Author's note: just so you are prepared: there is self-harm in this chapter! Wicked wicked Dolor Mortis Curse has finally managed something seriously distressing, but I'll not spoil the content for you. Read with a smile, and tell me what you think of it :)!
I've done better, but this was such a hardship to write … which is the reason why it took so long for me to update.
Chapter 50 – Where will this end?
''Okay, so what do we know?'' Ashei began their meeting in the light of the few candles that were lit around the walls of the sanctuary. Due to its nearly complete lack of windows – except for a small one next to the door and the hole in the roof that had been rashly repaired with wooden planks – the enclosed clay building was so dark inside that the inmates could barely find the torches as they breathed them to life.
They sat in a circle on the ground, every one looking at the others with hope and worry in their eyes. As the warrior girl spoke up, all the gazes turned to her.
''We know that it is a very ancient curse, dating from as early as the Great Sealing War, that causes depression, seizures and drives somebody to suicide.'' Renado narrated quickly, earning both stern nods from the Resistance Group as well as a loud gasp from Midna. She had not followed the lecture earlier. ''What? But Link would never do that!'' she shouted, standing up in anger while clenching her fists.
''We know that!'' Ashei stepped in before Renado could utter a kinder reply. ''What is more important now is how to beat it, suicide or not. Anyone an idea?''
Even her fellow group members were a little taken aback by her straight-to-the-point question. While she looked at every one of them in turn with a stern look, Midna frowned while she thought hard. The Great Sealing War was familiar to her.
''What exactly happened during the Great Sealing War?'' she asked, earning a furious side-glance from Ashei to have completely changed the topic.
Renado, Auru and Shad all started in unison, causing Ashei to crinkle her nose in fury as a few precious seconds were wasted to agree who would share his amount of knowledge. After Renado and Shad backed away, it was Auru who was granted the honour. ''The Great Sealing happened aeons ago, at the very beginning of Hyrule's history. After the three Goddesses returned to the heavens, they left a relic claimed to hold their united power in one artefact. This is known as the Triforce.''
''So the Triforce is the extend of the Goddesses' power?'' Midna asked incredulously. What Link held on his left arm was now even greater than she had ever imagined. Auru nodded, taking out a pencil from his pouch and turning it around to draw the famed triangle into the dust. Three triangles, with two at the bottom and one over the others, to form the big, perfect triangle. ''The uppermost is the symbol of Power, relic of Din. The left one is Wisdom, from the Goddess Nayru. Right is–''
''Courage.'' Midna interfered, looking at it in awe. ''The power of Farore.''
''Exactly. The Triforce, in its whole form, was hidden away in what we call the Sacred Realm. To the one who touches it, it grants a wish, be it good or bad. And as word of the Sacred Realm spread over the land, and the omnipotent Triforce within, the people of Hyrule seeked to obtain this power, haunted by greed. One clan especially, who performed powerful black magic in order to invade the Sacred Realm and steal the Triforce for themselves, were called the Dark Interlopers.''
''My ancestors …'' Midna muttered, and clapped a hand over her mouth quickly after while looking at Auru, expecting him to make a sudden, shocked outburst. But the wise man simply nodded, resuming his tale. ''At the climax of the war, the Goddesses ordered the Light Spirits to intervene, and seal the Dark Interlopers away within what you know as your homeland, the Twilight Realm. There, their evil wills would be purged, never to feel greed or lust for power again.''
''Great, but what has this to do with the Dolor Mortis Curse?'' Ashei asked in an annoyed voice. ''For what I remember, the power of the Dark Interlopers has been sealed away as well. How is it possible for Link to be haunted by this curse then, if the power that conjured it is sealed?''
Midna shook her head, suddenly struck by a wave of guilt. ''No, the power is not sealed any more. Link and I were instructed by the Light Spirits to reclaim it in order to beat the King of Twilight. But … it has been taken from us.''
Confused and shocked looks turned in her direction, letting her cringe on her seat. ''What?'' Auru burst out. ''Who took it?''
At once, anger swept up in Midna's mind. So it had not been Ganondorf giving Zant the power to put this ancient curse on Link, but Zant himself using their stolen pieces of the Fused Shadow. ''Zant. He overpowered us and took the pieces with himself.'' she said through clenched teeth.
Frustrated sighs and grunts came as answer as everyone either shook their heads, or lifted their palms to the heavens, of leaned back in disbelief. Only Shad seemed to be enthusiastic. ''Well, at least we know now where it comes from.''
''Yeah, but that doesn't help us much.'' Ashei snapped at him. ''We were initially in search for something to beat it. Does anyone have an idea for that?''
It was clear that her mocking and insulting manner of speaking disgruntled the others around her, especially Renado who was not accustomed to her gruff ways yet. Shad just folded his arms and looked away, offended, so it was Auru who answered her, his voice ever calm and settled, yet a little desperate sounding. ''This book said that as the soldiers of Hyrule were struck by those arrows which had been cursed, they suffered unbearable torture and often bled to death because the physicians tried to sew up their wounds. This was the case with Link's wound, am I right?'' He turned to Renado, who nodded sternly.
''Yes, I could suture all the other wounds except for that one, where it immediately started to bleed profusely.''
Auru nodded back, his chin resting between his fingers as he listened to the healer with a frown on his forehead. ''And the only thing that defeated the Curse was the Light Water. We did that, and it worked.''
''Auru, what's your point?'' Rusl asked, irritated. ''It did not work! Link is suffering only more now, and there is no way to help him any more!''
Renado shook his head. ''No, Rusl, that is not true. There is always a counter-curse to a malediction, such is the oldest rule of magic. We just have to search for it.''
''But where?'' Rusl burst out, throwing his hands into the air. ''We know nothing of it! And if we take what this book told us, the scar the Dolor Mortis Curse leaves cannot be healed, not even by Light.''
''Rusl, you didn't listen to me.'' Renado's voice never lost its calm, but the desperate last reply from his old friend had shocked him deeply. ''A curse cannot exist without a counter-curse. If it did, it would not be balanced, and would thus not work.''
''A scar is not a curse, Renado, but the trace of an old wound that will always remain.'' Rusl shot back. ''Link is not infested by a curse any more, so there is no way to heal it!''
''I …'' Renado started, but relapsed to silence as he considered the words of the blacksmith. With his awfully simple, but accurate reasoning, he had actually voiced the deepest fear Renado had not dared to speak out aloud, that a scar was indeed no curse, but the reminder of a wound that had been initially healed. They had done that by pouring the Light Water onto Link's infested cut, beating the Curse but at the same time leaving the unavoidable scar of a big wound. But then why, by Nayru, was this scar causing depression and suicide? He had yet to hear from a regular scar with such characteristics.
He put this question into the room, but no one had an answer for him. ''I'm still thinking that this is no scar, but the Dolor Mortis Curse still lingering somewhere in Link's system.'' he said, now getting frustrated with their obvious loss of confidence. ''And you won't be able to convince me that it is anything else! If this is a normal scar, what is this depression supposed to be then?''
''Renado, you should know that a scar can hurt sometimes, no?'' Auru interjected calmly, and his tone tried desperately to reason with the healer's adamant look. ''Yes, of course. Phantom pains.''
''There you have your answer.''
Disbelieving, the healer stared at Auru. He could truly not believe that his life-long friend, who he had always known to be the most belligerent and enthusiastic man he had ever encountered, was suddenly drawn back and pessimistic only because a stupid book allowed no room for speculation and ideas. ''You cannot truly believe in this book!'' he said, completely baffled. ''Only because someone has written this ages ago it doesn't mean it is true. What do you intend to do? Tell Link that he is doomed? That there is no way to free him? You cannot do that to him!''
Midna nodded eagerly and subconsciously approached Renado a little to share in his angry glare. Auru looked down, staying silent, Rusl sighed and Shad fumbled uncomfortably with his glasses. Ashei had her arms folded and seemed to think hard, but in the end she just slumped her shoulders and joined Auru staring at the ground.
''I don't believe this!'' Renado shouted and stood up. ''I have been told that you, Ashei, would not give up so easily.'' She glanced up at him, frowning in offence. ''I'm not giving up! It's just that I have no idea how you want to beat something that cannot be beaten. It just seems impossible.''
''It is only impossible in our heads. Link did so much for us on his journey, he put his life on the line for us to have peace once more, and all you want to do for him if tell him that we cannot help him?''
This time, it was Auru's turn to stand up in protest. ''Renado, don't you understand? This Curse is too powerful for us! Ages ago, no one managed to find a counter-curse even as they tried. The best and toughest soldiers of the land succumbed to it! It cannot be beaten, don't you see it?!''
His loud bellow let everyone in the room flinch back, even Ashei looked up at him with fright on her face. Renado stared daggers back at the bearded man, soon turning on his heels and stomping out of the sanctuary. But just before he closed the door behind himself, he turned an eye towards the remaining inmates and growled. ''Link is not a common soldier. He is stronger that all of us will ever be!''
With a loud crash, the door fell shut behind him.
0
Link breathed in deeply. He was watching the old volume which Ashei had put on his bedside table, frowning and thinking hard. At least, the description of this scar she had spoken about, which caused hallucinations and voices in his head only he could hear, was true. He could well remember the blood running out of Renado's nose earlier on that day, which had proved to be nothing else than his mind playing tricks on him. The voice he had perceived afterwards, and his strange vision of that woman in the forest with her child, it was this scar making him see and hear all these things. For him, nothing he could not handle, he told himself.
The notion of suicide, however, had really taken him aback. Of one thing he was certain; he would never be so selfish as to take this as a last resort to his torment! No one, not even that curse, would make him do that. He would die before he–
He quickly shook his head. No, don't even think about it! Ashei was right, even if he was sure to never to that, he had to be on his guard. After everything it had done to him, this curse should not be underestimated. After all, it managed to render him completely mad to the point that he hurt his own father by biting him in the shoulder. And what had he wanted to achieve by that? Protect himself against the unbearable pain the treatment had made him feel, against his friends who just wanted to help him.
He could still not believe that he had really done that.
He crawled back under his blanket, lying on his right side where he gazed at the little book. From the open window, a fly buzzed over to the bed and made a few turns around his head, its flattering wings playing in his ears ever so slightly, soon annoying him. He swished at it, and the fly took off once more.
Buzzzzzzzzz …
He shook his head as it continued to pester him, yet as he attempted to strike at it a second time, he noticed that there was nothing around him.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz …
He looked around, shook his head once more, and quickly got up to close the window to prevent more flies from entering. He hopped back into bed, clutched his blanket, and listened intently to the silence of the room.
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hisss hisss hisss now that is funny! Ssssssorrry ffffor that, I think Zzzzzzzodiac issss not happy. What can I do for you, maaadammm? Help meeeeeee, I'm sssssstuck! Buzzzzz, buzzzzz, fly little fly!
He listened with eyes wide to the complete nonsense in his head, often looked around to see if there was really no one in his room that could have said all these things. It sounded so real, so near and in a loudness that nearly made him clap his hands over his ears.
Voices, voices everywhere. High voices, low voices, children's voices and elder's voices, male and female voices … They continuously increased in loudness and amount, talking unendingly, not letting one of them finish before another already started its monologue. Link soon screwed up his eyes in sheer annoyance as the voices went over to whispers, louder and louder, hissing uncomprehendingly and rattling his brain. Amidst all of it, the buzzing of the fly ever present soared around his head in circles, millimetres away from his ears.
''What is all this?'' he asked, shaking himself, turning around in his bed while his hands clutched his ears, to no avail. ''Stop it! Stop it please!''
The hissing only intensified, letting him moan out. ''Get out of my head! Stop it, I beg you!''
A sudden knock on the door let him freeze, trying best to shut the painful mess in his head out of his thoughts. He closed his eyes, swallowed hard, and said with the calmest of tones he could muster. ''Come in.''
The person standing in the door was the last he had wanted to see right now. No, no! Let this noise stop, please!
''Are you all right, Link?'' came Ilia's worried question as she closed the door behind herself. The crowd only chattered louder, making it almost impossible to hear her properly. '' Yes.'' Link answered and made sure he didn't talk too loud to make her suspicious. He could almost not hear his own voice as he broke a warm smile. ''It's so good to see you after so long. Are you all right too?''
She sat down on the chair to his right, looking down in shame. Link watched her with all the attention he could muster over the other invading voices. It was harder and harder to concentrate. ''Yes, I'm okay. I'm sorry I didn't visit you more often, but I could not find the courage to face you being so injured. Are you mad at me?''
''No, not at all.'' he said almost too loud, and quickly forced his voice down to the point where he could barely make out his own words. ''Why would I be mad at you?''
She shrugged, smiling kindly. He smiled back, but his hand clenched to a tight fist on the blanket over his legs as the noise got nearly overwhelming. His head had begun to pound painfully as if suffering heavy migraine. He bit back the urge to bury his brow in his palms and press against his temples. It was no use anyway.
''I wanted to ask you, Link.'' Ilia continued. ''This Midna, how did you meet her?'' He could not hear the slight disdain in her voice, his mind was too preoccupied to shut down the mess in his head. ''I … She freed me from a prison cell. After that we teamed up and … we teamed up and she helped me all throughout my … my journey.'' He had more and more difficulties to concentrate on his own words, for he constantly lost track of what he had been saying. Ilia, being attentive and intelligent, noticed this of course.
''Are you sure you're all right, Link?'' He nodded quickly. ''Yeah, no worries. My head just hurts a little, but it's all right.''
''Oh! Then you surely haven't drunk enough. Shall I fetch you a cup of water?'' she asked, her kind grin impossible to neglect. Link back down with a pained sigh. ''Yes, that would be very nice.''
He regretted that soon, for as the Ordonian girl came back from the kitchen carrying a clay bowl, the children were right behind her and shoving their way into the room. ''Hey Link!'' Talo screamed, letting the Hylian's head almost explode. ''You're all right!''
''We were so worried about you yesterday.'' Beth said while taking his hand in hers. ''What happened to you?''
Link tried to focus on them as well as the cup he received from Ilia, almost choking on its content as he swallowed too quickly. The hissing and pain in his head was starting to make his vision spin as well, and he felt worse than ever. ''I'm … no I'm all right. Nothing happened to me yesterday.''
At once, all the voices started to whisper the very same word in unison, and Link felt an icy shower run down his spine. Liar, liar .. liar liar liar liar … liar liar liar liar liar!
''Yes, something happened!'' Beth kept on babbling. ''You were on the ground and Mr. Renado and the others were leaning over you and you were moving strangely, and then they carried you to your room and you looked asleep. And they didn't want to tell us what happened, and as this strange girl came in she told us you'd be all right, but she didn't tell us what had happened. And – no Talo, you're not allowed to go on the bed, get down! – and then we were told to sleep, and …''
Link was slowly but surely starting to feel fidgety. ''I … I don't know what happened. I …'' he tried, but the girl didn't listen and just kept on talking along with the voices in his head. They hissed, she babbled, they whispered, she admonished Talo for doing this or that. The fly buzzed, Colin told her to be quiet, Ilia asked if he wanted some more water, Malo mumbled random stuff he could not make out, the voices in his head soared in his mind and hurt his nerves, his eyes stung …
Shout! Shout! Shout shout shout! Shout at them! Shout at them!
No, no, no … he whimpered silently. Just make them leave, please … don't let me shout at them … I don't want to shout at them …
Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout! Liar! Liar! Liar! Liar!
''Children!''
He had still his eyes pressed shut tightly, at the mercy of the buzzing and whispering that now took off once more, muttering and fluttering messy sentences, until suddenly something shot through his body and let him jerk in fright. That something soon revealed itself to be a touch, Renado's most welcomed touch on his arm and his deep, brown eyes boring into his own. Finally, another sense! ''Link, are you all right?''
No, he was not, but he dared not say it in front of the children. As his pulsating eyes looked around, however, he saw the room empty, the children gone, and the door closed. No one except the shaman shared the chamber with him. How much time had he sat there, eyes closed, enduring the pain in his mind?
Mutely, he shook his head, a move which was only intensifying the headache. As Renado asked why, he finally pressed his hands against his pounding forehead. ''There are voices … in my head … they're everywhere … they are so loud …''
He saw how the man frowned in front of him, and touching on of Link's hands he asked carefully. ''What do you need to make it better?''
He had no idea. ''I don't know … but I can't stand it! Please make it stop, Renado …'' He pressed his hands against his temples in pain, shutting his eyes tightly while leaning over his legs and rocking back and forth. It was truly unbearable, and the voices were still accumulating, growing more and more, louder by the second. Every sound and feeling around him hurt, his ears rang, and as Renado said something he could barely hear it.
''Link, listen to me. It is the scar of the Curse making you hear these things. You must hold out until we find something against it. Please, Link, don't give up, we'll find something to beat it, I promise!''
The Hero opened his eyes a slit, squinting against the harsh daylight issuing through the window, and nodded with a pain-stricken expression on his face. Renado was right, he needed to hold on until they found something against it. They would certainly come up with something, he was sure of it. Telling this himself, he lay down in his bed in foetal position, hands pressed against his head, eyes closed, and waited for the release to come.
When would this nightmare end?
0
Midna was already waiting for him outside Link's room as the shaman stepped out, wearing a troubled look. ''What's the matter?'' she asked almost knowingly. However, nothing prepared her for what Renado told her.
''Please stay with him and make sure he doesn't do anything … he would normally not do.'' the healer asked worriedly. ''Do not let anyone else in, and should you need assistance, I'll be in my room.''
''What will you do there?'' Midna could sense that the healer was more distraught than he let others see. ''Search for a means to heal Link.'' was all he said as answer before he was already gone. Sick with worry she stepped into the room, and saw her Love cowering in bed, hands clutching his head tightly as if it could fall off at any moment. Renado had said he was hearing voices. Loud, painful voices.
''Link? It's me.'' she said carefully while placing a tiny hand on his arm. He flinched at her touch, looked briefly at her, then returned to his initial position of staring in front of himself, gently rocking from side to side, letting out occasional moans as the noise in his head surely became too loud.
Midna did not know what she should do. Should she talk to him? Maybe if he heard her own voice instead of thousands of others then it would be easier for him to ignore them?
''I finally found out who put that Curse on the shard, Link.'' she said, earning a pained glance from him, showing her he tried to listen. ''It was Zant using our Fused Shadows. So Zelda was right, since the Fused Shadows are a concentration of pure Darkness, there is only Light that can defeat it.''
He frowned and looked puzzled. ''Zelda?''
Midna nodded. ''She talked to me and told me how to defeat the Curse. But I think she used up the last of her strength to do that, otherwise she'd have answered my prayers already and told me how to help you now.''
Link looked back down to the mattress once more. ''I can manage those voices, don't worry.'' As if on cue, he let out a louder groan as they seemingly did not agree with him. Midna clenched her fists desperately, a silent anger sweeping up inside her that was withheld by her complete incapacity of helping him. How she hated it to see him suffer! Too long had this lasted already, but there was nothing she could do except keeping him company and trying to distract him. But what could she tell him that would put him on other thoughts? During these last days there had been only talk about his Goddess-forsaken Curse around her.
''I like the children.'' she burst out promptly. ''I mean, they are really kind and are not scared of my any more. Especially Colin. He's really intelligent and friendly. Was he not the one you saved from that stupid ogre?''
Her companion nodded weakly. ''Hmm.''
She waited for something to complement his statement, but as he remained silent she took off for him again. ''The others are quite nice as well. Only the small stormy one, with this red head-scarf … what was his name again …?''
''Talo.''
''Ah yes, Talo. He seems to really think that he's some sort of Hero with his tiny sword. I think he has a lot to learn yet. You could teach him, you know? Would surely do him good. Well, and Beth is a little too girly for my liking, but I guess I can live with it. Just this other little–''
''Midna?'' Link interrupted her feebly. She turned to him, and saw him with eyes screwed up as if in pain. ''Could you … would you mind to … stop talking please? It's not … really helping …''
''Oh! Yes, of course, sorry.'' she stammered, feeling a sudden pang of guilt. She had always had a habit of talking too much. As Link slumped back down with a huff, still gripping his head tightly, she pulled up her legs and gazed at him from her chair, feeling more useless than ever.
As she watched him staring stubbornly in front of himself, she noticed something about his eyes. The first time she had actually acknowledged this strange shadow over their irises, as if a veil of darkness covered them, was the moment he woke up from the Light treatment. It was there ever since he had been attacked by the Mirror Shard, and now it was a reminder that he was truly not well, that the darkness inside him still plagued his body and tormented him with new ways of pain. Why in the Goddesses' name was he now hearing voices? It didn't hurt him physically, but apparently managed to put into a similar state, seeing him cowering there, unable to do anything against it.
Suddenly, she had an idea. ''Link, what if Renado gave you some morphine? Or the other anaesthetic he gave you for the treatment, chloroform? Like this you would fall asleep and not hear the voices any more.''
Her idea apparently took him by surprise, for he looked at her with instant hope. But then his eyes unfocused, losing their interest in her, and quickly after he shook his head vigorously. ''No, they say that the same thing will happen like last time.''
Last time he had taken morphine, the Curse had found a way to overcome the numbing effect of the opioid and had punished him for taking the painkiller. The agony he had felt then was so violent that he passed out from it. After that, he had never wanted to even see the bottle of morphine.
She tried to convince him that the chloroform could work, but he negated desperately. ''I prefer to hear those voices rather than feel such pain again!'' he nearly shouted at her, and turned around in the bed to face the other wall, pulling the sheets further over himself.
Midna watched his back heave with deep, balking breaths. She bit back the urge to shout at him and tell him how stupid he was, that he would not suffer as much if he took a painkiller now and then sleep for an indefinite amount of time. After all, he was the one suffering, and not she. That this Curse was slowly but surely beating him into an obedient slave of agony, using whatever means it had to torture him, scared the daylight out of her. They could not let him suffer like this for long, otherwise she really didn't know what he would do. For the first time in all those months she was now together with him, battling side-by-side with him, the notion of suicide truly struck terror into her. The Hero was said to have an unbreakable spirit, but what if this spirit slowly turned against him? What if its unbreakableness drove him mad like the pain before? What if he truly started to think about suicide?
She just now realized that this Curse was way subtler than she had thought all along. Its way of killing was not by draining Link of energy, or blood, or any other vital way. It had tried that out, and knew now that Renado was a healer, that the wise Kakarikan had means and ways of keeping Link alive even in extreme, near-death situations. Suicide was a way of killing that happened from within the person itself, from the thoughts they had, the desperation and powerlessness against unconquerable odds, where Death seemed the only way to escape them. It was a killing blow that could not miss like an arrow, or be harmless like a sword strike against tough armour. It was positioned precisely, efficiently, and resulting in Death if not prevented by the outside. Link could still resist with all his might, but for how long? If his torture took too long, he would slowly start to think about the notion. Such were the oldest sins of humankind, desire, curiosity, weakness against resistance or forbiddance. As much as he forbid himself to think about it, sooner or later he would be confronted with those thoughts about Death. As sophisticated as the Dolor Mortis Curse was, it would find a way to put him into this state, she was sure of that. And seeing him lying desperate in his bed, refusing to talk with her, trying not to go mad from the voices in his head, it had already begun.
If they did not manage to beat It by the time Link was approaching this state, then only a miracle could help him.
0
''He's what?'' Ashei burst out.
''He's hearing voices, he said, loud voices that do not stop.'' Renado answered almost angrily. ''Midna is with him right now, but he will not be able to bear it for long. We have to find a way to beat that scar, or I do not know what Link will do then.''
Ashei looked sceptical. ''Is it really that bad to hear voices all the time?''
Rusl almost jumped at her. ''How can you even say that?! My son is being tortured and instead of coming up with something, all you do is complain!''
She spit back. ''And now it's all my fault, or what?! You could come up with something instead of pushing the blame to–''
''SILENCE!'' Renado roared, his booming outburst rattling the walls of the sanctuary. Everyone flinched back in fright and stared at him in shock.
''I've had enough of this nonsense!'' he said aloud, his voice now becoming quieter once more yet still being loud and intimidating. ''How are we supposed to help Link if we do nothing but fighting each other? We have to start working together, put all the knowledge we have in front of us and try everything that could help. If we do not find something soon, Link will be lost to us.''
''What?'' Shad said in astonishment. ''Moments ago you said he could pull through.''
''Not after I saw the state in which he is right now. That scar has found a new way to torture him by letting him hear voices all the time. How long would you stand it to hear deafening whispers all the time? And I'm sure they do not praise you or tell you that it will be over soon.''
Everyone was silent as he finished in a nearly sarcastic tone, taken aback by his truthful reply. Auru was pinching the bridge of his nose, his old eyes closed as he sat on his pillow and seemed to wait for them to calm down again. Rusl had buried his face in his palms and was sobbing ever so quietly, with Shad next to him placing a comforting hand on his slumped shoulders. Ashei was staring off stubbornly into the distance, refusing to make eye-contact.
As no one seemed to make an attempt to answer the healer, Auru spoke up. ''Renado, have you any knowledge of psychological torture?''
Now, even the shaman was confused. ''A little, but it is not enough to come up with something.''
The old man folded his arms and looked at the ground. ''If the Light Water cannot help any more, we have to help Link in another way. This scar is working on Link's psychological withstanding and tries to make him do whatever it wants, thus the voices. It is a form of torture I have already seen before, to make someone do something or give away knowledge that relies only on truth. When truth is spoken, the voices die down. When something is done that the caster of the spell wants, only then the voices silence.''
They looked at him in utter shock, and even Ashei's mouth had fallen agape. Rusl had stopped sobbing and was eyeing his friend with fright in his look.
''So … so it will not rest until Link does something or says the things It wants him to say?'' Renado concluded, his voice trembling. Auru nodded. ''I would rather say that it wants him to do something, since that book spoke about suicide. If It manages to torture him long enough, eventually Link will not stand it any longer and will do whatever It tells him to silence the voices. I would say it is obvious what It wants him to do, the question is how do we prevent that from happening?''
Shad cleared his voice. ''Well, first we should not let him alone wherever he goes. Keep a close eye on him, and try to put him on other thoughts.'' They all looked at him in wonder, Renado soon nodding with a resolute smile. ''Maybe the children can help him to forget the voices in his head by playing with him, or we could just keep him company and talk to him about things he likes.''
''What if I trained with him? Back in Ordon I tutored him daily in the art of swordplay, and like this we have built up a very close bond.'' Rusl said, now sounding a lot better than before. His eyes already possessed the shine Renado had not seen ever since Link hurt his shoulder, and the grief that plagued him could be watched as it fell off of him in large chunks. That was the Rusl he knew!
''Good idea, Rus'!'' Ashei beamed. ''I can help you if you like, teach you both some new things!''
''And while you try to keep his thoughts tamed, Renado and I will work on ways to neutralise the scar's powers on Link's mind.'' Auru finished, clenching his fists resolutely while looking to the shaman. The latter nodded with a big grin on his darkened face, making a big swish with his hands asking them to rise from their seats. ''Finally, my friends, we are working together! Let us finish this Curse off once and for all!''
0
Midna was frightened by the door to Link's room being thrown open harshly, revealing the entire group of men and Ashei as they stepped in, assembling around Link's bed. The youth looked up in sheer confusion, not retrieving his hands from his head, before Renado sat down on the bed and talked to him reassuringly, telling him they were going to see the children downstairs. Link first wanted to protest, told them that he could not control his voice and thoughts due to the mess in his head playing with him. But the healer shook his head, leaving no room for arguing, and helped him up on his two feet to escort him down to the ground floor.
The children were still very confused by Link's strange behaviour earlier on, but Renado explained to them that Link was not well, that he had to be put on other thoughts in order to be happy again. As they heard that, they beamed with joy to finally have a chance of doing something for their big brother, and Beth immediately raced into the children's room to fetch her lavender vial.
''Here, Link! If you put two drops of this on your shirt, you'll feel happy again.''
Link was very reluctant at first, telling them that he preferred to stay in bed and not disturb them with his problems. But they all insisted, not letting him even finish his request of returning to his reclusive room and instead placed him on the carpet in front of the hearth. At Renado's signal, all the children jumped on him and bombarded him with hugs and kisses, catching Link completely off guard and letting him tumble on his back with the kids on top of him. They made sure to not hurt him by pressing on his belly or punching him too harshly, as the healer had apparently instructed them vividly to be careful with him. Soon, however, Ashei whispered something in Beth's ear, letting the little girl shriek in happiness and give her other comrades the order for a nasty tickling attack. At once the children screamed out and dove for Link's armpits, ignoring the desperate protests of their oldest brother as he lay on his back and tried to shield himself from their tiny hands.
Midna was watching in sheer confusion, not understanding how this should help Link get better. Yet, as she saw them lunge at him and tickling him mercilessly, her chin hit the ground in astonishment, seeing her companion shake with fits of laughter, giggling childishly as his friends tumbled about over him and laughed with him. Soon he rallied his strength for a counter-attack, making the kids scream as he grabbed them and tickled them back, making the adults around them laugh out in blissful relief. Rusl soon joined the hubbub, behaving like a child on his own as he joined forces with Link, regretted it soon however as Luda and Ilia sided with the enemy and jumped on him like cats on a ball of lace. The room was soon filled with their united laughter, echoing around the walls of the inn and, Midna was sure of that, drowning out the voices in Link's head to be replaced by the much needed happiness the children and adults offered him as alternative.
Midna stayed back, watching her Love smile for the first time in so long that she didn't even recall what his smile looked like. She felt happy for him, and happy for the others as well to see their friend and brother well again.
But she did not smile. Her stomach was knotting together in worry and grief, almost hurting her, plagued by a foreboding that overwhelmed her like falling sickness. As if in a distant dream she watched Link getting up with the aid of his friends, wearing the happiest of smiles she had ever seen on his gorgeous face, and being led to the wooden castle the children had built in a corner. She watched him walk, still a little unsteady, passed the counter and towards the children's smaller table. She was standing by the stairs, one hand draped over her hurting belly while the other held itself on the railing. He walked by, as if in slow-motion, turned his head to look at her, saw her two big eyes narrowed in sadness.
He halted, staring at her, the smile on his face slowly disappearing. The others were still walking towards the magnificent castle where Talo and Beth already plummeted down and took up their respective figurine, talking excitedly with Rusl who bend down to them and gazed into the building.
Link just stood there, one hand still enclosed by Colin's, and watched her with rising numbness creeping into his look. Soon Colin noticed his stupor, asked him in an echoing, distant voice what was the matter, but he did not respond. He could not respond.
Midna realized it before she even saw the trace of red at the corner of his mouth. She wanted to scream, to hold him firmly, to shriek at the Curse to stop its torture on him, but she could not move from her spot at the stairs. She could do nothing as a second trickle appeared on Link's bewitching lips, only felt rising cold enshroud her like a wave crashing down on her.
At once, Link started to vacillate. His feet became unsteady, his arms searching desperately for something to hold onto, to catch his weakening body. Colin let out a scream as he saw the blood on his brother's chin gently running down, but his high-pitched voice sounded muffled, remote to Midna's ears. She was completely mesmerized by Link's pleading eyes that seeked aid, comfort, someone to catch him. Her feet finally dislodged from their roots, tumbling over the wooden floor towards her partner.
At once, he fell. Backwards, head tilted back and crashing hard against Shad and Renado that were still back turned, looking at the playing children by the wooden castle. They shouted out, Shad stumbling away but Renado spinning around quickly enough to catch Link in his strong arms. He held him firmly, saw the blood on his chin with a sharp intake of breath, and bellowed something to Ashei who had raced to his aid. The warrior girl stormed away just as Midna reached her lover, falling on her knees next to him. Link's head hung over Renado's left arm, his body starting to twitch and jolt uncontrollably. Ashei returned with a cloth in her hands which the healer grabbed from her and quickly pressed on Link's red tainted lips. Turning him around, Renado lay Link on the ground and held him on his side as he retched, keeping the towel over his mouth to catch the blood flowing out.
It did not last long; soon Link's eyes closed weakly, his hands gripping his chest grew limp, and the blood stopped flowing. Renado stared at the unconscious youth in his arms, looked up to meet Auru's eyes, who shook his head downheartedly.
Midna felt as if she could faint any minute as well. From a relaxed, joyful afternoon of playing, nothing but shocked countenances and tears were left before it had even properly started. The Curse had been overwhelmed for a few minutes by laughter and happiness, but had struck back almost immediately, letting no room for smiles or even the faintest glimmer of hope. It was determined to make Link suffer, and if he dared to contradict It in whatever way he could, It would blight his attempts pitilessly and torture him until he was cowering in the shadows, at the mercy of Its foul ways of achieving whatever It wanted.
''Link …'' she stammered as she watched the adults carry her companion into his room. ''Please hold on … give us more time.''
0
The buzzing and hissing in his head drove him nearly mad. He couldn't stand it any longer, the deafening flutters of unspoken whispers whizzing around his mind like aggressive wasps stinging his senses mercilessly. Next to him, Midna's breathing was increased in intensity a hundredfold, as was the little candlelight standing to his right and burning holes into his sensitive retina. He had to get somewhere where there was neither sound nor light, complete nothingness. And quickly, otherwise he'd get to murder someone!
For hours he had lain in his room, with no one except Midna's sleeping form to guard him vigilantly. After he woke up from his traumatising seizure, he was told by Renado what had happened, barely hearing the shaman's words over the renewed mutters and hisses his mind was suffering continuously. He had had a fit in the midst of a wonderful moment of happiness, playing with the children, laughing along with them. Why, he did not know, and if Renado did then he didn't tell him. The only thing he knew was that the Group and the healer were deeply struck by the event, and had left the room almost immediately to meet in the sanctuary. After that he lay in the bed, feigning sleep, enduring the voices and ignoring them as best as he could.
Now, however, he could not stand it any longer. He just had to do something, anything!, to make it stop.
As quiet as a breath of wind he crept out of bed, knowing very well that Midna's pointy ears were incredibly sensitive. But she didn't show any sign of having heard him, so he carefully opened the door and slunk outside.
Let me give you an advice.
With a start, he froze instantly. Panting, he tried to hold back – over the ruckus in his head – the hissed words he had just thought to perceive. When nothing added to his buzzing skull but the pounding of his speeding heart, he shook his head once violently before descending the stairs to the darkened ground floor.
If you take one of these – Link jumped in fright – lovely butchering knives from the kitchen I'll show you what to do to stop this mess in your head.
The Hero looked around frantically, but no frame of a body was near him that could possibly own the voice that had spoken. So obviously it must be in his head, along with the turmoil of whispers and hisses. ''Why a knife?'' he breathed. Fear crept into his body as the voice didn't answer and the hissing became louder instead. He seized his head in both hands and grunted in frustration. He wouldn't be able to stand it much longer.
Go on, otherwise you'll be hearing these voices till the end of your days.
Link shook his head as he nearly ran to the kitchen and pulled on the handle of a drawer, being as quiet as possible not to wake anyone in the sleeping house. Silver glistened against his overworked senses and he had to close his eyes in pain. His hand groped for any knife that seemed big enough to be called a 'butchering knife' and pushed the drawer close again.
His legs were starting to become tired, so he made his way for the table while clutching the knife firmly. The voices were even louder now as he sat down and buried his pounding skull in his arms with a moan. ''Please make it stop, I can't take it any more.'' he whispered desperately, hoping that the owner of the only understandable voice, wherever they might be, heard him and helped him.
Let me take over your muscles, and I'll show you.
''What?'' As if on cue, his mind swelled more with voices, and not only whispers and hisses filled it. Screeches, laughter, cries and bellows now bulged inside his head and let him crush his palms against his temples. It was too much for him to bear.
He would have screamed had his throat not been corded up by an invisible force, so he could only croak out faintly. ''Do whatever you want, but please make it stop!''
Suddenly, his vision was coated with what looked like a dim, grey veil that knocked at his mind and demanded entrance. He let his defences down and watched, still racked with pain, how the mysterious entity sifted through his brain as if in search for something, then spread over a specific part where it settled down and sat to work.
Link stared in utter shock at his left hand which slowly started to twitch and move by itself, placing the knife on the table and instead floating over to the other arm. His fingers worked by themselves as they rolled up the sleeve of his shirt and revealed the white, delicate skin of his upturned right underarm. Then his left hand grabbed the knife again, and an icy shower ran down Link's spine as realization hit him brutally the moment the blade drew closer to his exposed skin. But before he could react, a sharp pain shot up his arm as the metal sliced deeply into it, and Link's mouth opened in a mute wail.
The dark entity was driven out of his brain by his will-power, and he sealed his mind forcefully. ''Why did you do that?!'' he hissed in agony. The wound started to bleed lightly, crimson life slowly trickling down to the wood of the big table. He wanted to apply pressure with his other hand but saw that the knife was still in his grip.
Don't you notice anything?
Link first wanted to ignore the voice, but then another thing uncovered itself to him. The voices in his head, the screaming, hissing, wailing and moaning … had diminished.
Incredulous, he looked at the knife again, then on his bleeding arm. How was this possible?
But the noise soon swelled again and doubled in intensity, and Link didn't think any more. With a grip as tight as iron, he clutched the knife again and cut his skin a second time, and another quickly after. The sharp, tearing pain was nearly unbearable to his already morbidly increased senses, but his head felt as if a ton load of lead was being lifted from it the more he cut his flesh. It uncovered like a cloudy sky in a stormy wind that blew through his skull and aerated the space pleasantly. His ears still rang from the overwhelming sound waves that only he had been able to hear, however his mind felt as if it had been newborn in a world of complete silence.
He was so utterly relieved that his neck gave way and let his inwardly sore head softly collide with the table. The knife still lay between his fingers, stained with red, but he didn't feel its handle any more. He didn't feel the pain of his mutilated arm any more. In fact, he felt nothing any more. Only silence.
Blissful, delicious silence …
0
As always, the door to the girl's room clamped a bit; Barnes really had to have a look at it, Luda thought drowsily. That strange man, as cowardly as he was, was the only handyman around town who could not only craft these funny little explosives which made huge noise and demolition when lit, but who had also enough knowledge about handling wood, metal and stone. There was maybe her father's good friend Auru who knew how to repair things, and she really preferred him rather than the bad-tempered bomb-maker next door.
Her throat was parched and urged her to close the broken door and hold her candle a little in front of herself to see in the dark. She had forgotten to take a cup of water into the girls' room the previous evening, and now she paid for it with a throat like sandpaper. Her bare feet pit-patted softly on the wood as she made her way down the grand staircase to the ground level. From above, her look searched across the room for the waterbarrel that stood visible just next to the kitchen door. She would just have to walk past the big round table and …
Frowning, she came to a halt at the foot of the stairs. Across from her, she could see a slumped figure sitting at the table, head apparently buried between its arms. But her candlelight wasn't bright enough to see who it was, so she carefully walked over to it, holding her candle high.
Her voice resounded once in a surprised yelp. ''Link!'' she hissed.
Quickly, she was at his side, trying to wake him by carefully shaking his shoulder. Link didn't respond at all, just a light frown crossed his forehead at the luminosity of the candle. But Luda's eyes didn't notice that; her look was locked on another glistening object placed in the Hylian's left hand. She froze momentarily where she stood, eyes wide in shock, before turning around sharply and running to the door to her father's room under the stairs. Shoving it open, she raced to Renado's bed and jounced at his shoulder. ''Father!'' she whispered frantically. ''Father, wake up, quickly!''
Renado had always had a light sleep, so his deep brown eyes darted open immediately. ''What is it, my Love?'' he asked sleepily, but upon seeing his daughter so distraught he forced the sleep out of his senses. ''What happened?!''
''It's Link, he's in the kitchen with a knife–''
At her last word, the black-haired girl was cut off as her father rushed out of bed and hurried through the door. The candle which Luda had left next to Link illuminated the furled up figure of the Hero where only his sandy hair could be seen, the rest of his face being hidden behind his arms.
''Link?'' Renado called softly as he, too, tried to rouse him out of his unconsciousness. The knife sprang into his view, horror suddenly gripping the healer by the heart. ''Oh Nayru, no …'' he breathed.
Luda saw how Link's body moved as he moaned out softly, but it was not like normally when he woke up. Something was different this time. Renado sent his daughter into the washroom to get a clean cloth, and it was just then that the young Kakarikan girl noticed crimson crusted over the blade.
While Luda rushed away, the shaman managed to wake Link. ''Link, can you hear me?'' The youth blinked a few times in the harsh light of the flame, but his eyes were glassy and dull. He seemed in some sort of stupor that alarmed Renado even more. As Luda came back with the towel, the older man gently pushed Link's upper body to lean against the backrest of the chair to examine him.
Being now propped up against the chair with his arms hanging on either side, Renado saw in terror just what the boy had done. Through the cloth of his right sleeve, he could see red soaked through the cream fabric and on Link's hand. The table was stained, as was the knife, and even Link's right cheek where his face had apparently rested too close to the mutilated arm.
''Take the towel to his room, I'll follow. Fetch me also the tincture of iodine and a bandage, medium length, with a safety pin.'' Renado instructed his daughter who obeyed without a word. Since trying to wake Link from his daze was useless, the healer knelt down in front of the youth and promptly heaved him up in his arms carefully. Link was strangely limp in his hold and didn't seem to notice the man carry him. His breathing was slow and short, face pale and forehead clammy. Symptoms of shock, the wise man stated in his head as he started to make a plan inwardly. Out of instinct he made sure that Link's arm stayed on his chest near the heart to limit bleeding.
Arrived in the room, they startled a very confused looking little imp just sitting up in the bed and getting horror-widened eyes. Renado paid her no mind as he sat Link down on the cot where he just prevented the youth from toppling sideways by supporting him. Link finally seemed to slowly regain his wits, and was soon able to sit upright on his own. ''What ... did I ... do?'' he said a little slurred.
Renado turned to him and was just about to answer the boy's question, when he saw Link staring very distressed at the blood-stains on his sleeve. That had not been a question directed to the healer.
''Link … what in the name of …'' Midna stammered as she leaned over his shoulder. ''Don't touch it. Leave that to me.'' the shaman just stopped Link from pulling the sleeve up and likely cause even more damage. ''Don't tear at it, I'll take care of that. Luda, the iodine please, dear, and a cloth.''
All three viewers, Midna, Luda and Link alike, gasped as they saw the irregular, criss-crossed, bleeding cuts reveal themselves to them as Renado pulled the sleeve up gently. There were at least seven of them, ten at the most, and deep with red welling up in them from the moving around. The edges were plastered in dry blood, which meant that Luda had found Link at least half an hour after the deed had been done. Renado took in this fact with a frown and rising dread, but for now the most important part was tending to the wounds. Luckily he had not touched a vein.
''Link, why did you do that?'' Midna sounded almost angry. Her fists were balled, but she was struggling against tears. The older Kakarikan shot her a look that silenced her immediately, but the damage had already been done before the Twili even uttered a word. Without warning Link began to wail. ''I didn't – I couldn't, no it wasn't me, I'd never – the voices, they–''
''Calm down Link.'' Renado was just dabbing the cloth soaked in iodine tincture onto the cuts and looked him in the eyes. ''It's not your fault, whatever that Curse made you feel. It was not your fault, Link. Please calm down.''
With a gesture he extended the sore arm to Luda who took it cautiously and held the cloth in place. Her father, meanwhile, knelt down in front of Link and wound his thick arms around his body. ''Hey, hey, it's all right.'' he said softly as he held Link close. The youth trembled in his embrace, gasps mixed with cold and the shock that ailed his body. He was in no good shape.
Midna joined the healer's embrace with her long, thin arms and together, humming each other small sentences of comfort, they managed to gradually tranquillize Link. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were glistening with tears refusing to come out as he watched Renado clean the wounds carefully. It hurt like hell, the tearing pain letting him grit his teeth and moan occasionally when Renado pressed too much. ''I didn't want to do that, you have to believe me …'' he whispered, completely shocked.
''I know. It's not your fault, Link. No one is blaming you, no one.'' Renado assured as he lay another cloth soaked in iodine onto the arm and began wrapping the bandage around it to hold in in place. No one said a word while the shaman worked, eventually securing the dressing with the safety pin. Nothing from the grotesque appearance of the arm was visible now that the bandage was covering it, and that seemed to appease Link drastically.
Everyone was quiet for a moment, Link holding his bandaged arm in the other as if to protect it. His face still wore a pallid colour and his body trembled softly from cold. Midna gave Renado a quick glance and the latter helped Link back under the sheets, placing a pillow under his feet to raise them a little. ''You're under shock, Link, you need warmth and rest. Try to sleep a bit, and we'll talk about that tomorrow.'' the healer said, indicating the injured arm by placing his big palm carefully on top of it. The Hero looked at him with mournful, distressed eyes before turning his head away and closing them. His lashes were drenched in tears, but not one cascaded down his cheeks. He was too shocked to cry.
Midna was standing at a little distance from the bed, receiving a reassuring hand on her shoulder from Luda. The black-haired girl beckoned her to follow her out of the room, giving her father the opportunity to guard the sick youth with all his attention. Midna had no means and no strength left to help her companion in his current condition, so she just followed the girl out of the room with a last glance on her agonizing Hero. She was crying, not in sadness or shock, but in simple helplessness. The Curse had acted just as that book had told them and had managed to make Link harm himself. Where would this go, if not to deliverance? What would her wolf have to endure before they found a way to free him? Was there actually a way? Or were all their efforts futile? She dared not think about where this would end.
000