Author's Note: This is going to resolve the Lila subplot. I want to end this story with some more Arnold/Helga lemon and then into the future to Phoebe and Gerald's nuptials. Enjoy today's chapter.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
"So, can you…um… do it?"
"Of course, my man. Anything for my friends."
"Thanks…Curly…"
Thaddeus "Curly" Gammelthrope was on a mission. It wasn't a mission for animal liberation from the cruel tyranny of zoos, sweet revenge for himself, or even for the favor of Rhonda Wellington Lloyd. He had already accomplished the last one, actually. She had been assigned to be his partner in AP Bio, forcing her to actually interact with him and see him, not just as a proudly card carrying psychopath but as a person, a man, an equal to adore and be adored by eternally.
The day that she had aggressively pulled him into the 4th floor broom closet after her dance practice counted as the best of his brief but potent life. And the best night, too. Damn, he loved that snooty little princess from her head to her feet and all the sweet sticky sugar she gave him…
Focus, man! You have a mission to complete!
Most of the time the voice in his head was urging him to rebel but it seemed that even his Greek Chorus was in agreement with this cause. Lila Sawyer had gone from a valued friend and Simmons Tribe member to the Queen of the Elite, the puppet master, the manipulator, and most recently, the heartbreaker of his comrade in madness, Sid. With Arnold's timely intervention during what was now known as 'the Flight of the Kickballs' and the subsequent passing of time, Sid had become a good friend to him, always a listening ear when it came to the well being of animals and the conspiracies of the Man.
Although he had been assigned this mission by Brainy (another comrade and fellow Geek…), it was dedicated to Sid and to Arnold and Helga, too. Both blondes had shown him acceptance in their own way and Thad was an absolute sucker for a happy ending. Arnold and Helga were a happy ending couple (like his other real life OTP Phoebe and Gerald…) and they deserved peace and joy and lovemaking and lots of little oblong headed, Ol' Betsey throwing babies.
Lila had to go far, far away. His mission (and he had been born to accept it...) was to make her go far, far away by any non-lethal means necessary.
Hacking into West Hillwood High's PA system and internet server had been laughably simple. He had been able to do it from home in his PJs. He was home due to a respiratory upset, bronchitis the doctor had said, adding onto his senoritis. His mother and father were at the Cleaners, helping Hillwood prepare for the Winter Chill with an influx of quilts, comforters, cashmere, and coats of many materials. The house was clean and well stocked, a perfect oasis for his recovery…and for mayhem.
His watch beeped and it showed lunch hour, the time where the whole school was contained in the gyms, commons, and cafeteria, the time where everyone from the Elite to the Geeks would hear truth, see truth, know truth...glorious holy beautiful truth!
"Bye-bye, Lila. It was an ever so pleasure." he rasped before triggering the program.
5 minutes later, an indignant and shocked text came from his love, followed by many more throughout the rest of the day.
His crazed cackles could be heard all the way down the street.