Disclaimer- I do not own Higher Ground I do however own Lexi and Trent and other characters you don't know!
Authors Note- This is set around the time Daisy's mom dies. About one month after the solos. This chapter is sort of a filler and a setup for upcoming chapters. Enjoy!
"When did the Cliffhanger table become eating disorder central?" Shelby looked over from the food line where she and Scott were standing.
"I have no clue," Scott said quietly glad that he and Shelby were talking again.
"Hello Clara," Shelby smirked as she sat her tray down on the Cliffhanger's table.
"It's Cora," The thin black haired girl said as she cut up her dinner.
"Sorry," Shelby threw Lexi an evil glance before turning her attention to Cora who was right next to her, "If you stick around long enough you might get a nick name like Bones here."
"I prefer Cora," She said as she divided up her plate into sections trying to ignore Shelby's attempts to get a rise out of her.
"I don't know you kind of look like a Wasp to me," Shelby continued despite the nasty looks she was getting from everyone except Scott.
"Cut it out Shelby," Lexi said firmly feeling too tired to be angry and too upset to just sit still.
"It's ok Lex, let her call me what she wants, in the end I'll still be in control," Cora smirked in Shelby's direction as she laid down her fork.
"Control? How about dead!" Shelby shot back sure that that would end the conversation.
"Better dead and thin than fat and biter. What are you pushing these days Shelby 120? 125... Tisk tisk," Cora shot Shelby a disapproving look before she got up and emptied her still full plate.
"Thanks Shelby," Lexi got up and emptied her plate followed by Juliette.
Juliette and Lexi followed Cora to the Wind Dancer's dorm. Juliette fell behind a couple of times stopping to exam the flowers slowly but surely pushing through the hard ground winter had left for them.
The dorm was empty when they entered, Cora heading straight to the restroom.
"She was just trying to push your buttons a little," Juliette spoke up over the sound of the flushing toilet.
"I know," Cora turned on the warm water and rinsed and dried her face as if what she had just done was perfectly natural, "It didn't work."
Juliette eyed the bathroom for a moment after Cora had taken a seat on her bed.
"How do you do it?" Lexi asked half jealous and half in awe of her friend.
"You can use it if you like, it's not like we don't understand," Cora offered to Juliette ignoring Lexi's question for a moment.
"I shouldn't," Juliette put her hands on her stomach which was covered by her favorite light pink sweater, "I mean…"
"If you want to go ahead if not that's your business," Cora pushed ever so slightly if Lexi hadn't learn to read between the lines she would have never caught the subtle reverse psychology being used.
Juliette looked down at her stomach under her sweater before quietly excusing herself to use the restroom.
"How do you do it?" Lexi asked again astounded by how thin Cora had stayed without raising many suspicions.
"The same way you have," Cora smirked as if she had a secret.
"What aren't you telling me?" Lexi smiled back glad that she had a friend who she knew one-hundred percent understood the way she felt about food.
Juliette opened the bathroom door, her smiling face a little paler than it had been a few minutes earlier, "What did I miss?"
"Cora was just about to tell me a big secret," Lexi joked as Juliette took a seat on the bed next to Cora's.
"I love secrets!" Juliette smiled innocently.
Cora mumbled a few numbers as she grabbed a small shoe box out of the small gap between her bed and her desk. "Same rules apply for this as the weights, tell no one where you got them, and if Peter gets mine because of you you're replacing them."
Lexi and Juliette nodded though confusion rang clearly on their faces. Cora opened the box to reveal twelve little boxes.
"What are they?" Lexi asked both excited and guilty she knew whatever they were had to be against the rules.
"My sister brought them for me yesterday, premium laxatives," Cora smiled proud of herself and her stash, "Twelve boxes so four each, there's about 24 pills to a box."
"That's pretty pricey," Juliette recalled her brief laxative dealing career and how much she could make with a stash like that.
"My sister works for a drug rep company so she got them free and she understands what it's like… to be in control," Lexi pondered over the phrase 'in control' as Cora continued, "I have no trouble sharing."
"I really shouldn't," Juliette said unsure of herself, "I've messed myself up on laxatives one too many times."
"That's fair, what about you?" Cora knew Lexi couldn't resist.
"If it will keep Scott off my back and my weight down, than I'm in," The addict in Lexi took over taking two pills from one of her six boxes and stuck the rest in her bag.
"What's going on with that whole mess?" Cora asked as she took four pills out of one of her packs.
"I should go, we have group in fifteen minutes," Juliette got up and headed towards the door, "I promise I won't tell."
"I'll be there in a minute," Lexi promised as Juliette opened the screen door. She waited until she heard the screen door close again before she answered Cora, "Basically nothing, he's been watching me like a hawk, so I've had to be extra careful, and as I know he hasn't told Trent yet."
"That's a bummer," Cora took a look at Lexi noticing her thin hands and face and tried to imagine what was underneath the layers she was wearing to try and hide her weight loss. "How did you do it? How did you keep losing even though they've been weighing you and Scott pretending to be Peter?"
"Well," Lexi started jokingly, "I did lots of stuff which I promise to tell you later. I have to get to group."
Cora made a puppy dog face that was good but in no way could compare to Trent's, "Tomorrow before breakfast I need to know."
"Will do and thanks again," Lexi got up popped another two pills and then put the opened box in her bag before heading towards the door.
Lexi felt powerful as she walked into the main lodge, no matter how frail her body was she felt strong. She was glad to have Cora as a friend and hoped Trent didn't mind all the time her and her first real friend other than him were spending together.
"Good now that everyone is here we can begin," Peter smiled though he clearly looked a little more tired than usual. Lexi knew that look it's the sort of tired look you get when a parent or someone you love dies. Lexi tried to push away the memories of the day Peter's dad died at Horizon, she was into much of a good mood to let that ruin it.
Lexi took the open seat next to Trent as she tried to avoided worried glances from both Scott and Juliette. Peter talked for awhile before having the group pass the staff, Lexi was rather grateful when Peter dismissed them early.
"Lexi, hold on a sec," Peter caught up with Lexi and Trent as they started out the door.
"Whatever it is Peter I didn't do it," Lexi said with a terrified look on her face.
"Trent why don't you go ahead and Lex will catch up with you in a minute," Peter smiled at Trent who gave Lexi a quick look before leaving them alone.
"Ok? Am I in trouble?" Lexi asked trying to figure out how Peter might have found out about the laxatives.
"No you're not in trouble," Peter smirked as Lexi breathed a small sigh of relief, "Though I am worried about you," Peter motioned for them to take a seat at one of the empty tables in the dining hall. "Since you've been back things haven't been easy for you, you haven't really participated in groups, you haven't opened up in our private sessions, and I haven't heard you or Trent play once."
"It's just been a little hard, with the trial, and my mother, and restrictions and other stuff," Lexi looked down at her feet realizing how empty she felt, that somehow a piece of her had been lost in the cage. 'so much for my good mood,' she thought.
"I understand Lex, which is why I'm giving you this challenge… I want you to right a song or a poem about all of it, about who you are, about where you've been, and maybe where you're going. It won't be easy I know but hopefully it will give you a safe way to get this junk that's building up out of you," Peter waited for Lexi's typical peeved response and was surprised when she simply nodded her head in agreement.
"I think you may be right Peter, when's it due?" Lexi asked almost excited about the challenge.
"Well I have to go out of town on Thursday afternoon and today is Monday so how about Wednesday?" Peter asked hopeful.
"Sure," Lexi plastered a large fake smile on her face as her stomach began cramping, "Can I go now?"
"Sure Lex," Peter smiled as Lexi shook off her cramps and headed towards the Cliffhangers' dorms hoping to catch up to Trent.
Lexi walked mindfully, aware of every breath she took, every time the wind brushed a strand of hair into her face, and of every painful cramp. She found no sight of Trent as she came to the door of the girl's cabin. Inside Lexi could hear her bunkmates giggling, Lexi stood outside a moment afraid they might be laughing about her.
"I thought you don't do readings on yourself," Lexi heard Shelby putting someone down in typical Shelby fashion.
"It's going to be a full moon tonight, it's too tempting to pass up," Lexi heard Daisy's sweetly dark voice and knew she had a wide smile on her face.
Lexi walked through the door quickly without saying hello to any of her roommates. She swiftly and subtly put some of the laxatives in her desk drawer and a few in her pocket making sure none of her roommates were watching.
"You want me to do a reading for you Lex?" Daisy asked as Lexi finished emptying her book bag.
"No thanks," Lexi smiled as she headed towards the door, "I'm gonna go find Trent."
"Suit yourself," Daisy smiled mischievously as Lexi stepped through the door.
Lexi opened the door and stepped back in shock as she watched Peter pacing back and forth in front of their door.
"You coming or going?" Lexi asked smiling as she tried to put the cramps out of her mind before going to find Trent.
"Is Daisy in there?" Peter asked as Lexi stepped outside.
"Yep, and everyone was decent when I left," Lexi smiled trying to lighten Peter's obviously down mood.
"Make sure you don't miss curfew," Peter smiled weakly before turning to knock on the door Lexi had just left.
"Will do," Lexi chuckled hoping Peter was just tired and that's why he looked so upset.
She walked slowly to the guys' dorm her thoughts torn between the cramping and Trent. As soon as she was sure Peter couldn't see her Lexi pulled the pills out of her pocket and popped three hoping that would make the cramping stop a little.
"Anyone home?" Lexi joked as she knocked on their door. Lexi grabbed her stomach hoping that the cramp would pass before one of the guys let her in, it was obvious the pills hadn't helped the way she had hoped.
"Hold on a sec," Ezra shouted as he and the others fumbled around before opening the door, "Come on in."
"Thanks," Lexi smiled as she took a seat in the Cliffhanger boys' sitting area, "Is Trent here?"
"He's Showering," Auggie said setting his tag book on his bed and looking up to smile at Lexi.
"You wanna go for a walk Lex?" Scott asked putting on his shoes; he knew this might be the only time he could get Lexi alone to go over their arrangement.
By the look in his eyes Lexi knew she had no choice, "Sure."
"Where do you want Trent to meet you guys?" Ezra asked curious as to why Lexi and Scott might be buddy buddy all of a sudden.
"Tell him I'll see him tomorrow," Lexi looked away ashamed of herself.
"You sure that's a good idea Pick," Auggie asked feeling uneasy about Scott and Lexi not wanting Trent to find them.
"We won't be long," Scott stared Auggie down for a moment before he and Lexi headed towards the door.
"That can't be good," Ezra chimed in moving his gaze from the door towards the bathroom.
The moon rose slowly, its full sphere a deep yellow. Lexi kept her eye's glued to the moon as they walked in the cool early spring air. Neither one spoke until they reached the dimly lit woodshed, both were nervous but Lexi knew she was the only one who had a reason to be.
"You don't look any better," Scott skipped all the silly pleasantries and got down to the deal they had struck a month earlier.
"I feel better," Lexi joked trying to put the ever growing cramps out of her mind.
"I'm not sure how you're doing it," Scott said angrily, "You eat at meals but still you've been losing weight."
"You said it yourself I've been eating at meals," Lexi smiled she knew he would never find out her secret, "That was the main condition, that I start eating. So you need to drop this."
"I can't Lex you're shrinking into nothing," Scott pleaded with her surprising not only her but himself with how much he cared if she lived or died.
"I did what you wanted and you and Shelby are happy again so leave me alone," Lexi headed towards the door anger coming off of her thin frame in waves.
"What about Trent? What will you starving yourself to death do to him?" Scott asked desperately trying to get Lexi to hear him.
"Trent is the one I'm worrying about, He's the reason you have to keep this quite," Lexi turned to face Scott, her anger suddenly gone.
"How do you think he's gonna feel when you die?" Scott wondered out loud before looking up at Lexi, "How can you lie to him?"
"I have to lie to him for his own good," Lexi pleaded ignoring his first question.
"What are you talking about?" Scott suddenly felt a lot angrier than he had in a long time.
"Trent is not doing so well," Lexi started taking in Scott's angry expression, "I need to be in control of me so I can take care of him. He couldn't handle this."
"He's stronger than you think," Scott huffed unsure of his anger.
"No he's not," Lexi said firmly, "We're both falling apart, one piece at a time…" Lexi paused trying to keep herself together, "I'm giving him what small pieces I have left, that's all I can do."
"Lexi," Scott stopped suddenly unsure of his argument.
"Just please leave me alone," Lexi said in a numb tone before leaving the shed.
Lexi spotted Trent as soon as she got outside, "Lexi wait!" Scott shouted as he grabbed Lexi's arm, not to hurt her but to try to help her in his own desperate way.
"What are you doing?!" Trent screamed as he ran over to where they were.
Scott immediately let go of Lexi's arm as Trent stared him down, "Let us explain Trent!"
"Lex?" Trent asked taking a step back from Scott's face turning to Lexi for answers.
"It's for sure not what it looks like," Lexi grabbed Trent by the hand and almost began to cry as Trent pulled his hand from hers.
"What is it then?" Trent screamed unsure of everything and everyone. Scott watched Trent closely sure that Lexi was at least right about him not being well.
"I love you," Lexi began tears swelling in her eyes, "Scott wants to have me put back on restrictions I was trying to convince him that I'm fine."
Trent thought over which scenario made sense, his girl friend who was sexually tortured going off to have sex with someone she didn't like or one of their friends trying to force her to get help. Trent took a seat on the ground as if he were breaking in two. After an extremely awkward moment of silence Trent finally raised his head, "Why does he think you need help? What don't I know?"
"You know everything I know," Lexi smiled taking a seat next to him trying to hide the tears that were trying to force their way out, "You've seen me eating right?"
Trent sat for awhile in silence, before looking over at Scott, "Thank you," Trent smiled, his anger vanishing as quickly as it came on, "For trying to help."
"She's sick," Scott said softly as Lexi threw him a warning glance.
"She's eating," Trent said calmly as he got up from the ground, before helping Lexi up.
"She's lying!" Scott raised his voice upset at how blind Trent was.
"Just worry about you and Shelby," Lexi said as coldly as she could.
"This is bull," Scott shouted before storming off towards the docks.
Lexi stared at the ground for a moment silently thanking God that Trent had believed her.
"I love you too," Trent smiled slightly confused by his own emotions. He innocently slipped his hand in hers, his eyes wandering from their hands to meet hers.
Her emerald eyes drew him in and for a moment he forgot the accusations Scott had made.
"Thank you," Lexi smiled at him as she began to lead them towards the dorm.
"We're a mess," Trent spoke up as they stopped in front of the Cliffhanger girls' dorm.
"Typically," Lexi laughed noticing the sudden light shinning from Trent's eyes. She had missed that since they'd both been back at Horizon, she had been afraid that the sparkle in his beautiful hazel eyes had gone out forever.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Trent asked his eyes still lost in Lexi's.
"Of course," Lexi giggle scoffed pretending to be offended.
Trent laughed and then pulled Lexi close taking advantage of the sudden clarity in his head. Before she could say anything he put his lips to hers parting them slightly making sure she knew this kiss was different, that he was different.
Lexi surprised herself by not pulling away automatically. The moment his lips touched hers the rest of her crazy day was erased. The firmness of his lips made Scott and Peter and Cora a distant memory, there was only the two of them.
Trent pulled his face back slowly hoping beyond hope that Lexi understood how much he loved her.
"Goodnight," Lexi said once she gained her composure. She turned towards the door hoping sleep would help the cramps all the craziness of the last hour had made her forget about.
"Wait," Trent grabbed Lexi's arm gently and waited for her to turn back to him, "How was that?"
"It was scary but good," Lexi smiled trying to ignore the cramps that had returned with a vengeance, "Really good."
"Good," Trent smiled as he noticed the dark circles under lights out, "Get some sleep tonight Sweet-Potato."
"I'll try," Lexi joked as she headed inside.
Trent watched her disappear into the dorm before heading to his own dorm.
"Scott back?" Trent asked as he grabbed a small box from his bottom desk drawer and his shower supplies.
"Not yet," Ezra looked up from his book wondering if Trent had took their advice to go find Lexi and Scott.
"How was your walk?" Auggie asked wondering the same thing.
"It was nice," Trent smiled remembering his and Lexi's kiss as he made his way to the bathroom, "Lexi and I had a nice walk."
Trent locked the door behind himself and turned on the water for his shower, he watched the water flowing freely for a moment before deciding he needed to take care of business first. He took a few steps towards the small box on top of his clothes. Thinking over the way he had actually felt things, things he thought he had lost, Trent pulled the small white pills out of his pocket and placed them in the box with the rest of the pills for the last three weeks. He knew it was dangerous but had to believe it was good as well, he would do anything to be normal for Lexi. He had to believe somehow that him not taking the pills and being normal would help him help her.