Blaine felt like he'd been sitting in Dumbledores office for hours, slouching in the hard wooden chair on the other side of Dumbledore desk, eyes paralysed onto the cracked floor. Dumbledore was sitting at the other end of the desk, taking turns between pondering his thoughts, glancing over to Blaine and most often grabbing a Bertie Botts flavoured bean and cringing at the taste. Blaine kept on just replaying the memories over and over in his head, like a broken record. They were more vivid, more terrifying than ever, just making him feel worse and worse the more he thought about it. He was stuck in a living nightmare. And Dumbledore just kept on sitting there, sucking on his sherbet lemons, not saying a word.
And it really confused him.
"Sir?" Blaine said, avoiding eye contact with his voice cracking from all the crying "Why aren't you doing what everyone else always does when they find out about my life before here? Why aren't you telling me it's not my fault Ryan died"
Dumbledore reached over to his sweet jar and poured out the majority of them onto his desk "There is no point if someone truly believes in something, to try and contradict it in a matter of seconds, if anything it just reaffirms their belief even more" Dumbledore said calmly, popping a sherbet lemon in his mouth
"So then sir, what am I doing here?" Blaine asked, now even more confused
"I don't know Blaine, what are we doing here?" smiled Dumbledore, offering Blaine some sweets
"Well..I guess we're having a bit of a midnight feast I guess sir" Blaine asked feeling a little uncomfortable, making Dumbledore chuckle with delight
"Ahh, midnight feasts! In my time as a student here we had several up in the dorms, one time I ate a sweet so faulty it made carrots grow out of my head"
Blaine smiled a little, despite the overwhelming pain still vibrating through his body. He needed to let it out, it was just building up inside of him,the pressure was becoming too much for him to deal with. So for the first time in the whole evening he made eye contact with Dumbledore, who smiled and gave him an encouraging nod.
"What do you want me to say? For the past year or so, I've been battling with my mind's demons by suppressing them, waiting for myself to shatter so I could just suppress them further to keep strong. I don't want go back to that, but I feel like I deserve it"
"Blaine, no-one deserves to be miserable, no matter who they are and what they do" Dumbledore said softly
Blaine frowned, "even murderers?"
Dumbledore sighed "Blaine, you are not a murderer, it will take you time to realise that.."
"Well I'm certainly not the victim, I'm not the one who's dead!" snapped Blaine
"Blaine, dear boy" croaked Dumbledore "I'm going to tell you something I said to someone rather special some years ago, someone rather like you- Do not pity the dead. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love"
Blaine sniffed and nodded silently, this wasn't really helping, Dumbledore telling him pain above Ryan's was just too much to ask. "Sir, do you mind if I go to bed now? I'm exhausted"
Dumbledore looked at his watch "Oh dear!" He exclaimed "Is that the time already? I better feed my goldfish! Blaine, You best be off to bed, I've had some dreamless sleep potion sent up to your room. Shall we continue this conversation tomorrow? Say 7?"
Blaine nodded silently, he couldn't exactly say no.
"Get some rest dear boy, sleep in if you need to" Dumbledore smiled waving Blaine out of his office.
The next few days felt weird, it was as if Blaine had forgotten everything that had happened and had just gone back to being the problemless comforting boyfriend Kurt had known before everything had happened. Yes they'd got back together and their relationship was just as perfect and exciting as it always had been but still Blaine refused to talk about his problems. It worried Kurt, he needed to show Blaine that he could talk to him about anything. But maybe after the Quidditch match and planning the insane party with Dwight which might not even happen, they were both so busy at the moment and he didn't want to stress Blaine out. Although he may not show it Kurt could see his pain, plus he knew he wasnt sleeping, the amount of times he asked Dwight for concealor in the morning ( Kurt thought it best not to ask why Dwight had concealer) was a dead giveaway. Kurt had consulted Brittany and Santana about what happened and what to do but Santana gave him the very unhelpful advice of "just give him a new Bowie and a bumper pack of hair gel" and Brittany just shrugged and told him to do what Santana said cos she knew best. Kurt was stumped. But he guessed Dumbledore had it under control seeing as Blaine had to go see him practically every night. Honestly, Kurt swore he was getting grey hairs with all this stress, which is why, Dwight kept on telling him, he needed a party!
Blaine walked slowly down the moonlit corridor. He didn't really feel like going to bed, it was too late to sleep and he was still stumped from his yet another chat from Dumbledore which largely involved knitting patterns. I mean seriously, just because he's gay doesn't mean he's into knitting. So he decided to go on a walk instead. Still, he was sick of wallowing in misery, he needed to get over what happened the other night and focus on what's good in his life. He has Kurt and more friends than he can count on his fingers, plus if anything good had come out of the other night, at least Snape was staying off his back for a while. He refused to even so much as look at Blaine all week, greatly confusing Sebastian who felt it was necessary to make up for Snape's newfound indifference. The worst thing was that Sebastian realised the thing that bothered Blaine the most wasn't the insulting remarks, it was when Sebastian would "accidentally" get too close or brush his hand across his thigh. Honestly, Blaine felt like it could class as sexual assault.. Stop it, he thought to himself, you know what happens when you start brooding, you get depressed and then you're a complete misery to be around. The corridor was getting so dark, he could hardly see the end it anymore cos there were no windows. Plus it was really really cold, stupid England weather.
When he turned the corner of the charms corridor, he saw someone shivering underneath the archway, curled into a ball, presumably because they were cold. Blaine wasn't sure what to do, on one hand he couldn't leave them there cos they were probably freezing to death and they looked upset, but on the other hand seeing a stranger lurking around in the middle of the night when everyone's asleep can never be good, despite the fact that's what Blaines been doing for the last half an hour. Blaine proceeded cautiously, only hearing the slight crunch of dirt underneath his shoes.
"Hey" Blaine said reaching out for the persons shoulders "are you ok?"
"Blainey? Is that you" said a feminine sounding voice jerking him into a hug, she sounded familiar "Thank god you found me, I bet Santana is getting really worried about me now"
"Brittany?" Blaine asked uncertainly
"Well yeah silly who else would it be?" chuckled Brittany
Blaine pulled away from the hug, and took his cloak off to drape around Brittany's shoulders.
"Thanks" she smiled sadly "I swear my teeth were going blue just then, it was not good"
"Britt, honey, why are you in a cold corridor on a dark winters night?" Blaine smiled, he liked Brittany a lot, she was so untainted by anything to do with hatred or revenge or jealousy, she was just the nicest person he'd ever met. She reminded him a bit of Jane in Pride and Prejudice.
"Oh god" she sighed "well this is really embarrassing but me and Sebastian were playing hide and seek cos he said he wanted to make amends with me and Santana so I went to hide in the hole under the whomping willow, but I guess he forgot to come and look for me. And then it started to get dark and it was really hard to get out of the tree so I ended up hurting myself and now I can't walk very well. I only made it to here. I think I might have twisted my ankle"
Blaine's blood boiled, he honestly felt like punching Sebastian again. Seriously why would Sebastian go for someone as innocent as Brittany especially facing the wrath of Santana. Blaine honestly didn't understand what was wrong with that boy.
"It's ok I can carry you back to gryffindor it's not far from here" Blaine smiled
Brittany hugged him again "I'm so glad Kurt has you, you guys are so beautiful together. I wish you guys a lifetimes worth of
happiness and chocolate!" She grinned
Blaine scooped Brittany up in his arms, she was a lot heavier than he'd anticipated, must be all that muscle from cheerleading. Plus she is taller than him.
"Are you ok Blaine? You're panting quite a lot, you sound like my Aunt Mary after she's eaten a particularly chewy 16 ounce steak"
"I'm..fine" Blaine panted, feeling his cheeks burn a fiery hot red. It's ok, there was only 2 flights of stairs to go.
After a particularly vicious argument with the Fat Lady about why she should let Brittany in, one which Blaine was surprised didn't wake up the entire castle, Blaine plonked Brittany down on the red velvet plush sofa in the common room. He turned on the light to see several scratches and bruises on Brittany's arms, legs and face.
"Oh my god, Britt!" Blaine exclaimed with a hushed voice "You didn't tell me you were this badly hurt! We should go to Madam Pomprey!"
"No, Blaine, I'm fine" Brittany shrugged "It'll heal, plus I'm tired, can't we just go in the morning?"
Blaine was about to say no but who could say no to Brittany's adorable puppy dog eyes. "Fine" he said rolling his eyes, but I'm sleeping down here with you to make sure you don't have concussion or anything"
Brittany smiled "I owe you Blaine, thank you so much. And I'll give you some of my amazing Brittany knowledge in return- you should talk to Kurt about what you went through, he feels like you're becoming closed off again and he wants to share everything with you"
Blaine frowned "He told you?"
Brittany sighed "well of course he told us, he needed comforting, you guys have had a rough couple of days. So here what I suggest. Tommorrow is a hogs mead day so you should take him to the hogs head, tell him about everything you're feeling and have a nice romantic getaway"
"But Britt" Blaine sighed sadly "What if when he finds out about all my insecurities and the things that make me weak he won't like me anymore"
Brittany chuckled softly "Blaine! That's ridiculous! Kurt loves you, he loves all of you including your insecurities and wants to help you with them, you just need to open up to him, he'd much prefer that rather than you just letting it manifester inside until it explodes"
Blaine smiled "You know Britt, that actually makes a lot of sense, thank you. I will take your advise and take him out on a date tommorow. But as for now, I think we both need our beauty sleep. Night night Britt" he whispered turning the light off
"Night night Blainey" Brittany grinned at her new found close friend, dropping off into a peaceful oblivion...
A/N- awww, we do love some adorable Britt now an again. I promise next chapter to be entirely dedicated to Kurt and Blaine, for all those including myself suffering from withdrawal. I still can't believe what happened with Blina in the glee episode last night, Tina was doing some major creeping there, I was literally sitting there shouting at the screen 'stop, wtf r u doing?!' I do feel like Blaine is leading her on tho, especially seeing as he knows she fancies him, I dunno, just can't wait for next week, Klaine make out woop woop! Anyway catch ya chillings later!
Love from Kate xx