker, subtler emotion, something that Raize might have called regret, had she been trying to put a name to it.
The tiny youkai bit her lip, trying to decide whether to hug him or not. He'd prolly push you away, like always, muttered the melancholy raincloud on her left shoulder. But he looks so sad... Replied the sweet, rosy cherub on her right shoulder. Back and forth she argued with herself, until finally the cherub got tired of the raincloud's dismal comebacks and smacked it out the window with a baseball bat that had 'WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?' written on it in thick black sharpie.
Then the raincloud flew back in and poured acid on the cherub's head, farting tiny claps of thunder angrily.
Screw you both, Raize grumbled. She sat up, stretching, then rose to her feet, ignoring the creaking of her achy joints.
Hiei jumped like he'd been shocked when she moved, head snapping up suddenly.
Raize brushed her knuckles over the side of his face gently, pulling back before he could swat her hand away. "Take it easy, love," she smiled. "You've gone almost three days without coffee; I'm just gonna go make some. You drink it black, right?"
He considered glaring at her, but really, she didn't deserve it. She hadn't asked any questions, only left him to his reverie, and even when he snapped out of it, there was no unnecessary interrogation or bleeding-heart sob stories waiting for him. She'd just... let the event be what it was, and allowed it to end when the moment died. That was something different. So, instead of glaring at her or conjuring up a sneer and a snide remark, he just nodded, a little awkwardly, and let her walk away.
Raize danced into the kitchen quietly, humming to herself. That was weird... hope I did the right thing, she thought. Her mental voice was a whisper, like she was afraid of being heard, although the rational part of her brain doubted anyone was listening. And he's right. I said I'd try to forget, to distance myself, but it won't be that easy. A frown scrunched her eyebrows together as she ran water into a kettle and set it on the stove. After the snap of the spark lighting the burner had faded into the still air, she folded herself onto the floor under the window and closed her eyes to wait.
A dead girl waited behind her eyelids. Raize! What's wrong with you?
Raize's head snapped sideways. It's not me! She called to the specter. It's not me, it's Aidan! Get away, Jo! Please, get away!
Leave her be, Aidan! She doesn't belong to you anymore!
Stop... holding... me. Raize saw herself tear into Jo's side with her teeth, heard the other girl scream. I can't make myself stop... damn. So weak. So weak and pathetic and useless. The surreal, echoing hiss of the last 's' was the precursor to another scream, this time loud enough to wrench Raize back out of the shadows. She opened her eyes slowly, bringing her racing heart back to rest.
The tea kettle screamed again, whistling high and sharp through the quiet of her apartment.
She groaned and pulled herself to her feet, stumbling over to the stove to turn the burner off. Yup, Hiei was definitely right. Never gonna get a moment's peace, am I? Is this gonna happen every time I close my eyes? ... Better make a second cup of coffee then... Her face slipped into a dark, brooding expression as she busied herself with the coffee, and she didn't notice at first when a shadow ghosted down the hall toward the kitchen, wandering almost aimlessly across the floor.
"You drew all over the walls out here, too."
Raize jumped and nearly splashed hot water right into her face. "Geez, you're quiet," she muttered. "If I tell you why they're there, do you promise not to call me an idiot?"
"That depends on your reason." Hiei sat on the windowsill and pressed his back to the frame, turning sideways so he could keep one eye on Raize and the other outside.
"It was right before I went out and found Ramah's grave by accident, I think. After that insane party."
"Don't remind me."
She grinned. "Guess that means you remember. After you guys left, I was in my room and it felt like someone was right outside with their ear against the door, listening to me. Normally I would've just thrown open the door and kicked their ass for being a creeper, but I couldn't make myself do it. Then things got weird - a few seconds later I got this freaky shivery feeling from my head to my toes, and then a completely random thought popped into my head, like someone had put it there instead of letting me think it on my own. It said 'someone's listening to you breathe. They're counting every breath you take, until.' And that's where it stopped, and there was absolute, dead silence. By then I was pretty damn mad at whoever was messing with my head, so naturally, to spite the whole horror flick atmosphere, I threw the door open and sang 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' in my best impression of an opera singer on helium." Her grin turned impossibly more crooked and mischievous. "I guess that scared whatever it was away."
"Why am I not surprised?" Hiei shook his head as a smirk tugged at his mouth.
"'Cause this is me, and I'm a weirdo? In any case, no matter how much I tried to take my mind off it, I kept looking over my shoulder at the hallway because it didn't feel safe. So finally I got fed up with myself for being such a coward, and broke out the sharpie minions. Those symbols aren't wards, per say... well, at least not in the conventional sense. But they're all sturdy and reassuring, and they made me feel safe - temporarily, at least. Most of them are trees or doves or defensive runes that Ramah taught me."
"Is that how you ended up in a coma to start with?"
Raize handed him steaming black coffee in a chipped mug that said 'you're just jealous 'cause I'm the hot one' in red block letters across a faded pink background, then sat down at the table next to him with her own. "What, by drawing the runes? No, although I guess it wouldn't have surprised me if that had been the case... I wandered out into the woods when being in here got to be too suffocating. What I didn't know is that Ramah's grave is out there. I tripped over it, the atmosphere got creepy, these weird shadows started pulling me down, and bang - I'm back at the volcano with the other eight, who have apparently been pulled out from the underworld right out from under the brat's snotty nose. And that could not have been Aidan's work by any stretch of the imagination, because he has neither the brains nor the brawn to do it. Which is by far the scariest idea I've ever thought of, because now look where we stand - not only do we have a demented freak of a stalker on the loose, we also have an evil mastermind behind the demented stalker and a ticking time bomb disguised as a slightly insane midget that could go haywire at any minute. I mean I've been speaking Gaeilge for crying out loud, and I don't even know what country that's from!" Raize sighed and deflated somewhat, tired from the rant.
"So you do know what language you've been speaking?"
"Don't ask me how, but… yeah. Before the coma, I'd only ever heard it spoken once, and now I could prolly translate a whole dictionary into it without even thinking."
"That's interesting." Hiei turned his head toward her, a thoughtful frown on his face. If Raize didn't know better, she would've sworn she heard gears clicking in his brain. As it was, she blamed the coffee for making her jittery.
"'Interesting', my butt. It's scary is what it is. If someone can put a whole language inside my head without me being able to do anything about it, what else do you think they're capable of?"
"Hmm... complete and total control of your brain?" Mischief pulled the edge of his mouth into another, wider smirk and narrowed his eyes into catlike slits.
Raize snorted. "Smart ass. That was a rhetorical question."
"It's the coffee," he murmured, yawning.
"Yeah, uh-huh. Sure." She rolled her eyes, but a traitorous grin spread across her face before she could stop it, and then she was snickering like it was the funniest thing in the world. "Coffee and insomnia. No wonder there's something wrong with us." Then she went quiet and somber, staring into her coffee like she was trying to read the future. "Hey... you ever suppose this is all a dream? Are we gonna wake up from it? If we do, what would we wake up to?"
"Something worse than this, I'm sure," Hiei retorted. "No, this is reality. You're not that far gone yet."
"How can you be sure, Mr. Grumpy?"
"I'm sure." He didn't offer any explanation.
"How?" Raize repeated.
He reached over and smacked the side of her head with one open hand. "That's how."
"Ow."
"You're welcome."
She chewed her lip pensively, scooting back in her chair and tucking her knees to her chest. "I never got around to thanking you for pulling me out of dream hell," she murmured softly. "If you didn't wanna do it, no one could've made you. I can't even guess at your reasoning anymore, but you've stuck your neck out for me several times now, and I've barely even noticed, and now it's eating at me."
"Oh really? Has it bitten the chip off your shoulder yet?"
"You're one to talk."
"Kurama had to convince me to stay, woman. Don't go thanking me just yet."
"But my point is that he couldn't have done anything about it if you'd refused."
"He could've dragged me back by my ears," the fire youkai muttered to himself.
Raize burst out laughing. "No. Kurama? Really?"
"It's happened before, believe me..." The death glare that darkened his eyes was not directed at her for once, and it made her relax a little. Less glaring was a step in the right direction – especially when his glares tended to have the intensity of a high-frequency laser.
"When?"
Hiei sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Ask him; he'll be glad to tell you all about it."
Three seconds later, there was a knock at the door. Then an instant of silence, an explosive sneeze, and another knock.
Raize got up and answered the door, jumping three feet in the air when Kurama sneezed again. She slapped both hands over her heart dramatically, pretending to fall backwards in a theatric faint. "Geez, man! Heart failure!"
"Someone seems to be talking about me," he answered calmly.
Raize grinned and stepped back to let him in. "Guilty as charged, love. Want some tea? I just made coffee for Mister Grumpy."
"If it's not too much trouble, tea sounds nice."
She nodded and put the kettle back on the stove after refilling it, then danced back to the table and spun into her chair with a sigh. Her knee and ankle popped as she folded one leg in and reached out with the other, pushing a chair toward Kurama with only her big toe. "So, to what do we owe this visit, oh mighty Youko, King of Thieves?"
"I've been checking up on you every now and then, just to see if there are any lasting effects from your coma. In all honesty, I was expecting Hiei to answer the door. I didn't think you'd be awake, despite your nocturnal tendencies."
"Well, doesn't look like I'm gonna keel over any time soon, if that's what you're concerned about," Raize mused. "Got a few bruises from the other eight and Aidan, but it's nothing that won't heal. On the non-physical side… I can suddenly speak something called Gaeilge. I don't know what country it's from, and I think… I think there's only been one other time, besides my coma, when I've heard it spoken, and that was when Aidan branded me."
"Gaeilge, hmm?" Kurama sounded suddenly distracted, staring off out the window from narrowed eyes.
Raize pushed her chair back and hop-skipped over to the stove when the kettle started whistling again. "Earl Grey, Cinnamon Apple Spice, or Chai?"
"Chai, please," he murmured, tapping his fingertips against the table in a slow, even cadence.
Raize fished a rubber band out of her pocket and shot it at his head after she'd set the timer for the tea.
Kurama caught the missile before it clipped his ear and turned to look at her, blinking thoughtfully.
Raize put her hands on her hips. "Earth to fox boy. If you're not gonna tell me what you obviously know about my foreign language weirdness, I'll be happy to write a horrible, sappy fanfiction about you and mass-publish it until it infects all three worlds and leaves you with nowhere left to hide," she said brightly with a shamelessly maniacal grin.
Kurama's eyebrows shot up. "I think you just broke the fourth wall."
Raize folded her arms. "Hey. I'm a completely illogical character. I think I'm allowed."
Hiei choked on his coffee trying to hide a snicker and sat there coughing for five minutes.
Kurama chuckled and shook his head. "I guess that's true. You certainly have a way with threats, don't you?"
"It's one of my many creative outlets. I've been known to carry them out, too," she replied mischievously, casting him a wink before shutting the beeping timer off and serving him his tea with a graceful, dramatic bow. "Your tea, my red-headed friend." Once she was settled back into her chair, she turned semi-serious. "So what's this crap about me speaking Gaeilge all of a sudden?"
"Well, before you decided to shoot a rubber band at me, I was putting together a theory based on some research I did earlier. Apparently in times past, when slaves were branded, there was a 'trigger language' that was spoken throughout the branding process. It was infused with the master's energy, and could only be used by the master, or someone with a similar energy signature, if the process wasn't done exactly right. That's what I suspect happened when Aidan branded you – except he only recently decided to use your trigger language on you, when most masters used it on a daily basis so their slaves could not resist them. After such a long time, it would be rusty, so to speak, and you would be less affected."
Raize digested his words carefully, a small crease forming between her eyebrows as she thought. "Okay. So why would Aidan just now decide to use it on me? What did you mean when you said something about someone with a similar energy?"
Fox, I need to leave. Her drawings are jumping off the walls at me, Hiei hissed, poking his friend's consciousness urgently.
Kurama gave him the slightest nod. I understand. Thank you for staying.
Hn. The fire youkai stood silently and disappeared out the door, shutting it gently behind him.
"Uh. Did you just tell him to leave or something? Was it something I said?" Raize squeaked, uncomfortably confused.
He smiled reassuringly and shook his head. "No, he just needed some air, that's all. Good timing, actually, because although he may have figured it out already, I didn't want to answer your second question while he was listening, just in case."
"In case what?" Raize pulled her knees to her chest and set her chin on them, eyeing him suspiciously.
The redhead sighed. "I did say if the process was not done exactly the way it was meant, then the master would not be the only one that could use the slave's trigger language. From the way the situation has played out thus far, I'm afraid that seems to be the case with you. And since Aidan is a fire youkai, well… if what we've inferred is true, that means Hiei will be able to control you as well."
As soon as Raize picked her head up from her knees to listen more intently to what he was saying, her jaw dropped. "Oh. Oh, HELL no."
"Unfortunately, yes. Despite his unwillingness to admit it, Hiei's energy does bear some resemblance to Aidan's. Dark, often instinct driven, naturally aggressive… all the same traits, if what I've read from him is correct. Of course, Aidan seems to be the weaker of the two, so if it came down to a battle between his and Hiei's command, Hiei would win. Although I suppose that's little comfort to you," the fox grinned behind his teacup.
Raize crossed her arms. "That's not funny, fox boy."
"Maybe I should remind you that I'm quite a few years older than you are?" His grin curled into a smug smile as the pleasant question hung in the air between them.
She snorted derisively. "Sure, grandpa."
"You're getting better."
"Au contraire, love. It's the pain that makes me like this," she retorted theatrically.
"I didn't know you were a poet."
"Nah, that's not quite right anyway. How about satirist?"
"Satanist would be the more accurate description."
"Oh, that was low."
"Really? I thought it was just at your level."
"Ouch! Geez, why's it so cold in here?" Raize laughed as she leaped onto the windowsill and stood, leaning into the glass.
"Diverting your attention from the apparently disturbing idea of Hiei using your trigger language seems to have worked, if I've managed to get that far under your skin," he answered wryly.
She glared at him out of the strange, dark eyes that had settled behind her cheeky façade after her coma. "I'll kill him if he tries. I'll kill him if he even comes close. I won't let anyone do that to me ever again and that's that."
"You may not have a choice."
A hiss breathed from between her teeth like the edge of a knife, surgically precise. "I will always have a choice. If that means killing myself, then so be it."
He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, tilting his head to one side. "Your dark side manifests at the most unlikely times, you know that?"
She froze for a second, and then a grin flashed across her face and lit up her eyes again, banishing the shadows that had threatened him just a second before. "Yup. Unfortunately, I'm still a pretty unstable person and that coma did nothing to help it... not sure if that'll ever change, actually."
"It's your personality, thus it's your choice," Kurama countered, blinking placidly at her. "You said so yourself."
"All hail the guru of psychology! So what if I don't know how to change it? It's not like anyone ever taught me, and really... I'm not smart enough to figure it out on my own." She folded down into a butterfly stretch on the windowsill, shoulders pulled in, avoiding his eyes.
"I've upset you."
She frowned. "Yeah, so? I kinda deserved it. I contradicted myself and you called me on it. So really I don't have the right to be upset, y'know?"
Kurama was quiet for what seemed like forever, sitting up straight and still, a mildly surprised look on his calm face. "You do realize what you just said, right?"
Raize shifted around and pulled one knee to her chest, resting her chin on it and folding her arms. "Uh, yeah. And?"
He laughed softly. "I guess you do have your lucid moments, every so often."
She snorted. "They're few and far between."
"Hmm, maybe and maybe not. I think you're too hard on yourself sometimes."
"In your words, fox boy, 'maybe and maybe not'. You know why nobody wanted me? I know you've read my file, so you know I've been adopted several times, but do you know why I couldn't just stick with a family and be happy? 'Cause I was too damn busy running from my own life. I didn't want their love even if they were willing to give it to me. I was an ungrateful little brat and oh hell, did I ever act like one. Nine families, Kurama – I ruined the lives of nine families because I didn't want them. I wanted my parents and no one else, and I ran away when the slightest little thing went wrong. That's what got me into so much trouble." Her mouth curled into a bitterly sad smile. "Now you tell me if I've been lucid all this time. Have I been in my right mind, or should I just give up and accept the fact that I really am batshit crazy?"
Kurama stood with a sigh that almost sounded defeated, reaching over and ruffling her hair gently. "First of all, you were a child, Raize. Of course you wanted your parents. Perhaps for that, you're not entirely at fault. As for being crazy... chances are you're very much sane if you even consider the possibility of being insane. Think about it, all right? I've got to get back home before I'm missed."
Raize twisted her face up into a skeptical expression. "Who's up at four in the morning?"
"My mother, if she finds out I'm gone. She seems to know when I leave, no matter if I tell her or not. Promise me you won't do anything drastic?"
"Not while you're looking, I won't," she winked, holding the door open for him. "While you're gone? I can't swear to anything."
He laughed again. "I guess that's the best I can hope for, then."
She listened for the sound of his footsteps, barely there against the stairs that led to the ground floor of her apartment complex, then danced down the hall and into her room. She flopped onto her bed and stuffed her nose into her pillow, closing her eyes.
The scent of hot metal and woodsmoke smacked her in the face irreverently. There was something subtler there, too, like the sky at midnight, dark and wild and free. All together, he smelled alive. Not just existing. Alive. There was no other word she would think of to describe it.
Why did you stay, Hiei? She mused, curling on her side when she couldn't breathe against the pillow anymore. What's your motive? Is it just Kurama's persuasion, or is there something you want? You still gonna kick my ass? Who are you now? Have you changed, or are you just wearing another mask? "Nyeh," she grumbled. "Too many questions. I'm alive and I'll go from there." Then she leaped to her feet and stuck her earbuds in her ears, plugging her iPod in and turning it up until she couldn't hear her own voice.
"Sometimes life seems too quiet
Into paralyzing silence
Like the moonless dark
Meant to make me strong
Familiar breath of my old lies...
Change the color in my eyes.
Soon he will perforate the fabric of the peaceful by and by..."
The song was at the very edge of her range, but she didn't mind reaching for it anyway, closing her eyes and flinging out her arms. The momentum of the motion carried her in a circle, beginning to end and back again.
"Sorrow lasts
Through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole...
As you flew right through me..."
Her toes scraped across the floor, dragging, reminding her she was there, reminding her she was all right. She knew it wasn't over. It was just the beginning; of course it was. But...
Somehow the thought didn't scare her anymore.
….
The REAL A/N!
So. Gaeilge. Hmmmm. Now you know what language she's speaking! Woot woot!
And yeah, this chapter is A LOT OF DIALOGUE. Le gasp! Next chapter's gonna be all action. ;) Not THAT kind of action! Geez... don't lie to me, you were thinkin' it...
Raize is still edgy and weird, and Kurama and Hiei are still doing their best to not wring her neck... I think they're doing a damn good job thus far, cause I know I prolly wouldn't put up with me if I acted the way she does. Wait...
Okay, Yusuke and Kuwabara have been MIA lately. They'll come back, don't worry. They will come back to rescue Hiei and Kurama from Raize the demon child so they don't kill her.
Nyeh. Anywho, I went back and read the first part of this fic. And nearly fainted. I wanted to DIE because now I think it sucks. But I'm leaving it up because it shows how far I've come. Or at least I think it does. -.-U I dunno; I hope I get better than I am and I'm open to any tips, but some days it's just like... dude... I suck. And I sit there and laugh at myself because I think it's morbidly funny that I'm saying that and still posting crap. Strangeling child is me. :P
Go listen to Sorrow. Better yet, watch the official music video. It'll get stuck in your head and bug you for weeks. :] Uh huh uh huh.
And... I guess that's about it. Thanks for sitting through another chapter! ^.^