Chapter Fourteen: Jerks

Luna stared at the Gary Stu. She couldn't believe it; how could the person she was talking to be her former boyfriend, Percy Jackson? Wasn't he dead like Nicole said?

Just to make sure the person in front of her wasn't joking, Luna said again, "No, seriously. What's your name?"

The Stu in front of her gave her a puzzled expression as he repeated in a solemn voice, "I just told you; my name is Percy Jackson."

Luna scanned his face for deception. The Stu in front of her was either crazy or a great liar. It looked as if she had to use her powers to figure out the truth.

The Sue stared into the Stu's eyes and used her Mary Sue power of deducing names to figure out the Stu's name. After five seconds, the Stu's name finally popped into her head. To the Sue's surprise, it was "Perseus Jackson".

Luna pondered for a bit and concluded in her head that maybe the guy in front of her was just a Stu that happened to have the same name as Percy. Still, how would she know for sure?

The light-bulb lit up in Luna's head instantly. She quickly said to 'Percy', "This might be awkward for you, but may I ask who was your first girlfriend?"

'Percy', who had been staring back at Luna all this time, said in a giddy voice, "Oh, I had like lots of girlfriends, Luna, but like I can't remember my first one."

At this, Luna started wondering if the Percy she knew was a player, but she didn't want to interrupt 'Percy' as she still wanted to know whether or not the Stu in front of her was actually her former boyfriend.

"The only thing I could remember about her was that she was like really smart and beautiful, but I like really don't know anymore," continued 'Percy' in an excited voice, "Anyways, I hope that I answered your question, cutie."

Luna rolled her eyes, but thanked 'Percy' nevertheless. As she walked away from the Stu and back to camp, she noticed some Relationship Sues rush past her in the opposite direction towards the dock. Luna brushed some tears out of her eyes as she walked back to the general camp area.

Distracted by her thoughts of 'Percy', Luna wasn't watching where she was going and as a result, crashed into what felt like a brick wall. The Sue fell backwards and landed on her bottom; she cursed in Ancient Greek as she got up, muttering about stupid people who always get in her way.

"Get the Hades out of way!" she shouted at the person whom she ran into.

As quick as lightning, the person in front of her turned around and grabbed Luna's neck, holding the Sue about a foot above the ground. Luna gasped for breath as she tried to pry her assailant's hands off her throat. While she did this, she took a quick look at her attacker.

The Stu holding her was at least six feet tall and was wearing a business suit for some strange reason. Shades covered his eyes, which were no doubt heartless and merciless.

"Let...go...of...me...you...stupid...Warrior...Stu," gasped Luna as she struggled to get out of the Stu's death grip, her legs flailing.

The Stu pulled his arm towards his body to see the Sue better and began to study Luna closely through his dark sunglasses. Not only was it really awkward, Luna was slowly turning blue as the Stu continued to choke her.

It was about a minute before the Warrior Stu finally dropped the hapless Sue to the ground. Upon hitting the dirt, Luna choked and began coughing hurriedly to regain her lost oxygen. The Stu, meanwhile, stared at her kneeling form for a while before turning on his heel and muttering under his breath, "Idiotic Relationship Sue."

After five minutes, Luna managed to catch her breath and stood up again. She looked nervously at the Warrior Stu's disappearing figure before running off in the opposite direction. On the way, she bumped into another Stu.

"Sorry!" she cried out as her body forced her to jump back from the Stu. Luna gave a twitchy look at the Stu and desperately hoped that he wasn't another bad-tempered Warrior Stu.

The Stu in front of her couldn't have been more different from the Warrior from earlier. He was wearing a camp shirt and blue jeans instead of a business suit and pants, which was probably a sign that he wasn't a Warrior Stu. The Stu was about Luna's height and now was covering his bloody nose with his right hand. All Luna could see of his head was his hair, which was the color of the sun and silky.

"Are you alright?" Luna asked in cautious voice.

The Stu didn't respond to her stupid question as he was still occupied with the state of his nose. To Luna's confusion, the Stu, his eyes crossed on his nose, raised his left hand and snapped his fingers. Satisfied, the Stu finally removed his right hand and smiled, the blood gone from his nose as if it was never there in the first place.

Still grinning happily, the handsome boy looked up at Luna and said with a British accent, "I'm alright now."

"Yeah, you are." Luna smiled awkwardly while she said this. She was still wondering who his godly parent was.

Like the Nyx Sue earlier, the Gary Stu scrutinized her face before saying, "I don't I ever seen you before, Luna Shining Diamond. Are you new?"

"Yeah...I am," replied Luna nervously, "I just came today."

"I see," said the Stu kindly, "Can I ask who is your-"

Before he can complete his sentence, a sharp whistle pierced the air. Around Luna and him, the other campers froze in response to the sound. After the whistle ended its call, the Sue and Stu campers began to walk towards the Mess Hall.

"What were you saying?" asked Luna as the campers around them marched past them.

The Stu wasn't paying attention to her; his head was turned away from her and was staring at some of the Sues walking past. Luna rolled her eyes and snapped his fingers to get his attention again.

"Oh, sorry," he said, turning his head towards Luna, "What were you saying?"

Luna face-palmed.

In the Mess Hall, the blond Stu politely asked Luna to sit next to him for lunch. However, Luna hesitated as she knew that the camp didn't allow demigods of different gods to sit next to one another, and she was pretty sure the Stu next to her wasn't a son of Artemis.

"Come on, everyone else is already sitting down!" the Stu whined in an urgent tone.

Luna, not wanting to draw unwanted attention to her and the Gary, quickly sat down. Still wondering if she would get in trouble, she turned to the Gary and stared into his eyes before asking, "Isn't there some rule that forbids us to sit together, Nigel Malcolm Bello Potter?"

"What rule?" replied Nigel in a slightly-offhand voice.

"You know, that rule that we have to sit with our cabins and such?" explained Luna slowly.

"Oh, that rule," said the Stu, "To answer your question, it doesn't exist anymore."

"How come?"

"Well, it started when some Relationship Sues wanted to sit next to their boyfriends or something, but the original activities director, Chiron, didn't allow them to," said Nigel, "In the end, they got some Warrior Sue to kill him, so there, problem solved."

Luna looked away from him; she was a bit creeped out by Nigel's mention of Chiron as if he was nothing, but another obstacle in the way of the Sues. Anger began to fill her head as she thought about the stupid Sues who planned the great centaur's death. How dare those idiots kill the legendary trainer of heroes!

"What's wrong?"

Nigel's voice broke into her fuming thoughts. Luna turned to Nigel, whose face was repulsed by the hellish aura that her face gave off. Realizing her mistake, Luna quickly morphed her face into a less antagonistic expression, but it was too late; the damage had been done.

The Stu nervously looked at her as if expecting Luna to become the devil again. Luna tried to pass off her temporary raging with a cute smile and some uncomfortable giggles.

"What's wrong," she laughed, staring at Nigel, "You look like you just saw a demon."

To Luna's relief, Nigel's face turned from one of horror into one of confusion. Luna turned away from him; something told her that Nigel might think she was bipolar, but at least that was better than letting him continue to think that she was a crazy psychopath, however ironic that may be.

Lunch began. Some rather attractive nymphs walked around the Mess Hall with trays of food, handing them to various campers as they strolled past the many wooden tables placed in the Hall. At the first chance, Luna managed to get a plate of spaghetti and a Big Mac from one of the woodland spirits.

Smiling to herself, the Sue picked up her fork and was about to stab it into her plate of spaghetti when she then realized that she hadn't sacrificed her portion of her food to Artemis. Luna reluctantly put down her fork and picked up a knife to cut part of her Big Mac.

"What are you doing?"

Luna turned to Nigel with a puzzled expression on her face and answered, "I'm cutting my hamburger for the sacrifice to the gods, why?"

Nigel looked at her as if she was an idiot and said in a rather condescending tone, "Are you an idiot? The gods are dead."

Surprised and somewhat hurt by Nigel's words, Luna bit back her retort and tried to contain her anger at the Stu. It was easier now since she had some practice with Nicole.

Trying to act casual, Luna said in a somewhat emotionless voice to Nigel, "Yeah, but they are still our parents and I think us demigods should still honor them with sacrifices even if they are dead."

Nigel rolled his eyes at her and continued in the same condescending voice, "Honor our parents? They were a bunch of assholes, dear."

Enraged by Nigel's insult, Luna lost her temper. She glared at Nigel and said coldly, "That's funny coming from you, the only guy in here who has no friends."

At this, Nigel lost his cool too.

"You brat!" he shouted at Luna, causing the rest of the Sues in the Hall to stare at the two of them and began murmuring, "How dare you insult my lack of companions!"

"Oh, shut up, you pompous asshole!" Luna yelled back, red in the face, "You didn't have any to begin with!"

Nigel was looking daggers at her. He was about to scream back a sharp retort back at her when the sound of a gunshot bounced within the cafeteria. The instant it rang, Nigel quickly ducked under the tables and began to cower in fear.

Meanwhile, Luna was still standing, trying to look for the source of the noise. She ignored Nigel's whimpering as she shifted her body a full 360 degrees and finally spotted a Sue and a Stu walking towards her table. The Sue had long, silky shadow-black hair whipping across her shoulders as she walked and wore a violet dress that reached her knees while the Stu had a short, suave haircut and wore a tuxedo, along with long black pants. As they got closer, Luna saw that the Stu had a gun holster on the left side of his pants. Both of them wore shades, hiding their eyes from Luna.

"The Stu must have fired that gun earlier, thought Luna. She got a bit nervous; the Stu looked to be of the Warrior variety.

The two horribly-written characters reached Luna's table. The Stu took a glance at the still-quivering Nigel before turning his eyes to Luna.

"Why were you two yelling?" said the Stu to Luna in a dead, emotionless voice.

"Well, you see-"

"She attacked me!" Nigel suddenly piped up, catching the other Stu's eye, "She was slugging me for no reason and I was yelling and screaming for help, sir!"

"You liar! You started this!" growled Luna, turning to Nigel. She had half a mind to beat the crap out of Nigel now.

However, before she could do so, the tuxedo-Stu casually took out his handgun and said flippantly, "I don't give a damn who started it. If you two try to disturb the peace again, I'm going to personally hunt both of you down."

"Yeah, he so will," giggled the Sue in the violet dress, "I mean he's like the coolest boyfriend ever!"

Luna ignored the other Sue and said angrily to the tuxedo-Stu, "Who do you think you are? You can't just kill people for yelling!"

The tuxedo-Stu suddenly turned to Luna, his expression quite intimidating. Ignoring her body's advice to flee, Luna tried to stand her ground as the Stu's eyes glinted at her balefully from behind the glasses.

The Stu raised his handgun and for a moment, Luna thought he was going to shoot her, but instead the Stu just put it back into his holster. He then took off his shades, finally staring at Luna directly with his heartless, almost black eyes.

"Let me tell you who I am, newcomer," the Stu said softly, "I am Nico di Angelo, son of Hades and secondary leader of Camp Mary Sue. You don't tell me what to do, got that?"

"I understand," quivered Luna in a scared voice, "Sir."

Satisfied that he made his point, Nico turned to his girlfriend Sue. "Let's go back to the Big House, shall we, Thalia?"

"Like totally, Nicky!" squealed Thalia excitingly.

When the two of them left for the Big House hand in hand, the Stus and Sues in the Mess Hall resumed their general conversations.

Meanwhile, Luna stared blankly at her food, trying to comprehend what she just saw. She still couldn't believe that not only were Nico and Thalia still alive, they were also, for some reason, Mary Sues. Luna knew that while she never liked Thalia that much in her past, Thalia was far from being a Sue.

"Are you okay?"

Luna turned to her left and saw that Nigel was looking at her in a concerned manner. Despite her negative feelings for the Stu, she felt her grudge for him die with those three words.

"I'm just thinking about some stuff," she answered politely, "And I'm sorry for insulting you earlier."

"It's alright," he said in a miserable voice, "It's just that I found out today that all my friends died on their quest."

"Your friends died?"

"Yeah, didn't I just say that?" he continued in a sad, sympathy-wanting voice, "They were really great friends too. If you met them, you would have wanted to be their friend too."

"Really, who were they?"

"Well, there was Polly Totolee Uslyes Sparkles. She was a really beautiful and innocent girl..."

Luna stopped listening at those words; she already knew who Nigel's friends were. Thus, the Sue began to lose focus and only made half-hearted replies to Nigel's rants just to be polite.

"And Polly had a really bad childhood! Not only did her mortal parents die from internal combustion, her aunt and uncle were also very horrible to her."

"Cool, really cool."

"Oh, and I forget to tell you about her boyfriend, Mark Douchebag Triton Jackson. He was a really good pal of mine."

"Go on."

"Mark was the coolest demigod that ever existed, besides me, of course. He had a very cool and original backstory like Polly did!"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, he was the son of Poseidon and Ally Jackson. Poseidon left Mark's mom because he was a god and stuff and Ally had to marry this jerk called Labe Ugly. Anyways, he came to Camp Mary Sue later and became the best sword fighter at camp. Even better than his lame, unoriginal half-brother, Percy Jackson."

Luna perked up at the words "Percy Jackson" and interrupted Nigel. "Is Percy Jackson still here at camp?"

"How should I know?" responded Nigel in an irritated voice, "Do you expect me to keep track of all the OOC canon characters that live around camp?"

"Okay, sorry," said Luna in an equally annoyed tone, "Gosh, can't you take questions?"

"No," said Nigel, crossing his arms, "Because if you haven't noticed, I am a very important person and shouldn't be interrupted in my intelligent speeches."

"Well, go tell your speech to someone who cares because I'm leaving," retorted Luna, who finally was done with Nigel. She abandoned her lunch and marched out of the Mess Hall, smirking at Nigel's crestfallen face.

At the Big House...

"Nico, you are like the forbidden fruit of one of Hade's trees!"

"Mmmm, I like your electric taste, Thalia."

Nico was busy having a mouth-to-mouth session with his super sexy girlfriend, Thalia Grace. After five minutes of some romantic mouth-sucking, they fell apart and just stared at each other, both relishing how beautiful the other looked.

"Nico," finally said the daughter of Zeus, batting her eyelashes, "Can you tell me how we came to be together in the first place?"

"Sure, Thals," he said in a detached voice, "Let me think..."

In Nico's mind, he tried to search for the memory of him and Thalia's first kiss. After some seconds of shoveling through memories, he finally found the scene of he and Thalia sitting together on the Fourth of July.

As Nico watched Thalia and him kiss for the first time, he felt sick to his stomach although he had no idea why. For some reason, this memory seemed disgusting to him.

Before he can think more deeply about his sudden feelings, a soft voice interrupted his thoughts, bringing him back to reality.

"Nico?" asked Thalia lightly, "Are you okay?"

Nico found himself staring at his girlfriend's face and only muttered, "I'm fine. Just relieving some memories."

Thalia cocked her head to one side, like an owl, before asking, "Are you feeling pain?"

"I am," he said in a dead sort of voice, "I think I'm just going to cut myself to rid myself of the pain."

"Oh, Nico!" squealed Thalia loudly, "I love it when you are so emotionally and physically weak!"

Nico ignored Thalia's cries of joy and took out a bronze knife from one of his pockets. He then took off his tuxedo jacket and proceeded to cut himself.

He stopped. The son of Hades turned towards the door; someone was knocking on it. Knowing who it was, Nico quickly put his tuxedo jacket back on, put away his knife, and walked to the door.

Nico opened the door and on the porch stood a beautiful Sue who had shiny, golden eyes and midnight-black, ebony hair that went past the waist and wore a silver jacket and a silver tiara, the mark of the Commander of the Huntress Sues of Artemis.

"I was wondering when you were coming, Commander Selene Sparkling Emerald," he said in a typical emo voice.

Selene sneered at him while saying, "I had a hard time with those Slayers. They kept struggling while we marched back to here."

"Where are we going to put them?"

"In the middle of the battle arena. We'll just get some Warrior Sues and Stus to guard them there before we begin torturing them to death tomorrow."

"Are you going to give any of them with the Curse before putting the rest to torture?"

The Huntress Commander thought about Nico's question for a while before replying. "No, none of them were that particularly handsome and I doubt they will be any better in Cursed Stu form. I'll probably get a Stu to do Rachel Dare though; Serenity might not be happy if she lost a canon character for her collection."

"Good," said Nico in an uncaring voice, "Anything else you want to tell me before you go off to the arena."

"Yes," responded Selene with seriousness in her voice for the first time, "I need to inform you about Serenity's true plan in secret."

The Huntress Commander then turned around and yelled to one of her fellow Huntresses, "Christina Moonlight Silverdust, I want you and the others to deliver the Slayers to the arena straightaway."

Selene watched her half-sisters head for the arena for a few minutes before walking into the Big House and locking its front door.

Elsewhere...

Rachel did not enjoy being a prisoner, especially when her captors were obnoxious Sues.

"Hey Dare! I heard you broke Percy Jackson's heart, bitch!"

"Get ready to be punished for your crimes, you slut!"

"Whore!"

The red-head said nothing; it was obvious that these Sues did not know the whole story between she, Annabeth, and Percy. Instead of listening to their insults, Rachel began to daydream about classical arts while she walked among the Huntress Sues, slowly becoming deaf to the world around her.

Next to her, a sixteen-year old boy of Hephaestus was becoming quite irritated at the Huntress Sues. Although he didn't say anything, his temperature was rising, causing the Sues next to him to back slowly away from him.

Rachel felt the heat emitting from the boy and whispered to him, "Leo, control your powers. They might kill us all if they suspect that one of us is trying to escape."

"Humph, I can take them all down," muttered back Leo in an angry voice, "I doubt any of them have flame resistance."

Rachel was rather taken aback by this; Leo she knew was usually funny and good-tempered and certainly not murderous.

"True," said back Rachel, trying to recover from her surprise, "But you might end up hurting the other prisoners. Besides, there are stronger Sues around here at camp."

"Fine," murmured Leo mutinously, "But I don't see how staying alive and getting tortured is any better than dying."

Rachel felt Leo's extra heat declining until she couldn't feel it anymore. Grimacing, she realized that Leo was right; what was the use in staying alive when you were about to expect eternal pain?

The five Slayers and the Huntress Sues kept marching until they stopped in front of a familiar structure, the combat arena. The Huntress Sue in the front, Christina Silverdust, turned around and began to address the Slayers.

"Listen carefully, Slayers, and I assure you that you won't deserve any more punishment than needed," yelled the second-in-command Huntress Sue, "On my command, you will all walk into the combat arena, put yourselves into one of the five cages in there, and wait for us to lock you guys in. You will not attempt to break out unless you want to get shot to death by one of our Warrior Sues."

Christina repeated these instructions three times just to make sure her prisoners got the message. Before she completed the third one though, Rachel immediately fell forward, landing on her hands and looking sick. Some of the Sues of Artemis sniggered at this.

Christina saw this, rolled her eyes, and said in a slightly annoyed voice, "Can somebody pick her up?"

There was no need for this; Leo was already trying to help Rachel up. To Leo's shock, Rachel's eyes were closed and her breathing was rapid and sharp.

"Rachel!" Leo cried out.

To the sound of his voice, Rachel's eyes opened, but they glowed yellow-green with no whites. Green smoke came out of her mouth in a snake-like fashion as she began to speak in a voice unlike her own.

"In a world corrupted and wrecked by pure demigods,

five should go against all the odds.

One will die for the enemy.

Another will fall to victory.

The daughter of Artemis will meet her end

In an a-"

The green smoke disappeared. Rachel's eyes had their whites again and her irises were back to a normal shade of green. She stood up to Leo's surprise and groaned with her hand on her head. "Uh, what happened?"

"You fell," said Christina although she looked slightly worried, "There's nothing wrong with you."

She turned to other Slayers and yelled, "All of you to your prisons! Now!"

The five of them, under the guard of the Huntress Sues, walked obediently into the combat arena. None of the Huntresses noticed a girl with silver hair watching them from the bushes.