Heaving a big sigh, John shuffled in his seat for the fifth time since he had at down in front of Sam's hospital bed. Judging by the anesthetic bag hooked up to Sam's IV, he would be out for at least another two hours. Good nap, the nurse with the bleach-blonde hair who watched Dean with a hungry expression had said. John found her kind of … well… skanky. Not that John was an expert on modern women, but if he had a choice, he would keep her as far away from his boy's as possible. Far, far away.

His mind reaching more of an appropriate chorus of action, John looked down to Sam again. Why did this seem so familiar? I wonder… John frowned at himself. First Mary, then Dean. I can't believe Sam got through this as well as he did. A little switch in John's brain flipped, telling him why his son had survived, but John un-flipped it, unable to think of it any longer.

Things had changed since his death, that much was clear. Dean hadn't taken his death well at all, judging by what he had heard so far, and Sam had eventually found out what John had told Dean. That was uncomfortable enough, John admitted. It had hurt like nothing else to tell Dean that he might have to kill his brother.

That was a burden for John alone to carry, not Dean. Definitely not Sam's either, but that didn't stop him from getting into trouble. He was possessed, kidnapped by demons, and murdered in the course of a year, along with who-knows-what else. Dean, following in his father's stupid footsteps, had made the deal to bring Sam back to life. Some part of John was proud of Dean for it, for being brave enough and strong enough to sacrifice his life for his little brother. But the other part, the part that John knew was true, told him that Dean had been foolish, weak, just like is father. And Dean went to hell for it too, just like his father. John sighed again, trying to force the images out of his mind. He remembered hell, although that was a secret he would take back to the grave.

Sometimes, when he looked at Dean, he noticed little movements, little hesitancies that told John that some part of Dean remembered it too. It was the look in his eyes when he didn't know you were watching him. What surprised John also was that Sam seemed more in-tune with this than he was. Sam was, in reality, his brother's keeper. John hadn't been around long enough to notice any of the big actions, but he had noticed the little things, like the way Sam would change the subject when it came to things Dean didn't want to talk about, or how he would turn up the Impala's music when there were uncomfortable silences. John had spent his whole life telling Dean to "look out for Sammy", and now Sammy was looking out for Dean. It was what some people would call poetic justice. Others would call it irony, or worse yet, a cruel twist of fate. Despite Sam's apparent rise to power, he was still venerable. John had seen that just a few hours ago, and it was enough to make him leave the room. Sam was just as important to John as Dean was. They were his sons, and equals in his eyes, but they were still different. There was a part of John, somewhere in the back of his head, that had stubbornly refused to believe that he would get to keep Sam. There was always the possibility that he would die like so many other children that had been attacked by evil things, or that he would change, like the other demon-children.

Worse yet, was the possibility that Sam's undoing, if he ever had one, would be by his own family. The worst thing that a father would have to do, ever, was to let his own son die willingly, let alone kill him. That was why John had made the deal for Dean. He couldn't let his son die. But if it came to killing Sam, John knew that it was his responsibility, his charge. My son. But Dean, the son that had grown up too fast to take his father's place on the totem pole, had also taken up that mantle. Dean hated the thought of killing Sam, if it was possible, almost more than John did it seemed. Sam was Dean's brother, his best friend, his everything. John had died, and there was no getting around that. Coming back after two years didn't change the fact that he had abandoned his family, whether he had a choice or not. Dean knew Sam better than anybody.

When John thought about it, his sons had both done everything he ever wanted, and everything he never wanted. They had become better hunters than he, the legendary John Winchester, had ever dreamed to be. They had both been through everything and stayed together until the end. They were both still on the right side, fighting every obstacle to save the innocent. They killed the yellow-eyed demon! But they had changed, becoming colder, harder. They had become more like John than he ever wanted, but somehow worse. Sam used his powers. Dean gave Sam demon blood. Dean sold his soul. Sam had affiliated with a demon. John knew he was a hypocrite to judge them, either of them, but he was worried. Disappointed even.

John hadn't even been back a week, he realized, but still he was already becoming more intertwined with this life. He didn't know what was going on, or who to trust when it came to Sam and Dean's allies. But then again, had he really expected things to stay the same? Was he really that naïve? The hunt had changed. His sons had changed. But he hadn't. Other than his experiences in hell, John was the same person he had always been. Or maybe, John frowned at himself, maybe you don't notice when you change. When Sam and Dean look at themselves in the mirror, do they see the same people they used to be?

Looking down to Sam's cold, pale, unexpressive face, John let himself feel a moment of angst. His sons had been his world, and he had lost them. They had moved on, had grown up into strong men with their own lives, dreams, feelings and beliefs. Dean had been rescued from hell by an angel, John remembered his son saying. That was weird enough. Now John wasn't a religious man in any means, and he knew Dean felt the same. Or at least… he had. Maybe things had changed. Whatever had really saved Dean needed to show itself to John before he was going to believe.

And Sam… What had he been up too lately? "Exorcising demons" was the phrase Sam had used… whatever the heck that really meant. He had never specified... Not that I really gave him the chance, John admitted seriously. It was true, John may have been a little insensitive to his sons this morning, particularly Sam. But in his defense, John had been completely shocked by everything he had been told; it was perfectly understandable how he had acted… Wasn't it?

Suddenly, John felt the jolt of adrenaline hit his body with the familiar sense that he was being watched. Quickly but with caution, he turned around him to the door, where he was surprised to see Ruby, arms crossed in front of her chest and leaning against the wall beside the door. She had, it seemed, been looking at Sam, but when John turned her eyes immediately flickered to his, as if she could read his mind. Maybe she could… John didn't like that thought. Stupid demons. John opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"Easy pops," Ruby held a hand out in front of her to silence him, but her tone was calm. "I'm not here to cause trouble."

"Than why are you here?" John demanded angrily, glaring. The thought of what she had done to Sam was still fresh in his mind.

"Believe it or not," Ruby held a tiny bag in her hand out like an admittance fee. "I come bearing gifts." She tossed the bag to John, who caught it backhandedly and began to examine it. "It's witchcraft by the way," Ruby explained before John could ask. "Keeps demons from catching your scent, angels too. Sam's a big glitch on the radar for both teams, and when it comes you you're lives, its not good to play battleship. They'll both notice the difference and flock like pigeons to wheat seeds, but this will cover your tracks. That also means that you wont have to worry about me for a while at least," She gave him a sarcastic smile, although it seemed laced with an emotion John couldn't recognize. Maybe sadness… "Lucky you."

Fumbling with the bag in his hands, John nodded slowly, not sure whether he should condemn or thank her. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are on the right side."

John paused, confused. He should be saying that to her, not the other way around.

"And because," Ruby continued. "You are Sam's father. Dean's too for that matter."

Even more awkward. Was this demon infatuated with Sam or something? "Why do you care about him so much? Sam I mean."

Ruby hesitated, her face considerate. "I don't know. Its just…"She stopped herself, becoming cold again. "I'm not going to spill my heart out to some hunter I don't know. I don't care who you are."

John huffed, shaking his head. "Sorry I asked."

"Why bother? I already know how you feel about me. You Winchesters… no matter how many times I prove myself, I just have to do it again and again. I'm not some dog to send through a hoop. I don't do tricks."

"Well you certainly seem to." John held up the hex bag, and looked at her warily. "And that demon blood 'trick' of yours…"

"You think it was stupid."

"That's not… Not quite the word I'd use." John struggled to keep his voice calm, although all he wanted was to send her back to where she belonged.

"Honestly, I don't care what word you'd use." Ruby stepped forwards, standing at the foot of Sam's hospital bed, watching him intensely. "Not like I had a choice. He was dying… I hated to do it, but it'll make him stronger in the end."

"Make him…"John glared at her, appalled. " How dare you even" –

"Oh save the melodrama," Ruby sighed pointedly, still staring at Sam. "Despite what you seem to think, Sam's tough as nails. If I ever complement you on anything John, it is that you managed to raise this one right somehow. Whatever happens, he can handle it."

"This isn't a game Ruby," John forced icily, turning his body to face her. "This is my son we're talking about, not some racehorse you can bet on as you wish. I don't care what" –

"You don't think I know that?!" Ruby snapped incredulously. "Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass and believed in your son for once, he could actually get somewhere without having to worry about what daddy might think! He didn't get to where he is today by acting that way, and I'm sure as hell not going to let him start now."

Scoffing, John wished that it was physically possible to glare at her even more than he already was. "You're not Sam's charge. You don't" –

"And you are?" Ruby laughed bitterly. "…I'm not the one who abandoned him."

John hesitated, unsure how to respond. It was true, he had abandoned Sam. It hadn't been on purpose, but it was true.

"Look," Ruby died down slowly, forcing the subject to a close. "Just keep the bag with Sam at all times. It'll keep him safe. Don't trust me, ask Dean about the hex bag. He knows what they are too. Hell, Sam knows all about them, he can even check it over for you. And stay close to Sam. It will rub off on you too, although with your reputation you shouldn't need that. Still, you are supposed to be dead. Stay out of sight and you might stay out of trouble. And I suggest you get one of those anti-possession tattoos that your boys wear so well. They are worse their weight in gold."

John couldn't help himself, huffing out loud sarcastically. "A demon is telling me to stay away from possession. That's not hypocritical at all."

"Hey I recycle," Ruby snapped back, although with less stamina then before. "This body is one-hundred percent empty, other than me of course. Sam has the papers if you're interested, but I think you've already given him hell enough for one day. God forbid you should even remotely trust me and we can move on from this," she sighed, glaring half-heartedly, and gave Sam one last look before turning to walk out the door.

John knew he should say something, but he wasn't sure what. Was he supposed to yell at her? Thank her? He wasn't even sure how he felt about Ruby any more…

"If you don't mind," Ruby requested quietly, turning to glance back at the hospital bed. "Don't tell Sam I came. He's not too happy with me at the moment. I'm supposed to back off, but…"She cleared her throat, turning back to the door. "Don't forget about the hex bag by the way. That wasn't exactly easy to come by." She walked out the door, and John walked after her, unsure what he was going to say but wanting to say something. Even though John hurried, when he got around the corner, Ruby had disappeared.