It was the evening of December the 31th, that Lightning spent in front of her private bathroom mirror, trying to style her hair into an updoe to make herself look a bit more female, a bit more festive.
She couldn´t believe another year had passed this fast.
Anyways, this time she was not going to feel stupid and out of place in front of the others in her baggy SOLDIER uniform, while all the other girls sported festive gowns. No. This time she was prepared. She hadn´t only made the effort to visit Midgar´s noblest tailor to obtain the most beautiful gown she had ever owned, she had also bought a small assembly of makeup, as well as matching shoes for the occasion. It was the first time that she had actually used her wages to buy something for herself. She´d been provided with everything she needed from the Shin-Ra electric power company anyway.
She did feel a little bit bad at not sending all the money back to Serah. But she had received double wages for December anyway.
She only wished her sister could be there to witness her transformation as she put on the dark purple dress, it´s silky fabric caressing her soft pale skin, and started to apply a light coat of makeup. She really could have needed some help with her hair and makeup too. Serah always loved to do stuff like this. Lightning herself had never had the time nor patience for any of it.
Claire Farron checked her appearance in the mirror one final time.
She found she liked how the dress was accentuating her female attributes without being too revealing.
Then she put on the matching kitten heeled shoes and made her way towards the elevators.
It did feel kind of difficult, walking in those shoes. The pink haired soldier was used to wearing her combat boots about 24/7 now.
She couldn´t help but feel awkward and self-conscious in her new clothes and she almost turned to go back to her room to change into her SOLDIER uniform, when suddenly a "BING" announced the elevator´s arrival, it´s huge grey doors opening only a second later.
"Ah, good evening Mademoiselle..." she was promptly greeted by the sight of Heidegger, his belly protuding heavily from his forest green suit. She did´t know a lot about him. All she´d heard was that he was some important member of the Public Safety Department and the rumours that he´d been after Lazard´s position for ages.
She almost cringed in disgust as the fat old leech let his lascivious gaze unrestrictedly roam her body.
"What gives me the pleasure of sharing this ride with a beautiful girl like yourself?" the man inquired, inching closer with every word he said.
Pervert.
"Second Class SOLDIER Farron, making my way up to the New Year´s celebrations, Sir!" she informed him, quickly saluting and then hitting the "up" button.
"Ahh...I´ve heard about you of course. So finally I have the pleasure of meeting you face to face" he said, his voice sickly-sweet, a wide grin forming on his face.
"The pleasure is on my side, Sir!" she answered, out of courtesy.
"Stand easy SOLDIER, no need to maintain formalities in here, heh?" Heidecker cooed, his eyes twinkling at her suggestively.
"Thank you, Sir." she stammered, trying hard to stay neutral as dearly she wished the elevator would just speed up.
"A beautiful young girl like yourself isn´t going to attend this party alone, heh? You can join me of course! We could have a little... Private party..."
She was saved the discomfort of finding an answer to this no doubt immoral offer of his as the elevator doors flew open and she found herself face to face with Cloud Strife, who leaning next to the elevators was presumably waiting for Tifa.
Never had she been so happy to see him.
"There you are, Cloud!" she cried as she threw herself at him, eager to escape Heidegger´s advances, whome she quickly left to find himself another plaything.
"Hey Cloud! Who is that beauty you´ve brought?!" Lightning heard Zack ask playfully as he approached them.
"Huh?! Wha -aat - Wait..Lightning?" her black haired comrade spluttered, obviously surprised, as he took in her appearance.
"Is that really you!?" he asked, rubbing his eyes in disbelieve.
The pink haired female in the purple dress, she couldn´t stifle a giggle at his childish antics, as hitting him on the shoulder hard, she confirmed her identity.
"Shit, I´ve got to call Aerith and tell her I´ve found myself another date!" he joked, twinkling his sky blue eyes at her playfully.
"No serious Light. You look great!"
The female second class couldn´t help but blush.
„Thanks, Zack."
And she could feel her self-esteem boost, as making her way over to where she had spied the Firsts at the bar, she caught Cloud whispering to Zack „Fuck she´s hot!" behind her back.
Lightning couldn´t help but smile.
She was not used to this kind of attention.
It was a nice change to receive compliments for her appearance, for once.
And she should receive more and more of them as the night continued. Angeal told her how stunningly beautiful she looked and Genesis´ mouth gaped open in astonishment as he first lay eyes on her, probably taking her for the personification of the goddess of his beloved poem.
She couldn´t find Sephiroth anywhere.
Somehow she understood.
It was just so like him to try and evade a social event like this.
And she couldn´t blame him.
It hadn´t been that long ago that she would have prefered the privacy of her room or the gym as well.
Genesis turned to order shots for all of them and they took their first round of many more to come, as they spent their time making fun of the other party guests, the atmosphere cheerful and festive, so unlike it had felt last year.
This time Lightning was in the middle of the partying crowd as the countdown reached zero. People screaming and shouting on the top of their lungs to greet the new year, she was provided with sparkling wine and hugged by Zack and Tifa as well as several other random people and she even received a peck on the cheek from Cloud, something all the others found rather amusing. Lightning however didn´t mind. The alcohol making her ready to burst with bliss and happiness, feeling part of the crowd, belonging, she partied with her friends as the firework tinged their faces in glowing golds, reds and greens.
She didn´t have time to think about Serah or Bodhum even once.
A moment of courtesy- Crisis Core Ost
It was 3 o´clock in the morning and the crowd had finally begun to scatter. Lots of people had left for their beds already and those who remained were starting to get tired or bored.
Claire Farron found herself pretty much wasted.
It seemed that Genesis´ continuous donation of shots had finally gotten to her.
Her feet hurting terribly in her kitten heeled shoes she felt slightly light-headed, dazed, but still, she felt comfortable and safe, protected, as she snuggled into the safety of Zack´s embrace as slowly they were swaying to the music on the dance floor.
Her arms flung around his neck and her cheek resting on his collarbone, she could feel the warmth of his body and the stubble on his jaw tickling her forehead as his head rested on her own and she revelled in the feeling of his strong arms around her.
She didn´t remember the details about how they had ended up like that, but she couldn´t help but feel content. Happy. Blissful almost. Something she couldn´t remember feeling for a very long time.
All she knew was that no matter what happened, she didn´t want that song to stop.
Ever.
She wanted to stay like this with Zack forever.
Although moving so slowly, she managed to stumble over her own feet once more.
But it didn´t matter.
For Zack was there with her and she knew her black haired comrade would never let her fall.
Sephiroth could tell Angeal was hungry again as he found his comrade stuffing his mouth with what had to be all the peanuts and other snacks available at the bar.
It was with a little safety distance therefore that he took his place next to him, (he didn´t feel the wish to be sprinkled in chewed nut pieces anytime soon), his green mako eyes glued to the closely entwined couple of Lightning and Zack now gently swaying on the dance floor, unable to look away.
His gaze lingering on Zack Fair´s hand that was so insolently resting on the small of his protégé´s back, the general´s mako killer eyes narrowed involuntarily.
That hand...
He felt like chopping it off with his Masamune.
"I always said they would make a nice couple." Genesis stated matter-of-factly and the silver haired first class found his chest tighten uncofortably.
It was a weird feeling he had never felt before, followed by the almost irresistible urge to rip Zack´s head off.
"Hey, Zack´s here with me after all!" a young sweet girl with a pink ribbon in her hair piped up from somewhere next to Genesis.
The redhead turning to look at her in surprise, he only gave her a 'Who are you, anyway?' kind of look.
"He´s just dancing with her out of pity. Because she has no one!" Aerith tried to explain, her voice full of spite.
Wow.
Aerith Gainsborough wasn´t one you would have expected to be of the bitchy kind.
"What kind of guy would want a girl like her?! She´s probably lesbian anyway!" the girl continued angrily.
Genesis Rhapsodos only raised an eyebrow at that.
With her homophobic behavior Aerith had probably hit a nerve.
It was not that Genesis was gay or anything.
It was just that despite having a whole fanclub of horny women, that man was rarely seen in female company.
General Sephiroth Crescent found a soft sigh escaping his lips.
He didn´t know what was wrong with him.
Somehow he wasn´t his usual self lately.
He tried to blame it on the alcohol.
Although he hadn´t really had a lot.
Angeal seemed to catch on pretty fast though as he followed the direction of the silver haired general´s gaze.
"Why don´t you just go over and dance with her instead?" he suggested carefully, turning in Sephiroth´s direction and blocking out the others from listening in on their little conversation with his burly black clad shoulder.
The general´s face set in his usual blank mask, his black haired friend only kept looking at him knowingly.
Fuck, was it really that obvious?!
He really needed to get a grip on himself.
"You´ve got to be kidding me..." the silver haired man growled.
Tearing his eyes away from the source of his predicament he made to incredulously stare at his comrade instead.
Angeal hadn´t really just said that, had he?!
Lightning was still revelling in the feeling of Zack´s arms around her body when suddenly the beautiful moment was interrupted by Aerith.
"Zack... Don´t you want to dance with ME?!"
There was accusation in her voice and maybe jealousy and finally Claire Farron realized that Zack wasn´t there with her but that he had come with Aerith. And that he was with Aerith in the first place!
Oh no, what was she doing...
Shaking her head confusedly the pink haired female took a few steps away from her comrade, a futile attempt at clearing her head and it was staggering slightly that she tried to keep her balance.
Who was she to take Zack away from Aerith?!
The two of them had been a couple for over a year.
"I´m sorry." she managed as carefully she retreated further.
Zack looking back at her over his shoulder, an apologetic look in his gentle sky blue eyes, Claire Farron watched as Aerith dragged him to the middle of the dance floor where she immediately started to make out with him, obviously marking her territory.
Ugh...
She hadn´t meant to steal her away from her or anything!
Or had she?!
Suddenly Lightning wasn´t sure.
Zack was her comrade.
Her friend.
Her best friend actually.
Could he ever be more?
Lightning wasn´t sure.
Her gaze roaming the floor for a route of escape she found Heidegger amusing himself with Scarlet from the Weapon Development Department, who´s red dress had ridden up all the way to expose her thighs, and Cissnei from the Turks dancing with Tseng, both of them wearing their navy blue business suits.
She had heard somewhere that they were officially an item now.
Feeling kind of lost as she stood there on the dance floor all abandoned and alone, Lightning sudeenly felt tears stinging her eyes.
Why was she always ending up alone?
Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and cry.
Was that the effect of the alcohol?
Oh, she needed to pull herself together!
Looking around desorientatedly she caught her sensei´s mako eyes, staring at her from his place at the bar. Their gazes locking for a tiny moment, the pink haired soldier instantly felt humiliated. Felt pathetic as she stood there on the dance floor all alone, with no plan where to go to next, with noone to steady her as helplessly she staggered around.
Oh yes, she was pathetic.
Getting herself drunk like this and doing all kind of stupid things.
Like slow dancing with Zack, for example.
Had he been watching all that time?!
Lightning couldn´t help but feel her cheeks turn hot.
Deciding she couldn´t stay there a second longer, she turned on her heels and as best as she could, hurried towards the exit.
It was half past 3 when finally she made it to her private quarters.
She took off her dress and let it fall to the ground to settle down on her bed, cold and empty.
The loneliness, the emptiness of her built for 6 room, bringing depressing thoughts to the surface of her mind, she felt tears stinging her eyes as she realized again that she had no one.
NO ONE!
She screamed into her pillow, not a sound heard in the vacated room, tears falling now, hot and burning, she didn´t care to hold them back.
She hated herself for feeling so weak.
Being lonely was not a bad thing.
Being lonely was not something dangerous.
Being lonely shouldn´t hurt.
But it did.
Now it did.
It was without going to the bathroom that she crawled under her blanket and burried herself in her thin mattrass, blaming her emotional outburst on the excessive consumption of alcohol.
Thank you Genesis.
It was about 5 o´clock in the morning. Sephiroth, Cloud and Zack had already left to go to their beds and the sun had already started to set when Genesis approached his childhood friend Angeal, who was casually leaning against the banister watching the sunset, his forehead wrinkled in a frown as he was lost in thought contemplating the recent events.
"What is bothering you my dear friend?" Genesis asked in his poetic voice, placing himself next to his fellow first class.
"It´s nothing..." Angeal assured his childhood friend.
"Nothing, huh?" the redhead wondered doubtfully.
"It´s just about Sephiroth and... And Lightning..." Angeal carefully voiced the subject of his musings.
"Sephiroth´s surrounded by women... What is so remarkable about that...?!" Genesis taunted playfully.
„Yeah...What is remarkable about that..." Angeal pondered.
Sephiroth had himself surrounded with women whenever on public display. It was just something that went hand in hand with his good looks and war hero status.
But seeing Sephiroth care...
Seeing him show what could be interpreted as traces of jealousy, of feelings for someone, for another human being, that was something very remarkable indeed.
„I don´t know man." he said after some time.
„You know what really is remarkable, my friend?" the redhead began.
„The way the author built up that poem. I mean, the gift of the godess..."
„Oh, shut up!" the burly first class grunted.
Luckily that night on the top of the Shin-Ra building didn´t change anything between Zack and Lightning.
However she couldn´t shake off the feeling that ever since then, Angeal Hewley had been watching her closely, going pensive whenever his eyes fell upon her.
She still didn´t know what had driven her to do all those desperate things on the New Years Eve celebration, but well, if anybody, Genesis was the one to blame. The redhead had been handing out drinks like candy.
It still felt kind of awkward though when one day Zack approached her, Cloud following closely behind, to invite her to join their party on Valentine´s day.
Their pink haired comrade, she declined immediately.
No way.
New Year´s eve had been humiliating enough. She was certainly not going to attend their public make out session on her least favorite day of the year.
It would be just another reminder of her loneliness.
Just no way!
So instead of joining their little get together, she settled for a nice calm evening in the gym which she had all to herself. Everybody else had apparently left the nest for some celebration.
Feeling down again, she just decided to let the day end early as she went to sleep quarter past 9.
General Sephiroth Crescent didn´t know what had driven him to join their stupid party again as they were squeezed against the counter of the run down bar in the heart of the sector 7 slums.
Genesis was buying drinks like mad as usual. It was only a matter of time before he would start quoting from Loveless again.
The silver haired first class couldn´t wait.
Oh, how much he hated that damned poem by now...
He was in the middle of a discussion with Angeal about the ridiculously wide sword of his he never seemed to use, that Sephiroth saw the door open and a shock of spiky blonde hair appear in the doorway.
He held his breath as he watched Cloud Strife enter, closely followed by Zack who was coming hand in hand with... Aerith.
Feeling relief wash over him, General Sephiroth Crescent slowly let out the breath he had forgotten he´d been holding.
He had half expected Lightning to show up as Zack´s date.
Stupid.
Ridiculous, he knew.
What did it matter to him anyway?!
Zack could spend his night with whoever he wanted!
Everyone but her, the general thought, his mako green eyes narrowing dangerously at the thought.
The door closed behind them and the silver haired first class realized he felt disappointed that she wasn´t with them, disappointed when he comprehended that he wouldn´t be able to see her that night.
Because yes.
Part of him wanted to see her.
Part of him wished she were there.
And a part of him wondered where she was instead.
What was she doing now?
Was she meeting up with somebody else?
He hadn´t seen that bastard Reno anywhere. And he´d seen the turk show interest in her once before.
But no.
She´d never actually date someone like Reno.
Or would she?
Maybe it was someone else?
Or maybe she had just stayed back at the Shin-Ra headquarters alone?
Sephiroth didn´t know.
And part of him wasn´t even sure he wanted to.
And then there was that other part of him, telling all his other parts to shut up and just let it drop.
It was none of his business.
He was not to care.
Not about her.
Not about anybody.
It was late already, with midnight approaching fast. Genesis had already gotten past his "quoting" phase and was now moving on to his "I´m an insufferable jerk" mode relatively fast.
Sephiroth had left him in Angeal´s care, who didn´t seem very happy with the circumstances at all, and headed to the bar to get himself something strong. Something that would sedate him enough to ensure the other guests´s survival should he have to stay there any longer.
He watched the big boobed barkeeper pour him his drink, not realizing he had taken a place next to Cloud, who apparently was drunk enough to attempt to engage him in a conversation.
Oh please.
But he remembered. Of course. Cloud had something going on with that girl. Tifa. He faintly remembered her from the New Year´s Eve celebration.
Eager to escape Genesis ´constant nagging, the general opted to listen to Cloud Strife instead, who was ranting on about how hard a time he was having, relieving the outskirts of the city of bugs and other vermin.
As if he cared...
The silver haired man nodded here and there to encourage the third class´ unceasing flow of words, barely even listening, as from the corner of his eyes he watched Genesis and Angeal, now talking animatedly to some middle aged women wearing barely anything but makeup and high-heels.
They obviously were fan girls, or maybe skanks, throwing themselves at his fellow First Class´s.
The redhead catching the general´s eye, excitedly he motioned for him to follow, as he turned to take after Angeal and the girls who were now making their way upstairs to where Sephiroth knew there were several separated rooms free for them to use. A service of the bar that they had used countless times in the past.
Well. They called it 7th heaven for a reason.
But somehow the silver haired first class wasn´t in the mood.
Things looked suspiciously like a foursome or maybe a fifesome.
No thanks.
Not today.
And he found that he felt ready to throw up as he watched his friends ascend the creaking wooden staircase closely following the fan girls, their faces lit in anticipation of what was about to come.
No.
Never again.
Claire Farron knew her plans of going to bed early where doomed the second her body hit her bunk, her mind restless and brooding.
Instead of escaping that dreadful day as fast as possible as she had planned, she now just lay there, tossing and turning but finding no peace.
It was no use.
Every time she closed her eyes, instead of darkness, she found only those beautiful mako green eyes, boring into her own, reminding her of how pathetic and useless she was.