Bittersweet

Chapter 14

Beth needed to get out.

"Maggie, I'm fine, really- please just get some rest." She soothed, gritting her teeth and feeling guilty for how annoyed she was at her sister. After all, it was only out of love.

The brunette ran a hand down her sister's arm, "Are ya sure? Where ya goin?" Beth resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the continuous stream of questioning.

"Just outside for a few minutes."

"Why, ain't ya sleepin'?"

"I will, soon. I just need some air, to clear my head."

"You want some company?"

The blond shook her head, "No, I think I could just use some quiet time to myself. It's kinda stuffy in here." She cut off her sister as she opened her mouth, "I'll be fine, really. Daryl's on guard, n' he heard everythin' last time, didn't he?"

"Actually," Rick's voice interrupted, his lithe form leaning up against the doorway, "Daryl tells me you were the one who noticed what was happenin'. That was real good, Beth. I can't thank ya enough for everythin' you done for this group… both the other night and with the Gov-… and a few months ago. I just, uh, wanted to come by and check on ya. You holdin' up ok?" He looked at her with fatherly, caring eyes.

Beth thought she might scream.

Instead, she forced a weak smile, "I am, really. I thought maybe if somethin' like that happened again I wouldn't be, but I was. I really didn't do anythin'." As she spoke, Rick smiled at her modesty and nodded approvingly.

"Alright, well I won't bother you any longer. You ladies have a good night." He tipped his head like a true southern gentleman and swaggered out to continue his rounds, leaving Maggie to look at her with sad, discerning eyes as though to see if she was lying, ready to mother her beyond all reason.

"I was thinkin' maybe I'd stay with you tonight, y'know, like old times-"

"No!" She coughed, catching herself, "No, no that's fine, Maggie. You never sleep as well when Glenn's not with you, I catch you up all restless almost anytime he has guard duty; everybody knows it. Just head off to bed. Daddy's already asleep, and Imma head in soon. Really, Maggie, you don't have to worry about me so much."

"… Alright. But Beth… you know if you need anythin', y'all can always come talk to me, right?" Beth bit her lip and nodded, feeling guilty, and bid her sister goodnight. It was not as though she did not want to talk to Maggie, really she did, but there was no way to without her overreacting. And to be fair, talking to her about the one thing she wanted to was just not an option.

Dear lord, Beth needed to get out of there. She needed to be around someone who wouldn't treat her like she was liable to break down over the littlest thing. She needed to find someone who would treat her like a goddamn adult, not like glass. She needed Daryl.

They had hardly talked since the night of the attack, when some travelling group of pillagers had made an ill-planned raid on their little stronghold. After that, it was difficult to find a moment to herself, everyone wanting to check in with her and make sure she was ok, as though she was about to start having flashbacks to 'Nam. She found herself missing the silent hunter's company for not the first time. Their conversation that night was stopped before it ever really begun, but Beth figured maybe that was a sign. Every time she tried to take a step with Daryl, they always ended up taking two steps back. Maybe they just were not meant to be more than what they were; maybe some force was telling her to stop looking a gift horse in the mouth. She was done pursuing things, ready to just let sleeping dogs lie, starting that night. She was going to go up and sit with him like always, and things were going to go back to normal. They were going to be happy, goddamn it. She could not risk losing him, not with how bad she needed him. Those recent events still so fresh in her mind taught her that much.

She should have been scared of him after it all, she knew that would have been logical- she watched him cut a man's hands off. But she wasn't. That man was going to hurt them, and his arms had been out and exposed… his hands on her. Daryl was protecting her, and he took no joy in what he had done.

He was not a monster, unlike a man she once knew.

It had all happened so fast. One moment they were in the canteen, collecting Judith and rushing down the hall, the next there was a group of bandits. They had managed to bust their way through the obstacles that had been put in their way, the gunshots necessary to do so alerting the rest of the prison. But until the others could reach the main annex, the mismatched duo was on their own. Daryl sprang into action, moving like a wild animal, arrows flying and knife swinging. She was distracted at the time, but in retrospect, Beth had never seen anything like it. He moved with ferocity and grace, heedless of his enemies. She had done what she could, armed with a small knife he slipped her just before the fight broke out, but it was difficult to battle intruders while keeping a baby safe in your arms.

Daryl had taken care of her.

That was commonplace it seemed, nowadays. She had come to rely on him for nearly everything, going to him when she was sad or afraid or in danger. Hell, she even when to him when she was happy. Anytime something happened, the first thought that entered Beth's mind was that she wanted to tell Daryl, wondered what Daryl would think. His had become the most important opinion in her world. Gritting her teeth as she ascended the ladder to the watch tower, Beth reminded herself that she would feel that way about a best friend.

Maybe if she referred to him as that enough, she could convince herself it was all he was.

Daryl heard her approach, expected it even. Honestly, he was a bit surprised she had waited so long to come see him, even if this was his first shift since the incident. Beth had a tendency of cornering him, seeking him out to talk even when things were most awkward between them. This was the longest they had gone without speaking since… since before he cared to think about. But she had not gone looking for him, had merely been pleasantly normal and polite. If he was being honest, that drew his eyes to her more than when she sought his attention.

She looked pretty that night for some reason, hair shining in the moonlight and skin pale and soft, aside from a bit of bruising still left over. The girl was pretty damn helpless with an arm full of baby and a room full of strange men, but she had not frozen. That impressed him. He knew she was made of tougher grit than everyone made her out to be, but to see it for himself was something entirely different. What she lacked in physical strength, she made up for in sheer will; case and point, the way she was handling things between the two of them. The girl did not give up, he gave her that. It was becoming more and more difficult to say no to, and Daryl knew he was going to get himself into trouble damn soon.

He eyed her warily as she sat down across form him, pulling a ratty old blanket around her.

All she said was, "Hey."

"… hey." He answered finally, wondering what her angle was.

"It's a nice night," she commented blandly, gazing up at the stars, "real quiet n' pretty." Fine, he figured, he would play along.

"It is. How's the gate comin' 'long?"

"It's good, all patched up. Tyreese came up with a real good plan to strengthen it, and it's kinda become his pet project." Daryl nodded approvingly, but said nothing. A silence spread between them, but she cut it off quickly.

"Judith's just starting to teethe, poor thing. I been givin' her wads of linen n' boilin' leather for her to chew on, but she's gotten really fussy."

"She's gettin' old… want me t'pick up somethin' on the next run, maybe find… I dunno, a baby chew toy or somethin'? They make those, don't they?"

She giggled, "Yeah, they do. If ya find one, sure, but I wouldn't go crazy; you're not gonna find anything that works better than what we have, unless you can figure out how to make ice."

He shrugged, "'Kay."

"… It's a good thing winter's comin'; we can put some spoons and leather out in the snow for her."

"Yeah, that'd work well, I think…" It was awkward, there was no other word for it. The remnants of their last conversation permeated the air almost physically. Beth licked her lips, desperate to fill the silence, hoping something, anything would flip some subconscious switch and make them forget their feelings. She wanted things to go back to normal, had sworn to herself that she would make them do so.

"Y'know what I miss?" She asked suddenly.

"What?" he grunted, unable to resist indulging her- that was always a weakness where she was concerned.

"Caramel. Right before all this happened, I was goin' through some weird phase where I wasn't eatin' it, cuz I was worried about getting fat n' was just sick of it after having waaay too much around Easter. Now, though, I'd kill for a piece, wouldn't even care if it was stale or hard or got stuck in my teeth… Don't you miss caramel, Daryl?" She looked over at him, and he shrugged, dropping down next to her.

"I never liked it."

"What? What do you mean 'you never liked it?'"

"Ain't one for sweets, n' that's all sugary crap."

"That, sir, is a travesty;

"I'm surprised you like it so damn much; ya act so sweet, y'd think it wouldn't melt none in your mouth." He teased, the two of them finally falling into a normal repertoire.

She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless, "Oh, very funny. At least tell me you liked chocolate. It's chocolate; everybody likes chocolate."

"That I ain't tellin'," he smirked, bumping her shoulder with his, "a man's gotta have his mysteries."

"Who are you?" She mocked. He chuckled, but she turned to him eagerly, "No, seriously; I don't know anythin' bout you or your life, not really… what'd ya do before all this? Like, as a job, I mean… what'd Merle do?"

Daryl glared, unhappy with the sudden turn their conversation had taken, "Merle was fresh outta prison, so he wasn't doing much." He watched her mental process, the way she nearly winced at the realization of just how stupid her question was. But to her credit, she didn't, instead kept her chin up and committed to it.

"Y'know, you should tell Rick to talk to him more 'bout how to keep this place secure. If he spent as much time in prison as y'all claim he has, then he prolly knows a thing or two about how to work 'em." His instinct was to snap at her, but he stopped- she had something of a point, he was loathe to admit. Beth Greene was a great many things, but stupid was not one of them. After a moment, he nodded.

"That ain't the worst idea I ever heard."

"My, my- high praise coming from the great Daryl Dixon, Mr. Sunshine himself. Maybe someday you'll tell me I don't suck. A girl can dream, can't she?" He resisted the urge to laugh out loud at her teasing, finding himself leaning into her warmth. The night was getting cold. Without hesitation, Beth tossed half the blanket around his shoulders, sharing in his warmth.

It was strange; she knew none of the conventional things about Daryl, that much was true, but then she knew the most intimate of details about him. She knew what his expressions meant, the way he liked to sleep when they were forced to camp before they found the prison. She knew when he wanted to be left alone and when he wanted company. She knew what made him cry, and for once, did not think tears on a man were emasculating. When he cried, it was for good reason, and she respected him for it. Beth knew things about Daryl that couples sometimes took years to learn, and she had yet to even kiss him.

God did she want to kiss him.

She had promised herself she would not continue to bother him, to pursue this childish fancy. But he was so warm beside her, his form so firm. It chased all her resolution away. He smelled like staleness and dirt and sweat, like they all did, but it was better on him somehow. Beneath the reek of filth, there was something much better that she could just barely detect. Or maybe it was her imagination; hell, how was she to remember after a year of global chaos… maybe her mind was playing tricks on her to make her want him. Regardless, it was working.

Beth stared up at him from the side, regarding him curiously. He was a lot older than her, she knew, but Daryl did not seem to have such old features. His eyes were a little sunken and tired, but his skin did not wrinkle. She liked his nose, oddly, its straight thinness and form. Honestly, she liked a lot about him. She even liked the way he had more willpower than her, staring steadfastly ahead for as long as he could. He felt her eyes on him but willed himself to look away, fighting a losing battle. He was tired; tired of fighting, tired of pretending he did not want to look at her when he did. Tired of pretending she did not fit like she was made to be next to him, cheesy and lame as it sounded. Blue eyes were drawn to pouty pink lips that made him lick his own, and something shifted between them.

His eyelids drooped, blue eyes shadowy as he gazed down at her.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He whispered, voice thick, but leaned in anyway. Beth's big eyes stared back up at him, shining from the night sky.

All she said was "Daryl," his name like a prayer falling from her sweet lips, making them look all that much sweeter, and he could no longer resist claiming them with his own. His hand moved up to cup the back of her head, her fists loosely clutching the front of his shirt. The angle was awkward, strained as they half turned to face each other and the blanket fell away. The bite of cold air on his arms forced Daryl's attention back to reality, back to the realization of what he was doing and with whom. He jerked away, their lips separating audibly.

"Mm- no, shit, no, that wasn't supposed to happen, just- god damn, shit..." He stood and moved away from her, pacing the small enclosure while muttering lewd curses to beneath his breathe and running an uneasy hand over his hair. He told himself he did a bad thing, even if it felt right.

"Daryl…" Beth called out softly, sitting on her knees away from him.

"God damn it!" He growled loudly, kicking the side of the wall with a heavy boot.

"Daryl." She spoke again as she stood, louder this time and more resolute. He looked at her darkly as she stood, eyes electric with grim thought.

"That shouldn't'a happened." He growled simply and she glared back.

"Why not?" The anger in his eyes softened for a moment, his brow furrowing as leaned against the wall, pressing his forearm against the stone and leaning his head on it.

"Shit… I'm sorry, Beth, I shouldn't have done that. It ain't right… you, uh, you ok?"

"Of course I'm ok! Why can't-"

He straightened out, all signs of sadness lost from his face, "You should go now, get to bed."

"I'm not-"

"I ain't askin'." His eyes flickered to her, lingering on her lips as he remembered the kiss. He could feel her doing the same.

"You can't just treat me like a child and refuse to let me talk every time somethin' happens between us you don't like. I think we both know I'm no little girl."

"That don't make me maulin' you in the guard tower right."

She snorted derisively, getting annoyed, "I'd hardly call that you 'mauling' me; wasn't nothin' I didn't want." That was true. Time had seemed to slow down has his lips descended upon hers, an experience she had long wondered about. The short taste had only left her wanting more, kept her thinking of kissing him again.

"Ain't the point."

"So that's it," she said, leaning against the wall, "we aren't even gonna try this?"

"This was… this was a mistake, Beth, a long, cold, lonely night. Ain't nothin' to try." He willed his voice to be cold, callous. The way a man like him might dismiss a girl like her back in the old world. But most men like him wouldn't be dismissing her, instead jumping at the chance to take things as far as they would go, and she'd be guaranteed a world of hurt- maybe physical, definitely mental. That was why it couldn't happen. But his voice did not come across cool and uncaring. It was gruff but uncertain in itself, like he was asking her to leave more than telling her.

Beth bit her lip and took a step forward, looking up at him with those big eyes that seemed to constantly hold his attention. Damn it all to hell, she was gonna be the death of him.

"You know that's not true. You kissed me, not the other way around."

"You instigated it." He pointed out meekly. It sounded weak even to his ears.

"But I didn't force nothin'; that was all on you." She was smiling softly now, moving closer. They kissed again. He did not even realize he was the one to initiate it until he pulled away to find her smiling victoriously.

"Your pa, he's a decent shot, and your sister's a spitfire. I'm takin' my life in my hands with this."

"Don't worry," Beth deadpanned, "I'll protect you."

Perhaps he was a bad influence on her, Daryl thought, as he was yanked down to her smirking lips.

R_S: Eek, the fist kiss! I got such a sense of satisfaction once I wrote them finally kissing haha. So the romance has begun! But, will it be smooth sailing? ;)

Let me know your opinions on them getting together and all that... I don't love the conversation leading up to it, honestly, but whatever. Thank you, my lovelies!