Fallen Phoenix of Berk - I know! But yanno Hiccup, he likes to do crazy stuff.

Yeah, I've noticed there isn't much slash in the HTTYD fandom, which is surprising for a fandom with canonically gay and bisexual characters. I have already jotted down notes on potential new story... not like I have enough to be doing why do I do this to myself? Damnit Harker!

OechsnerC - what? No no no no! I've already answered this before, and if you didn't notice Eret is a big ol' homo in my fic (personally I'm convinced he's gay in canon but that may be just me). I will repeat myself - Astrid and Eret will absolutely not happen in this fic. Not ever.

infadinityfollower - I'm glad you like!

I don't own the How To Train Your Dragon soundtrack, I just borrowed a few lines.

-HTTYD-

Proportional to their size, Wildr had actually grown more than Beast. Of course, being big already, Beast had outgrown his water tub already, ate more than the other three dragons combined and sneezed out flurries of snowflakes at least daily that froze patches of wall solid.

Astrid was probably starting to suspect something was going on after six months of hiding the Bewilderbeast baby. Though, she wasn't home as much now - having joined the Berk Guard after Finn's first birthday. Hiccup was also out at the moment - he had to go on his annual trip to the Shivering Shores. With their knowledge of dragons and metal work, at least her boy never struggled for diplomatic gifts - many had loved unbreakable shields, rust proof swords and better arrows (made with spines that Nadders shed easily).

Cloudjumper took great pride in helping take care of Beast and even the boys. He was presently overseeing both boys eating lunch - not that Valka could cook especially well but Hiccup had even taken care of that and left instructions for the boys favourites. Nobody had gotten sick yet, so she was doing something right.

It did mean that Valka and Astrid were living rather stilted silent lives around each other, their longest interaction Astrid saying goodbye to Finn before calling out a stiff goodbye to Valka. If she didn't know better... she would think Astrid knew.

It was far more likely she resented the closeness that no longer really existed between Hiccup and his wife. It was their second wedding anniversary soon, and Valka only knew that because Hiccup had mentioned it recently - he was planning to make some effort with Astrid, feeling guilty about neglecting her even if in his heart, there wasn't much left of their marriage but Finn.

"Dragon!"

Finn's newest word was dragon, alongside 'mama', 'dada' and of course several impressive dragon roar impressions. Impressively loud at least. He was walking too, teething and full of laughter and joy and always had a gap-toothed smile for everyone. Especially Wildr, who Finn spent as much time as possible with, babbling enough to fill Wildr's silence and bringing fish to the Bewilderbeast at every chance.

"Anybody home?"

"In here Hiccup."

Gods, her stomach fluttered just at the sound of his voice, two long hard days without him falling away as he appeared with Toothless, both smiling and happy to see them. The boys greeted their father first, then Toothless as Hiccup greeted her. His fingers clutched her waist as he kissed her deeply, arms sliding around her waist as he buried his head in her neck and she could fill her lungs with his woodsy, outdoorsy scent.

"By Odin, I missed you. All of you. Even Mr Sniffles there."

"Beast!"

"Sorry Wildr. Yes, even Beast."

Hiccup looked sufficiently chagrined by Wildr to settle their son, who turned back to grunting at Beast with Finn watching. By the gods, she had missed Hiccup's kisses as he peppered them across her jaw, catching her lips with a contented hum.

"How was your meeting?"

"Eventful. One of the guys from Luk Tuk almost got killed, a new chief didn't know about the dragons and tried to get Toothless. Still, treaty signed, peace kept... mostly. And that is my annual rounds done."

"No more overnight voyages then?"

"Nope, thank Thor. I can never sleep without saying goodnight to you guys. Even Toothless is anxious, wants to know the kids and Beast are safe. Alpha and Chief... we're a mad old mix."

Toothless huffed, then went back to nuzzling gently at Finn where he touched his snout surprisingly softly, not grabbing like he and other young Vikings tended to do. Valka kissed his hairline, smiling when Hiccup burrowed into her neck a little tighter.

"You're home now my sweet boy. You and your dragon."

"I hate leaving. I hate that I can't be here all day every day watching the boys turn into people, watch this baby Beast become a future Alpha. I hate being chief."

He whispered the last words, and Valka knew why. He hated the responsibility, having so many rely on him when he used to just be able to go flying, to spend days on end building the wonderful things in his mind. It was selfish, he said, especially when Stoick had trusted Hiccup to be chief. Valka didn't think so.

Even when they were young, Hiccup only a babe and any sort of retirement decades away, she wondered if it was fair to force a son to be chief. She remembered watching Stoick declare their frail, fragile little boy the future of Berk - only to find out he had not spent the time building Hiccup into a man. Hiccup had to learn himself, and he didn't belong somewhere so stifled. He was a dragon in his soul, freedom and adventure beckoned.

He had done what he had to. Rebuilt Berk, united man and dragon. When would it be enough?

But here they were.

"I know son, I know."

He wiped a few stray tears away, kissed her gently before carefully making his way down to the floor with the boys to cuddle his sons.

"Can Beast swim? I mean, he obviously prefers being in the water and dragons can walk from hatching. But do they swim or is it more a walk on the ocean floor thing?"

"The old alpha could swim, but he did prefer to walk or rest in water. I don't know if he were taught by the previous Bewilderbeast or whether they innately know."

Valka stood behind him, running her fingers through his hair and Hiccups head tipped back to lean in to her touch, three sets of her green eyes looking up at her.

"We could test it some time. He could probably do with stretching his... fins? Legs? I don't know which counts more. There's some secluded pools past the logging forest, I'm thinking after my... you know, anniversary, we could take a midnight trip?"

His voice almost wavered on the word, but Hiccup kept his voice as even as possible while shivering lightly from her touch.

"Sounds good. A shallow one would be good just in case he cannot yet swim."

"Yeah, we'll work it out. Plus, the way he eats he could do with some exercise."

Valka felt a sense of deja vu, watching Beast growl and spit frost at Hiccup. The old Alpha had done that in affection, but as she could see little shards of ice that left a couple of scrapes along his cheek, she doubted that was the case.

"Ok, sensitive topic! Sorry Beast. I don't mind this on me, but can you not do that to the kids?"

It was clear as the sky Wildr would not be separated from Beast, and Finn from his brother. So Hiccup didn't bother trying, just asked the dragon not to harm their young. A few grumbly groans later, Wildr translated.

"Said... safe. Not hurt. Us."

"Reassuring. I'm gonna go clean my face up, you three little ones be good. Then I should get started with dinner."

He stumbled upright, bleeding ever so slightly, just a few drops from tiny splits in the skin but he probably didn't want to scare the children. She wanted to kiss them better, motherly instincts and all but Hiccup was already gone to find the damp cloths and ointment for the job.

"Oh Thor, I forgot how much this stuff stings. Remind me not to anger the baby Alpha again."

She couldn't help chuckling as Hiccup came back in, cheek smelling slightly of menthol and the mix of herbs Gothi made to reduce infection - with the constant dragon injuries and Vikings not being big on bathing, infections were common back in the fighting times. Kissing the uninjured cheek, Valka caressed his jaw as she revelled in him being home again.

"They should close over mostly by tonight."

"Mmm. I was doing something..." he tipped his head, kissed her gently before he remembered "oh yeah, dinner."

It was still surprising to her, even now after they had been conducting their strange bonding and loving each other the way that felt right, that Hiccup was so affected by her. That he still looked at her like she was a goddess, the embodiment of beauty. That he wanted to trade power and leadership off at the door to be father, lover and utterly domestic with no resentment - even when cooking and cleaning were 'women's work' to most.

"Would you like some help?"

"No no, you have the boys."

He smiled warmly, kissed her clavicle where it was visible above her collar before turning, ruffling both boys hair and heading out to the kitchen area. He sang to himself when he cooked, and it warmed her heart to hear him, though she didn't know the song he was reciting.

"Come fly with me

Into a fantasy

Where you can be

Whoever you want to be

Come fly with me."

He held the last note, and Valka wanted to ask her older son about the tune but he seemed in a world of his own, and she daren't disturb him as he diced vegetables and mixed herbs in all manner of delicious ways.

He even grew them himself now for them, pots across window ledges and the sunniest patches of land near their home. They grew quickly and needed little work to maintain, and Hiccup often took Finn or Wildr out to help and get some sun on their pale, freckly skin they had both inherited from him - neither she or Astrid had much of it themselves.

Toothless leant his head over the tub side, licking Beast like a mother - or father, she supposed - dragon, cooing happily when Beast leaned in for more affection. Despite the fact it looked as though Beast would outgrow Toothless by the time Finn turned two, there was a rather distinct parent-child relationship between them, like Toothless knew he would one day pass on the mantle and it was his task to ensure the future Alpha was up to scruff.

"Hey Toothless... you still feeding Beast or can he feed himself?"

Hiccup called out, and while the dragons couldn't answer Toothless would likely go out and eat the fish, then come back to regurgitate it for Beast if he had to. When Toothless didn't leave, Hiccup came in with the newest carved wooden bowl for Beast to match the ones Stormfly, Toothless and Cloudjumper had.

"Alright then, I'm taking that as he can feed himself. So here ya go Beast, chow down. Yours are out there guys" he looked between Cloudjumper and Toothless "or Astrid may notice. Boys, come on. Dinner."

He got two sulky pouts for his trouble, but Valka and Hiccup each retrieved a son and carried them out to their high chairs. Specially designed for the young Haddock twosome, with a raised edging to ensure their bowls couldn't be shoved off or knocked off.

"I know you like the little dragon, but you need to eat. Here you go boys, chow down."

The boys got messily stuck in to their soup, the watery broth of the thick stew Hiccup had made for dinner - Wildr had a couple of tiny chunks of meat and vegetable, but until they had more teeth he was careful. The stew itself tasted divine, rich and flavoursome and made her feel practically liquid inside. In a different way to Hiccup's usual effect on her.

"Good?"

"Amazing. I do wonder where your skills came from, as it wasn't me and Stoick could barely boil water."

"Necessity. I... I wasn't welcome in the Great Hall often, and dad was always off chasing dragons or chiefing so I had to learn to make food out of what was in here. Still, that's in the past and it's meant I can cook. I even taught you to cook."

He smiled and it looked genuine, even if there was a hint of the sad hollow in his deep emerald eyes for a second. He dipped his bread in his bowl, smiling with his cheeks puffed full of food to make her laugh - very successfully. Even now he was in his mid-twenties, Hiccup had a daft, rather adorable sense of humour when he was happy.

Astrid returned late, downed two bowls of the admittedly delicious stew and headed up for a bath with barely a dozen words to any of them other than her son. She did look rather tired, and the Berk Guard were known for their exhaustive training drills.

Hiccup sat aside, probably the only Viking to have a desk both upstairs and downstairs in his home, and when Valka peered over his shoulder she saw he was sketching out Toothless' tail fin. One of the papers to the side was some of the words of that song he had been singing to himself earlier... had he written it himself?

"What are you working on son?"

"Oh, just a new fin. The Berk crest one seems a little... odd to mark the Alpha with. So I thought I would make this one instead. Whaddya think?"

He leant back so she could see better, the new design mostly black to match his natural scale colour but in lines glittering in shades of blue and green and white, the shape of a haddock could be made out - her boy was such an artist.

"It's beautiful son. I'm sure he'll love it."

"Yeah. I think I'll pick up the equipment from the forge when I do my rounds tomorrow and work on it here... don't need Gustav trying to see every detail. He's useful but man he can get overbearing."

That Hiccup knelt on the floor in their home, wearing nothing but his work leggings and allowed Valka to watch his slender, compact-muscled frame work, the nimble fingers that explored her body at every opportunity and the slim build that belied his strength, his fire. When he got paint on his cheek and looked up at her with a smile, Valka felt her heart stutter in her chest.

He was so perfect, but humble. Made it seem like it was he unworthy of her attention, her love rather than the other way around. A wonderful father, lover and a son to be proud of. And, especially when he smiled so widely as Finn smeared a handful of paint across his fathers bare chest with a giggle, he was utterly beautiful. Oh, the gods had given her the most unbelievable fortune.

"Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!"

Finn had a habit of repeating his words as he learnt them. A lot. Especially to Wildr, as though he was carrying the conversation on enough for both he and his near-silent brother. Wildr always looked to be listening intently, but whether or not he was was anyones guess. He also did it a lot to Loki - Ruffnut's newborn son. Loki wasn't much interested in anything but eating, sleeping and screaming.

"Yes son. We live with dragons. Now, do to behave for this sleepover?"

Finn stuck his lips out in thought, then shared an intense look with his toy Nadder. Apparently they agreed on something, as Finn next uttered

"Yeah!"

Finn was spending that night with Valka and Wildr... and Beast and Toothless. Cloudjumper would too if he could fit in there... maybe they should think about expanding. It was going to be necessary for Beast eventually...

"Good man. Thanks for this mom."

"No problem son. Enjoy your anniversary."

They shared a loaded, heavy look. One that tried to express the pent up desire and love they had little chance to express through more than words and glances with their current situation. Then Hiccup made himself look away, turn back to making Astrid's favourite dinner and apologising as he asked Cloudjumper to stay in his perch space that was once his stable.

Astrid stormed through the door about fifteen minutes later, stopping dead when she saw just Hiccup stood next to the offerings of food and trying to look somewhere between apologetic and celebratory.

"What's this?"

"Uh... happy anniversary? We didn't get to celebrate much last year because Finn was so small and needed us a lot."

He felt guilty - Astrid looked genuinely surprised, telling him that she expected zero romantic effort from Hiccup, thrown off by him celebrating their wedding only two years ago. It felt like a lifetime.

"Wow. I didn't realise that was today. Will it keep while I go get changed?"

"Of course. There's hot water in the bathroom if you wanted to wash up, I know you like a wipe down after a rough day."

She passed him, headed up to their shared room that Hiccup had to force himself to sleep in these days. He fussed with the food, filled his mug with mead and tried to stay calm and cheery - at least externally. Astrid deserved at least one nights effort from him... he had been a lousy husband in pretty much every other respect. He owed her tonight.

Soft footsteps padded down the steps, Astrid wearing little but her light tunic that left little to his imagination. Oh Thor, she was expecting him to perform that night... Hiccup took a long swallow of his drink, hoping it would look to her like dry mouth from arousal rather than sheer fear that he wouldn't be able to. His body just didn't co-operate anymore, refused to become aroused by any but his own mother.

"Where's Finn?"

"Uh... in with my mom. He was excited about a sleepover."

"Wow, you really did plan this out."

"Yeah..."

Astrid smiled, taking the full mug of mead from Hiccup's other hand and mmm-ing to herself at the honey taste. They sat and ate and Hiccup stared mostly at his plate at first, then realised he was ignoring her again and made himself look at her. Astrid smiled softly, and Hiccup sent a mental apology to Valka as he thought about her, using it to feign the attraction Astrid was searching for.

"How's your food?"

"Amazing. I love your cooking."

"Glad you're enjoying it."

Hiccup continued to drink, playing it off as celebration when Astrid looked at him.

"We don't get much chance to drink together like this."

"I guess. Still, careful. You're a lightweight."

Hiccup shrugged, downed the last cup and felt pleasantly buzzed inside. Astrid finished her cocoa and coconut dessert with several pleasured sounds that would have once made Hiccup desperate to have her. Now it made him... well, right now he wanted to laugh but that could be the drink talking. Stumbling slightly as he stood to place the empty plates next to the rinse bucket for the morning, Hiccup was definitely a little drunk.

"So... bed?"

Yep, Astrid wanted sex and Hiccup was petrified he wasn't going to be able to get it up, and Astrid was going to notice and then she would know everything...

"Yeah. Just gonna drink some water."

"Alright... I'll be waiting."

She threw him a coy smile and Hiccup wanted to throw up. It wasn't her fault but by the gods, Hiccup couldn't think of much he wanted to do less than go upstairs and have sex with his wife. She wasn't his mother, and it was sickening but it was true. In fact, about the only thing Astrid had going for her was Hiccup's drunken thoughts about how it had been weeks since he and Valka had had much... alone time.

He got the canteen of water and drank deeply, feeling the cold wash through him and alleviate a little of his hazy brain - he couldn't be too out of it, or he might let his mind wander to Valka too much and Astrid would almost definitely notice him calling her 'mom' at the height of climax.

"Come on Haddock. You can do this."

Mini pep talk over, Hiccup placed down the water canteen and headed up the stairs like a condemned man. He had to grab the wall for support halfway up.

"I'm drunker than I thought. Oops."

Nonetheless, he made it up to the bedroom, finding Astrid in their bed with the light linen she had had on slung over his desk chair.

"Not to be un-romantic, but I need a minute."

Astrid laughed, watched him amble across to the bathroom and he relieved his suddenly heavy bladder. Rinsing his hands, Hiccup splashed cold water across his face and dried off the drips before looking down and focusing on thoughts of the woman he wished to really be spending his nights with.

At least Astrid wouldn't be querying his obvious soft cock, thoughts of his mother giving Hiccup a solid erection that demanded her attentions. Taking a deep breath, Hiccup stepped back out to his marital bed, undressed himself down to shorts and slid beneath the furs to feel Astrid's hot skin on his own. Any distant hopes he had that Astrid wouldn't want intimacy were gone when she immediately reached for his erection, pressing against him and kissing like a wife and husband probably should.

But then, a husband probably shouldn't be struggling to stay hard for his wife.

Hoping if he got her aroused enough she wouldn't notice Hiccup's lacking desire, he rolled her on to her back and immediately worked his way downwards. Astrid practically leapt off the bed when his tongue touched her clit, dredging up memories of how she liked it back when this didn't feel wrong, didn't feel like a lie.

"Gods Hiccup, your mouth..."

Her breathy moans sounded wrong. All the same, Hiccup nipped at her thigh in warning.

"Not too loud, don't want to wake mom up."

Astrid nodded, cheeks flushed and skin already shining with a light sheen of sweat as Hiccup resumed going down on her, letting his drunken hazy mind float away a little and performing the task almost mechanically until Astrid was doing that little quiver he knew meant she was close.

"Don't... stop! C'mon Hiccup!"

Satisfied he had her in the right state, Hiccup fumbled for the protective sheath to cover his cock, hands slipping in his drunken state and he really hoped he had put it on right but frankly, he was amazed he was erect at all. Astrid didn't let him dwell, throwing herself at him and impaling herself on his cock without a second for negotiation.

This he could just about do, because no matter where Hiccup's mind was his cock knew it had been a while since it was buried in a willing body and he let that lead the charge. Astrid seemed content to do the hard work anyway, bouncing herself on him eagerly and moaning louder than Hiccup really thought she should - any louder and half the village would hear through the dragon hole.

One time, he would have been smug and proud about that.

Having been left dangerously close to her peak before, Astrid didn't take much time to ride herself into a frenzy and come with a series of needy whimpers and feral grunts. Hiccup let the feeling wash over him, even that a contrasting experience as he felt a little gross and dirty after. Not in the usual debauched, sticky, satisfied manner either.

Astrid watched him roll up to ditch the sheath, wiping himself down with a damp rag before staggering back to the bed. He made himself stay lax as Astrid shuffled over to lay on his chest, clearly feeling better for the well-fucked expression on her face.

"I was starting to worry you had gone off me after Finn was born."

Hiccup felt like slime. Because in a way, he had, though not the way Astrid probably thought. He could remember looking down at their son and and practically seeing the love he had for Astrid slowly leeching away, moving over to their baby boy.

"No hun, it's not that at all. I was just..." he felt even worse for taking advantage of an excuse Astrid would never question "dealing with a thing. After losing dad, then becoming a dad... I don't know. It was just a lot going on in my head."

"You should have told me babe."

Hiccup bit back his angry retort - Astrid didn't listen when he tried to talk, didn't ask when he was upset anymore. Tonight was about her. He could hold on for one night. Rather than argue, he just murmured two words that encompassed many, many things.

"I'm sorry."

Drunken and exhausted, Hiccup yawned into the back of his hand and Astrid leant up to kiss his jaw, then shifted around to face away from him - she rarely managed to sleep laying on his chest, did much better when they spooned together.

"Night babe."

"Night Astrid."

Hiccup wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up.

-HTTYD-

There is more coming than just plain old marriage-angst. Promise.