"Morning." Laura greeted as she walked into Jennifer's quarters, awkwardly carrying a tray of food. "Still not sleeping?" She guessed when she saw Jennifer was sitting on her bunk typing on a laptop.
"I'm sleeping." Jennifer said.
"You'd have thought with all the trouble you get into you'd have learned how to lie." Cadman shot back passing the tray to Jennifer.
"I'm not lying, I managed four hours."
"If you were Napoleon I might accept that as enough, but you're not. You promised if you weren't sleeping normally in a week you'd seek help and take some pills. It's been nine days."
"Eight days?" Jennifer asked surprised.
"If you actually left your quarters you might get a better sense of time passing. But yes nine days. Now stop diverting you need to sort your sleeping."
"Being CMO of Atlantis means four hours is normal." Jennifer countered. "I promise I'm sleeping better than I was." Laura just stared at her friend as a hush descended.
"I'm sorry." Jennifer said, finally breaking the silence, as she played with her toast.
"For not eating the breakfast I carried all the way from the Mess Hall with a broken hand?" Laura questioned.
"No, for my problems ruining your time with Evan."
"They didn't." Laura replied, but when she noticed Jennifer's disbelieving look she added. "Ok, it cut down the amount of time I saw him, but it was for the best."
"Why?"
"Things were a little weird."
"Weird how?"
"It doesn't matter. You don't need to hear about my problems, you have enough on your plate."
"For the last few months I have lived with nothing but my problems." Jennifer countered. "Knowing that I'm not the only one with issues isn't going to send me over the edge. It might even make me feel normal." Noticing Laura was hesitating she went on. "You know I have a really annoying friend who is good at extracting information, I'm sure I could use some of her techniques."
"Fine, if you really want to know he kissed me," Laura paused and when she got no response from Jennifer went on, "on the lips."
"Unless you are actually Vivian Ward and you and Evan have some really odd relationship, I don't see the problem."
"We were in the infirmary. You know how twitchy he is about PDAs."
"PDAs? You watching teen soaps again?" Jennifer asked.
"Funny, you want to hear my problems or not?"
"I'm sorry. So he kissed you then...?"
"Then he left the infirmary."
"And?"
"That was the last time I saw him."
"Because of me." Jennifer concluded guiltily.
"Look I know you dated McKay, but that is no reason to act like you have his ego. You are not the cause of every event in my life."
"Just the bad ones. So what are you going to do about Evan?"
"I don't know, but one of the perks of being based on the Daedalus is I have plenty of thinking time."
"And the nine days of thinking you have done so far has resulted in?"
"The decision to think for longer. Anyway when you're done Caldwell wants to see you."
"He does? Why?"
"I don't know, when he issues an order it is not customary for a mere lieutenant to interrogate him. Why are you looking so worried?"
"Last time I saw him I had a melt down. I cried on his shoulder, literarily."
"Well it didn't do him any harm. Besides underneath that cool, distant, professional exterior I'm sure there is soft, gentle, cu- I'm sorry I can't finish that statement."
"Some help you are."
"So you ready?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
-00-
"Doctor come in." Caldwell said as his door opened. When both Jennifer and Laura tried to enter the room he added. "You can wait outside lieutenant." Whilst Jennifer nervously took a seat, still avoiding looking directly at Caldwell Laura reluctantly left. As a silence descended on the room Jennifer waited for Caldwell to speak. Eventually he said. "You know this conversation would go smoother if you looked at me instead of the floor?"
Slowly lifting her head Jennifer felt sure her cheeks were starting to burn as she remembered the meltdown she had had in this room. Happy that he was now the focus of Jennifer's attention he said.
"We, well I, have not been entirely honest with you doctor." He started, causing Jennifer's heart to start racing. "That is to say that whilst we have been returning to Earth some of us have been involved in a mission to catch the bastards that are hounding you. Anyway as soon as we reached transmission distance to Earth we stepped up our efforts to solve the problem. Thanks to Drs McKay and Zelenka who effectively set up a big net, well I think cage was the description they used." He said suddenly sounding uncharacteristically uncomfortable. "The details aren't important, if you want to know ask one of them at a later date, although I would recommend against it. The point is, they set something up to stop every transmission coming to or leaving the Daedalus. A few hours after we were within range of Earth we stopped an encrypted transmission that was focused on you. We then modified the message and sent it on. A little while later we got a reply, which again we modified before it was allowed to reach the Daedalus computers. This went on for a few days during which time the people on the Daedalus thought they were setting up your extraction from my care and the people on Earth thought they were setting up a meeting where the Daedalus team would hand you over."
"There's more of them on the Daedalus?" Jennifer asked, her stomach starting to churn.
"There were. But I assure you that you were completely safe at all times. After the first transmission was sent we identified the agents onboard and they have been under constant surveillance. You have also been under guard, although seeing you have barely left your cabin your protection has been relatively easy."
"When is this meeting and what do I need to do?" Jennifer asked.
"It has been and gone and you don't need to do anything. I wasn't prepared to put you at risk so we arranged for someone to take your place."
"Take my place?"
"We sent a look alike to the meeting. Well technically we sent Colonel Carter who was using a holographic projector SG1 obtained a few years ago. It made Sam look like you long enough for Carter to be taken to their HQ at which time the re-enforcements went in and arrested almost everyone."
"Almost everyone?"
"Some didn't survive the raid and some weren't there. However, it turns out the people in charge are far less disciplined than their hired guns and it didn't take long, three hours in fact, to confess and name other key players. It turns out it was a big cell that was selling medical research to private corporations. They'd planned on exploiting your research and making money. Lots of money."
"Why the statements?"
"It was just a ruse to isolate you from the others. They needed you back on Atlantis and focused on your work. They also wanted a way to extract you, without raising suspicions, once you had done what you were going to do with the sample."
"Why?"
"They'd planned on getting you to work on other projects."
"What if I had signed those statements?" Jennifer asked.
"They were confident you wouldn't. But if you had they would have allowed your resignation to get through, then you would have disappeared to one of their labs. They would have then placed one of their people as the new CMO and gain access to the sample. Obviously it would have taken a few extra months for that to happen, which is why they were keen for you to return." Caldwell explained before allowing Jennifer to process the information. Eventually she asked.
"Why didn't you want Ronon here?"
"Three reasons. Firstly we needed information from the people we'd already caught. There was no way we were going to have them and you on the same ship so they remained in the brig on Atlantis. Ronon had a good chance as anyone of extracting the information. Also if they did escape he is the most qualified to find them; Secondly, when I run an operation I need to be sure my people follow orders. Sheppard might be able to control him, but I sure can't and we couldn't afford to have Sheppard away from Atlantis; And finally having Ronon here might have spooked the insiders. We wanted them relaxed enough to contact their bosses. But I want you to know you were in the least amount of danger possible. If this hadn't panned out the way we'd intended Teal'c would have transferred to your protection detail when we arrived at Earth." Again a silence filled the room as Jennifer processed.
"So it's over?" Jennifer asked, her voice full of disbelief.
"Yes. Which does mean you have some decisions to make. You are going to have to choose whether or not to return to Atlantis."
"Won't you block my return?" Jennifer asked.
"Why would I?" Caldwell questioned, genuinely surprised.
"Because of my breakdown. I mean that is not exactly the stable behaviour they promote in Atlantis personal."
"You're entitled to grieve doctor." Caldwell said. "To be honest I'd have been more concerned if you'd kept everything bottled up. As far as I'm concerned, and for what it is worth Woolsey agrees, whether or not you go back is entirely up to you and you alone. However," in the brief pause that followed Jennifer's hope vanished, "in my opinion, or I guess my advice, if you want it, is don't go back because you feel like you have nothing on Earth. Go back because you want to go back, not because you don't want to stay." He paused letting his words hit home. "I also want you to know that I would be more than happy for you to take charge of the Daedalus infirmary, if you want more time to think about your options." He paused again, checking that Jennifer understood his offer before asking. "So you ready?"
"Ready? For what?" Jennifer asked.
"To beam down to Earth."
"Already? I thought we were still a couple of days out."
"We were testing out some new upgrades and managed to shave a bit of time off the journey. We've been in orbit round Earth for two days, which you might have noticed if you left your quarters."
-00-
Jennifer let her eyes adjust to the light before looking round at her surroundings. As she moved her head she caught sight of Sam who silently moved towards her and engulfed her in a hug.
"I'm so sorry." Sam said softly to Jennifer.
"Sam, what are you doing here?" Jennifer asked, touched and surprised, when Sam finally released her.
"I'm here for you. To make sure you're ok."
"But you have important things to do." Jennifer said.
"Friends are more important than work. Besides you need someone to drive you round." She added nodding towards Laura's swollen hand. "So you want to head to the house?"
"Not yet." Jennifer replied. "I need to go to the grave first."
-00-
As Laura and Sam stayed by the car to give Jennifer privacy, the doctor slowly made her way over the grave.
"How's she doing?" Sam asked when Jennifer was far enough away.
"Better than she was, but still fragile. At least she's eating again and managing some sleep."
"Has she opened up much?"
"A bit, but she's been mainly deflecting, but then again that's her normal style, so maybe it's ok."
"She talked about going back?"
"Nope. She's still processing."
Sam was about to ask something else when she saw that Jennifer had crumpled onto her knees. Within seconds Sam and Laura flanked Jennifer doing their best to comfort her.